Passions

by Bitikofer,Sheritta

  But the one thing she could sense was how empty the bed was. She reached out to the other side, but all she felt were sheets and air. Rolling over, she tried to peer into the darkness, but it was no use. She could see nothing.

  “Gavin?” she mumbled, her voice still thick with sleep.

  When she heard no reply, she threw her feet over the side of the bed and probed around the floor for her clothes. When she found her phone, she used it to inspect the cellar. But Gavin was nowhere.

  Chloe’s nerves twisted with disappointment. After everything they had done, she thought Gavin would have stayed by her side until she woke. It would have been the chivalrous thing to do; at least that’s what she had always believed.

  She began to wonder if their lovemaking had been as wonderful for him as it had been for her. Perhaps it wasn’t, and Gavin couldn’t stand to be near her for another moment longer. Chloe didn’t want to believe it, but her nerves were a little too raw right not to think rationally.

  Then, her mind jumped to an entirely different conclusion. What if the hunger had gotten the best of him? Gavin had never gone more than three nights without feeding, and this was his third night.

  Chloe quickly got dressed, rushed up the stairs, opened the hatch and climbed out. When she turned to the living room, she saw Gavin sitting on the sofa. She let out a sigh of relief. At least he hadn’t left her.

  But there was a rigidness about him that alarmed her. He didn’t turn to greet her but blankly stared into space with a cold expression as if he were angry or too deep in thought.

  Chloe approached slowly as if a sudden move would spook him.

  “Gavin? Are you ok?”

  He didn’t respond. Chloe hugged herself tightly and stopped just at the arm of the sofa, watching him for any sign that he’d heard her. He didn’t move; he didn’t blink. It was as if he were a statue—cold and lifeless.

  “Gavin?” she whispered, terror filling her to unimaginable levels. Silence was the worst thing in the world to her. Silence meant that he was shutting her out and communication was broken somehow. What happened that she wasn’t aware of?

  Chloe moved to sit down next to him, but Gavin suddenly bolted from the sofa and reappeared by the front door, moving faster than her eyes could travel. And for the first time, he looked at her. She could see the fear there, a real fear that was tearing him apart from the inside out.

  She took another step towards him, and Gavin mirrored the move, stepping as far from her as possible.

  “What’s wrong? What did I do?” she implored.

  Gavin shook his head. “You did nothing wrong.”

  “Then why are you running away from me?”

  “I…” he swallowed, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  Now she understood. Gavin must be struggling with his hunger still, but he wasn’t in the mood for squirrels or rabbits tonight. Chloe’s hand unconsciously moved to her neck and felt for any puncture wounds. Finding nothing, she was thankful his self-control had held out for this long.

  “You wouldn’t hurt me,” she stated as calmly as she could, almost as if she were trying to convince herself. They had been so close last night, and so much could have happened while she’d slept.

  “Then why did you just check your neck?”

  Chloe pressed her lips together in shame and bowed her head. “I’m sorry. I–”

  “You thought I had done something to you in your sleep.”

  She looked back at him and shook her head. “No, not really. I… I don’t know why I did it.”

  “Don’t lie to me, Chloe. I know when you’re lying.”

  She took a deep breath, knowing that his raised voice was completely normal. Three days into the detox, he was going to be grouchy. Instead of arguing, she said nothing for a long time as the tension built between them. Who would be the first to talk about what had happened in the cellar?

  “You think I don’t trust you?” she asked, trying to keep the timidity out of her voice.

  “I don’t trust myself anymore.”

  She could sense the anguish in his words. “You seemed to do a fine job yesterday.”

  Gavin’s eyes squeezed shut for a moment before answering. “I don’t understand what kept me from accidentally killing you. None of that should have happened.”

  Chloe managed to take a few steps forward without him retreating in turn. “I’m glad it happened.”

  He shook his head. “I was completely out of line. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

  Chloe closed the gap between them and placed her hand on his cheek. But his skin wasn’t nearly was warm as it usually was. Gavin flinched at first then stood still under her touch. His jaw clenched tight, and his eyes closed, as if he were trying to block out something unpleasant. Chloe knew exactly what it was but tried not to be afraid.

  “I wanted it, too.”

  Gavin opened his eyes and revealed them to be the bloodlust color she had seen before. She refused to shy away from those eyes which served as a fair warning that she should back away. Even if she died tonight, she would die with the pleasure of knowing Gavin’s love.

  “You can’t stay here.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Chloe contested.

  “It’s not safe.”

  “It never has been.”

  Gavin took her hand in his and pressed it between his palms. “Go to the inn just a few miles down the mountain. Stay there until this detox is all over. I’m begging you.”

  Chloe shook her head. “I won’t leave you. We’re going to see this through until the end, no matter what that end is. I have the garlic powder.”

  “What if it’s not enough?”

  “It will be enough,” she insisted, bringing his hands to her chest. “We will get through this, and I’m going to be by your side every step of the way.”

  Gavin shook his head. “I won’t be responsible for your death.”

  “We’ve been through this already, Gavin.”

