Into the Fire

by Cheree Alsop

  I clenched my hands, and remembered Officer Donaldson taking the spoon from my grip. My palms ached. I hoped that meant the burns were healing and I hadn’t stressed them too badly. “But there’s something else. It’s like I want to be the person Kale and Donaldson think I am. I know I’m not,” I quickly put in before my thoughts could contradict me. “But I’m trying to be.” My head ached. I rested it in one bandaged hand, ignoring the pain the weight brought. “I just don’t want to disappoint them,” I concluded softly.

  The silence that met my words filled me with longing. I wanted her to answer. I wanted her to be alright. She needed to know that she was safe, and that there were people other than me who wanted to take care of her. She didn’t need me. My heart gave a sharp throb. I let out a slow breath. She at least needed me there to reassure her that she was safe. After that, I could leave the Galdoni Center behind.

  “Her numbers are better.”

  I stood so fast my chair hit against the small couch by the wall and fell over. My hands were up and I stood in a defensive stance before I realized the voice had been feminine and soft. I blinked, and found myself looking at a young woman in nurse’s scrubs holding a tray of food.

  “I didn’t mean to startle you,” she apologized, one foot turned toward the hallway as if she was ready to run in case I attacked.

  I willed my muscles to relax and shook my head. “I’m sorry. I overreacted. I, uh, I’m not used to being caught off-guard.”

  She gave a small, uncertain smile. “They should turn the bed so you can see the door when you sit there. It might make you more comfortable.”

  I grimaced. “Or I could learn that the staff here isn’t out to kill me.” I gave her what I hoped was an apologetic smile. “It’s been an interesting night.”

  She took a step into the room. I crossed to the couch and stood the chair back up using my elbow and a foot. When I turned back, the girl had set the tray on a small rolling side table and was watching me with a hint of a smile playing around her mouth. “I could have done that.”

  I scooted the chair back toward Alana’s bed. It made a loud screech on the linoleum floor. The girl and I both winced and glanced at Alana as if afraid the sound might have awoken her. We looked at each other again and she gave a little laugh. “As if waking her up would be a bad thing,” she said.

  I nodded. “Maybe I should do it again.”

  She laughed out loud, then covered her mouth with a hand as though surprised such a thing had come out of it. She quickly dropped her hand again. “Here.” She pushed the tray toward me.

  “You’re the one who’s been bringing me food?” The thought made me feel even worse about scaring her.

  She shrugged. “It’s my job.”

  She was different than the other nurses I had seen at the center. Her hair was black and cut short at the back, but left longer at the front so that it fell in front of her eyes when she tipped her head down. The ends had been colored bright red, which contrasted starkly with her light blue eyes. Black marks traced her skin, peaking above the collar line of her scrubs, and then lacing along her arms like vines that ended in thorns around her wrists.

  “What are those?” I asked. I wanted to kick myself for talking without thinking. It was none of my business; I had just never seen anything like it before.

  Surprise lit her guarded gaze. She turned her arms, revealing more of the marks swirling up past her elbows. A small red flower had been crafted on each forearm about midway between her elbows and wrists. The distinction was beautiful. “Tattoos,” she said quietly. She glanced up at me through her red and black hair. “I’m supposed to wear a long-sleeved shirt, but they don’t seem to care if I forget during the night shifts. Never seen tattoos before?”

  I shook my head. “I haven’t exactly been around many sophisticated women before.”

  The laugh burst from her again as if she couldn’t hold it in. Her hand covered her mouth, but mirth still showed in her eyes as if despite her efforts, it bubbled beneath the surface. She shook her head. “Sophisticated. That’s a first.”

  My cheeks burned. “Did I use the wrong word?”

  She looked at me again with the same gaze as though she was trying to read my heart through my eyes. My heart responded by performing what felt like a backflip. My breath caught in my throat. “You used it right,” she said, her expression curious and head tipped slightly to the side. “I just don’t think you have enough experience in the world to realize why it doesn’t apply to me.”

  I nodded, willing to accept the explanation. She looked back at her tattoos. “Tattoos are made with ink and needles. They inject the ink into the skin as they draw; that way, it’s permanent.”

  She appeared pleased that I had asked, but also uneasy as though she warred with hiding how she felt. It made me feel better to know I wasn’t the only one who had to struggle to keep my emotions from view. “Did you like getting them done?”

  The hint of humor surfaced in her gaze once more. “Most people ask if it hurt.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t mind pain.”

  She looked at my hands. “I think I guessed that about you.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that.

  She fell silent for a moment, then said, “I’m sorry. That was rude. I shouldn’t make assumptions.” She hesitated before continuing, “I’m Skylar, but everyone calls me Sky.”

  “That would be a good Galdoni name,” I said without thinking.

  Instead of taking it as an insult, she gave a true smile. She turned and lifted up the back of her scrubs shirt without saying a word. My heart caught at the sight of wings skillfully crafted along her skin in the same black ink as her arms. They were inked from her back below her pants hem up to what I could see of her shoulders. The vines from her arms twisted along her back, entwining the wings in an artistic tangle of thorns. A single red flower had been worked between the wings close to the base of her neck. The middle of the petals was red, while the tips had been colored black, like the opposite of her hair.

