Shakespeare Vs Cthulhu
Page 36
Mr Tony Hough
Tony Hough has been a fantasy and SF illustrator since 1987 and a Lovecraft fan for even longer. He studied Macbeth and A Midsummer Night’s Dream for English Lit and thought they were “quite good”.
His eclectic work has featured in many magazines, books and games as well as on a snowboard, which rocks!
Mr Russ Nicholson
Russ Nicholson is an illustrator of Fantasy, best known for his contribution to Fantasy Gamebooks, such as the Fighting Fantasy series, including the first such book, The Warlock of Firetop Mountain, TSR’s Fiend Folio, Games Workshop publications, including White Dwarf Magazine and for the seven books in the Fabled Lands series. Recently he has produced work for Le Grimoire, Dungeon World, Goodman Games, RuneQuest, Kobold Press, Scriptarium, Calific, Tin Man Games and the American folk punk band Blackbird Raum, as well as others.
Mr Neil Roberts
Neil Roberts is a freelance illustrator, sculptor, 3D modeller, writer, lecturer and comic book artist residing in deepest, darkest Lincolnshire, UK. He is responsible for the covers on the New York Times bestselling series, The Horus Heresy, which has sold over one million books. His art also covers 2000AD, Doctor Who, Battletech and much, much more. A classically trained painter, Neil spent many years in the video games industry working on a wide range of games and believes in applying a traditional approach, using modern technology, to create memorable imagery.
Mr Tiernen Trevallion
Tiernen Trevallion has worked as an Illustrator and artist since being convinced to leave school in the early ‘80s. Most recently his work has included comic strips for 2000AD and Renegade, illustration for the Black Library and cover and promotional art for Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here – Symphonic. Tiernen is also working on several collaborations and projects of his own, which may or may not involve angry puffins.
About the Editor
Mr Jonathan Green
Jonathan Green is a writer of speculative fiction, with more than sixty books to his name. Well known for his contributions to the Fighting Fantasy range of adventure gamebooks, he has also written fiction for such diverse properties as Doctor Who, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Warhammer, Warhammer 40,000, Sonic the Hedgehog, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Moshi Monsters, LEGO, Judge Dredd and Robin of Sherwood.
He is the creator of the Pax Britannia series for Abaddon Books and has written eight novels, and numerous short stories, set within this steampunk universe, featuring the debonair dandy adventurer Ulysses Quicksilver. He is also the author of an increasing number of non-fiction titles, including the award-winning YOU ARE THE HERO – A History of Fighting Fantasy Gamebooks.
He also edits and compiles short story anthologies, including the critically-acclaimed GAME OVER and SHARKPUNK, both published by Snowbooks.
To find out more about his current projects visit
www.JonathanGreenAuthor.com and follow him on Twitter
@jonathangreen
Acknowledgements
An anthology such as Shakespeare Vs Cthulhu is, like the performance of a play, the artistic accomplishment of many individuals, both those who appear on stage and those who work hard behind the scenes to help make it a success.
Obviously I must start by thanking the authors and artists who contributed their work to this book, to mark the 400th anniversary of the Bard’s death. However, I also owe a debt of thanks to Emma Barnes of Snowbooks, first for being so open to new models of publishing and supporting Shakespeare Vs Cthulhu from the start, and then for doing such an excellent layout job on the book as well as publishing it.
And then, of course, we come to the Kickstarter that crowdfunded the book in the first place. I must give special mention to Tim Bayley, whose short story Lovecraft’s Labours Lost was one of the perks offered to backers, and Nicole Wykes, who produced the postcards that were another Kickstarter reward.
Which brings me to those people who put their faith in the concept of Shakespearean Cthulhu, or Lovecraftian Shakespeare, in the first place and backed said Kickstarter. Without them, Shakespeare Vs Cthulhu could not have happened at all. So here’s to you, all of you. Or as William Shakespeare himself might put it:
“I can no other answer make but thanks,
And thanks, and ever thanks.”
Twelfth Night, Act III, Scene III.
Kickstarter Backers
Bottom
“I have had a most rare vision. I have had a dream; past the wit of man to say what dream it was.”
- Bottom, A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Roger Huntman • Andy Elijah Walker (Look, Mom, my name is in a book!) • Antonio Campos Jr from McAllen, Texas • Kenneth J. Wiant Jr.
Malvolio
“My masters, are you mad?”
- Malvolio, Twelfth Night.
