Hello, Again

by Isabelle Broom

  Samuel folded his arms across his bare chest.

  ‘You sure?’

  What was it about people asking if you were OK that always made you want to cry?

  Pepper stared down at her bare toes, willing herself not to crack.

  ‘I’m fine,’ she mumbled.

  ‘You can tell me if something’s troubling you,’ he said. ‘I know we don’t know each other all that well, but I’m a good listener.’

  As he said it, he angled his head so that one of his ears ended up about an inch from her face.

  ‘You’re a weirdo,’ Pepper said loudly, right into it, laughing as he bobbed his head up and down like a nodding dog.

  ‘See – you feel better already, don’t you?’

  ‘Much,’ Pepper agreed. ‘But I still maintain that you’re a total weirdo.’

  ‘Takes one to know one.’

  ‘Touché.’

  They grinned at each other.

  ‘Bethan would have really loved you,’ she said then, surprising herself. The only conversation she and Samuel had ever had about her sister was a brief one the first or second time they’d met. He didn’t know the full story of how she’d died, just that she had.

  ‘I wish I’d met her, in that case,’ he replied. ‘Do you think she might even have gone out with me?’

  ‘Probably.’ Pepper tried subtly to rearrange her towel, only for it to slip from her grasp and drop to the floor. Hastily scooping it up, her cheeks burning, she added, ‘I seem to remember that Bethan had three boyfriends when she died, and she hadn’t even turned eight yet. A serious maneater, that one.’

  ‘My sister’s the same,’ Samuel said regretfully. ‘Me and my two brothers are all useless – Esi puts us to shame.’

  ‘There are four of you?’

  He nodded. ‘Yep. My poor mum, right? Imagine two more of me.’

  ‘I bet she’s very proud of you,’ Pepper said, wriggling down into her towel. Her skin was beginning to crinkle up like a crisp packet that had been baked in an oven.

  ‘Do you have any other brothers or sisters?’ he asked, and Pepper felt her face fall.

  ‘No. Just me. My parents didn’t stay together for very long after Bethan died. It was as if a part of us all went with her – my family was shattered into pieces, and I guess we’ve never fitted together again since. Not properly.’

  ‘That is sad.’ Samuel looked crestfallen. ‘And you said your sister was only seven when she died? Do you mind me asking how it happened – was she ill?’

  Pepper took a very deep and steadying breath.

  ‘Yes and no,’ she said. ‘She was born with epilepsy but hadn’t shown any signs of it for years – no fits or anything. My parents never used to let her out of their sight, but as the years passed and there were no incidents, they – well, I say they, but I mean we, all of us – started to relax. Then, one evening, she was having a bath before she went to bed and––’

  Pepper stopped abruptly as a lump caught in her throat. She could not bring herself to look at Samuel, but she could feel concern radiating off him.

  ‘I was downstairs,’ she went on. ‘Drawing or something. I had my Walkman on. My dad was at work, and someone came to the door, one of the neighbours. I didn’t hear them knocking, and so my mum came down to answer it and got chatting. But in the meantime . . .’

  She trailed off with a shudder.

  ‘By the time my mum went back upstairs, Bethan had been under the water too long and–– There was nothing anyone could do.’

  ‘Jesus.’ Samuel sounded wretched. ‘That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.’

  ‘I often think what would have happened if I hadn’t been drawing,’ she whispered. ‘If I had answered the door instead of my mum. Would my sister still be alive if I had?’

  ‘Maybe,’ he allowed. ‘But maybe you simply would have called to your mum and she would have come downstairs anyway. You can’t allow yourself to think like that, you know – that’s a sure-fire way to drive yourself downhill.’

  ‘I know,’ Pepper said dully. ‘It hasn’t stopped my mother, though. I know she blames herself. Probably blames me, too,’ she added, knowing there was no ‘probably’ about it.

  When she finally glanced up at Samuel, she saw that he was frowning, his head on one side.

  ‘You know,’ he said, ‘I’ve been around death a fair bit in my life, what with being an almost-famous surgeon and all.’ He gave her a flicker of a smile. ‘And I found that a lot of the time, beautiful things can happen in the wake of it. Death doesn’t have to be a full stop to life.’

