His Temptation, Her Secret

by Barbara Dunlop

  “Done,” TJ said. He motioned for Sage to go first.

  She didn’t understand.

  “I’m buying,” he told her. “We have to eat.”

  “Fluids,” Dr. Stannis said. “For both of you.” She gave Sage a pointed look.

  They’d had a few conversations about the fact that Sage had lost some weight these past weeks.

  “Does Cabernet Sauvignon count?” TJ asked with a teasing smile.

  “Only in moderation.” Dr. Stannis waved her pen. “Water’s better. Tea would be perfect.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “And make sure Sage eats.”

  TJ looked down at Sage with a curious expression. “Anything in particular?”

  “Calories.”

  “Lasagna it is,” he said.

  “I don’t like lasagna.” Sage did like lasagna, but she was still thrown off balance by TJ’s determination to move Eli to a different hospital. And she resented the way he was organizing her dinner.

  “Then order something else,” he said easily. “They’ll have a menu.”

  “I’m aware of how restaurants work.”

  “Good. Then you won’t mind taking advantage of one. You are a little thin.”

  “I’m not thin.” She was conveniently ignoring the fact that her favorite jeans were sagging at her waist.

  “I didn’t mean it as an insult.”

  “Your opinion means nothing to me.”

  Dr. Stannis broke in. “And I will see you two later.”

  “Thank you, Doctor.” TJ gave her hand a warm shake with both of his.

  Sage wished she could hug the doctor, but she settled for shaking as well. “Thank you so much.”

  “You’re most welcome.” Dr. Stannis’s sincerity was unquestionable. “Go take care of yourself for a couple of hours. Eli is in excellent hands.”

  “I know,” Sage said.

  She had complete confidence in the staff at St. Bea’s. There wasn’t a reason in the world for TJ to move Eli anywhere else.

  * * *

  The Red Grill turned out to have a Southwest flair, with bright colors and lively music in the dining room. The hostess seated them on the patio, which was quieter. She quickly brought them glasses of iced tea and tortilla chips with guacamole.

  The pain in TJ’s hip was getting worse, but he didn’t want to muddle his thinking with any more painkillers. He pushed the tortilla chips toward Sage, but she shook her head.

  “Doctor’s orders,” he said.

  She gave him a glare but took a chip and bit down on it.

  TJ had so many things to ask her, he barely knew where to start. “Do you have any pictures of Eli?”

  She set the chip on her side plate. “I do.” She dug into her small bag and retrieved her phone, opening the photo app.

  When she handed it over, TJ got the first look at his infant son. The pain in his hip faded as he took in the smiling, cherubic baby.

  “How old is he here?” TJ asked.

  “Six months in that first one.”

  He stared at the picture for a long time.

  “Are you ready to order?” the waitress interrupted.

  “We’ll need a few minutes,” Sage answered for them.

  TJ flipped to the next picture. Toddler Eli was standing in a yard, petting a black Lab that was taller than him.

  “You have a dog?” TJ asked.

  “No. They’re not allowed in our basement suite. Beaumont belonged to a friend. Eli loves animals. He talked me into a gerbil once.”

  “What happened?”

  “He played with it every day, but it was kind of sad. It just wasn’t the same as having a dog to walk and play fetch with. Eventually, the gerbil died and, well, we weren’t really supposed to have it in the first place. And I didn’t want to get evicted, so we never got another.”

  “A boy deserves a dog.” TJ could remember how badly he’d wanted a dog when he was a boy.

  “A boy deserves a roof over his head,” Sage retorted.

  TJ looked up from the screen to see her annoyed expression. “I didn’t mean that as a criticism.”

  “I tried, TJ.”

  “I know you did. I’m sure you did. I don’t understand why you didn’t contact me.”

  “Well, I’m not going to explain it all over again.”

  The waitress arrived once more.

  “I’ll take a beef burrito,” TJ said, not wanting to bother reading the menu and not caring what he ate.

  “The same,” Sage said, and the waitress departed.

  “You didn’t look at the menu,” he noted.

  “Just so long as it’s not lasagna.”

  He couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. He flipped to the next picture.

  Eli was in front of a birthday cake covered in blue icing and decorated with mini balloons. There were three candles on the cake, and he was grinning ear to ear.

  “His birthday?” TJ asked, although it was pretty obvious.

  Sage nodded.

  Eli had dark, slightly wavy hair, just like TJ’s. There was a familiarity in his eyes and in his slightly crooked smile. TJ’s chest was tight. His heart was expanding to fill every crack and crevice behind his rib cage.

  He had a son—his own son. He’d missed so much of Eli’s life.

  He moved to the next picture, but it blurred in front of his eyes. “I deserve a chance to catch up.”

  She looked like she wanted to argue. But then she looked like she didn’t have it in her.

  “I know,” she said. “You can see him as much as you want. I won’t try to stop you.”

  “I want him at Highside Hospital.”

  This time, she shook her head, and he could see the steel determination in her eyes. “That’s not possible. He needs me. He needs me there every day.”

  “You can stay in Whiskey Bay.” The problem was hardly insurmountable.