James A Hirons • Jasper Bark
Richard III
“Now is the winter of our discontent, Made glorious summer by this sun of York; And all the clouds that lour’d upon our house, In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.”
- Richard III, Richard III.
Robert Biskin • Adam Matthews • Mark R. Froom • Hycgan • Jeremy LaMastus • Karli Watson • Heesung Yang • Duncan Young • Elisabeth McWhorter • Michael Carr • Sune Bøegh • William A Hay • Larry McConnell • Christopher Reed • Steff Green • Emily Cox • William Ching • Ayalon Levy • Vincent Rospond • Mike Speedling • Zack Kline • Mark Gerrits • Leshia-Aimée Doucet • Nick Tyler • Xeromancer • Robert Stevens • Henry D Weisenborn • Paul Freelend • Emma and Rosie’s daddy • Bobsacks • Justin McFarland • GMark Cole • Alicia Cameron • Loki Carbis • Bill Strangely • Chris Gannon • John D. Hobkinson (I voted to stay in Europe) • James Smith • Janet Oblinger • Vivienne Dunstan • Jason Hunt • Michelle Matel • Scott Campbell • Kevin T. Likes • Matt Sanders • Mathew Hargrove Farabee • James “Jeimuzu” Payne • Elizabeth Crane • Alexander Redshaw • Jon Auty • Justin Bolger • Flavien “Fl4v1en” Luquin • Yosef Maayan • Mat • John Merklinghaus • Lordspielmeister • Hayley Johnson • Andrew Craker • E. M. • Kathryn Luznicky • Nichole Doucette • Ashley Miller • Thue Eriksen • Rameses McQueen Taylor III • Tyler McCauley • Lester Smith • Melanie Spitzer • Jeff Lowe • Malcolm SW Wilson
Yorick
“Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy”
- Hamlet, Hamlet.
Danie Ware • Jonathon Green & Laurell Hamilton • Delusional Lies
Macbeth
“It is a tale, Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.”
- Macbeth, Macbeth.
Matthew Churchill • Matt Zitron • Ashley Knight • Steven Vest • Jason Seddon • Zacharias Chun-Pong LEUNG 梁振邦• Steve “LeBeau” Dempsey • Erik T Johnson • Brian Brunswick • Andrew D. Wild-Woods • Mike Scott Thomson • Colin Oaten • Martin Gooch • Master Theodore Drew • Niki Lybæk • Emma Holohan • Martin Andersson • 林立人 Lin Liren “Seeker of Truth” • Morgan Baikie • Heather L Telfer • Allan Schnoor • Jeanne Milostan • Jordan Semeniuk • Hiram G Wells • Jessica Enfante • PJ Montgomery • Thomas Walker • Corina Hinz • Stefan “Stephano Andronicus” Anundi • Pete Sutton • Joe Kontor • [Yes] • Anthony McClung • David Tavakoli • Jessica Wilbert • Willhameena Power • Jon Pam • Tiffany Michelle Brown • Mama Jane • Adam Kennedy • Pamela Adams • Paul Leone • Kerry T Peterson • Will Templeton • Snortlet • Rupu Gupta & Trudi Miller • Matt Bowkett • Cat Treadwell • David J. Graham • Vincent V Cava • Shannon Sofian • Adam T Alexander • Adrian J Wright • Jane Hanmer • Jørn Johansen • Robert K. J. Killheffer • Tina Mammoser • James Aukett • Kyle Verkuil • Doktor Martin Theiß • Richard Wysor • Andy Tregunna • Daniel J. Wild • Stephen Thomas Bayley • Marjorie-Ann • Eversong • Neil Sayer • Emily Beamon • Peter L. Larson • Scarlett Letter • J. Isaac MacFarlane • Antoine “Bardin” Dijoux • The Abhorrent • Luke Morton • M
3rauer • Therese Öberg • James Rose • Rachel Ferris • Yes
Falstaff
“The better part of valor is discretion, in the which better part I have sav’d my life.”
- Falstaff, Henry The Fourth, Part I.
Mark Patrick Oughton
Romeo & Juliet
“My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep. The more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite.”
-Juliet, Romeo and Juliet.
Ant O’Reilly • Megan Orr • DonDon • Steve Gill • Lennhoff Family • Zachary Brown
Hamlet
“To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come...”
- Hamlet, Hamlet.