  ‘It was for Bethan,’ Pepper said shortly, feeling suddenly defensive. ‘She doesn’t get to carry on with her story.’

  ‘Of course she does,’ Samuel said gently. ‘She’s here with us right now, isn’t she? Being part of our story.’

  Tears pricked at Pepper’s eyes with such insistence that she had to screw up her face.

  ‘Listen, I shouldn’t have brought it up,’ she hastened. ‘Forget I said anything. I should go. I–– I’ll see you around.’

  The look of pity in his eyes as she turned and fled haunted Pepper for the rest of the day.

  Chapter 28

  Finn arrived in Suffolk on a scorching day.

  It felt to Pepper as if a dripping curtain of humidity had been pulled right across the east coast of England, and despite opening all the windows of her ancient Volvo en route to Stansted Airport, Pepper still felt clammy in her mended yellow dress and hoped the beads of nervous sweat she could feel would not show up on the flimsy fabric.

  She needn’t have worried. As soon as Finn spotted her through the throng of people milling around in the arrivals lounge, he strode across and swept her right up into his arms, just as he had done in Hamburg, pulling loose her ponytail before kissing her until she laughingly demanded to be put down.

  Back in Aldeburgh, he took his time exploring her cottage, picking up ornaments and examining photographs as he went.

  ‘You were very cute as a little girl,’ he told her, pointing to the image of a five-year-old Pepper on the beach, a grin on her face almost as large as the lump of seaweed she was proudly holding up for the camera. ‘And you are very sexy as a grown-up one.’

  A blushing Pepper clanked around making real lemonade in the kitchen, while Finn ventured out into the back garden, crouching down to smell her flowers and peering through the windows of her studio. When Pepper tossed the keys towards him along the path, he let himself in and opened every drawer and cupboard that wasn’t locked, extracting coloured beads, splintered shards of mosaic tile and brushes of every size, shape and function.

  ‘This place is an artist’s treasure trove,’ he said with enthusiasm. ‘I feel like the hobbit Bilbo Baggins when he finds the cave of Smaug.’

  ‘I hope you’re not comparing me to a dragon,’ she exclaimed, and Finn shook his head.

  ‘No. But you are just as hot.’

  He was even more delighted when he spotted the red pepper mosaic he had made her in Lisbon framed and hung on the studio wall, but when he asked ultra-casually if she had done any more of her own work recently, Pepper shook her head. She did not feel ready to show him the tiles she had painted yet.

  It was such glorious weather that she suggested they set up a table and chairs outside.

  ‘I haven’t actually got a barbecue,’ she told him regretfully. ‘But I do have veggie burgers in the freezer?’

  ‘Will they go with champagne?’ he asked, brandishing a bottle as Pepper slid a tray under the grill. ‘I brought some – it is a gift to you from Freunde.’

  Pepper did a little shimmy and adopted a sultry French accent as she said, ‘Ah oui, monsieur, with these fizzy bubbles you are really spoiling us.’

  ‘Ooh la la,’ he replied, with rather less poetic flair, making Pepper laugh as he attempted to ease the cork out with his teeth.

  ‘Careful you don’t take your eye out!’ she said in mild alarm, then squeaked as Finn put down the bot
tle and pulled her into his arms.

  ‘What about the champagne?’ she asked, wriggling half-heartedly. ‘Don’t you want any?’

  Finn buried his head in her neck.

  ‘There is only one thing in here that I want.’

  Pepper’s clothes were halfway over her head when they were interrupted by a knocking at the front door.

  Yanking down her frock and giggling like a giddy hyena, she hurried along the hallway to answer it.

  ‘He-llo-oo–– Oh! Hello, Samuel.’

  Pepper faltered as she took in the slightly apologetic expression on his face, and the limp bunch of tulips in his hand.

  ‘For you,’ he said, offering her the flowers. ‘I felt like I said the wrong thing at the pool yesterday, offended you or something, and I just wanted to say sorry.’

  He grimaced.

  ‘It’s not the first time this massive gob of mine has got me into trouble.’

  ‘You didn’t. I mean, I wasn’t.’ Pepper took the tulips and brought them up to her nose for a sniff.

