The MX Book of New Sherlock Holmes Stories - Part IX

by Marcum, David;

  SOUND EFFECT:KNOCK ON DOOR

  WATSON:That’s probably him now. Couldn’t have timed it better. (CALLING) Come in!

  SOUND EFFECT:DOOR OPEN

  WATSON:Taylor, my dear chap. How are you?

  SOUND EFFECT:DOOR CLOSE

  TAYLOR:(FADING IN) (ABOUT FORTY FIVE) Hello, Watson. It’s very good to see you again.

  WATSON:This is my old friend, Sherlock Holmes.

  HOLMES:How d’you do, Major Taylor.

  TAYLOR:(SURPRISED) Sherlock Holmes! Just the man I want to see. This is splendid.

  WATSON:Let me take your coat... that’s it. And now settle down and make yourself comfortable. Hear anything of the old crowd?

  TAYLOR:A few of them.

  WATSON:Taylor and I were in the same regiment, you know, Holmes.

  HOLMES:(DRYLY) Yes, you told me that just now, Watson.

  WATSON:What happened to “Grumpy” Jackson?

  TAYLOR:He’s down at Bournemouth - grumpier than ever.

  WATSON:And Geoffrey Hill? Ever hear of him?

  TAYLOR:Married. Very unhappily, I’m told.

  WATSON:How about Ronnie Russell?

  TAYLOR:He broke his neck last year - hunting.

  WATSON:I’m sorry to hear that - though I never did like the fella. Ever see “Pinky Little”?

  TAYLOR:No. (CHANGING HIS TONE) Watson, old chap, I don’t want to seem rude, but d’you mind if we postpone the reminiscences until later?

  HOLMES:Just what I was about to suggest myself, sir.

  WATSON:(MUMBLING) Only natural that when a couple of old army men get together they should...

  HOLMES:(INTERRUPTING) Just what is your problem, Major Taylor?

  TAYLOR:I’m afraid for my life, Mr. Holmes.

  HOLMES:Why?

  TAYLOR:Perhaps I’d better tell you the story from the beginning.

  HOLMES:That would be the most logical starting place, sir.

  TAYLOR:Well... Twenty years ago - or more - half-a-dozen of us were stationed on a pretty dangerous Indian outpost. We were discussing the chances of us all getting out of the place alive. Somebody - I forget who - produced an insurance advertisement, and suggested we all take out a policy. The proceeds of each policy were to go in to a trust fund which would eventually be paid to the last survivor. I suppose it was rather a schoolboy-ish idea. In fact we called ourselves, as I remember, “The Doomed Sextette” or something equally melodramatic.

  HOLMES:How many of the original half-dozen of you are still alive?

  TAYLOR:Only four. I’d practically forgotten the whole thing - until one of our members dropped dead of heart failure on a Scottish golf course last year. I was reminded of the agreement when I received a notification from the lawyers handling the trust fund that the insurance money had been duly credited.

  HOLMES:Hmm. Who was the other member who died?

  TAYLOR:Jerry Marshall. He was murdered in his flat six months ago here in London.

  HOLMES:Jerry Marshall? Yes, I remember the case. The police discovered nothing. So there are four of you left, eh? Who are the other three?

  TAYLOR:Oddly enough, they’re all comparative neighbours of mine. I live in Virginia Water, you know. Bob Allen, the lawyer, has a house nearby. And Doctor Glendinning, another member of the “Doomed Sextette”, has a practice at Egham, which is only an hour’s drive from my place.

  HOLMES:That accounts for three of you. How about the fourth?

  TAYLOR:Colonel Robinson. And as it happens, he’s staying with Doctor Glendinning for the summer. Yesterday he was out shooting and narrowly escaped death when his gun exploded. It had been tampered with. Mr. Holmes, I feel that it’s liable to be my turn next. I was hoping, perhaps, that you and Watson would come down and stay a few days with me in Virginia Water, and keep an eye on things?

  HOLMES:What d’you say, Watson? A few days in the country might do you the world of good, you know.

  WATSON:Yes. I’d like to go down there very much.

  HOLMES:Good. This is quite like old times. Pack an overnight bag, old chap. Oh - perhaps you had better scribble a line to your wife, and then we’ll be on our way to Virginia Water.

  MUSIC:BRIDGE

  SOUND EFFECT:CARRIAGE ON GRAVEL

  WATSON:‘Pon my soul, Taylor, you don’t give us much chance to look at your place. We just have time to unpack our bags and then you whisk us off in your carriage to call on Doctor Glendinning.

