Remembrance

by SJ Moquin

  They spent the night in a tree, tied to a limb with only crumbs and a few berries she’d found as supper. Down below them the rover trail sat clear of trees in full sight. Anytime she worried, her eyes would find it and she’d remind herself how close to home they were.

  Home.

  Strange how that tiny square house which looked so similar to the others in the colony was home now. It was where her mom was, where memories were being made. She never thought of the ship as home until it was time to leave it. Then she worried she’d miss the cold, metal atrocity. In a way she did, but nothing like she’d miss this, she thought glancing into the darkened forest. Varax was her home now, just as Earth had been her grandparents’ when they were children. She felt the pang in her chest, finally realizing how they must have felt to set off through the stars with no direction or idea of where they’d find another home. All they’d done to ensure the next generation and the next and however many next generations to come, could view this beautiful world.

  Raiden tugged her back, letting her use him as a pillow where he pressed against the trunk of the tree. She relaxed, peace washing over her despite the dangers that lurked in the darkness. A sense of kinship with Varax grew within her with the new sensation. Not only was she safe, but so was Raiden. And they were here together. The warm thoughts swirled in her mind as she drifted off to sleep high above the forest floor, wrapped in the one person’s arms she thought she’d never feel again.

  Chapter Ten

  Safety

  The novelty of the sun’s warmth flooding through her skin after the cavern and the cool night in a tree had now worn off with the blistering afternoon heat. Seasons on Varax didn’t ebb into one another. They were, and then they weren’t. One week the heat of summer would scorch the fields and crops, and the next a blustery autumn had blown in. The only sign of the upcoming changes was with the nights. Just like with the past couple weeks, each night was becoming slightly cooler, signaling the change that would pounce on them soon.

  Gwelle and Raiden had followed the rover path they’d found throughout the day, with no sign of wildlife or trouble. But it wasn’t a main trail. Six hours of trudging through the heat with no signs of rovers, patrols, or an expi had begun to take their toll. Her shoulders drooped, feet shifting slower as the afternoon sun beat down on their backs.

  “Here, eat this.” Raiden handed her a small portion of a nutrition bar they’d had tucked in each pack.

  Gwelle waved it away, not bothering with words. What was she supposed to say, that she’d seen him sneaking his ration back into the bag to offer to her later? Raiden thought he was being sneaky, that he was being kind. Her stomach twisted inside out at the thoughtful gesture, not just from the hunger, but from trying to figure out why he would do that for her as well.

  The past couple days taught her that life was too short, and that the unexpected could happen at any moment. What did that mean for the grudge she’d held so tight? She and Raiden hadn’t spoken about their conversation on the night of the dire lyx attack. Simply trying to stay alive and put one foot in front of her had been as far as her thoughts traveled, but now they were getting closer to home, she found her eyes drawn to the tall young man at her side. He cradled the laser rifle in his hands as he walked tall and proud, his shoulders stiff and back straight. She knew the heat had to be just as searing for him, but he didn’t show it. Instead, he kept a vigilant watch around them as they walked the dusty path.

  Gwelle blurted the first words that popped in her mind. “You know it’s not your fault.”

  Raiden dragged his eyes off the tree line on their right and leveled that emerald gaze on her. A flicker of sadness, anger maybe, and something else showed in their depths before he was back to being the proud soldier. “I shouldn’t have left camp. I shouldn’t have dragged you out to that field…”

  “I’m glad you did.” He looked at her like she’d lost her mind. “Raiden, if we hadn’t been in that field, we could have ended up like the others. Like Oweins, Kana and Rix. You saved us.”

  “You don’t know Kana and Rix are gone,” he murmured.

  “No, we don’t. But I do know if we’d been in camp, we would have had a bigger chance of being injured or worse. I wouldn’t be here without you.”

