I enjoyed my long, hot shower. I took my time drying and straightening my hair and putting on my make-up. I heard the text alert two more times and I still didn’t check it. I wanted the peace of mind that comes with the unknown for another few minutes at least.
After dressing in a pair of dark blue jeans and a pink and gray racing t-shirt I picked up the phone. I looked at it and saw that all three messages were, as I had thought they would be, from Dax. I should have just deleted them, but I was a glutton for punishment so I pushed read.
“Olivia, I’m sorry. Please call me, we need to talk.”
“Olivia, come on, don’t be ridiculous. Call me.”
He’s no longer sorry, and now I’m being ridiculous.
“I miss you. Please call me. We’ll go for a ride on the bike and talk. I’ll buy you lunch. Please.”
I pressed, “Delete Thread” and then “Okay,” and then I went to work.
The shop was busy and it was good to lose my thoughts in dull, drab things like two-cycle oil and handle grips. My first customer of the day was one of those forty year old businessmen who was losing his hair and his grip on his mid-section. In order to compensate for that, in his mind at least, he’d bought a Harley. Not just any Harley, mind you. He had bought one of my uncle’s customized Harley’s and he had paid upwards of eighty grand for it. He was back now and looking for riding clothes.
“Hi Mr. Neill.”
“Well hello, Olivia. It’s good to see you back.”
“Thanks, it’s good to see you too. Is there something I can help you with?”
“I just need some t-shirts and accessories so when I ride the bike your uncle built for me I look like I belong on it. What do you think?”
I think you’re going to need a time machine that can take you back at least fifteen years before you look good on it. “Oh yeah, we have lots of Harley gear,” I said instead. “Follow me over here and I’ll show you.”
He followed me over to where the clothes were and by the time he left the store I’d talked him into about three hundred dollars in merchandise. My uncle was a happy man.
The rest of the day was about the same and when I got back to the house that night I actually made dinner. I cooked pork chops, mashed potatoes and gravy and vegetables. When my uncle came home we had dinner together. We talked and laughed, mostly at Mr. Neill’s expense and then I spent the rest of the evening mindlessly watching television in my room.
I waited until just before I went to sleep to check my text messages. There were six of them, all from Dax and today he’d actually left a voicemail. I didn’t bother reading or listening to them. I was finished this time. I had to take my life back and refusing to do it Dax’s way was the second step…leaving Terrance had been the first.
The next morning was as nice as the first, right up until the moment that Dax walked in the door. My uncle had gone to the post office and the bank so I was the only one in the front of the store. Thankfully, I didn’t have any customers at the moment.
“What are you doing here, Dax?”
“Looking for you. You won’t return my calls or texts. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine. My uncle gave me a place to stay and my job back. You can leave now and go back on your quest for the truth.”
“I don’t know why you’re so sarcastic about that, Liv. If you did time and you were innocent, wouldn’t you want to know who set you up?”
“I’m sure I would,” I told him, honestly. “But I wouldn’t risk my freedom again to do it.”
“I’m not going back to jail, Liv. I’m being careful.”
“Terrance burst in the room and pointed a gun at us, looking for a Mexican Cartel member. This is how these people live and you say you hate it, yet you seem to be inexplicably drawn to it nonetheless.”
“Just until I figure all of this out,” he repeated for the thousandth time.
“Then figure it out without me,” I told him.
“Olivia, I just got you back.”
He took a step towards me and I took one back. I couldn’t let him touch me. His touch was like voodoo and I’d get sucked right back in.
“You have a choice here, Dax. I want to be with you too, but I can’t risk my heart again. I can’t keep living like this. I’m making positive changes and if you’re ready to do that too…I’d love for us to do that together. I’d love to know that you chose me over revenge.”
“I can’t walk away until I clear my own name,” he said. “This shouldn’t be an either or choice. I’ll take care of you Olivia. I won’t let anyone hurt you and I’m not going to let them hurt me again either.”
“You’re not Superman, Dax. You can’t control their behaviors either. Once again, I had a gun in my face two days ago. I choose not to live like that. I need you to choose not to live like that too.”
“I do, Olivia. I don’t want that life. I just have to go along with it for a little while longer.”
“Then I can’t be with you right now, Dax.”
He stood and looked at me with his piercing green eyes for the longest time. I was so tempted to take a step forward and press my lips to his. I was proud of myself for my resolve though. I stuck to my guns even as I watched him turn around and walk out of the store. I wondered if he was walking out of my life too.
PART FOUR
Chapter One
Olivia
I opened my eyes and it took me a few seconds to remember where I was. I was back at my uncle’s house. I sighed, I felt like I was constantly going backwards with my life. I felt like since the day Dax was arrested that my wheels had been spinning but I never got anywhere. I needed to get off this crazy ride once and for all and take the route that would lead me away from all of these people who kept holding me back.
I put on my robe and went out to the kitchen to start the coffee brewing. I was trying hard to look ahead instead of backwards but my mind wanted to run over and over what I had lost…which right now seemed to be everything.