  TAYLOR:It was your friend’s idea, Watson.

  HOLMES:Why waste time, old fellow? Major Taylor feels that his life is in danger... and I think that he has every reason to believe it. Two other people concerned - Doctor Glendinning and his guest, Colonel Robinson, are practically neighbors... and remember that the Colonel narrowly escaped death yesterday when his gun exploded. It seems obvious that we should waste no time in calling on them.

  SOUND EFFECT:CARRIAGE STARTING TO SLOW DOWN

  TAYLOR:Here’s Glendinning’s house now.

  WATSON:Charming. His practice must be a lot more remunerative than mine. I couldn’t afford a place like this.

  TAYLOR:He has a private income. Ah, there he is now. (RAISING HIS VOICE) Hello, Glendinning!

  SOUND EFFECT:CARRIAGE DRAWING TO STOP

  GLENDINNING:(OFF) Taylor! Good to see you. (FADING IN) (ABOUT FIFTY, PLEASANT) And you’ve brought visitors. Fine. Perhaps we can have a four at bridge.

  SOUND EFFECT:CARRIAGE DOOR OPEN. CRUNCH OF FEET ON GRAVEL

  TAYLOR:Glendinning... I want to introduce Mr. Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson.

  AD LIB: HOW D’YOU DO’S

  SOUND EFFECT:DOOR CLOSE

  TAYLOR:They came down with me from London today.

  GLENDINNING:Sherlock Holmes? The great detective?

  HOLMES:The adjective is yours, Doctor Glendinning.

  GLENDINNING:Well, Taylor, you threatened to call in a detective, but I didn’t know you’d aim as high as this. Come on. Let’s go into the house.

  SOUND EFFECT:FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL

  TAYLOR:By the way Glendinning, Watson’s an old army medico too.

  GLENDINNING:Really? What regiment?

  WATSON:Fifth Northumberland Fusiliers.

  GLENDINNING:Is that so. Were you with ’em in India?

  WATSON:Yes, I was wounded in the Battle of Maiwand.

  GLENDINNING:Bad luck. Seriously?

  WATSON:Shattered the clavicle and grazed the sub-clavian artery.

  GLENDINNING:You’re lucky to be alive. Well, here we are...

  SOUND EFFECT:DOOR OPEN AND CLOSE

  GLENDINNING:Let’s go in to the library... I suppose you know the story of the “Doomed Sextette”, Mr. Holmes?

  SOUND EFFECT:DOOR CLOSE

  HOLMES:Yes, and the more recent developments to the story. That’s why I’m down here.

  WATSON:What d’you think about it yourself, Glendinning?

  GLEDINNING:(CHUCKLING) As I told Taylor yesterday, I think he’s becoming an old woman. Two of us dead, and one has an accident, and he thinks we’re all marked men!

  TAYLOR:How d’you account for Robinson’s gun exploding yesterday?

  GLENDINNING:I don’t. But even if it has been tampered with - that doesn’t mean to say it’s anything to do with our agreement years ago.

  HOLMES:I wonder if I might examine that gun?

  GLENDINNING:Certainly. It’s over there in that corner.

  HOLMES:(FADING) Thank you.

  WATSON:By the way, where is Colonel Robinson now?

  GLENDINNING:Out rabbit shooting. He should be back any minute.

  TAYLOR:Seems to me that after yesterday’s experience, he ought to be very careful. Some
thing might happen again.

  GLENDINNING:Rubbish, Taylor. He is carrying a .22. What could happen to him with that?

  HOLMES:(OFF A LITTLE) Interesting. Very interesting.

  WATSON:What have you found out, Holmes?

  HOLMES:(FADING IN) Doctor Glendinning... is Colonel Robinson a keen sportsman? Someone that would cherish a fine weapon like this?

  GLENDINNING:He’s a good shot, but I don’t know that he’s too particular about his guns.

  TAYLOR:Come now, Glendinning. You know he worships them. Why, Mr. Holmes?

  HOLMES:The barrel of this gun is badly scarred. No one that had any love of guns could let it get this way. Look at it.

  WATSON:(AFTER A MOMENT) By Jove, yes. What could have caused those marks?

  HOLMES:From a cursory examination, I should say that someone has tampered with the cartridges and substituted a steel plug for the charge of bird shot. The plug jammed in the choke barrel, causing the gun to explode.