  My hands itched to trace the delicate lines along her skin. I wondered how soft it would be, if it would feel like feathers or the smooth fabric of the sheets on the couch Kale had ordered brought up for me. I held my hands behind my back, dismayed at the urge and discomfited at the thought that with the gauze I wouldn’t have felt it anyway.

  “They’re beautiful,” I said before my tongue could show the same restraint as my hands.

  She lowered her shirt and turned. “Not as beautiful as yours,” she replied. The embarrassed smile that followed was heightened by the blush that rose to her cheeks. She shook her head. The neon light overhead caught the small rings and gems that lined her ears. She glanced at the watch on her wrist. “Do you want to see something?”

  I wanted to say no, but like with Officer Donaldson, I hesitated.

  She took that as my answer. “Come on.”

  She led the way to the hall. I glanced at Alana, but despite our conversation and the noise I had made with the chair, she showed no sign of stirring. “I’ll be back,” I promised in a whisper.

  I followed Skylar down the hall wondering about how different she seemed from the other humans at the Center. She led the way to the elevator and pushed the up button. Her foot tapped impatiently and she checked her watch again. The doors slid open to reveal the empty box.

  I had avoided the elevators during my stay at the Center, though I had watched my share of the staff enter and depart on the various floors. The concept seemed simple enough, but the box itself intimidated me. The thought of being caught inside such a small place without any means of escape sent a shudder down my back.

  Skylar turned to push a button; surprise showed on her face that I hadn’t followed. “You coming?”

  “I might stay here,” I replied uncomfortably.

  The shadow of a smile appeared again. “You’re not afraid of an elevator, are you?” Her tone was partially teasing, but carried a hint of humored curiosity. “
I guess if you consider the weight of the elevator combined with the fact that it’s hauled up and down by cables smaller around than my arm, it makes sense.” She shrugged. “But I’ve survived this long and if we take the stairs, we might miss it.” Her expression grew serious and she gave me her soul-searching gaze. “Trust me, Saro.”

  I couldn’t refuse. There was something about the way she said the last words as though they were both a question and a statement, beckoning and asking me to trust her at the same time. I held my wings close and stepped inside the box.

  She gave a satisfied nod. “It’s easy to fear something you haven’t tried before, especially when you look at it logically.” She pushed a button and the elevator doors closed. It gave a slight jerk and ascended with a soft whoosh. “But sometimes logic isn’t the best way to look at things.”

  I glanced at her. She studied the buttons that glowed as we passed each floor. The button for floor twelve that she had pushed stayed lit as we raced upward.

  She seemed comfortable with my silence, and even glanced at me with her curious look before turning her attention back to the numbers. The elevator slowed. The button for the twelfth floor lit up and the box gave a lurch as it stopped. Adrenaline spiked in my veins. I put a hand on the door in alarm. It opened with a breathy hiss.

  “We survived,” Skylar said before stepping out.

  I watched her walk nonchalantly through a wide, empty room. Tables lined the edges with a great view of the dark city beyond.

  “You coming?” she called over her shoulder.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I took a deep breath to collect myself, then crossed the room to the door she held open at the end. Short cement stairs led upward. She followed them quickly as though worried we would miss something. I jogged to keep pace with her. She threw open the door at the top. A brisk breeze chased down the steps. I stepped into the cool air and smiled.

  The Galdoni Center had been built a short distance from the city. Because of that, it felt as though we stood above the city of Crosby. Light touched the horizon, basking the buildings in hues of purple and gold. I could only stare. It was the first sunrise I had seen. Our cramped apartment faced the wrong direction, and Jake always made sure we were inside well before dawn so we could never be questioned about our escapades. The Academy’s windows had been tinted dark with bullet-proof glass. The only sunlight that made it through was dull and faint.

  Warmth brushed against us as the sun appeared. “This is my favorite part,” Skylar said quietly beside me.

  I glanced at her. Her face was turned toward the sun and her eyes were closed. The sun heightened the small smile on her lips. I willed my walls to fall, letting down my guard enough to close my eyes. A sigh escaped my lips as the sun bathed my eyelids in rosy hues. The light felt like warm breath on my cheeks and fell on my shoulder as though I was being wrapped in a warm blanket. I had never felt such a thing before.

  Skylar spoke softly beside me. “Whenever I struggle to remember why I’m alive, I come up here.” Her voice caught slightly. “It reminds me to keep fighting.”

  My eyes opened. “Why wouldn’t you be alive?”

  She opened her eyes as well and glanced at me. She crossed to the edge of the roof without a word. I followed her. The thought that Officer Donaldson would be extremely uncomfortable so high up brought a smile to my face. I gazed at the city stretched in front of us. It wasn’t as large as the city that surrounded the Academy, but it was big enough to get lost in.

  “I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to jump off.”

  “To fall?” I asked, keeping my voice emotionless.

  “To fly,” she replied. A slight smile touched her voice as though she spoke something she had never said aloud. “I sometimes imagine that the wings on my back are real, and I could fly into the sun and never look back.”

