Good Karma

by Donya Lynne

  Her lips tingled…as well as other parts of her body.

  “If you wear that brooch, you want more of this…” He drew her bottom lip into his mouth, let his tongue play against her flesh, then nipped it with his teeth before releasing it. “But I need you to understand that’s all I can give. I can give you pleasure, I can give you fun, but I can’t give you forever. I can only give you the months I have while I’m here. I don’t want there to be any misunderstanding about that. The last thing I want is to mislead or hurt you.” He fell silent as if letting the weight of his words sink in.

  She fell numb to everything but his arms around her and the way bolts of lightning zinged through her body. Mark delivered a kiss that not only sizzled but also scorched, short-circuiting her ability to reason.

  With a blink, Karma’s breath hitched as he closed his lips over hers again. She moaned into his mouth as the most incredible sensation of warmth spilled through her belly, into private places as yet undiscovered. Her thighs felt like hot lead. Damn, but Mark could turn up the heat.

  She nodded against his mouth. She understood. She understood implicitly.

  He broke away again, but stayed buried within her personal space, his arms around her, his forehead nudging hers. “I like you, Karma. You’re sweet and innocent. I like that about you.” He kissed her again. “But I also like that you seem to be a woman ready for more. A woman who wants to lose some of her innocence. I can give you that. I can teach you how to embrace your sensuality but maintain the innocence that makes you so alluring.” He paused and stared at her mouth. “So damned alluring.” He inhaled slowly then blew the breath out his nose on a contemplative moan. “I can help you discover what you like, what excites you, how to touch and be touched, and what turns you on.

  What he was doing this very second was a good place to start, because she was definitely turned on.

  He spoke quietly and more slowly than usual, as if each word held meaning. “I want to be the man who unleashes the sensual, sexual woman locked inside you. But only if you want me to. If it’s too much and you’re still worried about anyone finding out, I understand, and I won’t ask again.” He pressed his palm to his chest, right over his heart. “I promise. But I think we could have quite an adventure together. That’s what I’m offering. An adventure. An opportunity for you to learn that you are good with men. You’ve just not been with the right men. What you need is a new perspective. I want to give you that.”

  She shivered, words escaping her. But then Mark had said enough to keep her mind busy the rest of the week.

  He nodded toward her hand, still closed over the brooch. “That will be my answer. Wear that tomorrow, and I’ll know you want to move forward. Don’t wear it, and I’ll never bring it up again.” He paused. “But if you say yes, you need to know that I have rules.”

  “Rules?”

  Kindness and understanding washed over his features. “Just a couple. Nothing crazy.” He offered a tender smile. “Like I said, I’m not looking for forever, Karma. I’m not a forever kind of man. No commitments. Nothing serious. I want to make sure you know that up-front so there aren’t any surprises.” His gaze dropped to Karma’s mouth then lifted to her eyes again. “But I am loyal. And if you say yes, you’ll be the only woman in my life until after my work at Solar is done, and I’ll want to be the only man in yours. Understood?”

  No problem there. It wasn’t like men were lining up to take her out. “Yes.”

  He brushed his thumb over the corner of her mouth. “I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t stress that enough. That’s not my intent. I want to spend time with you, make you feel good, feel good in the process, have fun with you, but I can’t commit to more than that.”

  “I understand.” She had never expected him to marry her, and she appreciated knowing now where he stood rather than finding out later.

  He held her a moment longer, and then he sighed, smiled, and let her go. “So think about it, and let me know tomorrow.” He tapped her hand with his index finger. “And just so you know, there’s no harm in saying no. If you really aren’t comfortable with the idea of spending time together outside work, then I understand. So don’t feel any pressure to say yes just because I want you to.”

  When had she grown so breathless?

  Mark started for the door. “Sleep well, Karma, and good night. Thank you for a memorable evening.” He stopped and smiled over his shoulder. “I’ll see myself out.”

  Good, because right now her feet were rooted in place. Too stunned to move, her body warm and tingling all over, her knees weak, all she could do was watch him go.

  A moment later, the front door opened and closed.

  Except for the specter of his fiery kisses, which still lingered on her lips, she was alone.

  She opened her fist and stared at the simple metal circle. If she wore it tomorrow, everything would change. But wasn’t that what she wanted? The prospect was both exhilarating and terrifying. Breaking out of old comfort zones and habits was a daunting idea, but as her father always said, if you want to change some things in your life, you have to change some things in your life. You can’t expect different results by continuing to do the same old things.

  Maybe it was time to follow Dad’s advice, because she definitely wanted to change some things in her life.

  “Good night,” she whispered.

  Chapter 17

  In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we are afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.

  -Author Unknown

  The next morning, Karma steeled herself, stepped out of her car, and marched toward Solar’s entrance. Mark was already there. His BMW was parked in his usual spot.

  With a confident yank, she pulled open the door, sashayed past the deserted reception desk, and took the stairs to her quiet space outside Don’s office. Mark’s voice came from the conference room, deep and full. He was already on the phone, even though it was only seven thirty.