  He bowed his head and then looked around the room, knowing that she was perfectly right. They had gone over this so many times already. Yes, it was dangerous. Yes, he could hurt her. But he had enough control to make it through, and she was the only one who could see that somehow.

  Then he turned to her and said, “Lock me in the cellar.”

  “But it’s only the third day. You’ve made it through this far without being locked away. Can't we wait one more day?”

  Gavin shook his head again, red eyes following her. “I can’t risk it. I can’t risk you.”

  He leaned forward as if he wanted to kiss her but then had second thoughts and pulled back. Chloe wouldn’t let him retreat and met his lips with her own, his body stiffening until she released him.

  The pure energy that radiated from him was enough to make her a little more hesitant. The wildness in his eyes, and the lust that was ready to consume him, was so evident that it seemed to take on a power of its own.

  “If you want to be locked away, I’ll trust your judgment.” She swallowed the lump in her throat that didn’t want to budge. “But I’m not leaving you.”

  As if in a daze, Gavin finally nodded. “Promise me you will do whatever it takes to keep yourself safe. I don’t care if it means killing me.”

  “I could never kill you, Gavin.” Chloe leaned closer and settled her head on his shoulder, their hands still joined between their bodies. She could feel the subtle motions of Gavin’s head moving toward and away from her as if in a physical battle with his own temptations.

  It broke her heart to know that he was struggling this way. Like an addict coming down from a high, he was reaching the point where he would be inconsolable, nothing more than a raving mess of a man and beast. If only she could talk to someone who had been through this before and had come out of it alive. If only there were some blog or tutorial to guide her on this journey.

  She lifted her head and looked him square in the eyes, watching how the red in his irises swirled and seemed to pulsate
with his hunger.

  “I will lock you away on one condition.”

  “I don’t know if you can afford conditions at this point, Chloe.” His breath was wispy and hushed as if any loud noise might make his condition worse.

  “I will lock you away if you let me read your manuscripts.”

  Gavin dropped her hands and backed away, a look of incredulity plastered on his gorgeous face.

  Yes, she knew exactly what she was asking for—not only the manuscripts but his unconditional trust. They had exposed themselves to each other just hours ago in the most intimate way that any creatures could. It didn’t seem too demanding to want his trust, too.

  Whether he believed it or not, she trusted him. Why else would she kiss him when his eyes were warning her to stay away? But would he return the gesture and let her do something that not even Janette had been privileged to do?

  Raking his hands through his dark hair, he paced near the base of the stairs. His steps were stuttered and clumsy, so unlike him. The need to feed must have been taking a harsher toll earlier than either of them had expected. He hadn’t behaved this way the last time. Had their lovemaking accelerated the effects somehow?

  Finally, he waved his hands in defeat. “Fine. You may have them. But I don’t want to hear your opinions regarding them.”

  Chloe smiled very wickedly. “I will tell you what I think of them, whether it’s good or not.”

  Gavin wasn’t in the mood to argue and stormed towards the hatch in the kitchen. “Do you have a lock?”

  Chloe followed him, not willing to let their last encounter be this brusque and unfeeling. “I think I can take one off of the back door and fix it on. There's no time to go to the hardware store this late at night.”

  “Good. Do it as soon as you’re able.”

  He opened the hatch and quickly disappeared into the void. While Chloe fished out a screwdriver from one of the kitchen drawers, Gavin returned with his arms full of the manuscripts he so prized. She could tell by the way he clutched them so tightly to his chest that he was still not fully willing to part with them.

  She approached him once more, cautiously. When their eyes met, she saw that the crimson hunger had relinquished possession of his eyes, leaving the tender forest green that she loved so much.

  Her eyes stung with impending tears as she stared at him, knowing that this would be the last time she saw him for at least four more nights. It really wasn’t such a long time, but she had grown accustomed to his presence. Those eyes were always there, watching her, keeping her safe, and reminding her that she was wanted. Now, all she would have were the wonderful memories and the hope that there would be more days to follow.

  And she could see that he wasn’t thrilled about the arrangement, either. If it were possible, she saw his eyes mist over with tears just as hers were. Or perhaps it was a trick of the light.

  Gradually, he loosened his hold on the manuscripts and handed them over to her. Chloe took them into her arms with the utmost care, showing him that his life’s work, all three hundred years of it, were in capable hands.

  “Whatever happens, whatever you hear, do not open that hatch until the seventh dawn.”

  She nodded, her throat too tight to speak the loving words that she wanted him to hear.

  “Keep garlic in your bedroom. If I manage to break free, that should keep me at bay.”

  These were all things that she knew and understood. Gavin was simply stalling, waiting until the last possible moment before locking himself away in the dark that he’d lived in for so long.

  “Can I ask you one thing?”

  “Anything,” Chloe managed to choke out.

  Gavin stepped closer and reached out to stroke her cheek. “During the night, can you read to me? Or try to speak to me? I may not be able to talk back, but I can hear your voice. Perhaps it will make the next few nights easier.”

