DADDY AT THE ALTAR

by Claire St. Rose

  And this was hitting her, hard.

  “We’ll get her back,” I growled. These were the times when I knew that my soul was black. There were times when I was willing to kill for someone and not regret it. There were times when I knew that the difference between Taylor and me was the fact that he had been strengthened by his circumstances, while I had been shaped by them.

  When I looked at him, he looked as calm as I had felt at first, but his eyes had gone darker and his lips were pressed in a thin line, and I knew that he was angry, too.

  Never as angry as I could get, but angry still, and there was enough danger in that. We were related after all.

  “We’ll get her back,” I said again. Just as I said it, a text came through with an address. Emily lifted her phone to show me the screen, and I snatched it out of her hand. I knew the neighborhood, but not the address. I knew the sender, but not her intentions. It all threatened to push me over the edge so that my rage consumed me. I bit it back. I wouldn’t lose it in front of Emily.

  Ruby and I had been together for a lot longer than I’d been with anyone else. We’d been friends for even longer than that—Ruby was the only person that dated from before my father had left us. She knew what all of this was about. She understood who we were in a way other people didn’t.

  She was almost family for God’s sake.

  How did someone who was so close to us betray us like that? I glanced at Taylor again, and I wasn’t sure what he was thinking, but I imagined that he felt the same. She’d been like an older sister to him. She’d been there when he’d taken that leggy chick to the prom. She’d been there to take photos of the three of us. She’d been there to help us out when running a home had been hell.

  Ruby had been there to pick up the pieces of Taylor’s ego again after the prom chick had dumped him. She’d done everything a sister, or even a mom, would do.

  And then we’d started dating, and I’d thought that I would have with Ruby what Taylor and I had never had with our parents.

  Until she’d pulled psycho out of her ass and I couldn’t live with her complications anymore. And even then, we’d stayed business partners because having Ruby a part of our lives in at least some way was better than not having her at all. She was a part of it all, even if she was crazy, even if we weren’t dating, even if there were times I couldn’t stand her. It was as simple as that.

  At least, it used to be. She’d just made it infinitely more difficult to have her around.

  “What are we going to do?” Emily asked, and her voice was as brittle as I imagined she was on the inside. The pain in her voice pulled me out of the history lesson I was giving myself and back into the present where everything had gone wrong. The tone in Emily’s voice asked me to help her make it all right again, even if her words didn’t. And I was going to do that.

  “I’m going to go get her back,” I said, this time with more control and more of a plan. I was going to get Sarah back because she was important to Emily. I was going to make sure that nothing happened to anyone else I cared about, and I was going to make sure that none of this ever happened again.

  Even if it killed me.

  It was surprising how simple that conclusion was. And how dead serious I was about it, too. Even if it killed me.

  “What do you mean… you’re going to get her back?” Emily asked.

  I shook my head. “I’m not taking you with me.” It was pretty damn simple when it came down to it. She opened her mouth to argue, and I was surprised she even wanted to go down that road.

  “But she said we had to go together.”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Do I need to remind you that she nearly killed you? I’m not going to risk that happening again.” I couldn’t risk losing her again. I’d nearly lost too many people lately, and it was chewing at my nerves.

  Emily looked at me, and she was angry. It was the same kind of anger that made me realize that the first time it hadn’t really been anger at all. This anger was the dangerous kind, her eyes so dark they looked black. I knew why she was so good at her job. She demanded respect. Under any other circumstance, I would have given it to her.

  Just not tonight. This was about her safety, and I wasn’t going to consciously throw her into the lion’s den. She didn’t understand Ruby and what she could be capable of, but I did. Which meant I was calling the shots.

  “I’m not letting anything happen to you,” I said.

  She took a deep breath and it was shaky despite her steady hands and her wide-legged stance that showed so much power for a woman. She was sexy as hell, standing there, commanding authority, insisting that I hear her out. Any man who wanted to be with her had to understand that she was a force to be reckoned with. Maybe that was why we fit together so well. She wouldn’t put up with my shit and would respect her strength rather than feel intimidated by it.

  “I’m not going to sit this one out. Sarah needs us. I can’t….” Her voice broke, and it was a surprise. I didn’t think she’d wanted to cry. She swallowed down the sob, and when she spoke again, her voice was as steady as it always was. The only evidence that she’d nearly buckled at all was the surprised expression on Taylor’s face when I glanced at him. No doubt he was registering her strength, too. “I can’t lose her. She’s my friend. I’m going with you.”

  I shook my head.

  “I’m sorry, Emily. You’re not. I’m going alone.”

  “What?” Taylor said. He’d stayed out of it until now, not saying anything.

