Broken Pieces

by Carla Cassidy

  “Sherri, baby, you’re overreacting here.” He opened the door and she flew in ahead of him, her footsteps thundering as she flipped on lights and headed toward the master bedroom.

  He got there just in time to see her ripping the blanket from the bed and grabbing her pillow. “Sherri, what the hell are you doing?” he asked.

  “I could tell by the way you looked at her that you’d love to have Mariah Sayers in your bed. After all, she was the one you really loved. I just got you by default.” She pushed past him.

  “She was just somebody I dated. We were kids. Sherri, what are you doing?”

  She whirled around to face him, her pretty brown eyes awash with tears. “I’m sleeping in Benny’s room. I refuse to lie in bed with a man who’s probably going to dream about another woman.”

  He watched her stomp off toward their eldest son’s bedroom, her bottom jiggling with each step as if to torment him with a visual reminder of what he wouldn’t be getting that night.

  He thought about going after her, trying to talk some sense in her, but truth was he was just too damned tired. Sherri was high maintenance on most days, but when she got like this, no matter what he did to try to appease her, it was wrong.

  She’d probably cool off by morning and maybe sneak into bed with him for a little slap and tickle before he left for work.

  Work. The knot in his stomach suddenly twisted into a burning coil of fire. He left the bedroom and headed for the kitchen. He was too wound up to go to sleep and there was a cold brew in the refrigerator calling his name.

  He grabbed a beer and popped the top as he sank into one of the chairs at the table. He tipped the bottle to his lips and took a deep swallow. He was drinking too much, had been for the last six months.

  The booze was the only thing that took the edge off the fear that had been a constant companion for the last few months. If he was drunk, he wouldn’t think about the secret he had, a secret that could destroy him.

  Chapter 8

  A warm lick on the bottom of one foot awoke Jack the next morning.

  “I know you’re not up on the bed,” he said without opening his eyes.

  A low whine was his answer, followed by another lick. “It’s my day off, Rover. I don’t need to get up before the crack of dawn.”

  Rover, a black schnauzer, understood many things, but he didn’t understand sleeping in. He jumped up with his front paws on the bed and barked, two short yips. Get Up.

  “All right, all right.” Jack sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Rover watched him with intelligent brown eyes as Jack got to his feet and stretched with arms overhead.

  Rover danced with excitement around his feet. After three years the dog knew Jack’s habits better than Jack’s ex-wife had known them. He went to the bathroom, pulled on a pair of running shorts, grabbed the leash and fastened it on Rover’s collar and then headed for the front door.

  Jack had discovered the joy of running when he’d been in college. He stepped out of the door into the predawn air and headed at a moderate pace up Main Street. He loved this time of the morning, long before the stores opened and when the streets belonged to him alone.

  The slap of his feet echoed on the sidewalk and Rover easily kept up at his side. Every important decision Jack had made in his adult life had been made while he’d been slapping pavement.

  He’d been jogging when he’d decided to ask Rebecca to marry him and he’d been jogging when he realized he had to divorce her.

  They’d met their junior year in college. Rebecca had been a smart vivacious blonde who wanted to be a nurse. They’d married after graduation and for the first year of their marriage things had looked bright.

  Jack was establishing his own animal clinic and she was finishing up nursing school. He thought they were working together, supporting each other both in their career choices and in their life in general.

  Rebecca was an overachiever and had the energy of three people. She kept the house in perfect order and prepared elaborate meals while juggling her school load and working part-time as Jack’s receptionist. Jack had tried to get her to slow down, but she’d insisted she was fine.

  Then one night at three in the morning he woke up to find himself alone in the bed. He found Rebecca in the kitchen scrubbing one area of the tiled floor and from her jerky gestures, from her fierce concentration on that single spot of tile, he realized she was high.

