Fools Rush In

by Gwynne Forster

  “As I was saying, I want to make his night perfect, one that we will remember forever, and I can do that if you do as I ask. Trust me?”

  He could have tanned in the sunshine of her smile. “Oh, I do. Give me a few minutes.”

  Twenty minutes later, she stuck her head out of her room and called, “Wayne. For Pete’s sake, how long is a minute in Beaver Ridge?”

  He stepped to her door, picked her up, and carried her to bed.

  Her nerves rioted in her body. If he didn’t hurry and do something, she’d go berserk. He leaned over her and brushed her lips with his, but she wanted to tell him that she’d been in a constant state of desire for him for almost as long as she’d known him. He took his time, showering her with kisses, and her restlessness increased. At last his fingers touched where no man’s hand had gone and dragged a keening cry from her. She thought she’d die for whatever it was he’d give her. His fingers tortured her nub of passion and his lips feasted at her breasts until she pulled him over her body and begged for relief.

  He stared into her eyes. “Look at me, Love. This can only happen to us once.”

  Passion flared up in her, and she raised her body to meet his as he slowly began his entrance. She bit her lips at the first stabbing pain.

  “Try to relax, sweetheart, and it will be better in a second.”

  “I know it’s supposed to hurt, and I don’t care if it does. It’s wonderful, even hurting.”

  She felt his arm around her shoulder and his right hand beneath her hip. Then he kissed her, and she took his sweet tongue into her mouth as he burst into her. He looked down in her face and kissed moisture from her lashes.

  “I love you, Leah. I’ve never loved another woman. Never. I…I’m in love with you. Do you love me, Leah?”

  “I do. I love you. I hardly remember when I didn’t.” She twisted beneath him. “Isn’t something else supposed to happen?”

  His face beamed and a grin spread over it. “You’re priceless. I’m just giving you time to adjust to me.”

  “Okay, I’m adjusted.”

  He bent to her breasts, put a hand between them and brought her back to passion’s peak. Minutes later, she shouted his name as he hurtled them both into ecstasy. Then, he wrapped her tightly in his arms and cherished her.

  The expression on her face as she looked at him had to be one of awe. When he asked what the matter was, she answered. “If I had known this, I would have seduced you long ago.”

  “Seduced me? Is that what you think you did?”

  “If I didn’t,” she purred, raising her arms and stretching like a sated young cat, “I need some pointers.”

  “Woman, you don’t need anything. You wouldn’t be more perfect for me if I’d made you myself.”

  If she were any happier, she’d probably start shouting. “Now what do we do?” she asked him. What was he so serious about, she wondered, as he gazed into her eyes.

  He didn’t keep her guessing. “Are you going to marry me?”

  “Am I going to…what did you say?”

  “I said, will you marry me?”

  “Of course. Do you think I would have done this if I wasn’t planning to marry you?”

  She loved to hear him laugh, and happiness suffused her and it rolled out of him. “Say, do you realize it’s ten o’clock and you haven’t smoked a cigarette since before we left Frederick at five o’clock?”

  “Yeah, I know. You don’t like my smoking, but since you were smart enough not to ask me to quit, I’m trying to stop.”

  “But if I’d asked you to stop, you wouldn’t have considered doing it. Right?”

  She snuggled closer to him. “Something like that. I would’ve eventually, though, ’cause I don’t want my children to smoke.” She stroked his arm, loving the feel of the silky hairs that got thicker the closer she got to his wrist “I just wish Justine was as happy as I am right now.”

  “You like her?”

  “I think she’s a wonderful person, and she loves my brother.”

  “They’ll work it out.” He rolled her over on her back. “Who do you love?”

  She let her fingers learn his silky eyebrows as she stroked them. “Hmmm. Can’t think of his name.”

  “I’ll see if I can’t refresh your memory,” he said, and set himself to the task.

  Justine hugged and kissed Tonya for the third time. As much as she looked forward to being alone with Duncan, she didn’t want to leave her child. Duncan leaned against his mother’s refrigerator watching her.