JonJesus • Stuart A Harris • Adam Selby-Martin • Jordan Carey • Marc Thorpe • Phillip Bailey • Iain Smedley • Scott Maynard • Mark Myers • Mike Meltzer • Chris Douglass • Paul F. Murphy • R.M.Williams II • Eugene “Tinman” Doherty • Winston Kou • Russell Smeaton • Joe Abbruscato • Frank Lopez • Chris Angelini • Furrida • Stephanie Irwin-Booms • Émeline Dalmaz • Mark Lazare Owen • Traci Belanger • Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America (SFWA) • Keary • Susylee Hendy • Andrea Lo • Neddy Games • Michael Brookes • Robert P Stephens II • Keegan Christopher Duda • Paolo “Mathu” Pasquali • Ben Wenger • Philip Barnes
Henry V
“Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; Or close the wall up with our English dead!”
- King Henry, Henry V.
Eric Priehs • M.L.Goforth • Derek Mayne • Steven Parry • Kieran Scully • David Hemsworth • Andrew Alvis
Julius Caesar
“The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones.”
- Antony, Julius Caesar.
Katy Costello
Prospero
“This thing of darkness I acknowledge mine.”
- Prospero, The Tempest.
Peter “Malkira” Lennox • Matthew Carpenter • Jeremy Heitjan • Tim Lonegan • Jon Hudson
King Lear
“That way madness lies.”
- King Lear, King Lear.
Kieren Wilson
Bravo! Encore!
What, wouldst thou have a serpent sting thee twice?
Merchant of Venice, Act IV, Scene I.
Lovecraft’s Labours Lost
Tim Bayley
‘... there is an upstart Crow,’ Peele read, ‘beautified with our feathers, that with his Tiger’s heart wrapped in a Player’s hide, supposes he is as well able to bombast out a blank verse as the best of you: and being an absolute Johannes factotum, is in his own conceit the only Shake-scene in a country.’
Marlowe belched acoustically. ‘And what says Greene of me?’
The pamphlet was The Groats-Worth, Robert Greene’s parting shot to the world – passed now, according to Gabriel Harvey, of ‘a surfeit of pickle herring and Rhenish wine’ – just pressed for distribution. Peele had left their revels to acquire an early instance of said article from a friend of Nashe’s, Thomas Nashe himself being too addled to make the journey.
Marlowe had drunk quite as much as Nashe. But, with the aid of one William Shakespeare, had had little problem conveying the incoherent young wit to this remote London outskirt, upon the heath, there to meet with George Peele (who’d sworn not to read a word ‘til all were thus convened).
‘He says you’re an atheist and are going to hell.’
Marlowe roared with laughter and was presently so wracked with mirth, he nearly tripped over a shrub.
‘Not that I wouldn’t wish to dally on my want of art and merit,’ said Will Shakespeare (who sincerely did not), ‘or the damnation of our rakehell fellow; but does anyone hear that?’
‘Nay,’ said Peele and read, enough that they could debate who was Greene’s ‘young Juvenal’. But, when a brief silence strained the air he said, ‘Methinks I apprehend of what Will speakest. But whence comes it?’
Marlowe seemed to have perceived the same. ‘Thither,’ he said, throwing a finger to the treeline without particular interest.
‘Perchance there is more to be drawn from the mysteries of the Groatsworth, but we might first explore this other lest Greene’s sad tales bring us to close to sobriety.’
‘Damn Greene,’ said Marlowe roused to passion, ‘and a pox on sobriety!’
He pressed the flagon to Will’s hands, quaffing from it himself in the passing, then hoisted Nashe to his feet, and the possible young Juvenal’s arm over his neck.
Exeunt all.
By and by the trees parted. Will and Peele took a walk on to where the heath crested while Nashe perforce took a seat on the grass and Marlowe took a piss. The noise from below, cadenced words of some number by Will’s reckoning, were now clearer by their nearness, though seemingly obscured in meaning by the close prattle of Kit’s relieving and his punctuating belch.
‘Some performance, methinks,’ quoth Peele.
Of some variety mayhap, though in what kind Will was unsure. In the middle of the clearing below the black shapes of men moved afore firelight.
‘Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh whag’nagl fhtagn. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh whag’nagl fhtagn.’
‘I cannot make it out Peele, nor even the language.’
‘Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh whag’nagl fhtagn.’
‘Spaniards!’ young Nashe exclaimed and Marlowe’s sword was in his hand to flourish at no-one present, taking another swig of wine from the flagon in his other.
Kit was not fond of Spaniards and, amongst other qualities, impugned their skill with the sword.
