by Jack Ford
‘All this is funny to you, isn’t it?’ Granger’s voice broke through the banter. Silenced the moment as he stalked towards them. ‘It’s all one big joke to you, Cooper. Maybe I should’ve punched you harder. Knock some sense into you.’
Cooper stared at Granger. He hadn’t seen him since the airport in Scottsdale. After that he’d headed out, taking the five-hundred-mile journey back to the ranch just outside Telluride, Colorado.
He felt the vein in his temple throbbing as he clenched his jaw. A habit. Not a particularly bad one as his habits went. Absentmindedly, he rubbed the side of his head as he got out of the truck. Without bothering or wanting or needing to look at Granger, Cooper said, ‘I can think of a lot of things to call the last couple of weeks, but a joke sure isn’t one of them.’
‘And that’s my fault, is it? You’re a mess, Cooper. A total bag of mess. But like always you expect the rest of us to clear up. Look at your eyes… I see you’re back popping those pills.’
Cooper shot him a stare. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. So let’s just drop it, hey?’
‘You’d like that wouldn’t you, Cooper? Drop everything. That should be your middle name.’
Cooper shook his head and kicked up the bleached white gravel with his desert boots and felt the warm Arizona winds whip up the dusty ground and maybe it was just tiredness and maybe it was his own shame but he was pissed. Real pissed with what Granger had just said.
‘I don’t want anyone to clear up my mess. I never have done, never will do, and you of all people know that.’
‘Really? Try telling that to Levi and Maddie. They clear up your mess that often, sometimes I get them mixed up with the garbage men.’
‘Real funny, Granger. Look…’
‘Save it, Cooper, it’ll just turn out to be bull anyway. Oh, and Maddie told me the news about you two. I should say I’m sorry, but I’m not. She deserves better.’
‘I know that, but I’d appreciate it if you’d keep out of my business.’
Granger sniffed loudly, emphasizing the words he was about to say. ‘I know you would but when it’s going to affect my business then it becomes my business.’
‘Nothing’s going to affect anything. What is it with everyone, huh? Just because Maddie and I are having… I don’t know… difficulties, that doesn’t mean it’s going to alter anything.’
Granger’s blue eyes cut Cooper a stare. ‘I wouldn’t call leaving somebody difficulties. And if you think it’s going to be a bed of roses, you clearly don’t know women.’
‘So everyone likes to tell me, and maybe you guys are right, I don’t know women. But I do know Maddie, and I know she and I are going to be fine with it all. I’ll sort it out.’
‘You think you’ve got it all sewn up don’t you Cooper? The sun always shines out of your ass.’
Cooper chewed the inside of his cheek. Even before Eritrea, he and Granger had been at loggerheads. Seemed like nothing had changed. Hell, he doubted it ever would. And he knew it wasn’t just because he’d screwed up with the last assignment. No, Granger’s problem was with him and him alone.
There’d always been the snipes, and until recently he’d left it. Letting it ride. Always. Usually. Not this time. ‘What’s your goddamn problem, Granger? The fact that you didn’t get the plane back from Eritrea, or the fact that it was me that didn’t get the plane back?’
‘You know what my problem is, Cooper, so why don’t you do us all a favor and grow up.’
Maddie, who’d now come outside into Onyx’s parking lot, stood back and watched. Listened.
Cooper could feel the anger rising up. Something he felt a lot these days. He said, ‘You want me gone, Granger? Just say the word, and you won’t see me again.’
Granger, at five foot three, stood a foot shorter than Cooper, though his height had never hindered him in any way; taking on one or three men at a time, if justified, was all the same to him. His face was gnarled and ruddy. And Cooper thought he was doing a good impression of a man who hated him.
‘What I want, Cooper, is for you to take responsibility. Be accountable.’
‘Like you, Granger?’
‘Hey, I can live with the decisions I’ve made. Question is, can you?’
‘Why don’t you say what’s really bugging you, Granger. Let’s clear the air once and for all.’
Maddie cut in. ‘Hey guys, this is stupid. We’re all on the same side here… Tom, leave it.’