  “Juju kiss Tonya. Daddy kiss Tonya,” the child said repeatedly, enjoying the fun of having been passed from one of them to the other as they kissed her good-bye.

  “Girlfriend, I’ve got something to show you,” Banks said to Justine, and ushered her into a nearby bedroom. “Don’t miss the opportunity of a lifetime, honey,” she advised Justine. “Let him love you. Considering the person you are, nothing could be so awful that he won’t accept and forgive. You two love each other. Anybody can see it. Mama is always singing an old hymn, ‘Work for the Night Is Coming.’ Think about that.”

  “You’re saying I’m keeping something from him?”

  “Yes. I’m also saying that if you weren’t, the two of you would be open to each other and to the world about what you feel. Like Wayne and me. Don’t let it pass you by.” She crossed her right index and middle fingers. “I’m rooting for you.”

  “We’d better be going,” Duncan said, when Justine and Banks came back into the kitchen. “If you need me, call my cell phone number.”

  Arlene Banks hugged Justine and whispered, “God bless you, honey.”

  Duncan’s mother and sister stood at the door waving to them. “I hope they work it out,” Arlene said. “She loves this child so much.”

  “More than you’d expect of a nanny,” Banks added.

  Arlene looked her daughter in the eye. “She’s more to Tonya than a nanny.”

  “I know,” Banks replied. “I can’t figure out why he doesn’t see it.”

  “He doesn’t want to see it, and he won’t learn it from us, either.”

  “Good Lord, no. I want her to be my sister-in-law, and if we get in it, that’ll be the end.”

  Arlene looked around for Tonya, who was pulling a glass vase on herself, and rushed to the child. “He needs her. I just hope he realizes how much.”

  Duncan took the Baltimore National Pike out of Frederick wondering whether his plan was defeated before it began. Justine was too quiet for his comfort. Judging that it wasn’t a time for seriousness, he said, “I bet you can’t name two famous black parks.”

  “Sure I can. Rosa and Gordon. Let’s see if you can name two famous black highways.”

  “That’s easy,” he said, warming up to the challenge. “There’s the Jackie Robinson Memorial in New York City, and the Martin Luther King Jr. Highway in just about every big city in the country. Who was the most famous African American man to pitch in both the Negro league and the major leagues?”

  She laughed, and he began to relax. “Now you’re about to learn that I love baseball. It was Satchel Page. Since you started this, and being a journalist, maybe you’d like to give me the names of five members of the Harlem Renaissance, including the last one who died recently. Duncan, look out!”

  “Sorry.” He switched over to the right lane and slower traffic. Some nanny. She’d just about given up all pretense. The Harlem Renaissance, for goodness sake. “Let’s see. Langston Hughes, Countee Cullen, Alain Locke, Zora Neale Hurston, James Van Der Zee, and Dorothy West, who died last year.”

  “Six of them. Not bad.”

  “As you said, I’m a journalist.” And what a surprise she’d get when he brought her the weekend edition of The Maryland Journal. He didn’t want to think about it. “I’ve been writing since I was a boy. From elementary school on, I managed to get on the school paper. When I was a junior in college, I got to interview First Lady Barbara Bush. She was reading to some kids, and I sent my creden
tials to her and asked for an interview. She granted it. That was my first big one. I sent her the copy before I filed the piece with my editor, and she called the principal and congratulated me on the story and on my fairness.”

  “I love writing, too,” Justine said. “Aunt Mariah doesn’t keep me as busy as I’d like to be or could be, because Tonya is at the age now where I shouldn’t interfere with her too much, though she’s so precious that it’s difficult to give her the space she needs. She ought to have freedom to explore, and I try to give her that. I’m developing a series of instructions for use in adult literacy classes. I’ll give them to the Literacy society. I don’t want to profit from helping people learn to read, because illiteracy is such a handicap, and I want to do all I can to help.”

  He eased up on the accelerator. The entire scenario was getting to be a barrel of laughs. His daughter’s nanny was developing materials for use in adult literacy classes. He told himself to remember their agreement, conditions that he had set, and that learning about each other was what they were supposed to be doing.

