Night Train to Murder

by Simon R. Green

  Howard surprised me with something very like a real smile. ‘A funny thing happened when the guard nearly killed me, and Rupert risked his own life to save mine. I suddenly realized that I did want to live after all. It seems life can still surprise me.’ He turned to Rupert. ‘I could use a drink. Perhaps you’d care to join me. There must be somewhere around here still open. And then we can keep an eye out for whoever might be following you – and take turns kicking their arse.’

  ‘Sounds like a plan to me,’ said Rupert.

  They walked away, chatting companionably, and descended the stairs together. I went back to join Penny and the Colonel.

  ‘You really think we should just let them go?’ said Penny. ‘With all the problems they’re facing?’

  ‘What else can we do?’ I said reasonably. ‘I can solve mysteries and catch killers, but I can’t live people’s lives for them. I have enough trouble living my own. Have faith in them, Penny. People often turn out to be stronger than they appear.’

  I turned to the Colonel, ready to explain what had happened to Sir Dennis, but he stopped me with a raised hand.

  ‘I know everything that happened on the train,’ he said calmly. ‘The Division psychics gave me a complete report. Downloaded the damned thing right into my head. Good thing I wasn’t driving at the time.’

  ‘I allowed Sir Dennis to be killed,’ I said. ‘Sorry about that.’

  ‘Don’t be,’ the Colonel said briskly. ‘He’s no great loss.’

  ‘But he was going to be Head of the Psychic Weapons Division!’ said Penny.

  The Colonel smiled. ‘Sir Dennis was never going to take over the British Psychic Weapons Division. He was just a minor politician, put in place to act as a decoy, while I escorted the real head on a separate train. He is currently safely ensconced at Bath MOD Headquarters, being briefed on his new duties.’

  ‘You acted as bodyguard for the new head?’ I said.

  ‘Exactly,’ said the Colonel. ‘While Division psychics watched over us from a distance, of course.’

  ‘Of course,’ I said. ‘But since when have you lowered yourself to do actual work in the field?’

  ‘Since the Division asked the Organization to provide a reliable man, and the Organization chose me,’ said the Colonel. ‘I took it as a compliment. And it’s not like I expected to have to do anything, as long as you two did your job properly and kept everyone else convinced Sir Dennis was the new head.’

  ‘Then the Division and the Organization were working together from the beginning?’ I said.

  ‘Of course,’ said the Colonel. ‘You can’t keep anything from psychics.’

  ‘Sir Dennis didn’t know he was a decoy,’ I said. ‘He thought he’d got the job for real.’

  ‘It was vital he believed that,’ the Colonel said patiently. ‘So the enemy psychics would believe he was the real deal. And, of course, you being there as his bodyguards helped to confirm that.’

  ‘But how could a man like Sir Dennis honestly believe he’d been awarded such an important position?’ said Penny.

  ‘He was led to believe that the role amounted to little more than that of a prestigious figurehead,’ said the Colonel. ‘Payment for past favours, and his continued silence about them. He believed the job was real because he wanted it to be real.’ The Colonel allowed himself a brief cold smile.

  ‘So he was just bait in a trap,’ I said.

  ‘Exactly,’ said the Colonel.

  ‘Along with us,’ said Penny.

  ‘That’s the job, sometimes,’ said the Colonel.

  ‘Who is the new Head of Division?’ I said. ‘Would we have heard of him?’

  ‘You don’t need to know that,’ said the Colonel.

  ‘Why did I just know you were going to say that?’ said Penny.

  ‘Perhaps you’re psychic,’ said the Colonel.

  ‘So we didn’t actually fail in our mission,’ I said. ‘Because protecting Sir Dennis never was the mission. The real Head is safe, and we caught the assassin. Which is really what we were there for.’

  ‘That’s an acceptable way of looking at it,’ said the Colonel.

  Penny looked across at the stairs. ‘Those paramedics aren’t taking Eric to a hospital, are they?’

  ‘Hardly,’ said the Colonel. ‘Mr Holder is currently on his way to a very secure location, where the Division’s top people are waiting to dig his employers’ identity out of his head.’