  “What’s wrong with you?” I asked, looking up at him. His hands were balled in fists, and he’d come off the bar he’d been leaning against.

  “You’re not even going to take me as backup?” I hadn’t expected him to fight me on this, too. Surely they understood that I had to do this alone?

  “Where the fuck do you get off?” I snapped, forgetting myself and swearing in front of Emily. “You’re not coming near this. You were a lot closer to death than even she was.”

  I pointed at Emily. She slapped my hand away, and I glared at her.

  “I’m not going to just sit here while you go and save my date,” Taylor said.

  I rolled my eyes. “This is the worst time to be a hero, Taylor.”

  “Don’t tell me who to be.”

  His voice was cold, his eyes even more so. He reminded me so much of the defiant teenager that dad had left behind that my heart constricted. And at the same time, there was so little of the boy left and so much of the man he’d become. I couldn’t say I recognized him at all. I shook my head, trying to sift through the myriad of emotions that had come crashing down on me. I had to keep a straight head. I couldn’t afford to lose either of them. And if I wanted to keep them, I had to keep them safe. I didn’t have the strength to deal with them in danger. Or dead.

  “You’re not coming with me,” I said to him. “And neither is Emily. I know Ruby…and I know what she’s capable of, and if anything happened to either of you…”

  I stopped talking before my voice broke. I couldn’t imagine losing either of them. Taylor had always been everything to me. But Emily? She’d become very important to me in a very short time. There was no way I was going to put either of them in danger.

  “You’re not my father,” Taylor spat, and the words cut me so deep I had to gasp for breath.

  “What?” I asked. I felt cold.

  “I know you had to take care of me after he left, and I’m grateful, but you’re not my dad and you don’t get to tell me what I need to do with my life. You can’t tell me to stay home as if I’m some teenager you’re grounding while you’re riding around on your noble steed, saving everyone’s life. I’m going with you to get her back, and there’s nothing you can say about it.”

  “The hell there isn’t,” I said. I took a step closer to him. I’d always been a little taller than he was, and he was always intimidated by it. I used my size now to physically bully him into submission. My little brother had always taken a step back. He wasn’t a
fighter. This was the reason I needed to keep him safe.

  This time, though, he didn’t back down. In fact, he rose up on the balls of his feet so that his nose was in line with mine, and we stood chest-on-chest, staring each other down. I was right. There was nothing of the boy left, and the man standing in front of me now was someone I hardly recognized. When had he grown up? Was this what parents felt like when their kids starting thinking for themselves…as if they’d lost a part of them?

  “Guys, please,” Emily pleaded. “We can’t fight now.”

  She was right. We had to stand together—now more than ever.

  “Stand down, Taylor,” I said.

  “Make me.” Obviously he didn’t have the same idea of unity on this one, and it pissed me off. This was bigger than him and me.

  The defiance on his face was something to be proud of. If only dad could see him now, the accomplished, powerful man he’d become. But that was the downside of leaving, right? You never got to see your family make it—despite your mistakes.

  I shoved Taylor backward hard enough that he stumbled and had to regain his balance. It pissed him off even more. He came at me, leaning forward, charging, and for a moment, I thought things were going to get physical. We were going to have it out properly for the first time in our lives. I knew I was going to hate it, but we needed this. Men always did.

  Instead of doing something, he stopped in front of me, so close we nearly touched.

  “Come on,” I said. “Hit me.” I looked him straight at the eye, challenging him to finish what he’d started.

  He eyed my jaw, and I saw him clench a fist. I braced myself, waiting for the swing. I’d taught him how to hit. I’d taught him how to defend himself. I was about to see how well it had paid off. I waited, but it didn’t come.

  “Come on, Taylor,” I said. “You want to go out and save lives, show me you can.”

  Taylor’s eyes were deep and dark blue like the ocean, and for a moment, I really thought he was going to let his anger win out. But then he exhaled, and all that tension left his body. His hands relaxed. He took a step back. The soft side of him had won over. The compassionate, loyal side. This was why I couldn’t take him into the fray with me. Because he had a heart, and more than likely, the people we would be facing wouldn’t have any such thing. I doubted Ruby would be alone.

  Taylor wouldn’t make it because he would back down.

  “I thought so,” I said, not showing how relieved I was he hadn’t done it. I would have hated to hit him back, and I wouldn’t have been able to back down because I’d have to make a point. “Go home, Taylor. I’ll call you when it’s over.”

  He opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind and stormed past Emily and out toward the back door, which just opened.

  A big man with a balding head and a tight blazer popped his head into the room. When he saw Taylor coming, he stepped aside and let the guy steamroll past. He looked after Taylor for a moment before turning his head back to us.

  “We okay to open?” he asked. “The crowds are getting restless.”