  That night had been the beginning of broken dreams and financial ruin. It had taken him two years after that night before he finally recognized he couldn’t fight her meth addiction, that he couldn’t heal whatever wounds lay deep inside her that made her need to self-medicate. He spent an exhaustive amount of money sending her to rehab twice and after the last failure he’d given up on their marriage.

  Rover’s bark pulled him from the past and he realized he’d been running too fast. “Hey, sorry, buddy,” he said as he stopped, his breaths coming in deep pants. He picked up the dog and bent over partway in an effort to catch his breath, unsure if the physical activity or thinking about Rebecca had exhausted him.

  He didn’t want to think of her anymore. Thinking about her brought a bitterness to his soul, a hardness to his heart that was at odds with the man he believed himself to be.

  He’d rather think about Mariah and the way she’d looked last night at the barbecue. Hot and sexy. The minute she’d arrived in that blue sundress, he’d felt like a horny teenager again.

  When he’d seen her for the first time after she’d arrived back in town, he’d thought he’d seen shadows in her eyes that whispered of old wounds. But last night she’d looked strong and independent, and after the years of his trying to heal a woman who didn’t want to be healed, Mariah’s assertion that she didn’t particularly need a man in her life had merely intensified his desire to make her want him.

  He’d spent his high school years watching everyone else get the girl. He’d suffered a crippling shyness that had kept him from talking to the girl he wanted more than anything else on earth, a girl who had grown into a strong, vibrant woman he still wanted.

  She wasn’t immune to him. He’d seen the flutter of her pulse at the base of her throat when he’d told her he wanted to kiss her. If Kelsey hadn’t appeared when she had, Jack would have had Mariah in his arms.

  He set Rover back on the ground and turned around to head home. Mariah Sayers was back in town. As his feet began to slap the pavement again, Jack smiled. Things were definitely looking up.

  “You were right—it’s hardwood underneath.” Joel dropped the piece of living room carpeting he’d ripped up, and straightened to look at Mariah.

  “I knew it. How long would it take to rip out all the carpet and sand and varnish the floors beneath?”

  Joel shrugged. “About a week.”

  “Then let’s do it,” she replied.

  He raised an eyebrow and hitched up his pants with a thumb. “You sure you want to go to all that trouble and expense for a place you’re just going to sell?”

  It was foolish, she told herself. She should just put the place on the market now, warts and all, and take whatever anyone offered for it. She should escape before things got sticky between herself and Jack. She should run before the memories of her attack grabbed hold of her and refused to let go.

  Last night she’d had a particularly vivid dream about the attack. She’d awakened herself with a scream, the details of the dream already faded by the time she opened her eyes. Yes, she’d be smart to cut her losses and run.

  But she had a crazy need to transform this house, to take something that had been ugly and hated and transform it into something beautiful. It was as though she believed that if she fixed the house, she could somehow fix her past. Wouldn’t Janice have a field day with that little bit of delusion?

  “Ms. Sayers?” Joel stared at her, obviously awaiting an answer to a question she no longer remembered.

  “Rip it up,” she said, decision made. Foolish or not, perha
ps a bit delusional, she didn’t care. When she left here, this house would no longer be one of nightmares, but a showcase for a new family to love and a place to build good memories.

  For the next hour she and Joel moved all the furniture to one side of the room so he could work on the other, ripping up the ancient carpet and pad.

  “I’m donating this furniture to charity. I’ll call somebody and see if we can get it out of here by tomorrow or the next day.”

  “I’ll take it,” Joel said. “We could do a little bartering. I get any furniture you want to get rid of and I’ll knock some money off my bill.”

  “Sounds good to me, although Finn is taking the desk in the office.” She glanced at her wristwatch. “He should be coming to get it anytime now.” She’d mentioned last night at the barbecue that she wanted it out of her house and Finn had told her he would buy it from her. She’d insisted that if he hauled it away, that was all she wanted.

  As Joel got to work ripping up the rug, Mariah went into the kitchen, where Tiny was curled up on a rug. As she sat at the table, the pooch limped over to her and gave a small whine.