  “It’s too far away,” I said.

  She turned and I gave myself a mental kick for the stupid response. “I know,” she humored me. “It’s a dumb daydream. That’s all.”

  The derision in her tone reminded me of the voice in my head that pointed out whenever I did something stupid. I felt like she deserved better than that. “Want to fly?”

  She turned an incredulous gaze my way. “I should trust a strange Galdoni and step off the roof?”

  Her comment hurt. Defensiveness colored my voice. “I was going to carry you.”

  She ducked her head. After a moment, she looked up at me through her red and black hair. “Sorry. Sometimes I talk before I think about what I’m going to say.”

  “That makes two of us,” I admitted.

  She smiled. “Alright.”

  “Alright?” I repeated, confused.

  She nodded. “I would love to fly.”

  Now that she had agreed, trepidation filled my chest. I forced it down and scooped her up before I could take back my offer. She gave a little squeak of surprise, but with one arm beneath her knees and the other behind her shoulders, I was able to keep the pressure off my hands.

  “I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Skylar protested.

  I smiled and stepped off the roof.

  A small scream escaped Skylar. She clutched my neck tightly as we plummeted toward the earth. The windows of the Galdoni Center raced by. I spread my wings. They caught the wind before we reached the ground. Skylar’s scream turned into a bubble of laughter as we lifted over the trees and soared toward the city.

  “You did that on purpose,” she said, slapping my shoulder lightly with one hand before wrapping her arms back around my neck.

  I smiled at her. “Don’t you know you shouldn’t trust strange Galdoni?”

  She laughed again and turned her attention toward the city. I tipped my wings slightly to catch the morning breeze and let it lift us high above the buildings. “It’s just how I imagined it would be!” she exclaimed.

  “I’m glad,” I replied, and it was true. I loved flying with all of my heart. It was a part of me as much as breathing or seeing. When we were released from the Academy and I had truly flown for the first time, the feeling of freedom that came with riding the wind was every bit as great as I had hoped. Over the last year and a half with Jake, I had gotten used to it. I loved it and it still thrilled me, but seeing the world below through Skylar’s eyes filled me with joy again.

  I lost count of how many times I circled the city. It was different seeing the people and cars below in daylight. So many times I had flown through the darkness, but Jake had forbidden me to do so during the day. It made the world feel less sinister, more like the lives I saw on the pictures inside the homes I had burned, and less like darkness and shadows waiting to take me back to the Academy.

  Skylar checked her watch. A small sigh escaped her lips. “We’ve flown for an hour,” she said in amazement. “I’ve got to get home.”

  “Do you have a car?”

  She shook her head. “I usually take the bus.”

  “Want me to drop you off?” I felt reluctant to go back to the Galdoni Center; I didn’t want Alana to wake up alone, but she was well cared for and Dr. Ray didn’t seem to think she would be awakening any time soon. Sitting by her bed without knowing was tearing me apart.

  Skylar glanced up at me. “Are you sure you have the time?”

  “My schedule’s pretty full,” I replied.

  She shook her head with a little smile and said, “Alright.”

  I followed Skylar’s directions to a little neighborhood with apartments on one side and homes that looked like they had been squished together on the other.

  “They’re called town homes,” Skylar explained when I landed and set her gently on the sidewalk in front of the furthest one north. “It’s like having a house with really close neighbors, but better than an apartment because we have a little yard.”

  “You mean grass?” I asked. I didn’t know why someone would go to so much trouble to own a patch of grass.

  She smiled at my tone. “If you’ve e
ver been cooped up in an apartment, you’d understand. It’s nice to be in the sunshine without feeling like you share your quiet place with the rest of the world.” A hint of red brushed her cheeks as if she had said more than she planned. She turned to go up the sidewalk, then paused. “Want to come inside?”

  I shook my head quickly and raised my wings. “I really should get back.”

  “For your busy schedule?” she countered.

  I nodded.

  She waved me over. “Come on. My brother would love to meet you, and I think my mom’s still in denial that Galdoni exist, so it’d be good for her, too.”

  “Doesn’t she know you work at the Galdoni Center?” I asked. My heart pounded. I couldn’t put into words why the thought of meeting her family made me so nervous. I stayed on the sidewalk, unable to get my feet to join her.

  “She knows, but it makes her uncomfortable when I talk about it.”

  I gave her an incredulous look. “How is bringing me here supposed to help with that?”

  She crossed to me with an exasperated look on her face. “Come on, Saro. They’re not that bad.”

  I followed her reluctantly to the door. She pulled a key from her pocket and unlocked it. She pushed it open and voices immediately flooded out.

  “Sky, Sky!”

  “I made you some breakfast, honey.”

  A boy raced down the stairs. He grinned at Skylar, then his gaze shifted to me. He froze in the act of setting his foot on the bottom step.

  “William, Saro, Saro, William,” Skylar introduced us.

  I expected the boy to be afraid, but instead he stepped around his sister and looked me up and down. I guessed his age to be about ten. He had Skylar’s black hair and serious blue eyes. After a moment, his face lit up with a bright smile. “You’re a real live Galdoni!” he exclaimed.