I’d lost Terrance, which was mostly good news. With him, I could at least tell myself I never really had him. He was nothing but a fake and I knew that I never really knew anything about him. I felt so stupid when I thought about how I believed for so long that he only ran parts for his dad and Bull. He helped set Dax up and he was involved in the drug side of the business. Scariest of all was that he was the guy they called to bring in the big guns when there was a report of a member of a Mexican drug cartel running around.
I had been living with a man I knew nothing about and the fact that I could be that naïve scared me to death. Maybe I should have been grateful to him for opening my eyes. I wouldn’t trust that easily again, that’s for sure. Terrance was out of my life for good so I guess I could at least give myself credit for that one step forward.
I poured myself a cup of coffee and as I poured the cream and sugar into it, I thought about Dax. When he came to see me yesterday he seemed like he was upset with me, like I was the one doing something wrong. Maybe it was only to appease his own conscience. I wasn’t the one choosing something over him. I wanted to be with him…more than anything. I just couldn’t keep compromising my own values and beliefs for those men.
I washed my hands of my own father because I didn’t believe in the way he was choosing to live his life. What was I doing continuing to pick these men that wanted to lead me right back into it? I knew Dax said repeatedly that he didn’t want to live the MC life and I wanted desperately to believe him. But how much more needed to happen before he was willing to just make a clean break and walk away? Was someone going to have to pull the trigger the next time a gun is in our face for him to get how dangerous this quest for revenge had become? He had a choice, revenge or me. He walked out yesterday. He made his choice and now I had to accept it and move forward….I had to.
I pulled myself up out of the chair and went to get into the shower. I had to work and I didn’t have any more time to waste sitting there wallowing in what sh
ould have or could have been.
I showered and dressed in a black and pink Harley t-shirt and jeans, put on my tennis shoes, pulled my hair into a ponytail and headed off to work.
My uncle wasn’t working today so me and the new guy Tyler opened up the shop. He was working in back doing some detailing and mechanic work and I was working the parts desk. As soon as he had gone in the back, the front door jangled. I looked up, right into Terrance’s brown eyes. Damn! I knew I would have to run into him sooner or later since I was working there, but I was hoping it would be on a day when someone else was working with me and I didn’t have to be the one to help him.
“Hi Liv,” he said, like I might possibly be happy to see him.
“I’m surprised you wouldn’t be ashamed to show your face around here,” I said. “Yet, you just walk in here like any ordinary citizen.”
“Come on, Liv. It’s just me. I’m still the guy I’ve always been.”
“And who is that guy, exactly, Terrance? Is he the guy who pretended to care about me when my boyfriend got locked up, but who was only looking for the opportunity to get into my pants? Or, maybe he’s the guy who carries an automatic rifle and busts down doors looking for the Mexican cartel?”
Terrance looked around the shop like he was looking to see if there were any witnesses to our conversation. Then he leaned in close to me….too close and said, “First of all, you should be really careful who’s around when you say things like that. Second, I was your friend. I wouldn’t have ever turned my back on you. You chose to walk away from me, remember?”
“After I found out what you did to Dax, remember?”
“I explained that to you,” he said, like it made it all better. Those guys were all crazy and I didn’t have the time or the patience for their shit.
“What did you come in here for, Terrance? Do you need one of those parts you buy in order to cover up what you’re actually running for your dad?”
“Knock it off, Olivia. I’m serious,” he said. He actually sounded a little scary when he said it. I guess I should quit thinking of him simply as an ex-boyfriend and remember who he really was. Proving it, he said, “I don’t need any parts today. What I need is for you to pass on some information. Let your new boyfriend know that what he’s doing could have fatal consequences. If he wants the business to leave him alone, then he needs to stay out of the business. This revenge crap is going to get him dead.”
“Are you threatening Dax?” I asked him. Just saying it made my heart pound in my chest.
“No, I would never hurt Dax. I know you and Dax both don’t believe this, but I still love him like a brother. My father on the other hand, does not feel the same kind of loyalty. He’s not a guy you want to mess with. Do you think I chose this life?”
I suddenly felt bad. I knew I shouldn’t have felt bad for him, he was a grown man. He could choose to do whatever he wanted to do with his life. But I felt bad for the little boy who grew up thinking so highly of a father and Bull and the others, only to find out who they really were. But, that’s when he should have walked away and he didn’t. That’s the guy that I didn’t feel sorry for.
“No, I don’t think you chose it to begin with, Terrance. I know how you grew up. But, I also know that you’re grown now and you continue to choose to stay. Is what your father wants that important to you still? Or, does he threaten you if you leave? Or, do you just choose to stay because this mess is your life and you don’t want to have to go out and work for a living the way everyone else does?”
“I do what I have to do,” he said, in a matter of fact tone. “Tell Dax to back-off, Olivia. I followed orders and I put those drugs in his bags. I was willing to do that to save my own ass. I’m not willing to see Dax hurt or killed. That’s what’s going to happen if he doesn’t leave it alone.”
“So it is a threat, then?” I asked again.
He looked pissed off and said, “Just tell him what I said, unless you want his blood on your own hands.”