  ‘Won’t the people who hired Eric have anticipated that?’ I said. ‘They’re bound to have placed telepathic blocks in his mind, to hide who they were. Assuming they ever told Eric who they really were.’

  ‘The Division has a number of very experienced people who are very good at getting to the truth,’ said the Colonel. ‘I’m sure Mr Holder knows all kinds of things he doesn’t know he knows, which will provide numerous useful leads.’

  ‘Do you have any idea who was behind this?’ I said.

  The Colonel shrugged. ‘Could be any number of foreign powers, or interested parties, looking for a chance to throw a stone into the pond and see how far the ripples would spread.’

  ‘These psychics … they won’t hurt Eric, will they?’ said Penny. ‘I mean …’

  ‘Torture?’ said the Colonel. ‘Nothing so crude. They’ll just slip into his mind and help him see the error of his ways, until they have him eating out of their hands and only too eager to tell them everything. They might even persuade him to work for the Division, as a double agent.’

  ‘So he’s never going to face justice?’ I said. ‘For the murders of Sir Dennis and Dee, or for trying to kill the rest of us?’

  ‘I don’t think that’s in anyone’s best interests, do you?’ said the Colonel. ‘It’s not like we could put him on a witness stand. Or you, for that matter.’

  I had to nod. Penny didn’t look at all happy, but she didn’t say anything.

  ‘I’m sure the Division will get good work out of Mr Holder,’ the Colonel said calmly. ‘For as long as he lasts.’

  Penny shuddered briefly as the implications of that struck home. But I was remembering Eric’s gun pressed against her head and I really couldn’t find it in me to feel sorry for him.

  ‘I think it’s best that all of this is forgotten as quickly as possible,’ the Colonel said briskly. ‘Just one small victory in the secret wars that take place every day, which the general public never gets to hear about.’

  ‘Why was Sir Dennis chosen as bait?’ said Penny.

  ‘Because he’d been a bad boy,’ said the Colonel. ‘Got caught with his hand in the cookie jar once too often. That’s politics for you: red in tooth and claw. But I really wouldn’t feel sorry for him. I’ve seen that man’s file. If you knew half the things he did and got away with, his death wouldn’t bother you in the least. The world is a better place for him not being in it.’

  ‘And now that he’s safely dead,’ I said, ‘he can’t talk about all the favours he did for people currently in high positions. No doubt they’ll all feel a lot safer, once the news breaks …’

  I was careful not to sound too accusing, but the Colonel had no trouble picking up on my implication.

  ‘I wouldn’t be too sure about that. Apparently, the Division psychics took a good look inside Sir Dennis’s head while they were watching over the train. I’m sure they found all kinds of interesting things in there.’

  I looked at him sharply. ‘Is that how the Division ensures its independence from political interference? By knowing things about people in power?’

  ‘I couldn’t possibly comment,’ said the Colonel.

  ‘What about the other people travelling with us in First Class?’ said Penny. ‘Rupert and Howard, Sita and Brian?’

  ‘What about them?’ said the Colonel.

  ‘They had no idea of the danger they were in,’ I said. ‘They didn’t agree to be a part of this.’

  ‘They were a necessary part of the camouflage,’ said the Colonel.

  ‘Then can we
at least leave them alone now, to get on with their lives?’ I said. ‘It’s not like they know anything that matters.’

  ‘They’ve been put through enough,’ said Penny.

  The Colonel pursed his lips for a moment. ‘I don’t see any need to detain them. I’ve been told the Division psychics will only take a quick peek inside their heads, from a distance. I’m sure if they do happen across something that shouldn’t be there, they’ll just quietly delete it.’

  And then we all looked round, at the sound of a door opening in the First-Class carriage. A single figure stepped carefully down on to the platform and closed the door behind him. It was the psychic Penny and I had met in the Hipster Bar at Paddington. The man called Nemo – Mr Nobody. I stared at him blankly as he came strolling over to join us, and then I turned to look accusingly at the Colonel, who didn’t appear in the least surprised. Nemo stopped before us and nodded courteously.

  ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I was there all along, hidden behind an invisible shield, observing everything.’

  ‘You were right there in the carriage with us?’ said Penny. ‘All the way from Paddington?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Nemo.

