Finding Perseverance (The Unexpected Love Series Book 3)

by T. E. Black

  “Trent,” I warn.

  Cocking his head to the side, he twists the cap off the bottle, tosses it in the trash, and raises the bottle so close to his mouth it’s almost touching his lips. Panic rises inside me until it begins taking over every pulse in my body. Sweat builds at my brow with every second he has the bottle so close to his lips.

  I won’t let him do it.

  “I know I haven’t been a great best friend. I know I’ve been angry at just about everything and everyone. I’ve taken that out on you. Since seeing Rook again, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and do you know what I’ve decided?” He lifts the bottle a bit and inhales long and deep before continuing. “I’ve decided that I wasn’t angry at either of you guys. Not really. I was angry at myself and couldn’t handle it, so I took it out on the two people I knew I could push and push and push and wouldn’t walk away from me. I took out my anger over not being able to save Mom on the two people I loved the most instead of just realizing that’s just how life is. I hid from it instead of dealing with it, and it made me so angry, Leigh. I think I always knew that, though. Always knew that you would still be here when the smoke cleared. Doesn’t that make me a shitty person? To treat you that way instead of just manning up? Don’t shitty people deserve shitty things? I mean, why stay sober? If I took a drink, Shay would leave me and take Abby with her. They would be free of me, the recovering addict. It’s not like I deserve them. I wouldn’t be their problem anymore. Hell, maybe if we could drink together, you and I, it would be like old times, bonding and drowning our bullshit in booze after Rook leaves us.”

  I jump from my seat, and my hand flies out, smacking the bottle from his grasp. We both watch as it shatters against the wall beside us.

  “Don’t you dare!” A sob racks over my body, every emotion I was blocking out breaking open the flood gates again.

  I hate it.

  Trent holds me in his arms as I sob harder than I ever have before. I cry like my life depends on it.

  And, maybe in a sick, fucked up way, it does.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Rook

  “She hasn’t been here all day, Rook. I don’t think she’ll be showing up tonight either, seeing how it’s already after two in the morning.”

  Glancing up from my now empty beer bottle, I find Sarah staring at me with a mix of emotions. Two in the morning already? Damn.

  “It was worth a try.”

  I shouldn’t have been surprised when Leigh didn’t answer my phone calls or that she wasn’t at work all day or night. I also shouldn’t have assumed she was all right when she obviously wasn’t.

  I came downstairs for closing time, hoping to catch Leigh before she went back to her apartment instead of ours, where she belongs. To my surprise, Sarah was the one closing the place, but reluctantly let me stay.

  “You know I’ll always root for you and Ryleigh, right?” she asks, wiping down a bar glass.

  “I appreciate it, but I fucked up—big time.”

  “What happened?” Her brows furrow as she leans over the bar, resting her weight on her elbows.

  “I let her walk away.”

  “You let her walk away or she walked away?” Sarah gives me soft smile.

  I scoff, laying my head in my hands. “Does it matter? I sure as shit didn’t stop her. Luke came in and started babbling about my getting back into my old life—the fighting, the training, the traveling.”

  “And?”

  “I saw it in her eyes, Sarah. I saw the way she looked at me—with so much pain and betrayal. She came up with her own conclusion about me leaving her, and I didn’t tell her any different. She thought I was leaving without her … again.”

  If I were a smart man—a good man, I would have taken Leigh by the hands and kissed away any worry or doubt she had lingering in her head. I should have told Luke the truth—that I wasn’t leaving Leigh.

  “Well, are you leaving her?” Her eyes narrow as if she’s preparing for a fight.

  “You’re asking me questions that I don’t know the answers to now.”

  “But, you knew the answer when Leigh was standing in front of you?”

  “Of course I did. I wasn’t planning on leaving her, Sarah.” I snap, instantly regretting my harsh tone.

  “What’s so different now? Why is your answer different?”