  After setting down her purse and draping her jacket over the back of her chair, she strolled around the corner to the coffee station, poured a mug, added one packet of sugar, stirred it, and carried the hot mug into the conference room.

  Mark faced away from the door, leaning back in his chair with one hand behind his head and his phone to his ear. “Yes, I know, Pat, but here’s the thing…”

  She clunked the mug down on the table beside a sheet of paper filled with doodles of faces. Looked like Mark was a doodler, and a good one at that. Some of his doodles were of celebrities.

  Startled, Mark sat forward and spun around. As soon as his eyes landed on her, his eyebrows lifted with appreciation, and his gaze swiftly dragged down her body, all the way to her black platform heels, then slid back up her legs, the black pencil skirt, red V-neck short-sleeved sweater, all the way to the gold brooch pinned to the red scarf tied in a cowl around her neck. After staring at the brooch for a full two seconds, his delighted gaze lifted to hers.

  Jutting out her chin, she nodded once, spun on the ball of her foot, and marched back to her desk.

  Sure, she had misgivings and insecurities about whatever this was between them. But if she said no, she would regret it for the rest of her life. She would feel like a coward, and she didn’t want to be a coward, anymore.

  So, as with the deep end of the pool, she was jumping in without a life preserver. She could learn to swim later.

  “Uh, no. I’m sorry, Pat. I was momentarily…distracted,” he said. “Could you repeat that?”

  She grinned at making him lose his train of thought, but her knees still went weak. She tittered with excitement, anxiety, the thrill of things to come, and a healthy dose of oh-my-God-did-I-just-do-that? Adrenaline raced through her veins, making her heart rate spike and her breath come in tight, short bursts.

  Reaching her desk, she collapsed on wobbly legs. Her hands shook as she tried to type in her log-in. Three attempts later, she unlocked her computer.

>   Damn it! She needed to calm down. Mark was just a guy. He put his pants on the same way everybody did. He ate, drank, slept, and got sick just like the next guy. So then why was he so friggin’ special? Why did he hold the power to make her legs weak, her hands tremble, and her heart race with nervous anticipation?

  She tucked her hair behind her ear and looked up. Mark faced her, phone still to his ear, his other hand behind his head. That satisfied grin was still plastered on his face. After a long moment, he brought his hand around, placed it over his heart, closed his eyes, and slowly nodded his head in silent gratitude.

  She nodded back, albeit more covertly, her eyes shifting to the side then down to her desk.

  She turned away, took a steadying breath, and willed her fingers to stop shaking as she started weeding through her e-mail.

  Let the adventure begin.

  Chapter 18

  Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.

  -Author Unknown

  Tuesday night, Karma sat on her couch, finishing a plate of homemade lasagna. The TV was turned to some random movie she was neither interested in nor paying attention to. She simply wanted noise to drown out the barrage of voices that echoed through her head. So many questions, so much confusion. And no answers.

  Mark had left the office with Don at ten o’clock this morning to attend two off-site meetings and a client business dinner. She hadn’t heard from him all day, and now that they had entered into what felt like a covert affair, she was antsy to see him.

  At eight thirty, her phone dinged with a text. Snatching it from the coffee table, her heart skipped. The message was from Mark.

  Are you busy?

  She typed out her response. No.

  Less than thirty seconds later, her phone chimed again. Can I come over?

  Her mind screamed, Yes! God yes! Instead, she typed, Sure.

  She stared at the blank screen, biting her lip, eyes wide. Something about the fact that he was texting her gave her a perverse thrill.

  She actually jumped when her phone dinged again.

  Be there in fifteen.

  She hopped up, quickly cleaned her dishes, put away the leftover lasagna, rushed to check her hair, took a few deep breaths, and returned to the living room.

  A few minutes later, he arrived with a quiet knock.

  Butterflies took flight, angels sang, and rainbows and unicorns danced around her heart.

  “Hi,” she said, holding the door open.

  “Hi.” He had changed into loose jeans and a faded-blue T-shirt, and he held a small, gift-wrapped box in his hands.

  She waved him in and gestured toward the couch. “I wasn’t sure I would hear from you tonight.”

  “I would have called sooner, but dinner ran late, and I wanted to pick something up before coming over.” He held out the box as he settled into the couch.

  “What’s this?” He was already buying her gifts? She had never received a gift from a man before.

  “Just a little something I thought might be fun to help us get to know one another.” His devilish smile told her this wasn’t just any ordinary gift. “Go ahead, open it.”

  “Is this going to embarrass me?” She removed the bow on top.

  “I guarantee it.”

  “Oh God.” She hid her face in her hand, making him laugh.

  “Oh, come on. It’s not that bad.”

  She ripped off the paper, pulled out a four by five box, and read the front. Cosmo’s Truth or Dare: Our Naughtiest Game Ever! Dumbfounded and speechless, her mouth flapped open, closed, and then opened again as she lifted her gaze to Mark’s. Was he serious?

  “Here, let me open that for you.” Mark took the box from her and lifted the side, which closed magnetically. The top opened like a book, and inside was a deck of cards.