  Gwelle’s lips turned up. She wanted him to understand her words, wanted him to know without her having to speak it that this was the truce he’d needed. She couldn’t pretend to stay mad at him after this. His face softened, small lines creased around his eyes as a sad smile framed his lips. They needed no other words. Not now. The journey had taken a toll on both of them. They were happy to continue in companionable silence after reaching the unspoken reconciliation.

  A couple hours later, they reached the main rover trail which would lead into Nova-Zera. Gwelle’s feet protested every step, stumbling over the bumpy dirt road. She glanced at the dark-haired boy beside her and realized he hadn’t escaped unscathed either. Just as many bruises and cuts covered his arms and legs as hers. Not once had he complained, though. He’d been too busy making sure she returned home safely, a nagging voice echoed in her head.

  The thought of home revived her. Warm food, a bath, and clean sheets. And she might as well enjoy them, seeing as her mother would probably never let her out of her sight again. Funny how that didn’t sound like such a bad thought when a couple days ago running for her life, she’d worried she’d never see her only family member again.

  Her heart picked up pace when Raiden’s hand clutched hers with a squeeze, pointing ahead. They’d just crested a hill, and there in the valley below was Nova-Zera. Only a wide-open field of tall summer grasses separated them from the main gate. She saw the large compound and her pace was renewed. They jogged, cutting the distance between them and the gate shorter each minute that passed. By the time they’d neared the gate, her legs ached and her shoulders were stiff, but she pressed on as the guards gathered around the opening, parting to let them through.

  Word of their arrival must have spread in the several minutes it took them to cross the field. A crowd of citizens, elders, and protectors gathered as they stepped through the tall, wide gates into the safety of their settlement. Raiden still held her hand and didn’t let go even when Commander Corsin parted the crowd, stepping up to them.

  “We thought you were…” The older man’s words trailed off as he quickly covered a flicker of emotion in his steely grey eyes. She’d sworn he’d looked shocked the moment he stepped through the crowd of onlookers, but now he was all business as usual. “It’s good to see you, Vargas, Gwelle.”

  “Have the others reported in? Kana? Rix?”

  Raiden didn’t mention Oweins. A lump grew in Gwelle’s throat. She knew they would report everything that happened soon. The vision of blood and a broken body flashed in her mind as she swayed on her feet.

  “Let’s continue this in the command center,” the older man replied, not answering Raiden’s question.

  “That can wait, can’t it, Commander?”

  Gwelle spun just in time to see her mom push through the circle of onlookers filling the staging area just inside the gates. Releasing Raiden’s hand, she wrapped her mom in a hug both forgetting the crowd for a moment and the fact she wasn’t her mom’s little girl aboard Deliverance anymore. But that didn’t matter to either. Nia pulled back with a smile, turning back to the commander.

  “I believe both need rest and medical attention before you begin the debriefing, don’t you?” The shorter woman stood tall as she asked in a very non-negotiating way exactly what she planned on doing, with or without the commander’s permission. Corsin raked a hand through his hair, a smile tugging on his lips as he shrugged at her mom.

  “Of course, Nia. I was just excited to hear from the kids.” Gwelle should have taken offense at being called a kid. She knew Raiden probably did. He’d been a protector for two years now, but she was happy for once to let her mom handle this. “I’ll see you both in my office in the morning. Get some foo
d and rest until then. And, Vargas,” he called out as they nodded, turning to leave. “Don’t forget protocol. I’ll expect a full report turned in as well.”

  “Of course, sir.” Raiden snapped to attention before following Nia and Gwelle through the colony.

  The busy marketplace slowed to a buzz as they passed, but she didn’t mind. Everyone in Nova-Zera had probably already heard of their failed expedition. News spread fast through the colony once it started. No one was saying a word about Kana or Rix. She’d have to remember to ask her mom later, she thought as the medical building came into view.