  TAYLOR:You see, Glendinning? What did I tell you?

  HOLMES:Where did these cartridges come from, Doctor Glendinning?

  GLENDINNING:I imagine Robinson bought ’em in the village.

  HOLMES:I wonder if there are any more of the left.

  GLENDINNING:I’ll soon find out. (FADING) He keeps his tackle in the hall cupboard.

  WATSON:Holmes, if there was a steel plug in the barrel - why isn’t it there now?

  HOLMES:It must have been extracted, subsequently.

  TAYLOR:But who would have had an opportunity to do that?

  HOLMES:That, Mr. Taylor, is what we have to find out. (RAISING HIS VOICE) Any luck, Doctor Glendinning?

  GLENDINNING:(FADING IN) Here’s the box... It’s empty. Robison must have filled his pockets yesterday with the last of ’em.

  HOLMES:Hmm. How did Colonel Robinson arrive back here yesterday, after the accident?

  GLENDINNING:Taylor found him wandering along the road - with a slight case of shock - and drove him back here.

  TAYLOR:That’s right, Mr. Holmes. And when we got here, he put the gun in that corner where you just found it.

  WATSON:Could anyone else have had access to it since?

  GLENDINNING:A dozen people. (LAUGHING) I never lock doors - even when my housekeeper goes down to the village to market. Patients and friends simply walk in and wait for me to come back if I’m out.

  HOLMES:So that anyone could have had an opportunity of reaching the gun and removing the incriminating evidence?

  GLENDINNING:Certainly.

  WATSON:And yet, why didn’t Colonel Robinson notice the steel plug himself - before it was removed?

  HOLMES:A very pertinent question, old chap. Why, indeed?

  GLENDINNING:Remember, he was suffering from mild shock.

  SOUND EFFECT:SUDDEN POUNDING ON DOOR, OFF

  GLENDINNING:(FADING) Now who the devil’s that?

  SOUND EFFECT:DOOR OPEN, OFF

  GLENDINNING:(OFF A LITTLE) Yes, O’Flaherty, what is it?

  O’FLAHERTY:(ELDERLY IRISHMAN. EXCITED) It’s Colonel Robinson, sorr. I just found him down by the brook. He’s dead!

  GLENDINNING:Dead?

  O’FLAHERTY:That he is, sorr. You’d better all come with me right away. Shot through the head, he is... and if you ask me, sorr, it looks as if he committed suicide!

  MUSIC:BRIDGE

  HOLMES:Suicide, eh? I think not. You’ll notice that the .22 bullet hole in his head entered above the right ear and came out under the left eye.

  WATSON:I don’t see what that proves.

  HOLMES:He’s still clutching the rifle, Watson. If it had been suicide, how could he have shot himself from that angle?

  TAYLOR:Why not, Mr. Holmes?

  HOLMES:Mr. Taylor, the usual gun suicide pulls the trigger with his thumb.

  GLENDINNING:Surely it’s perfectly possible to fire a gun into your own head with a normal trigger grip, Mr. Holmes.

  HOLMES:It is, Doctor Glendinning - from certain positions - but it would be next to impossible to aim and fire a shot slightly downwards and from the rear.

  WATSON:In any case, why would a suicide choose such an awkward position?

  HOLMES:Precisely, Watson. Also you’ll observe there are no powder burns on the scalp, and it would not be possible to hold a gun far enough away to avoid that.

  GLENDINNING:Then what do you think, Mr. Holmes?

  HOLMES:(OFF A LITTLE) That we should examine the surrounding underbrush... Ahh... (FADING IN) Look here, gentlemen.

  WATSON:It’s only a piece of string.

  HOLMES:But let us follow it... across the gully here... up the bank... and where does it leads us to?

  WATSON:A tree! (EXCITEDLY) Good Lord! A .22 rifle - lashed to the branches - and aimed at where poor Robinson fell.

  HOLMES:Exactly. And this end of the string is still attached to the trigger.

  TAYLOR:You mean it was a deliberate trap, Mr. Holmes?

  HOLMES:Yes - and a more than usually subtle one. You see, the string was stretched across the path over there. It was thin enough to be broken by anyone walking into it. As the string broke, it would dislodge the weight here, which would in turn pull the trigger on this rifle. A much superior method to the rather obvious trip-wire attached directly to the trigger. A fine string such as this would recoil like a whip when snapped, and might easily remain undiscovered.

  WATSON:Good Lord, Holmes! You mean it’s...