Although once, a long time ago, he’d had the ability not to be goaded into arguments, that was no longer the case. She knew it. He knew it. Hell, and so did Granger. ‘No, Maddie, I want to hear what Granger has to say.’
Not backing down either, Granger stepped forward. Real close. ‘You can’t deal with what I’ve got to say.’
‘Guys! Come on! Stop this… Tom, for God’s sake, come on! Please.’ Maddie signalled to Levi to do something other than just stand there. Cooper ignored anything other than what Granger was saying to him.
‘Try me. Come on.’
The bitterness was entrenched in Granger’s words. Shovelled on like tar on a highway. ‘Try you? Yeah? Is that what you want? Well let’s see. You want to talk about responsibility, then why don’t we talk about just that. Let’s talk about my daughter, Ellie, and let’s talk about why you actually went to Eritrea and how it’s connected. And why when I’d given someone else the job, and I’d specifically told you not to go there, you still did.’
Cooper crashed into silence. Span there fast. Stared ahead, not seeing Levi’s concerned expression. Not seeing Maddie’s unease. All he could see was the moment. All he could hear was Ellie shouting his name. All he…
Jesus… No… No… He shook himself both physically and mentally out of the mesmeric memory. He wasn’t going to go there for anyone. Couldn’t go there. He stared at Granger, then looked at Levi and felt the strain in his chest. He touched his back pocket of his blue jeans feeling the blister packet of pills. Somehow comforting.
‘Granger, what are you talking about?’
Dax Granger swung round. ‘Hasn’t he told you Maddison?’
‘Tom, what’s he talking about?’
Granger pushed. And hard. ‘Tell them, Cooper. Tell them what this is all about.’
‘It’s not about anything. I just thought I’d be better doing the job than the other guy.’
‘Without consulting me?’
Cooper said, ‘Yeah.’
Granger, not intrinsically cruel but beyond angry, pushed again. Tone bitter. ‘Oh come on, Cooper, don’t give me that. That’s not how things work. You and I both know why this is happening again, why you’ve decided to throw away everything you’ve built over the past few years. Come on, tell your wife why. Surely she deserves to know doesn’t she?’
‘Shut up, Granger.’
‘Why can’t you be like the rest of us, hey? Having to deal with things even though we don’t want to. You don’t see me reaching for the funny pills or running amok or putting my wife and friend in jeopardy! But then, you know what I think. I think it’s all just one big excuse to be that prize jackass which is always bursting to get out of you… Go on, tell them. Tell them why you’ve begun to search again.’
Cooper knew he sounded like a broken man. ‘Please, Granger, don’t do this.’
Maddie’s face was a picture of anguish and pain and hurt. ‘Will someone tell me what the hell this is about?’
‘You want to tell her?’
Cooper spoke in a controlled whisper. A mixture of pain and steely resolve.
‘Leave it. Okay…? Just leave it. You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ll give you anything, Granger. But I can’t give you that… So yeah, you’re right. I can’t deal with it. I can’t talk about your daughter.’
9
Going straight across to the cooler in the kitchen of Onyx, Cooper took out a small carton of juice which he drank down thirstily. Threw a non-alc beer to Levi.
He felt as refreshe
d as he could after taking an ice cold shower which, after the showdown with Granger, was much needed. He’d put on clean clothes. His usual attire of jeans and a gray marl long sleeved top. Splashed some of Granger’s aftershave on and combed his hair and brushed his teeth and checked his hair again and then finally took a pill. Xanax. Just to get him through. Then he’d taken another one. Just to make sure.
‘You okay?’ asked Levi.
‘Yep.’
‘You wanna talk?’
‘Nope.’
‘Was Granger right? You been having to take some pills again?’
Cooper didn’t bother answering. Wondered if it was because he didn’t want to lie.
‘You were bad on them before, Coop… Have the flashbacks come back? You not sleeping again? Is the old injury playing up? You think you need to go and see that shrink again? I mean, I could come with you and all. And if…’
‘If what?’
‘Well, if you need me, I’m here.’
Cooper shrugged. ‘I’m fine. But thanks.’