  I look away so she doesn’t see my head hanging in shame. “Because, I don’t know if she wants me to stay anymore.”

  Then the little spit-fire of a bartender cracks me upside my head with her palm.

  “What the hell was that?” I ask in disbelief.

  “You know, I know you’re a guy and all, but seriously? You can’t be that dense. Give me a break here! Do you honestly believe she wouldn’t want you to stay with her?”

  I answer as she impatiently waits. “I don’t know. We’ve been through so much, and sometimes I wonder if she’s had enough.”

  An exhausted breath rips from her throat as she lays her head in her hands. “Rook, I’m only telling you this because I know how much the two of you adore each other. Everyone who’s seen you two together knows how much love there is between you. I know if I tell you where Ryleigh is, you’ll do the right thing. You’ll fix this—maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but you won’t leave Boston without her. Do you understand me? That girl is the closest thing to a sister I have, and I’ll always protect her.”

  “You know where she is?” My question has her shooting and incredulous glance at me.

  “Of course I know where she is. Trent came to get her earlier today.” She sighs.

  “Trent came to get her?” I ask. “Why? What happened? Is she all right?”

  Sarah finally drops her hands from her head and looks at me. “She’s fine, Rook. Calm down. She got beyond wasted, and finally, I had to call someone. She was out of hand.”

  “Why didn’t you call me? Why my brother?” I feel myself becoming annoyed.

  She glares. “I didn’t call you or Trent. I called Shay.”

  “Fuck, I’m sorry, Sarah. I don’t mean to take this out on you.”

  “It’s all right.” I know she means it too. Sarah just seems like the type of girl who rolls with the punches.

  “I’m happy she and Trent are back on speaking terms, but it also makes me sick to my stomach that I wasn’t the one there for her when she needed me to be. Instead of coming down earlier and making sure she was all right, I hid in the apartment like a little bitch.”

  “You were giving her space, which was probably a good thing at the time.”

  “I should’ve went after her. Do you think I should go there—to my brother’s house?”

  I watch as Sarah sighs, and shakes her head back and forth. “No, Rook. You need to give her space tonight. If she wanted to be found, she would’ve called you or picked up the phone.”

  “I need to know she’s all right.”

  “Then call your brother and ask how she is. Maybe Trent will relay the message in the morning that you called. I’m willing to bet she’d appreciate you checking in on her. Plus, she’d know you came downstairs to find her after closing.”

  For a woman I hardly know, Sarah gets me. She knows I need verification that I’m doing the right thing when it comes to Leigh.

  I have a habit of second-guessing myself when it comes to Ryleigh O’Donnell. I’m sure of everything—that I want her, that I love her, that I can’t live without her. Yet, I keep sending her running for the hills.

  “I might just do that.” I smile, thankful.

  Sarah and I sit in silence for a few moments before she slides another beer across the bar. “This one is on the house.” She gestures for me to take it.

  I oblige, grabbing the bottle and taking a slow sip. “Sometimes I have a hard time figuring out where I went wrong.”

  “Rook, you and Ryleigh are fixable. It’s not over until one of you leaves the state.”

  “Not with Leigh,” I wave her off. “Just in general—with Lauren,
with my career, with life.”

  Sarah chuckles, looking surprised. “Your life can’t be that bad, Rook. I don’t mean to offend you, but your loaded, your famous, and you’re a heavyweight title holder for God’s sake.”

  I scoff, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. Sarah just broke down exactly what everyone sees when they look at me. But they have no idea.

  “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. It may be a life full of fame and fortune, but it gets old—lonely even. Every ounce of love I thought I found, besides Leigh, was a lie.” Sarah waits as I take a deep breath. “Did Leigh ever tell you the truth about that woman—Lauren?”

  “She only told me the same things the news did,” she says.