‘Methinks not,’ said Will.
Marlowe shrugged and took another swig.
‘Is there not one man in all of Iberia whom you respect, Kit, in swordsmanship or otherwise?’
‘I’ll confess, there was but one,’ Marlowe replied. ‘One Inigo Mon...
‘Cthulhu R’lyeh. Cthulhu R’lyeh.’
‘Raleigh!’ Nash exclaimed then, finding his legs. ‘They’re chanting Raleigh! So... Cthulhu... means... Walter.’ (Will thought not again). ‘Or Sir.’ (And again on that).
“...an upstart Crow,” Peele once more read, “beautified with our feathers, that with his Tiger’s heart wrapped in a Player’s hide...”
Marlowe’s laughter burst forth again at the sight of Will’s face and, waxen in his mirth, he staggered over to him.
‘...supposes he is as well able to bombast out a blank verse as the best of you: and being an absolute Johannes factotum, is in his own conceit the only Shake-scene in a country.’
‘What’s a Johannes facto... factotum Will?’ Nashe asked, Will’s face clenching further as if the wine he’d just quaffed were instead the sour of lemons, changed for it in jest.
‘A jack, Tom,’ Marlowe took the burden of reply, ‘a jack-of-all-trades.’
‘Oh there is no sobriety to be found in Greene, Will,’ Kit amended, giving his friend a firmly supportive and companionable slap on his back, ‘nor even a little. Read my bit again, Peele.’
And Peele did, and more besides, over the faint hum of whatever was the performance down lower in the heath.
‘Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh whag’nagl fhtagn. Cthulhu R’lyeh. Cthulhu R’lyeh! Cthulhu R’lyeh!’
‘Walter Raleigh!’ Nashe contributed, ‘Walter... It’s getting louder, lest I am much mistook.’
‘Cthulhu R’lyeh! Cthulhu R’lyeh!’
‘And it’s... moved?’
‘Cthulhu R’lyeh! Cthulhu R’lyeh!’
Moved it had – and bodily. A detachment of the performers, now visibly robed, now displaying knives, now pressing from the trees quite in obstruction of the path they had taken here.
‘Cthulhu fhtagn. Cthulhu fhtagn!’
‘Cthulhu R’lyeh!’
‘Spaniards!’ cried Nashe.
Marlowe’s sword was out a
nd flourished before he’d even seen their assailants but duly his eyes caught their approach, Will’s and George’s also. There was not time for wit of word, only the biting satire of the blade’s edge. Swords were drawn by all save Nashe (though even he set himself to the task) and the charge was met.
If Will was at first shy, the cowled celebrant was all the more forward with his long knife. A hurried parry became a hilt strike to the face, and Will slashed at the assailant to his right on the backswing. Then a flesh-wards thrust to the first was necessary if limb and life he valued, and was duly performed.
Marlowe’s stupor had evaporated in an instant. He’d felled two in succession with sober thrusts and barely a parry between, kicked back another, and now whittled at two more, matching fervour with straight skill. The older Peele held off three from himself and an incapable Nashe sat on the grass, still attempting to draw his blade.
Will’s second assailant came at him again but impaled himself in his mania. Momentarily they were face to face, and in the time it took for the knife to drop to the earth Will discerned a likeness between the railing men in the wild lamplight. Indeed they had the complexion of the Mediterranean though their features spoke of mixed blood. But such insights are poor currency in the exchange of violence and the young bard pulled his blade from its body as more came to replace their fallen comrades.
‘Come whoresons!’ Kit Marlowe entreated, intoxicated now by the fray, ‘I’ll convey ye to your graves most presently!’
Yet Will himself was afeard and sober, the more alert to the numbers they now faced, pressing themselves from the dark. Even with Marlowe by their side they could not hope to survive. And then, at the back, he saw... something, something more inhuman in visage than the crazed expressions on the men’s faces... before he was once more employed in his own desperate defence.
‘Cthulhu R’lyeh! Cthulhu R’lyeh!’
In moments it would all be over, the fight, grand dreams of success, life... At first it seemed the new arrival amongst the celebrants would only hasten the end; a figure even more terrifying, a man of yet darker complexion and quite apart in apparel, breeches, doublet and jerkin of some Italian cut, quite at odds with the turban he wore and the wickedly curving sword he brandished. His eyes burned with their own brand of madness – some leader, elevated in style and lunacy? But the thought was dispatched as that blade took down two from behind in one biting blow.