  They reached the clinic and her sweet mother disappeared. Nia Airda switched from mom to doctor, quickly looking over both patients with the help of her staff. The small partition added privacy around the bio-bed. It was the most alone she’d felt in days. Her mother swiped and punched digits into the holoscreen that contained her medical stats. They flashed above the bio-bed for what felt like an eternity. Her mother tutted a moment before swiping some more. Finally, Nia waved a hand in front of the floating graphics and they all disappeared.

  “So, am I okay to go home, doc?” Gwelle teased when her mom didn’t look at her right away but appeared to be entering something into the small plex in her hand.

  Scrunching her nose at the playful moniker from her daughter, Nia shook her head. “I’d really like to keep both of you here a bit longer and get some nutrients into you first. But that won’t happen without an argument, huh?”

  “I promise to eat. Lots. And I’ll drink that horrible herb stuff you swear by.”

  Nia tapped a slender finger on the plex screen. “What do you think, Raiden? I know you’re listening.”

  Raiden popped a head around the partition, not even pretending to still be laying down on the next bio-bed like he should have been. “I’ll see her home, ma’am, and I’ll make sure she eats. She has a point. We both could use some rest before tomorrow.”

  Nia nodded with a smile. Figures, Gwelle thought. Her mother always had a soft spot for Raiden as a little boy and kept his favorite sweets on hand. He’d been just as much at home with them as with his uncle Jefferson after his parents passed away during an outbreak. The walk home was shorter than expected after the hiking they’d done together the past couple days. Too soon, she was staring up into his deep green eyes as her hand hung on the door latch, waiting to turn it and put the past few days behind her. But did she want to?

  So much happened that was the stuff of nightmares. Horrible, dark masses would plague her, haunt her, whether her eyes remained opened or closed. In the midst of the horror though were soft, tender moments her heart had only dreamed of. For too long she had harbored feelings for the boy in front of her, feelings beyond the friendship, beyond the bond of being children of Deliverance they had shared growing up.

  Did she dare let those feelings take root, burst forth from the desolate place she’d pushed them when she felt Raiden betrayed her? Did she risk him not returning those feelings? Her stomach twisted with thoughts as she dragged her eyes away. She didn’t have the answers and couldn’t risk more pain. Not right now. So saying a quick goodbye, she ducked into the safety of her home. She’d face everything tomorrow, she promised herself, including Raiden Vargas.

  ***

  The words echoed in her head as she listened to Commander Corsin repeat himself once more.

  “A routine patrol found Oweins’ body four days ago. They radioed in the coordinates before a search was made for you two along with the other botanists, Kana and Rix, but no one has been found.”

  Four days? How was that even possible? It had taken them the best part of two days to walk here. The attack had only been three days ago. Gwelle looked from Corsin to Raiden, who stood to one side of the commander’s desk with his hands folded behind his back. Corsin frowned at her, his eyes unreadable. But Raiden, he was another story. His features were an open book to her. Sadness filled his expression and something else—a glint of steel deep in those emerald pools. Like when he used to dare her as kids to do something outrageous, something they both knew would end up getting them both punished. Even though her stomach churned she said nothing about the discrepancy in time. Instead, she asked about her colleagues.

  “You mean, Kana and Rix are still out there?”

  “Gwelle…” Corsin began, his eyes softening to almost a look of pity before hardening again. “We called off rescue attempts in that region this morning due to the high risk of more attacks. We can only hope they’ve found a safe place or are on their way here even now.”

  Before either could reply, she nodded, reading into his words. No one expected them to return, any of them. That’s what all the hushed whispers had been about.

  “I see. If that’s all, I’d like to get by the lab this morning.” The words barely escaped her lips as grief welled up inside her. She wasn’t close friends with Kana and Rix, not like Lark and Knox, but they were friends. They’d worked together for a year now. The news was hard to hear. She wondered if they had informed Wyn.

  “By all means. I understand,” Corsin said, rising as she did. “Oh, just one more thing for my notes. You two made it back relatively fast by cutting across this ridgeline, correct?” He flicked a map up on the holoscreen over his desk and pointed to the small range they’d actually crossed under.