  He made himself sound casual. “I’d already realized that you’re interested in education. That’s a wonderful thing you’re doing.” It didn’t surprise him that he meant the compliment.

  They’d left the pike and had been driving on route 695 for over half an hour. “We’ll be there in a couple of minutes. I hope you’ll like it as much as I do. It isn’t as big as the Roundtree Lodge, but it’s just as comfortable.”

  “I should hope not,” she said. “Why would you need a five-bedroom lodge?”

  Darkness settled around them soon after they reached their destination, and Duncan made a fire in the great stone fireplace. “Did you bring some good walking shoes and some sweaters?” he asked her.

  Assured that she had, he suggested that they walk over to the beach. “It’s wonderful at night.”

  “In the darkness?”

  “Bundle up and come with me. You’ll enjoy it. When we get back, it’ll be warm in here.”

  They walked along the beach, letting their shoes sink into the white sand. Justine marveled at the peace all around them, a vibrant harmony that linked them as surely as a vine connected the leaves it nourished. His ungloved hand tightened around hers, communicating his understanding of their oneness at that moment, and she turned and held him to her. But all that she was and everything she felt for him, for Tonya, and the eminent end to it all shredded her joy at being with him and tore into her soul.

  “It’s all right, sweetheart,” he said as he held her and stroked her back. “This is why we’re here, to come to terms with what we feel for each other.”

  She took herself in hand and calmed herself. Seeing Kenneth tied in that plastic bag hadn’t thrown her, and neither would this. They walked to the other side of the pier, where the sloshing of water against the small boats interrupted the calm. The breeze strengthened, and she tightened her jacket. How could it be that they had walked so far, hardly speaking, and yet she felt as though they had communed as never before.

  “Justine, look at this.” He pointed to the moon that seemed to rise from the ocean.

  A sliver of electricity jetted up her spine as the big bright disk emerged onto the horizon, and he whispered, “Life for us can be like this always, if we let go and embrace it.”

  “I can’t let you talk this way, Duncan. I told you that, in the end, we’ll separate, and nothing has happened to change that.”

  “Aren’t you willing to try?”

  She stepped away from him. “I can’t try, Duncan. Knowing what I know, it would be no use.”

  He grabbed the lapels of her coat and pulled her to him, “Why can’t you level with me?”

  She shook her head. “When I met you, you’d sworn off emotional involvement, so even when I knew I loved you, I didn’t worry for your sake, because I alone would suffer the consequences. Are you saying that you…you’re—”

  He interrupted her. “That was before I knew you. Before I held you in my arms and exploded to life inside you. Before I loved you.”

  “Duncan, don’t…you can’t.”

  “You must know it. How could you not know that I love you?”

  His eyes were shimmering promises of forever, and she had to lower her gaze lest she foolishly commit to what could never be. “Can we…can we have this night together? This one last night together?”

  He shook her shoulders as if to reawaken her to the truth. “Tell me you can walk away from me. And from Tonya. Tell me that you can wipe us out of your life and walk on. I don’t question your love for me, and I know you love Tonya as much as if you had given birth to her.”

  Thank God he wasn’t looking into her face when he said it. She couldn’t pretend. Not now, when the truth seethed within her, and to look at him would be tantamount to agreeing with his words.

  “Answer me,” he challenged. “Can you do that? Can you relegate me and my child to the back corner of your life, old clothes that you’ve discarded, and take a hike? Can you?”

  I won’t let him beat me down, she told herself, but words wouldn’t come, and when he held her face to his shoulder, she let him comfort her. After some minutes, while wrapped in the cold night, holding each other, he asked her, “Is this your answer?”

  She looked up into the storm that raged in his eyes, at the passion and anger that wrestled with his love for her. “If I had the right, I’d tell you I never want to leave you, that the thought of being away from Tonya sickens me, but I don’t have that right.”