  ‘Thank you. They’re lovely. But really, there was no need. I was just feeling morose. It catches up with me occasionally.’

  She pulled up the strap of her yellow dress. It had been slipping down over her bare shoulder all day, and now she wished she’d worn a bra underneath.

  Samuel put his hands into his pockets and rocked backwards on his trainers. ‘My pleasure. Oh, and sorry for just turning up here out of the blue, too. Jilly Howarth had your address on file, and I was going to do the whole Interflora thing, but then I thought the personal touch would be better, but what I should have done was call first – or message. I hope you don’t think I’m weird.’

  ‘You know I absolutely do . . .’ she replied. ‘Not.’

  Samuel smiled properly for the first time since she had opened the door. Then, inclining his head to the side, ‘Are those burgers I can smell?’

  ‘Oh bugger!’ Pepper took a step backwards. ‘They’re probably burning – hang on. Come in, come in, I’ll just be a sec.’

  She left him in the hallway and ran back to the kitchen, where she was greeted by a large black cloud and the scream of her smoke alarm.

  ‘Oops!’ she cried, donning her oven gloves and trying not to choke as she retrieved the tray of very burnt veggie patties.

  ‘Everything all right in here?’

  Samuel had followed her in and was using his arm to windmill a path to her through the smoke. She noticed that the back door was propped open – Finn must have gone back out to the studio. He would have heard the shrill beeping if not.

  ‘Can you pass me that broom?’ she asked Samuel. ‘It should be in the corner over there – that’s right, behind that saucepan stand.’

  He located it and passed it over, and Pepper paused to rub the moisture from her eyes. She knew the smoke alarm was on the ceiling just inside the door, but she couldn’t make out exactly where. She had just jabbed the broom handle up to where she thought the button might be, when something small, dark and furry flew out of the corner and hit her square in the face.

  ‘Aaaaargh!’ she screamed, dropping the broom and running blindly towards the back door.

  ‘Pepper!’

  Finn had run along the garden path and caught her in his arms.

  ‘What is it?’ he asked aghast. ‘What is going on?’

  As he glanced over her shoulder towards the kitchen, Pepper felt him stiffen.

  ‘There is a fire?’

  Pepper didn’t answer him, she was still too busy bashing away at her own face and hair.

  ‘Something flew out at me!’ she cried, shuddering as she remembered the cold scratch of claws against her cheek.

  Samuel had now emerged like a magician through the smoke, and Pepper saw him and Finn give each other a curious once-over.

  ‘Did you see where it went?’ Pepper asked him, stepping away from Finn and going back towards the house. ‘Is it still in there?’

  ‘I dunno what you’re on about,’ Samuel said with a shrug. He looked amused by the strange turn of events, but for once, Finn was not smiling.

  Back in the kitchen, the smoke was beginning to clear, but the alarm had reached a deafening pitch.

  ‘Oh, shut up!’ yelled Pepper, picking up the broom from the floor and hurling it towards the ceiling. She had aimed right, but instead of connecting with the off switch, the wooden handle smashed through the casing. Plastic pieces rained down, but the ringing continued its shrill screech. If anything, thought Pepper in mounting exasperation, all she’d actually done was anger it.

  Retrieving the broom for another try, she noticed something attached to one end of it.

  Screaming for the second time, Pepper lobbed the offending brush across the room, where it connected with Samuel’s head.

  ‘Ow!’ he cried, then, ‘WHOA!’ as the bat abandoned the broom and flapped past an inch from his nose.

  ‘We must all stay calm,’ ordered Finn, who was rolling up his sleeves. Grabbing a tea towel from beside the sink, he swung it through the air, only to swear when the bat fluttered away out of reach.

  ‘Mate, we got this,’ said Samuel, pulling Pepper’s apron off the hook on the back of the pantry door and leaping about a foot in the air.

  Pepper stood with her back against the wall and watched them. With every missed swipe and wasted jump, Finn was growing more frustrated. It was clear both men wanted to be the one who rescued the little intruder, but so far the bat was doing a sterling job of evading capture. Finn was definitely the more agile of the two, but Samuel had the edge when it came to height and, by choosing the apron, he also had a far bigger net at his disposal.