  “She was one of the people I thought I loved. She lied to me about a lot of shit, and it makes me sick thinking about what her husband did to her. But once she was gone and I burnt all our bridges, I realized I loved the idea of her more than I loved the actual person. She was safe for a guy like me—a famous fighter who was constantly under a watchful eye. She knew the drill when it came to being famous, and I thought she was the one. She also knew how to screw people over, which is what her and her husband, whom she lied about divorcing, planned to do to me.”

  “I feel bad cursing the dead, but after what she did to you, she sounds like a bitch.”

  A deep chuckle tears from my vocal chords when I hear how serious Sarah sounds.

  “She really was.”

  “So, you never loved her?”

  “Apparently not. I can safely say that Leigh is the only girl I have ever loved. She will probably be the only girl I will ever love.”

  Silence stretches between us after that. I drink my beer and Sarah cleans. I’m about ready to leave when she tosses her towel down and turns back to me. “Why don’t you go call your brother, Rook? Sitting in this place, slugging down beers isn’t going to help you from not worrying about Leigh. Maybe if you call him you can get some piece of mind. Plus, my husband is finally home from tour tonight, and I have to get ready for a special reunion.”

  I take her words as my hint to get the hell out of here. I stand from my seat and grab my wallet, fishing for some cash. When Sarah starts to decline my money, I place my hand over it and slide it across the bar toward her.

  “Take it. After dealing with my sorry ass tonight, it’s the least I could do.”

  She nods, finally giving in.

  “Thanks, Rook. I’m rooting for you.”

  “I appreciate it,” I reply before starting for the apartment.

  I’ve learned a lot about love and relationships through this mess. I’ve learned to follow my heart not my dick. With Leigh, it’s not just my dick that springs to life, it’s my heart, too. Every time I see her, my heart thuds in my chest as if I’m seeing her for the first time. Nothing will ever compare to the first time. Although, the first time I pressed my lips to hers is also up there on the list of my top ten moments.

  See, the thing is, it’s always been Leigh. From the first time I noticed her, to our first kiss, to the first time we made love—she was my everything.

  Even when I thought leaving her and going clear across the country would change that, it didn’t. It took until she walked out the back door at Max’s to realize I never stopped loving her at all.

  Never once did I stop thinking about her, missing her, wondering about her.

  She was always in the back of my mind somewhere. I just chose to block it out while I was away. I blocked out everything from my former life and started writing a new chapter in my life, because that’s what I thought was right.

  But how wrong was I?

  Opening the front door to the apartment, I reach for my phone and dial Trent’s number, hoping to God he answers and tells me Leigh’s all right.

  One ring.

  Two rings.

  Voice mail.

  The “fuck-you” button. Dammit. I can’t believe he dodged my call.

  He has to know how worried I am about Leigh. I hit his name again.

  One ring.

  Voice mail.

  Asshole. I scroll to Leigh’s number.

  Voice mail again.

  “It’s Ryleigh! I’m busy. You know what to do or where to find me. If you want to get drunk, come down to Max’s and mention the coupon code ‘Voice mail’. You’ll earn yourself a free beer. If not, just leave a message!”

  Her voice mail has me chuckling so hard, I almost miss the beep signaling for me to start recording. I wait to speak for a moment until I can gather the thoughts in my head, but when I do, I tell her what I hope she still wants to hear.

  “Leigh,” I say softly. “It’s me, Rook. I’m so sorry for not telling Luke, or you, that I’m not leaving. And, if I wanted to leave, I’d have to talk to you first. We’re in this together—the two of us. Decisions have to be made together, and I should’ve told Luke that too. But, most importantly, I should have never let you walk out that door.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I promise this is the last time something like this will happen. I promise once you call me back, we’ll fix this. I’ve loved you since the moment I saw you, Ryleigh O’Donnell. It was, is, and always will be you. I love you, sweetheart. Please let me know your all right.”

  Hitting the end button, I watch as Leigh’s name disappears on the screen in front of me.

  Please call me back, babe.

  I need to know you’re okay.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Ryleigh

  “You ready?” Trent asks, prepping his tattoo equipment.