  “I have a job, TJ. I can appreciate this is a huge adjustment for you, but—”

  “Adjustment? You call what I’m going through an adjustment?” He shifted in his chair, and pain shot through his hip. He struggled to keep his expression neutral.

  “You’re in pain,” she said. “Should we go back to the hospital?”

  “No!” He lowered his voice. “We should eat. Starving yourself isn’t going to help Eli.”

  Her jaw clenched tight. “Are you going to give me parenting advice?”

  “I’m not.” He leaned forward to make his point. “Because I have no idea what it’s like to be a parent, thanks to you.”

  “I just apologized.”

  “You think that cuts it?” He realized his tone was growing louder, and he forced himself to take a beat. They were both raw and tired, and sniping at each other wasn’t going to help anything.

  Their burritos arrived, along with condiments and utensils.

  He slid her phone back across the table. “Thank you for showing me the pictures.”

  She looked like she wanted to say something more, but she stayed silent.

  “You should eat,” he told her.

  She gave a jerky nod.

  He flagged down the waitress. “Can I get a shot of tequila?”

  “Painkillers would work better,” Sage said.

  “It’s not for the pain.”

  They ate in silence for a while.

  Despite everything, TJ couldn’t help but think it was good she was eating something. He might not agree with her decision to keep him in the dark, but she’d obviously been through a lot taking care of a sick child all on her own.

  Then it occurred to him that she might not be on her own. She didn’t wear a wedding ring, and her last name remained the same, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t in a relationship, or even married for that ma
tter.

  “Are you single?” he asked bluntly.

  Her eyes widened in obvious surprise.

  “Is there a man, somebody in your and Eli’s lives?” he elaborated. It would certainly give her a good reason for keeping TJ out of the picture.

  “No. There’s nobody. It’s just me and Eli.” There was an echo of loneliness in the statement.

  “Your family?”

  He didn’t know if she had siblings. He didn’t recall any from high school. But it was a pretty big place, and he certainly hadn’t known the entire student body.

  “My parents died a few years ago. Not that they were in the picture anyway.”

  “Did they live out of state?”

  “No. They cut me out of their lives. They didn’t want me to keep Eli.”

  TJ’s horror was instant.

  “They wanted me to give him up for adoption.”

  “Why?”

  “They weren’t willing to help me with him and they didn’t think I could do it on my own. But they were wrong.” Her gaze was firm on him. “I walked out of the house at six months pregnant and never saw them again.”

  She should have contacted him. Why on earth hadn’t she contacted him?

  “It was the right choice,” she continued. “For all our struggles, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

  He couldn’t seem to stop himself. “I wish you’d done some things different.”

  Her knuckles appeared white as she gripped her knife and fork. “I can’t go back in time, TJ.”

  “I know.” He’d lost his appetite, but he forced himself to keep eating.

  They could only go forward. And for that, he needed to be at his strongest. If there was anything on earth he could do to help Eli, he was going to do it.

  * * *

  Sage fought the urge to take TJ’s hand. It was an irrational urge, since their relationship for the past twenty-four hours could best be described as an armed truce. But her nerves were strung tight as they waited for Dr. Stannis to bring them Eli’s test results.

  The guest chairs in Dr. Stannis’s office were jade-green leather. They were cushioned and comfortable. The room was decorated in muted earth tones, a painting here, some pottery there. It didn’t look sterile, not like a waiting room. She couldn’t help but imagine it was designed to keep people calm, people like her who were waiting for life-and-death results, or who were hearing the worst kind of news.

  “Hey.” TJ’s tone was soft, and he was the one who took her hand.

  She turned to look at him.

  “Don’t do that to yourself,” he said.

  He gave her hand a squeeze, which inexplicably made her feel better.

  “It’s going to be all good,” he said.

  “You don’t know that.” Her voice was dry, high-pitched. She tried to swallow, but she couldn’t.

  He came out of the chair, on one knee in front of her, taking both her hands in his. “Positive thoughts,” he said, his voice as gentle as she’d ever heard.

  She managed a nod, but she was terrified to be optimistic, as if karma would reach out and smack her if she dared to hope.

  The door opened, and Dr. Stannis entered the room. “I won’t keep you in suspense,” she said briskly, breezing toward her desk. “The results are what we were hoping for. There are no signs of rejection or infection at this point.”

  Sage thought she might faint with relief.

  Before she could move, TJ’s arms were around her. He drew her to her feet and hugged her tight.

  “Yes,” his deep voice hissed next to her ear. “Yes.”

  His body was strong and solid against hers, warm and welcoming. She was suddenly transported back ten years, to their dance, their kiss, the acute and unexplainable feeling she’d had of coming home, like she belonged in TJ’s arms, like she’d been waiting her whole life to be held by him.

  She hadn’t been able to let go then, and she didn’t want to let go now. It was a frightening feeling, and she tried to pull back.

  TJ didn’t seem to want to let her go either. He held on tight for long seconds before breaking his grip.

  “He did it,” he said.

  “You did it,” Sage said.