  Yes, easier for him, but not for her. She knew what it was like to have one-way conversations. They weren’t at all pleasant for someone who was lonely. But if it would soothe Gavin’s hunger, then she would give it a try.

  “I can.”

  Gavin’s hand slipped behind her neck and pulled her in for one more kiss to release the tension between them. It reminded Chloe of the love they made and how she wanted more. Every fiber of her being wanted to hold him as she had before and feel his caresses. Her cheeks grew hot as her mind wandered, but he pulled back before she had the chance to unleash her desires. And she could see the desire in his eyes as well.

  “Just a few more days,” she whispered, hoping he would take it as a promise.

  Gavin nodded and slowly backed away to the hatch again, their eyes never deviating from one another. And as he climbed down the ladder and closed the hatch behind him, she felt a tug on her heart. It was so strong and totally unmistakable that she had to keep herself from weeping aloud. She had to be strong for him, for whatever relationship they have or would have when the detox was done.

  It might have been silly to miss him already, but Chloe couldn’t imagine another moment passing without him close by. Granted, she had thought the same about Brent at one time or another, but never did her heart ache so badly as to have him leave this way.

  She couldn’t dwell on such hurts now, though. She had a job ahead of her. After setting down the manuscripts on her writing desk, she turned on the coffee pot to brew up a batch of comfort and set herself to finagling a lock latch to keep the beast in the cellar from escaping.

  Chapter 23

  Chloe rubbed her bloodshot eyes. Staying awake both day and night with only a few hours of sleep was taking a harsher toll on her than she had anticipated. Just two more nights and they were home free.

  At sunset each day, Chloe would go to the hatch door and talk to Gavin. Most of the time, she rambled about her book ideas or childhood memories that had taken place in the cabin. That first night that Gavin was locked away was not nearly as bad as she thought it would be. He was still conscious enough to talk back and ask questions to keep himself occupied. But the next night, she was not so lucky. All she could hear below the floor was the muffled pacing of footsteps and grumbles that didn’t sound quite human. Since then, her voice had gone unanswered, and Gavin had been completely unreachable.

  That is, except for the few hours of sleep she forced herself to have after sunrise each morning. In those hours, Gavin’s spirit came to her in dreams that kept her teetering between being asleep and awake. She would see his eyes and hear his voice mumbling incoherent things that she wished she could understand. But they were mere memories. She knew that, but each time she woke in her bed, she was sure that she felt him in the room somehow. The echo of his presence was too strong to be mistaken for anything else.

  When she climbed out of bed each morning, she made an extra strong batch of coffee and sat down at her computer to continue the work that Gavin knew nothing about.

  Being extra careful to decipher his handwriting, Chloe took each page of his manuscripts and transferred them into a word processor on her laptop. No publisher in their right mind would accept a couple century’s worth of notes and rough drafts.

  Chloe hadn’t told Gavin about her scheme, mainly because she was afraid of his reproaches. She knew that after the detox was done, he would find out and probably be furious with her for going behind his back in this way. But after the book became a best seller, perhaps he would forgive her.

  On the other hand, this might cripple whatever shred of trust he had in her. Chloe understood what a momentous and terrifying thing it must have been for Gavin to give up his manuscripts like that. Then again, maybe it wasn’t trust that had made him hand over the papers but his pure desire for her to be safe. It was a comforting thing to know that he valued her more than his own confidence in his work. There was no telling how this betrayal would affect their chances at a future relationship.

  Chloe gave a languid sideways glance towards the pile of papers she had yet to copy and sighed; nearly
half way through. Hopefully, Gavin would at least appreciate the effort she was putting out for his sake.

  Many times during the process, she wondered why she was doing this at all. Gavin had said that he didn’t want to submit his work to a publisher, and here she was trying to make it happen anyway.

  She understood his apprehensions and fears, but they were only another sign that he was truly passionate about becoming an author. Like he had once told her, if a writer was too prideful, they might as well just give up. To the eyes of the artist, nothing was good enough for the eyes of the public. Only when they fully accepted that fact could they hope to achieve greatness.

  And she had total confidence that Gavin would be great. It was evident in his stories. The way he used words was like an art form which put the great literary masters to shame. Her work was nothing in comparison to this piece of gold stacked on her desk.

  But Chloe couldn’t think about the future just yet. There were too many variables, and if one small thing changed, her entire life would be drastically different. All of it hinged on whether Gavin would survive the detox or not. And it was too soon to tell.

  What she needed right now was to get out of the cabin somehow. Over the last few days, she’d taken a break by going down to the creek as she let her tired eyes rest on the beauty of nature that surrounded her. That wasn’t going to be enough this time. She hadn’t heard another voice beside her own since Gavin’s humanity had slipped from him the other night.

  Part of her debated about going into town to talk to Miss Rosie, but she would be too tempted to bring up Gavin, and the old woman reminded her too much of the aunt that she’d lost. Her need for human contact had even made her consider taking a trip to the hardware store to talk to Bob, the man who had bought her sedan. Chloe wasn’t sure what they would have to talk about, and a conversation with a mere acquaintance would not satisfy her need.