I didn’t say anything. Terrance looked at me again for a while like he was waiting for confirmation that I would talk to Dax. I would, as much as I didn’t want to, but as far as Terrance was concerned, I was finished talking to him. I watched him walk out of the shop and drive away on his bike, knowing that I was going to have to talk to Dax.
Chapter Two
Dax
I woke up in my room behind the bar and thought about what I was going to do today. I couldn’t do what Olivia wanted me to and give up my quest to find out exactly who had me set up and why. I felt like if I did, I’d be telling them it was okay to fuck with my life…and it was definitely not okay. Even though I wasn’t giving up trying to figure this all out, I still needed to get on with it at some point. Sleeping in every day in the back of a bar was probably not going to get me anywhere.
I pulled my ass out of bed and got into the shower. While I was in there I prepared the spiel in my head that I was going to give my mom. I had almost three thousand dollars in my savings, but I was probably going to need three or four times that much to start. I was starting from scratch, so I’d need money for licensing and all of the equipment. I’d also need rent and deposit money for a building and probably deposits for all of my utilities.
I got out of the shower and pulled on a black Harley t-shirt and jeans. I pulled on my boots and went out through the back to get my bike. My dad and Bo were in the shop working on a couple of bikes.
“Hey! Decided to get out of bed today, huh?” my dad asked.
“Very funny.” I grunted.
“Where you headed out to?”
“I need to talk to Mom. Is she at home today?”
“As far as I know,” my dad said. “She was there when I left. What’s going on with you and your mom?” he asked.
“I just haven’t seen her in a day or two,” I said.
I straddled the bike and I was putting my helmet on when Bo said, “Missin’ his Mama! Ain’t that cute?”
Bo had something coming for him in the near future…I hoped.
When I got to the house my mom was out in her garden again. She had her back to me when I walked out and she had her earphones in. I knew I was going to startle her, but the little boy in me couldn’t resist. I went up behind her and touched her on the back. She was on her knees and she jumped back, landing on her ass and screamed. When she looked up and saw it was me and that I was laughing, I got smacked in the leg.
“You little punk!” she shouted as I held my hand out to help her up.
“I’m sorry,” I told her. “I couldn’t resist.”
She let me help her to her feet and then she reached back to brush the mud off her jeans. When she finished, she looked at me and said, “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to see my mom,” I told her. She rolled her eyes like she didn’t believe me.
“Have you had lunch?” she asked.
I grinned and said, “I haven’t had breakfast. I just got up.” She gave me a disapproving look. “I know. I’m burning daylight.” It was what she used to tell me and Brock when we were younger and didn’t want to get out of bed.
“You want a sandwich?” she asked me.
“I could eat,” I told her.
We went into the house and while she went to clean up and change I sat down and turned on the television. I stared mindlessly at a game show until she came back in. She had a tray with a ham and Swiss sandwich on a Kaiser roll, potato salad, a fruit cup and iced tea.
I shook my head when I saw it and said, “It looks awesome Mom, but you shouldn’t have went to all of this trouble.”
She waved me off like I was talking nonsense and asked, “What are your plans for the rest of the day?”
“Well, that really depends on you,” I said, taking a bite of my sandwich. Damn it was good. Way better than prison food.
“What do you mean?” she said, suspiciously.
“I’m still thinking about the tattoo shop thing we talked about a while back, remember?”
“Yeah, I remember,” she said. “Did you ever finish the list of what you’d need? I think I only got a partial one.”
“I did,” I told her. “I actually sat down and went online and priced out things like the tables and chairs and all of the equipment. There’s a little place right in town that’s for rent. It’s pretty cheap and I have about three grand left in my savings. So…this is what I think I’d need to borrow to get started.”
I handed her a piece of paper I had brought with me with the numbers on it. I ate my lunch and watched her face while she looked at it. She didn’t look enthusiastic, but she didn’t have a “no way” look on her face either. After a few minutes, she put the paper down and looked at me with a serious look on her face.
“Are you still trying to solve the mystery of who set you up?”
“Yeah, I’m doing what I can to figure it out." I thought I knew where she was going with this and I wasn’t sure I liked it.
“I wish you would stop that, Dax. You know that I do my best to stay out of that business of your father’s, but I’ve been around it long enough to know it’s not safe to cross these guys. They got you put behind bars for over two years, for what? You don’t even know, which means you didn’t really do anything. If you keep after them on this revenge binge I really don’t think they’d hesitate to hurt you…or worse. I don’t believe your father would have any part of that and if it happened he’d probably be on his own revenge quest. It would be too late for you. Please leave this all alone and get on with your life, Dax.”
“I can’t do that, Mom.”
“Okay, you’re a grown man and I can’t force you to do what I want. I can’t give you money for this business though if I don’t believe you’ll have your head in it a hundred percent.”
“Are you serious? What is this, blackmail?”
“No, it’s just what I said. You’re asking me for a lot of money to start a business. I have to see that you’re serious about making that business a success. I can’t see you having the time and the heart to do that if you’re still busy with all of this other nonsense.”
Dirty SEAL (A Navy SEAL Romance) (The Maxwell Family) Page 86