Levi gave him that look. The look that said he didn’t quite believe him, but he carried on talking anyway. ‘Dorothy wants to see you. She wants you to come to dinner on Sunday… maybe you could bring somebody…’ He paused, before twisting his hands like a kid does. Innocence was sure as hell being feigned. ‘… Maybe Maddie? Maybe it would be good for you two just to sit down and talk? You know, on neutral ground.’
Cooper raised his eyebrows, shooting Levi a warning glance not to go there. He grabbed another juice. Headed to the office he shared with the others without saying another word.
10
Walking out into the familiar cream and orange hallway filled with photos of various planes and boats always made Cooper feel he’d stepped back into the seventies. It got him every time. He didn’t mind, hell he could live with anything, but Maddie, she’d whined like a tomcat. She’d campaigned to Granger to get it changed, even bringing in samples and color charts. But each time it came to the place being re-decorated, Granger would select the same old colors and same old photos and Maddie’s complaints would start all over again.
‘Tom.’
Cooper turned round. Readying himself for the showdown. Justified. Inevitable.
‘Whatever it is you’re going to say, Maddie, you’re right and I’m sorry but everyone now thinks you’ve left me, so it’s kind of a bit awkward explaining you haven’t.’
‘What are you talking about? You think I didn’t mean it? What is wrong with you? Are you really that arrogant, or is it you just don’t care enough to see and believe how I feel?’
‘Look, I’ll take Cora out for some ice-cream, make up for missing her birthday party.’
It was a mix between a laugh and a snort but he got it. The derision was coming hard and fast. Straight his way.
‘You really don’t get it do you? It’s over. I’m not coming back. I can’t.’
A punch in the stomach would’ve been preferable. ‘And Cora? How do you think it’s going to affect her me not being around?’
‘Tom, you’re never around anyway… You don’t deserve that little girl, but for some unknown reason she idolizes you. Only thing she talks about. Well, you and Mr. Crawley.’
‘Mr. Crawley?’
‘Her caterpillar. I think it’s dead but you know Cora, she’s insisting on keeping it in a cookie jar… Anyway, look, I don’t want to talk about Mr. Crawley. I just want to know in what universe do you think a scoop of Rocky Road is going to make up for letting her down on her birthday?’
The pounding throb above Cooper’s eyes sent pain waves down the bridge of his nose. Like a jackhammer breaking through granite stone. He knew what it was. Good old fashioned stress. ‘She can be the judge of that.’
‘She’s just a little girl, Tom.’
‘I know what she is… Listen, I was wrong, I should’ve showed up.’
‘Yes you should, but there’s nothing you can do about that now. But you can tell me about Granger. What was he talking about? What was he trying to get you to say?’
Partly to stall for time and find some plausibility, because Maddie was like kryptonite when it came to annihilating his bullshit, and partly because he had a damn crick at the base of his neck, he shrugged. ‘Who knows, Granger makes his own rules up as he goes along.’
‘Don’t lie to me Tom. I’m not stupid.’
Cornered, Cooper did what he was certain felt like second nature to most men: changed the subject. Spun it the hell round. Put the heat on her instead.
‘Look, Maddie, do you think this is going to work? Us. Here. Together like this. Is this how it’s going to be from now on?’
By Cooper’s reckoning it was at least twenty-five seconds before Maddie spoke, give or take the last three seconds which she spent cutting her eyes at him.
‘Seriously? You of all people ask me that? In case it escaped your notice I’m not just a wife. I’m a mom. I’m a damn good pilot and investigator. I’ve got over fifteen years of military experience behind me, and I work hard at my job. So if you think for one moment that just because you and I aren’t together any longer I’ll suddenly fall apart, become neurotic, unreliable and unprofessional, and bring my home life to work… If that’s what you think, Tom, then you don’t know women at all.’
11
Grateful to get away from any more conversation, Cooper headed to the office, musing and bitching and ruminating on how, in hindsight, life inside the Eritrean prison seemed so much less stressful than coming back home. He stopped short of the doorway.