  He released her, took her hand, and headed down the beach toward his lodge. “I promised not to pressure you, but I did, and it was a mistake. Let’s go get something to eat.”

  She doubted she could swallow a morsel. They walked in silence until they reached the lodge and entered it as his cell phone began to ring. He raced to answer it.

  “Hello.”

  He listened for a second, his face ashened and grim, and passed the receiver to her. “It’s Leah. Something’s wrong with Tonya.”

  She grabbed the phone. “Justine, she didn’t eat any dinner; she wouldn’t sit up when I tried to bathe her; she didn’t have any interest in anything. I read from the books you brought, but she ignored me. What’s the matter with her?”

  That was the third time Tonya had behaved that way. “I took her to the doctor with those symptoms a couple of weeks back, but it must not be a virus as the doctor thought.” She turned to Duncan. “We’d better go get her and take her to the doctor.”

  Duncan took the phone. “We’ll be there by seven tomorrow morning. If she worsens, call me.” He hung up. “Let’s get some sleep. We may have a rough day ahead.”

  She told him good night and went to her room. Whatever providence had in store for her, she wasn’t going to like it.

  Chapter 14

  The next morning, Duncan parked in front of his mother’s house in Frederick, cut the motor, and jumped out. In his haste, he forgot to open the passenger’s door for Justine, but she raced beside him up the wide, paved walkway. As they reached the porch steps, he stopped her and took her hand.

  “We don’t yet know whether there’s anything to be concerned about. So don’t worry. My mother is probably worrying enough for both of us.”

  She nodded. “I’m calm, Duncan. I think.” However, her breath came with difficulty.

  “Take a deep breath,” he coaxed. “You shouldn’t be panting this way. She’ll be all right, baby. And if she’s sick, she’ll get the best care; you know that. Now, chin up.” Worry clouded his own face, but he tilted up her chin, pressed a kiss to her lips, winked at her, and rang the doorbell.

  She pushed her glasses to the bridge of her nose, smiled tremulously, and told him, “I hope she someday knows how lucky she is to have you for a father.”

  He punched the bell again. “How’s she doing?” he asked his mother when she opened the door.

  “About the same. Come on in and get a bite to eat. Soon as I put her jacket on
her, she’ll be ready.” She looked at Justine. “Honey, I’m so sorry you had to break up your vacation this way. I hope nothing’s wrong and you can go on back tonight.”

  Justine thanked her. “Where’s Leah?”

  Arlene smiled as she led them through the kitchen to the breakfast room. “At least there’s some good news. Wayne was over last night after we called you and asked for permission to marry Leah. I hadn’t expected that so soon, but she was certain she was going to marry him. How do you feel about that, son?”

  From the grin on his face, Justine thought the question redundant. “Wayne’s my best friend, my soul-brother, and he’s a great guy. I couldn’t ask for a better man for her.” He ran his left hand over his tight black curls and blew out a long breath. “Boy, does that guy work fast! But that’s the way he is. He takes forever to make up his mind, but when he does, look out.”

  Arlene led Justine to Tonya’s room, and she put herself to the task of dressing the child. At that moment, anything would have been a task; if she had been anxious before, her feelings now bordered on alarm, for Tonya had barely greeted her. She took her into the breakfast room and let Duncan judge for himself.

  He looked at the two of them, set his coffee cup down, and got up from the table. “Thanks for everything, Mama. Tell Leah I’ll catch up with her later. We’d better leave.”

  When they reached Washington, he drove directly to the George Washington University Medical Center, identified himself, and asked for the chief of pediatrics. In less than an hour, Tonya was in a room gaily decorated with animals, balls, and mobiles that children love, but which she barely noticed.

  Duncan prepared to leave, but Justine hung back, concerned that Tonya didn’t cry or seem to care that she was in a strange place. He walked back to Justine, but not even his strong arms around her reassured her. He held her to his side until they reached his car.

  “We’re in this together, honey, so don’t shut me out. You couldn’t hurt as badly as I do, so let’s be here for each other. Whatever it is, we’ll beat it.”