  “Ready.”

  “All right. Let’s do this then. It’s been a while since you got any new ink,” he chuckles, positioning the stencil on my inner forearm.

  “I think in light of everything, it’s only right to get something new. Besides, I miss it.”

  I give Trent a small, compassionate smile. When he finishes the stencil, I lift my arm to check out the elegant script adorning my skin.

  “It looks amazing. Let’s do this!”

  Trent nods, pressing the needle to my skin for the first time in months. Just like last time, I expect the worst amount of pain and squeeze my eyes shut, waiting for it to hurt like a bitch.

  Trent chuckles as he traces out the first line. “I didn’t hurt you last time I gave you a tattoo did I?”

  A loud laugh slips from my lips as I shake my head.

  “No. That doesn’t mean it won’t hurt this time, though.”

  Trent glances at me before looking down at the tattoo. “That’s because you assume the worst all the time. Maybe if you started looking at the brighter side of things, it wouldn’t suck so bad.”

  “Pot meet kettle.” I roll my eyes at his new-found wisdom. Ever since Trent got sober, he’s been a roller-coaster of emotions. I know he means well. But, sometimes, things aren’t rainbows and sunshine.

  Sometimes a storm unlike any storm before it blows through, and it causes mayhem.

  Me and Trent should know this better than anyone. We’ve been through hypothetical hurricanes, thunderstorms, tornados, maybe even a monsoon a time or two.

  But we got through it. We waited out the dark clouds and countless downpours, only to see the sunshine at the end.

  Last night was one of those storms for us.

  After I left the bar and went to Trent and Shay’s house, I got sick as a dog. I don’t know what I was thinking drinking that much Jim, but I should have known better.

  Much to my surprise, Trent took care of me while I emptied my stomach into their toilet. He stayed up most of the night while I slept, making sure I wasn’t going to choke on my own vomit.

  It was much appreciated, because I don’t plan on going out that way.

  When I woke to Trent and Shay’s daughter, Abby, crashing into my couch, I smiled despite the wicked hangover. I hadn’t seen her in so long, and honestly, I love the kid. She gets cuter every time.

  We had breakfast, and I apologized for the night before—especially to Shay. She got mo
st of my wrath, although it wasn’t meant for her.

  So, as we sat at their kitchen table, eating the bacon and eggs Trent cooked, they asked what set me off in the first place. I told them everything, not leaving the smallest of details out.

  Shay showed more compassion than Trent did, but he had good reason. I should have told him I knew where Rook was.

  When I told them how under-appreciated I felt, they both protested until their faces turned blue. They asked me why I didn’t tell them before, and I was honest once again. I told them I didn’t want to hurt anyone.

  That’s how we ultimately ended up at Etched with me in the chair.

  “So, any new ideas on what to do about my brother?” Trent asks while his music plays in the otherwise quiet shop.

  He has the worst timing ever. When I didn’t want to think about Rook, he’s back front and center in my mind. I’ve been consumed by Rook for far longer than I planned to be in the beginning of this. I figured he’d hide out in the bar, his name would get cleared, and he’d be on his merry way.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” I tell Trent.

  “Too bad.” Trent chuckles. “You need to make a decision, and you’re running out of time.”

  “Why am I the one who has the make the decision?” I ask, annoyed.

  “Because my brother was never good at making the right decisions. You know this as well as I do. So, make it for him. Tell him what you want, but say it before it’s too late and he gets on a plane back to California.”

  Fuck me!

  Why does Trent have to be right? Why can’t he go back to being a twat and stop being helpful? It’s not as if I don’t know I have to decide what I want with Rook. I don’t want to do it, yet.

  I want a little more time to make sure I’m right with my choices. I don’t want a repeat of ten years ago, but at the same time, I don’t want to be selfish. I don’t want to tell Rook to go when I want him to stay. I sure as shit don’t want to tell him to stay when he wants to go.