  HOLMES:I mean, old chap, that it’s a clear case of murder!

  MUSIC:UP STRONG TO MIDDLE CURTAIN

  FORMAN:Doctor Watson’s story will continue in just a few seconds - which gives me time to ask you if you’ve ever tasted Petri California Sauterne. You know, Petri Sauterne is a white wine - a very famous white wine with a very rare delicate flavour... a flavour that comes right from the heart of luscious, hand-picked grapes. The next time you try to stretch your ration points by serving chicken or fish... don’t forget to get a bottle of Petri Sauterne. Boy, that Petri Sauterne was just made to go with chicken and all kinds of seafood. Like all Petri wines... Petri Sauterne can make even the simplest wartime meal taste like a feast. It’s a fact - you can’t go wrong with a Petri wine!

  MUSIC:“SCOTCH POEM”

  FORMAN:And now, back to tonight’s new Sherlock Holmes adventure. The great detective and his friend Doctor Watson have been called in to investigate the strange adventure of “The Doomed Sextette” - a secret society of English army officers. Two members have already died when Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are brought onto the scene. A few hours later, a third member is murdered. As we rejoin our story, the famous pair are discussing the strange affair with Doctor Glendinning and Major Taylor, (FADING) two of the three remaining survivors...

  WATSON:You know, Holmes, I still don’t understand why the murderer didn’t remove all the evidence of his crime - the string, the fixed rifle, and so on.

  TAYLOR:Just what I was going to say, Mr. Holmes.

  HOLMES:He had no opportunity. Anyway, it might easily have remained undetected for a long time if I hadn’t become suspicious and looked for it. A man-trap of this kind could easily have been set up several hours - or even days - in advance, and of course alibis won’t mean much in this case. By the way, you and Doctor Glendinning examined Colonel Robinson’s body - in your opinion, how long had he been dead?

  WATSON:About three hours, eh, Glendinning?

  GLENDINNING:Between three or four.

  WATSON:What I don’t understand gentlemen, is how the murderer knew that Colonel Robinson would pass along that particular path.

  HOLMES:A question I was just about to ask myself, Watson. Can either of you gentlemen answer it?

  TAYLOR:I think I c
an answer that. We all had dinner with the Squire last night. He owns the woods where Robinson was shot.

  GLENDINNING:That’s right, Taylor. I remember now. Robinson asked his permission to go rabbit shooting today, and the Squire told him the best spot was down by the brook - the place where we found his body.

  HOLMES:I see. Who was present at the dinner?

  TAYLOR:Apart from myself and Glendinning here, there was Robinson, of course... And Bob Allen, and...

  WATSON:Bob Allen? He’s the lawyer, isn’t he - the other remaining member of your “Doomed Sextette”?

  GLENDINNING:That’s right, Watson.

  HOLMES:So that the three remaining members of the pact were all present when Colonel Robinson was told the best place to go rabbit shooting today. Was anyone else present at the dinner?

  TAYLOR:Yes. Half-a-dozen other people. It was quite a large party.

  SOUND EFFECT:KNOCKING ON DOOR, OFF

  GLENDINNING:(CALLING) Come in! The door’s open.

  SOUND EFFECT:DOOR OPEN AND CLOSE, OFF

  TAYLOR:(SOTTO VOCE) Talk of the devil! Here’s Bob Allen now.

  ALLEN:(FADING IN) (AGITATEDLY) I just heard the news about poor Robinson and rushed right over here. What happened?

  GLENDINNING:He was murdered, Allen.

  ALLEN:Murdered?

  TAYLOR:Yes. These two gentlemen are Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson... Bob Allen.

  AD LIB: HOW D’YOU DO’S

  ALLEN:Robinson murdered, you say? How?

  HOLMES:He was shot with a .22 rifle fired by means of a trap. By the way, Mr. Allen, where were you about four hours ago?

  ALLEN:I went out for a long walk through the woods this afternoon. Why?

  HOLMES:I was just curious. (TO HIMSELF) Through the woods, eh?

  GLENDINNING:What do you think we ought to do now, Holmes? I’ve already sent for the police.

  WATSON:Seems to me that with the three remaining survivors of this pact all together like this, we should take advantage of the occasion and discuss the whole thing.

  TAYLOR:I quite agree. (SUDDENLY) How about all having dinner at my house tonight? I’ll organise one of those red hot curries we used to have in the old days... and Sherlock Holmes and Watson can solve the case for us. What d’you say?