  Mariah reached out and scratched him behind the ears. “I knew it was going to be like this, buddy,” she said. “You know how teenagers are. They want to spend time with you unless a better offer comes along.”

  In this case the better offer had been the pool with Kelsey’s new best friend, Katie. “She’ll be home later this afternoon,” Mariah told Tiny, who sat for another minute of scratching, then went back over to his little rug and curled up.

  I’d like to kiss you.

  Jack’s words exploded unbidden in her mind. What shocked her was for just a minute as she’d stood in front of him, she’d wanted him to kiss her. Maybe it was the result of the two beers she’d drunk, she told herself even though she knew better.

  It hadn’t been the alcohol; it had been the man. The glint in his eyes had warmed her and the scent of him had stirred her on a lustful level she couldn’t remember feeling before. Oh yes, she’d wanted him to kiss her … badly.

  A rap at the back door pulled her from her crazy thoughts and she smiled as she saw Finn. “How’s my girl?” he asked, and leaned over to kiss her cheek. He thrust two Tupperware containers into her arms. “Leftovers from last night. Hannah thought you might like them. Potato salad and that green bean salad that Kelsey liked.”

  “That was so thoughtful,” she replied, and gestured him inside. She put the containers in the refrigerator, then turned back to face him. “I want to thank you again for last night. It was fun seeing everyone again.”

  “It was fun, wasn’t it?”

  “Hannah is great and your kids are darling.”

  He grinned, that wide, open smile that had always managed to make her feel better no matter what the circumstances. “You know what I think? I think we’ve both overcome the crap of our youth very well.”

  She nodded. Finn had no idea about what had really driven her from here. He didn’t know about her rape and the resulting pregnancy and even though he’d been her best friend in the whole world, she didn’t want him to know. She didn’t want anyone to know.

  There was one reason she would forever keep the secret. Kelsey. She never wanted her daughter to know that she’d been the product of rape.

  “I saw Joel’s truck parked out front. Maybe he’ll help me load up the desk,” Finn said.

  “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind, but you might want to take a look at the old thing and see if you really want it,” she suggested.

  He followed her into the office, where Mariah had packed up most of the things and all that was left was empty shelves and the desk and chair.

  “Are you sure you want to get rid of it?” he asked as he ran a hand over the polished mahogany top.

  “Positive. What am I going to do with it? Everything in the house is going.” She walked to the desk and found the tiny grooves that had been worn there over the years, grooves her fingernails had left when she’d been commanded to bend over and take her punishment.

  “Then in that case I’d be glad to take this off your hands. Hannah has been wanting a nice desk for a corner of the living room and this will just fit the bill.”

  “Then it’s all yours.” She dropped her hand from the tiny grooves that radiated with her youthful pain.

  With Joel’s help they got the desk out of the house and into the back of Finn’s pickup. The minute the hated piece of furniture was driven away, Mariah felt a new lightness in her heart. The desk, more than anything else in the house, had represented all the power that her father had yielded and the powerlessness that she had felt growing up.

  Joel had knocked off for the day and it was just about time for Kelsey to come home when Jack called. “Have you recovered from last night?” His deep voice washed over her in a pleasant wave.

  “Thankfully I didn’t have enough beer that I had to recover,” she replied, wishing he didn’t affect her on some primal level that was both exhilarating and a little bit frightening.

  “I was wondering if you and Kelsey would like to have dinner with me tomorrow night here at my place. I’m not a bad cook and you can meet my significant other.”

  “Your significant other?” Had she missed something? Read his signals wrong? How could she possibly read “I’d like to kiss you” wrong?

  “A miniature schnauzer named Rover,” he replied.

  She smiled in relief. “I’m surprised you don’t own a dozen cats and dogs. You know, a hazard of your profession.”

  “I love animals, but I have tremendous self-control.” There was something intimate in the words and again a flash of heat swept through her. “So, how about it? Dinner tomorrow night?”