  ‘Shouldn’t we just open the windows and leave it alone?’ suggested Pepper. She was beginning to feel sorry for the Houdini bat, and it was also becoming increasingly difficult not to laugh.

  Finn was bright red in the face now, while Samuel had somehow managed to rip two of the buttons off his shirt. What had begun as the two competing against each other had soon merged into them against the bat – and there was a very clear winner emerging.

  ‘Stop moving, you asshole!’ Finn growled through gritted teeth.

  ‘Bollocks!’ Samuel fell sideways against Pepper’s kitchen table. ‘I almost had him then.’

  ‘We must corner him,’ Finn instructed. ‘I will go long, you stay midfield.’

  Oh God, thought Pepper, giving in to helpless laughter, they had moved on to football lingo now.

  There was an almighty crash as Finn whipped his tea towel through the air and took out a jam jar of coloured sand on the windowsill.

  ‘Hey.’ Pepper took a step forward. ‘Be careful!’

  Finn barely turned.

  ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I will buy you a new one.’

  ‘That is hardly the point,’ she protested, then ducked as Samuel came flying across the room towards her, both arms raised and the apron billowing out behind him like a cape.

  ‘Watch out!’ he yelled, but the warning came too late for Finn. There was a crunch, followed by a grunt, and both men went tumbling to the floor.

  ‘Oopsy,’ giggled Pepper.

  ‘Scheisse!’ moaned Finn.

  ‘My nuts,’ muttered Samuel.

  The bat, meanwhile, snuck out from its hiding place inside the lampshade and fluttered serenely away into the night.

  Chapter 29

  ‘I can’t remember the last time I did this.’

  Finn paused in his application of sun lotion, one outstretched leg smeared white.

  ‘Did what – ate ice cream?’

  Pepper looked down at the scoops of salted caramel and Belgian chocolate that were beginning to melt and run down the sides of her cone.

  ‘Yes – but also just sat on the beach, on a blanket, with a man,’ she said. ‘It’s nice – I should really try to do it more often.’

  Finn smiled at her, his hands returning to their task.

  ‘You are lucky,’ he said. ‘To have this beach so
close to your home. In Hamburg we have the river, as you know, but it is not the same as this. There is something very special about the sea; the feeling you get when you stand – or sit – and look out at it.’

  Pepper bit into her wafer and a shoal of crumbs cascaded down the front of her swimsuit.

  ‘Leave them,’ said Finn slyly, as she attempted to fish them out. ‘Something for me to nibble on later.’

  Samuel had stayed long enough for the three of them to finish the bottle of champagne the previous evening, after which she and Finn had called for takeaway and sat together under a blanket on her sofa, feeding each other duck pancakes and prawn crackers dipped in sweet chilli sauce. Eventually, it got so late that Finn had fallen asleep, his long limbs dangling off her settee at all angles and his blond hair tossed artfully against the cushion. Loath to wake him, Pepper had crept around clearing up, stacking empty bottles in the recycling bag and using a dustpan and brush to sweep all the remnants of her broken jar into the bin. The tea towel that Finn had commandeered to catch the bat had ended up filled with ice for the lump on his head – a souvenir from his mid-air slam dunk with Samuel.

  Once everything was washed, dried and put away, she had gone back into the front room and lowered herself down onto the carpet until she was sitting cross-legged beside him, allowing herself a few precious moments to take in the light stubble that was just starting to re-emerge across his jaw, the shadows his lashes cast across his cheeks and the soft fullness of his lower lip. The need to kiss him had burnt through her, the compulsion to touch him too strong to ignore. Leaning forwards, Pepper had pressed her own lips hesitantly against his own.

  Finn didn’t open his eyes; he simply gave in to a sleepy half-smile and pulled her against him, hoisting her up onto the sofa until she was lying across him. Wrapping his arms tightly around her, he had drawn her close until her body slotted in around his.

  ‘Hallo,’ he murmured, and when he kissed her, Pepper had felt all her recent anxiety drain away. Finn was her spoonful of medicine, her remedy to the trials she faced – being with him made her feel protected from the world, and from herself, too.