  “Oh no,” Emily said and put her hand to her forehead like she was checking for a fever. “We can’t open now, not after this.”

  The bouncer frowned, and Emily looked at me. “I’ll deal with it,” she said after a moment. She walked toward the bouncer and called him into the office. They were alone for a couple of minutes. I strained to hear what they were saying, but they kept their voices low. I paced around the room. A moment later, he came out of the office, glanced at me, and left.

  “What did you say to him?” I asked when Emily came out of the office. She looked grim.

  “That Sarah fell very ill and we’d taken her to the hospital,” she said. “He’s going to make the crowds go away. We’ll have to redo the opening later when everything is sorted out.”

  She took a deep breath and let it out with a shudder. She looked like she was coming undone.

  It wasn’t the time or the place, but I couldn’t help but smile. For someone who had her life straight, she had a great knack for knowing how to deal with things without getting the police involved. The more I got to know her, the more I saw things about her that I really liked. In fact, I couldn’t think of anything I didn’t like about her by now.

  “That was clever,” I said.

  She put her hands on her hips and shook her head. “I hate lying,” she said. “And I hate that this is happening.”

  “I know.” I sighed. “I can’t let you come with me.”

  We were back to that. No matter how much she was on top of things, I hadn’t changed my mind.

  Emily shook her head. “I don’t care what you can and can’t do. Sarah is my friend. I’ve lost a friend before because I did nothing…and I’m not letting that happen again. I won’t be able to live with the guilt if something happened to her and I didn’t at least try.”

  I looked at her, so strong and confident that she almost glowed. But there was an underlying sadness to her tonight, and I was starting to think that maybe this was a lot more personal to her than just the fact that it was Sarah. It was personal to me because it was Ruby, but to Emily it seemed like it was on a whole different level.

  “Is there no way I can persuade you not to come with me?” I asked. I knew what the answer was before she responded.

  She shook her head. I thought for a second and finally nodded.

  “Okay. I guess you can come along.” I hated myself for saying it. I was going to regret it. Not only was I going to have to concentrate on keeping another body alive besides my own, but also I was terrified that something would happen to her and she would leave me behind to pick up the pieces. If something happened to her, I would be crippled for life. Imagine that. A bastard like me capable of that kind of emotion.

  She came toward me, wrapped her arms around me and hugged me, burying her face in my chest. A shudder went through her body, and I knew that this was a lot bigger than just a friend getting kidnapped. I didn’t ask. This was a matter of pride, and I would let her have it in private.

  Instead I held her at arm’s length. It was time to get practical. We could be emotional later when it wouldn’t compromise us or get us killed. Emotions always put you in danger.

  “We can’t go home. It’s not safe. We have to get clothes, and then we’ll stay at a hotel for the night.”

  “We’re not going to get her now?”

  I shook my head. “If I know Ruby at all, she’s going to want to wait until daylight. She doesn’t play games at night. I think she knows too much about the kinds of creatures that can hide in the dark.” Creatures like me.

  Emily frowned. “I don’t understand.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said. “Trust me.”

  She nodded and sighed again with a shudder. We got in Emily’s car and drove back to the apartment. It felt empty and desolate without Sarah, and I couldn’t help but feel guilty about everything that had happened. If I’d left Emily alone after she’d treated Taylor, I doubted this would have happened to her. I had no way of insuring that she was going to be safe, and I’d brought so much hell into her life that it was hard to imagine why she still wanted to be with me.

  The only consolation I had was the fact that she was a doctor. She could keep a level head under pressure, and if it came down to it, she could help out if things got critical. I tried to tell myself that those things made up for the fact that she was coming along, and I tried to swallow down my fear.

  The honest truth was I was terrified. I didn’t know how I was going to keep her safe. I’d always thought I knew Ruby, but this was a new level of crazy, and the truth was, I had no idea what she was capable of. No matter what I’d told Taylor. If she was the one distributing the drug—and I was pretty damn sure by now it was her—then she had a whole network of people working for her under the radar.

  And she’d managed to give my boys the slip, which meant she knew was she was doing on a whole new level.

&nbs
p; I already had all my things together. Emily didn’t waste time scraping together the bare necessities for a night away. While she packed the last things, I pulled out my phone and opened the contacts list. I hovered my thumb over Taylor’s number, but ended up putting the phone back again.

  I felt terrible about the fight we’d had. The truth was he’d nailed me—front and center—with that little slice of truth about me not being his dad. And he was right, too. I wasn’t. I wasn’t there to raise him anymore. But I was there to protect him. He had no idea that this was more selfish than anything else; I wasn’t doing this to save him. I was doing it to save me. I needed him around, and if anything happened to him, I would never forgive myself.