  “Why don’t you come here? There’s nothing my daughter would love more than to cook a meal for a visitor.” And she’d feel better on her home turf, at least until she sorted out the crazy feelings Jack Taylor stirred in her.

  “Now I feel like I’m imposing,” he said.

  “Not at all, I wouldn’t have offered if that was the case.”

  “Okay,” he agreed. “We’ll do it your way for now. What time would be good for you and what can I bring?”

  “Around six and absolutely nothing,” she replied.

  “Then I’ll see you tomorrow evening. Oh, and Mariah, I still want to kiss you.” He clicked off, leaving her hanging on to the receiver as a wave of warmth swept over her.

  It was crazy that a skinny, nerdy kid from high school could heat up her insides sixteen years later. But there was nothing skinny or nerdy about Jack now.

  She was seated at the table making a list of things she wanted to take care of the next day when Kelsey came in. Her long hair was still damp and she was wrapped in a beach towel.

  “Did you tell Katie’s mom thanks for bringing you home?” she asked.

  “No, I didn’t. You know, because you didn’t raise me right and teach me manners. Duh, Mom.”

  “A simple yes would have sufficed,” Mariah said drily. “And you’re not going to believe what I did.”

  “What?” Kelsey grabbed a cold can of Coke from the refrigerator, then joined her mom at the table.

  “I invited Jack over for dinner tomorrow night and told him you’d love to cook him a great meal.”

  Kelsey rolled her eyes. “Mom, you seriously need Dating 101 classes. You shouldn’t have told him that I was going to do the cooking. You should have let him think you did the cooking.”

  “I couldn’t do that,” Mariah said. “That would be dishonest. If a man’s going to like me, he’s got to know the real me and the real me doesn’t do much cooking.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s like the girls in my class who wear totally huge padded bras. It’s so fake, but I’m not sure the boys my age are smart enough to know fakes from the real thing.”

  Mariah laughed. “So, what’s on the menu for tomorrow night?”

  Kelsey frowned. “I’ll have to give it some thought. I’ll let
you know after I take a shower and get the chlorine out of my hair.”

  “Did you have a good time?”

  “Yeah, Katie has some cool friends and they were all nice to me. There was only one guy that was kind of a creep. He told me his dad hated Grandpa.”

  “What’s his name? Maybe I know his dad.”

  “Ryan Kent.”

  Mariah frowned. “I remember a Doug Kent who was two years older than me.” What Mariah remembered about Doug was that he had been mean to her in high school, always glaring at her or bumping into her accidentally on purpose. “I wonder if Ryan is his son.” Kelsey shrugged. “So, what did you say to him?”

  “That I didn’t even know my grandpa, but what I knew of him I didn’t like too much either.” She shrugged. “It wasn’t a big deal.” She raised the soda can to her lips and took a long drink, then scooted back and got up from the table. “I’m gonna take a shower. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

  “I’ll make us some sandwiches for supper,” Mariah said. “And we have some leftover potato and green bean salads that Finn brought over earlier.”

  “Sounds good,” Kelsey said as she left the kitchen.

  When she was gone, Mariah leaned back in her chair and wondered why she had a feeling that having Jack over to dinner wasn’t a great idea. What point was there in getting close to anyone here?

  Oh, and Mariah, I still want to kiss you. His words echoed inside her head.

  She jumped up from the table and got to work setting the table for dinner, refusing to spend another minute thinking about kisses and Jack.

  As she and Kelsey ate, Kelsey talked about the kids she’d met and how she and Katie almost seemed like sisters. They liked the same music and television shows; they were both good in science and hated math. Katie even liked to cook, although not on the same scale as Kelsey.

  Kelsey started talking about a couple of the boys she’d met and Mariah saw a spark in her daughter’s eyes as she talked about a particular young man named Justin. Thankfully they had already had their talk about dating and had agreed that when Kelsey was sixteen, she could date. Until that time she could go out in a group, but not with a boy alone.