  At the moment, she didn’t care who TJ was, what he’d done in the past or what he might do in the future. He’d saved her son, and she owed him everything.

  “He needs to get his strength back,” Dr. Stannis said.

  Sage felt a dampness on her cheek and swiped at it with the back of her hand. She hadn’t even realized she was crying.

  “And we’ll have to carefully monitor his T cells. Infection is still a very serious concern.” Dr. Stannis dropped into her high-backed chair. “But at this point, all signs are positive.”

  TJ eased Sage back into her chair and then took his own.

  “How long until he can come home?” she asked. She couldn’t wait to have Eli back in his own bed.

  “Normally, we’d wait a week,” Dr. Stannis said. “But in Eli’s case, I’m recommending two.”

  Sage’s euphoria disappeared. “Something is wrong?”

  “The chemo was very hard on him. And we’ve already fought one infection. He’s young, and his body has been through a lot.”

  “Are you sure that’s all?”

  “I would tell you if there was anything else.”

  “What about another hospital?” TJ asked.

  Sage wanted to shout no.

  Dr. Stannis switched her attention to TJ. “What do you mean?”

  “Highside Hospital, on the coast.”

  “They’re top-notch. There’s no doubt about that,” Dr. Stannis said.

  “I’m affiliated with them,” TJ said. “They’re world renowned. I want to do everything possible to support his recovery.”

  Dr. Stannis looked at Sage. “Medically speaking, yes, he could be moved there.”

  “He’d have a private room,” TJ said to Sage. “It would be quieter for him while he recovered. Their equipment is state-of-the-art. If Eli came down with an infection or any other complication, he’d be in the best possible facility.”

  Sage’s hands began to shake. “He wouldn’t have his mother.”

  “You’d come with him. They have a residential facility for parents. You can stay there the whole time free of charge.”

  “I have a job,” Sage protested. There was no way she could take another two weeks off. “After he’s out, once he’s better, the two of you can—”

  “This isn’t about me seeing him.” TJ’s tone was firm. “This is about Eli getting the best care. The nurse-to-patient ratio in Highside is the lowest in the country. They have a pediatric ICU, an extensive on-site laboratory system, and they’re an oncology teaching facility.”

  Dr. Stannis rose to her feet. “I’ll leave the two of you to talk.”

  “One more question,” TJ said to Dr. Stannis.

  “Of course.”

  “If Eli was your son, would you choose St. Bea’s or Highside?”

  Dr. Stannis’s hesitation and her guilty look in Sage’s direction answered the question.

  “I have to be honest,” Dr. Stannis said. “Highside is unrivaled for patient care and outcomes.”

  “Thank you,” TJ said.

  Dr. Stannis left the office.

  “I have to work while he’s recovering,” Sage said to TJ. “I can’t do that from Whiskey Bay.” Surely a mother’s love counted for something.

  “Take some time off. Don’t worry about money, I can—”

  “It’s not just the money.” She was embarrassed that her voice cracked. “I’ve missed so much time lately. They’re trying to be patient with me, but they’re going to have to replace me if I don’t get back there soon.”

  “Where do you work?”

  S
he found herself raising her chin. “The Eastway Community Center. I’m their event planner.”

  She wasn’t embarrassed by her job. She did meaningful work that helped people in need. But she knew it was nothing compared to what TJ had accomplished since high school.

  “Maybe I can talk to them.”

  “Oh, no, you don’t.” The idea was offensive. She was an adult. She didn’t need some tall, male financial mogul in an expensive suit to advocate on her behalf. “Eli’s home is here. His mother is here. My life is here.”

  “And my life is—” TJ suddenly stopped talking. He rocked back in his chair, looking annoyed with himself. “Fine. I’ll let it drop.”

  “Thank you.” She was grateful he’d seen the light.

  “Right now, we should check on Eli.”

  She was all for that. “Yes.” She nodded rapidly. “Yes.”

  TJ came to his feet. “We can talk about it some more later.”

  “Wait. What?” She didn’t want to revisit an argument she’d just won.

  “I haven’t changed my mind. But I’m not unreasonable.”

  “Not changing your mind is being unreasonable.” She stood.

  “Not if I change yours.”

  “You won’t change mine.” Of that, she was positive. If that was what he was waiting for, she was home free. She headed for the door.

  It was a ten-minute walk from Dr. Stannis’s office to the pediatrics wing. It was almost dinner, and Sage was hoping to coax Eli to eat something, maybe a little Jell-O. He liked red the best.

  She couldn’t wait for the day when his appetite returned, then his strength and his energy. She couldn’t wait for the day when he was an ordinary little boy all over again.

  Three

  Once again, TJ was struck by how small and pale Eli looked in the stark white hospital bed. But at least this time he was sitting up. He had a comic book in his lap, and he was slowly turning the pages.

  He heard them come in, and he looked up.

  “Hi, Mom,” he said in a quiet voice.

  “Hello, sweetheart.” Sage approached his bed and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

  There were three other beds in the room. Two were occupied. One with a young girl whose leg was in traction due to a car accident, another by a boy who TJ had learned had his appendix taken out and was in the process of being discharged.