  “What exactly did you have planned tonight?” She gulped and eyed the cards as if they were scary intruders. It didn’t take a genius to figure out by the cover of the box that this was a game for two consenting adults. And, yes, while she had agreed to move forward with Mark, consenting to whatever the dare portion of this game likely entailed wasn’t what she had in mind this soon in their relationship…or whatever this was between them.

  Mark thumbed through the deck—there had to be at least two hundred cards—then set them on the coffee table.

  “Don’t worry. I don’t plan on daring you to do anything. I just thought we could go through some of the truths and learn a little more about one another, and maybe have a little fun and a few laughs.”

  “Why do I get the feeling you just want to make me as uncomfortable as possible?” She had felt the color drain from her face the moment she read the game’s title.

  “That’s precisely why I bought the game.”

  “Huh?” Was Mark sadistic?

  “What I mean is that, sometimes it takes uncomfortable circumstances for us to find ourselves. The more uncomfortable the better if change is what you want.” He took her hand. “And I think you want change, or you wouldn’t have worn that brooch today. Am I right?”

  He made a good point. “Well…yes.”

  “Trust me. I just want to get to know you. That’s all. So I can take better care of you.” He searched her eyes for understanding.

  She liked his choice of words. So I can take better care of you. How many women could say that the men in their lives held such attitudes?

  “Okay,” she said, feeling her nerves ease.

  He let go of her hand and sat back. “So let’s just play Truth or Truth with our game. No dares tonight.” He nodded toward the cards on the table. “Just pick up a card, and ask me the question. I’ll answer then do the same. How’s that sound?”

  Karma took a deep breath and eyed the cards. “Okay. But if I die from embarrassment, tell my family I loved them.”

  His deep, throaty laughter tickled her ears. She loved his laugh.

  “I promise,” he said, crossing his heart. “Now, go on. Take a card and ask me a question.”

  She picked up the top card. Just reading the question to herself made her face burn.

  “Okay,” she said, sighing, “Do you like your hair pulled during sex?” She couldn’t even read it aloud with a straight face, let alone make eye contact.

  “Hmm, I guess that depends on the situation, but yes, generally speaking, I like when a woman pulls my hair during sex.”

  Curious now, Karma looked up. “Really? Why?” She figured it would hurt if someone pulled her hair, whether during sex or otherwise.

  He shrugged, and his left eyebrow shot up. “I guess I like it because it shows me the woman is really enjoying herself. That she’s completely lost to her passion.” He paused. “I take it you’ve never had your hair pulled like that.” It wasn’t a question.

  Karma briskly shook her head and set the card down like it was a hot potato. “No.”

  “Didn’t think so.” Mark reached for the deck and pulled off the next card. A crooked grin spread over his mouth as he read the question. “Who was the first person you ever kissed? Was it good or bad?”

  Well, that wasn’t too bad. A question like that wasn’t likely to send her into a queasy fit. She reluctantly told him about kissing Tony in high school and how she froze up, which made him laugh.

  “Okay then, how about the second guy you kissed?”

  “Hey, that’s two questions.”

  He crossed his hands in his lap. “Just getting to you know you.”

  “Fine, play by your rules.” She took a deep breath and blew it out. “The second guy I kissed was named Brian, and…” She cringed. “That kiss was kind of bad, too.”

  “How so?”

  Of course Mark would want specifics.

  “He and I were both…um…virgins, and I kind of froze up with him, too. Just like with Tony.”

  “How did you and Brian meet?”

  “At a movie theater where we both worked during senior
year. Brian attended a different school than I did, but we got to be pretty good friends at work.”

  “Did you end up having sex with Brian?” Mark’s eyes never wavered from hers.

  Flames shot through Karma’s face and down her neck, and she dropped her gaze to her hands, which rested in her lap. “Yes. Eventually.”

  “Was it good?”

  She shook her head. “Not really.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  She knew what Mark was trying to do. He was trying to get her to open up and become more comfortable talking about this kind of thing—trying to enforce change. But right now, this had to be the most awkward, difficult conversation she’d ever had. Even worse than the time she got called to the principal’s office in junior high for calling a classmate who was bullying her a skanky bitch. Not her finest hour.

  She lifted her gaze to his and found warmth and safety staring back. Mark really did have her best intentions at heart, and he clearly wanted their time together—as little as they had—to mean something and make a difference.

  She gathered the courage and moved forward. “Brian and I were virgins. We met at work.” Each sentence felt labored, but as she forced herself to continue, it grew easier. “He was an usher, and I worked in the concession stand. After work, we often hung out together, and now that I think about it, he probably liked me more than I liked him.” Brian had been a nice boy, and, at the time, she had felt like he was as good a guy as any to lose her virginity to. Now she wished she hadn’t, but at the time, all she wanted was to get her first time over with in hopes it would make her feel more grown-up and help put her past behind her.

  As she relayed the story, the memories of that night six years ago rushed into her mind, and they felt just as fresh, just as raw.