  Her eyes flit to Raiden, whose eyes again held that conspiratorial look she’d seen so often as kids. He gave her an almost imperceivable nod.

  “That’s right. We traveled fast, putting as much distance between us and the camp as we could.” Gwelle wasn’t sure why she’d gone along with Raiden’s story. Maybe it was because he’d covered for her once.

  “Good. That’s all I need, so I’ll let you two get back to your duties.” Corsin smiled, clicking information on the screen in front of him before they’d even left the building.

  Raiden’s boots echoed on the steps behind her as they walked down the flight of stairs together. It wasn’t until they’d fallen in beside each other as they walked through the settlement in the early morning light that he finally spoke. “Thank you for not saying anything.”

  “You’re welcome. But I don’t understand. Four days? How? And why didn’t you put the cave in your report?”

  Raiden shrugged slightly. “There was something about that cave. I don’t know how to explain it. You can’t tell me you didn’t sense it too.”

  Gwelle remembered the glowing lights, the voices when she passed out, the magic of the place. “I understand. It feels wrong, though. You know, not being upfront… considering…” Her thoughts flickered to Kana and Rix who hadn’t returned.

  “I know. But that ridge is already mapped. Even the creek we saw.”

  “But the cave isn’t?”

  “No.”

  “I don’t see how we could lose two days and not know it. Do you?”

  “I don’t either.” His words were barely above a whisper.

  “Strange.”

  “Until I figure out why, I would rather keep this between us.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “What makes you think I’m going to do something?” Gwelle quirked her brows up at his question, causing a spontaneous laugh to bubble from his lips. She’d missed his laugh. “I guess, not much has changed, huh?”

  “It doesn’t look like it,” Gwelle said, remembering all the trouble they got into aboard Deliverance when they’d sneak into secured areas or out of school together. Had it really been so long? Standing here laughing with him, it felt to her like only yesterday. An awkward silence filled the air on the echo of the laugh. After a moment, she moved back to continue her trek to the lab alone.

  “Meet me tonight?” His words sent chills scampering up her spine.

  Did she dare read anything into his spontaneous question? “Alright. Bayard’s at eight?”

  She played it cool when he agreed with a large smile, giving him a nod and walking away at a normal pace all while her heart pounded an erratic
rhythm inside her chest trying to make her run, jump or even squeal. She let the grin remain on her face until she reached the lab doors. The events of the past few days washed away the momentary giddiness with a tidal wave of guilt. She pushed into the building, letting the warmth of Raiden’s departing smile slip from her. How could she be happy about seeing Raiden tonight when Kana and Rix may never return?

  Chapter Eleven

  Getting Back to Normal

  The building was quiet. Somewhere on the other side, past the partitions dividing the science departments she heard whispering, tapping, and clicking on a screen. Someone worked deeper in the building. But here, all was silent. There were a few older botanists concentrating, heads bent over a workstation near the front. Gwelle sighed. She wasn’t sure what she expected, but the air inside the science lab felt oppressive. Perhaps her mom had been right wanting her to rest today instead of coming into the lab.

  “Gwelle!” Her head swung up at the older man’s voice. Wyn Maxon beelined straight for her, his blue eyes sparkling. “I… I didn’t expect you today.”

  “I wanted to check in. Have you heard?” He was already shaking his head before she finished speaking.

  “No, but I’ll keep you updated the minute we hear anything. Your mom had the specimens sent over from your packs yesterday.”

  She vaguely remembered dropping the bags, heavy laden with plants, as they stepped inside the gates. She’d risked all to grab the plants while they scurried through the destroyed camp before she and Raiden fled through the dark forest.

  “Did any survive?”

  “Most actually.” Wyn paused, his smile slipping a little before he continued. “You did good, Gwelle.” There was a melancholy in Wyn’s smile as he praised her.