  ‘But I didn’t see you!’ I said.

  ‘No one ever does, unless I allow them to,’ said Nemo. ‘That’s part of my job description.’

  ‘But … there weren’t any of the usual signs,’ I said. ‘No psychic fallout!’

  ‘I can suppress that kind of thing, when necessary,’ Nemo said patiently. ‘Just as I did at Paddington.’

  I felt like saying a great many things, but given that Nemo probably already knew what I was thinking, I didn’t see the point. Penny still saw the warning signs in my face and cut in quickly.

  ‘Why didn’t you reveal yourself, once Sir Dennis had been killed? You could have probed the minds of everyone in First Class, and saved us wasting all that time interrogating them!’

  ‘And why didn’t you intervene when Eric was threatening to kill us all?’ I said, just a bit heatedly.

  ‘I was under strict orders not to give my presence away,’ said Nemo. ‘I was only there to be the last line of defence, in the event that the Division psychics watching over the train failed. Sir Dennis’s murder caught me completely by surprise, because I was only watching for a psychic attack. But I had complete faith in the two of you to catch the killer. And to deal with any other little problems that might arise. Think of me as the safety net you didn’t need. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be off to MOD Headquarters.’

  He smiled at each of us and then walked unhurriedly over to the stairs. I turned to the Colonel. He shrugged.

  ‘Division field agents are a law unto themselves and go their own way. Remind you of anyone?’

  Penny dragged the conversation determinedly back to where it had been before we were interrupted.

  ‘Those psychics who’ll be digging into Rupert’s and Howard’s minds – could they do anything to help them? Like keep Howard from killing himself?’

  She started to explain, but the Colonel stopped her with a raised hand. ‘My briefing covered everyone in First Class. But there’s a limit to what psychics can do, without brainwashing people. In the end, we are all the captains of our own souls and must make our own decisions. The best a psychic could do would be to give Howard a nudge in the right direction and hope for the best.’

  ‘But will they?’ I said.

  ‘I don’t see why not,’ said the Colonel. ‘As you said, these people didn’t ask to be part of our little game. An argument could be made that we owe them something.’

  ‘What about Rupert?’ I said.

  ‘Mr Hall’s life is his own business,’ said the Colonel. ‘We exist to protect people from outside threats, not meddle in their private lives.’

  ‘Could Sita still have an exclusive for her paper?’ I said.

  ‘I don’t see why not,’ said the Colonel. ‘In fact, carefully managed, that could make a good distraction to help us hide what really happened to Sir Dennis.’

  I couldn’t keep from smiling. Sita would really hate that if she ever found out.

  ‘What about Brian?’ said Penny. ‘None of what happened was his fault.’

  ‘I’m sure he’ll receive some kind of commendation for being wounded in the line of duty,’ said the Colonel. ‘Now, is there anything else? I do have a report to write before I can put this evening behind me.’

  I looked back at the train as a thought struck me. ‘What about Sir Dennis’s body? We can’t just leave it there.’

  ‘It’s already gone,’ said the Colonel.

  ‘I didn’t see anything!’ I said.

  The Colonel smiled. ‘That’s psychics for you.’

  ‘The sneaky bastards!’ said Penny.

  ‘Well, quite,’ said the Colonel. He looked at me thoughtfully. ‘Since you did perform a valuable service this evening, for the Division as well as the Organization, Mr Nemo has performed a small service for you, Mr Jones. I’m told he couldn’t read your mind, which came as something of a surprise to him, but he was able to help you remember something you’d forgotten. The memory should reappear in your mind any time now. So, until we meet again …’

  He tipped his homburg to Penny and to me, and then strode briskly away and off down the stairs. We watched carefully till we were sure he was gone, and then looked at each other.

  ‘We’d better find a hotel in Bath and travel back to London tomorrow,’ said Penny. ‘What was all that about you forgetting something?’

  ‘Damned if I know,’ I said. ‘I suppose it’s some comfort that even if I couldn’t detect Nemo’s presence, at least he couldn’t read my mind.’

  And then I broke off and looked at Penny, shocked and startled.

  ‘I’ve just remembered! I wasn’t the only member of my crew to survive the starship crash! There was another …’