‘Well, I’ll be damned. If it ain’t Thomas J. Cooper!’ Austin Rosedale Young sat back in the brown leather chair, his feet clad in a pair of garish blue cowboy boots to match his sky blue suit and shirt and tie. His strong Texan accent and over-tanned skin, along with his visibly dyed black hair, gave out an inaccurate, foppish impression. The truth, though, was that Austin Rosedale Young was at one time America’s top sniper. A natural born killer. A man who’d earned almost mythical status amongst his fellow SEALS.
Cooper spoke. Just. Not really wanting to hear the answer from his one-time nemesis. Not really wanting to hear anything from the man at all. ‘What the hell are you doing here?’
Young, or Rosedale as he liked to be called, opened his arms in an exuberant manner. Chewed on the oversized, unlit cigar as he delighted in telling him exactly that.
‘I thought they would’ve told you, Thomas. I work here now. Retirement just doesn’t suit me.’
Cooper said nothing. He’d known Rosedale for a long time. Too long. Their paths had met on several occasions, working together several years ago.
When Rosedale had left the Navy, he’d gone to work in the Central Intelligence Agency, employed in their Clandestine Service. It was the front-line source of clandestine information on critical international developments, working on everything from terrorism, weapons of mass destruction, to military and political issues which challenged the deepest resources of personal intelligence, self-reliance and responsibility. And Austin Rosedale Young had been what they called the perfect candidate.
Cooper blew out his cheeks and moved over to the far side of the office. Threw his empty juice carton with an overhead shot in the bin. Hole in one. Turned to look at Rosedale. And even though the guy’s elaborate and crazy screwball ways covered the fact he was a highly intelligent, highly skilled, ruthless individual, Cooper had no intention of working with him again. Ever. He also had no intention of letting him sit at his desk. ‘That’s my desk, Rosedale… Move.’
‘Not any more it isn’t, sugar.’
Cooper moved nearer. Much nearer. So near he could feel the heat rising from Rosedale’s skin and smell the mix of cigar and toothpaste and a cologne which should’ve been left on the shelf. ‘I repeat, that’s my desk.’
Rosedale picked up the brass name plate from the desk. He read it out, his Texan drawl flavoring the mockery. ‘Thomas J. Cooper… Now tell me, Thomas, I’ve forgotten, what does t
he J stand for?’
‘Put that the hell down… Now.’
Rosedale swept his feet off the desk and leant forward, his face lighting up. ‘Hell no, Thomas, I’m sensing something here… Tell me what the J stands for.’
The scorn for the man, Cooper felt it right to the heart of him. ‘You’re not sensing anything Rosedale, you’re just being a jackass. So I’ll tell you again. Leave it.’
‘And what if I don’t, Thomas J? What exactly are you going to do about it?’
‘You sound like a kid, Rosedale. Why don’t you just leave it like he asked you to?’
Maddie, who’d just come in to the office, walked up to Rosedale, snatching the brass name plate out of his hands.
Rosedale grinned. ‘Now that ain’t a nice thing to do, Miss Maddison.’
Maddie looked at him with disdain. ‘Grow up.’
Winking at her, Rosedale sprang his six foot five body from the chair, standing tall on another two inches of cowboy boot. He smiled down at Cooper who didn’t bother meeting his stare.
‘I’m one of the few men you gotta look up to hey, Thomas?’
‘Go to hell.’
‘Not until you tell me what the J is for.’
‘Drop it Rosedale. Just let it go.’
‘Oh, you mean like you let things go? There’s a funny thing. You of all people telling me to let something go.’
Cooper breathed deeply. Stared down at the floor. Watched the tiny spider disappear under the door. Let the seconds tick by. Then eventually he lifted his head. Locked eyes with Rosedale and said,
‘Don’t cross that line with me, Rosedale.’
‘You know in Texas they’ve got a saying, big hat and no cattle. And that’s exactly what I think you are, Thomas, all talk and no action.’
Rosedale poked Cooper. Jabbed his finger right into his chest. Mistake. Big one.
‘You’ve just crossed the line.’
With rapid speed, channelling his anger from Granger and Maddie, Cooper threw a double punch. Caught Rosedale tight on his mouth and followed it through with a body shot to the ribs. He quickly ducked, curving his body out of the way to avoid Rosedale’s counter attack, before he powered a left scissor punch right to his jaw.