Finding Redemption

by Emilia Finn

  Jon watches me a moment, his quiet contemplation unnerving, his smug smile even more so. My nerves get the better of me, wilting under his constant gaze, and I find my hand fluttering down to my top, straightening it and fidgeting.

  “You been good, Case?”

  Jon’s soft words have my eyes lifting and searching his again. I nod softy. “Yeah, I’ve been good. Just working. What about you?”

  He shrugs carelessly. “Just working. Tolerating Bobby’s pouting ass because your girl broke his heart.”

  I smile triumphantly. “And you said he’d send her on her way and she’d be happy about it.” I knew Kit better than that. I can’t believe I doubted her.

  “Yeah, well…” Jon shuffles his feet nervously. “We won’t repeat that too loud, since they seem to be getting along. I’m in unchartered territory here, but I’m pretty sure it’s against bro code for her to hear that shit now.” Jon walks by me, forcing me to gulp or choke, and he leans past me to grab the drinks. He throws the ice-cream in a mini fridge behind the reception desk then he grabs my elbow and leads us away from the front doors. “Let’s go get our spot. You’re here for the fight?”

  “Yeah.” I frown. “You don’t mind, do you? Kit invited me along. I swear I wasn’t stalking you or anything.”

  “I don’t mind.” He shrugs his shoulders like he truly doesn’t care. “You can sit with me. I’ll explain the fight to you.”

  “Yeah.” I nod and hide my dirty smirk. He doesn’t have to explain anything; we’ve been watching these fights for years. I even have my money on Wheaton, Hernandez’s competitor tonight. The Irish guy just seems to have the spark Hernandez doesn’t, plus, his tats are hot. Almost as hot as Jon’s. I let Jon lead me through the gym, toward a giant boxing ring in the center of a huge room and the guys I remember from the club turn to greet me.

  “You remember Aiden?” Jon reintroduces us and Aiden, who’s sitting in the corner of the ring, smiles and puts his hand through the ropes to shake mine.

  “Nice to see you again, Tink.”

  “And Jimmy.”

  “How you doin, Tinkerbelle? It’s good to see you again.”

  “Likewise.” I shake his hand too then I smile as he turns around, slumping back on to his butt beside Jack and his eyes find the screen hanging from the ceiling fifteen feet away.

  “Case.”

  “Jack.” I fist bump Jack, obviously not needing an introduction, then Jon moves forward to open the ropes for me. He climbs onto the platform, planting one foot on the bottom two ropes, then his hands pull up the top two, creating a gap large enough I could almost walk straight through.

  Jon’s spare hand comes down to help me, and gulping again, I take his giant hand in mine and hoist myself up.

  As soon as I’m inside the ring, Jon follows me in then lets the ropes snap back into place.

  Jon sits beside Jack, patting the spot to his right, and I sit down close to him, since Kit and Bobby are still coming in and there’s hardly any room left.

  Jon leans forward easily and shuffles the boxes of pizza in the communal pile in the middle. “Loaded or girly?”

  “What’s girly?”

  “Pizza. We get loaded for the men and wussy chicken and cheese for Sissy.”

  I glance around the gym nervously but come up empty. “Is your sister here?”

  “Nah, she’s not coming tonight. Loaded or girly?”

  “Why’d you buy her pizza if she’s not coming?”

  Jon chuckles softly as his eyes take on a pandering exasperation. “We get the same all the time, it never goes to waste. Last chance, loaded or girly?”

  “Loaded please.”

  Jon nods his head, his smile warm and sly though he doesn’t comment on my choice. He sits back again in the gap between me and Jack, then he opens a pizza box in front of my crossed legs. “Eat up, short stuff.”

  I deflate. “Two minutes? That’s all it took to start teasing?”

  His eyes find mine again, confused then shy then smiling again. “Sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. Eat up.”

  People commenting on my height, or lack thereof, is a daily occurrence for me. I’m firmly in the ‘cute’ category. At five foot two inches, I’m tiny. My best friend is more than half a foot taller than me. Even when I’m in heels and she’s in flats, she’s still taller. I’m always the shortest person in the room, always at the front of group photos, always at the brunt of the cute jokes. I can take most with good humor, I can laugh a lot of the jokes away, but sometimes they dig deep.

  It’s hard to find myself sexy as a woman when I look like a twelve year old girl unless I dress up and do my makeup. It can just get frustrating sometimes. And when all six foot and four inches of Jon Hart teases me, I’m just not sure if he’s teasing for fun, or if he’s putting me in the cute category. The little kid category.

  Even if I’m buying my steel underwear as soon as I can, even if I don’t intend to sleep with him; I still want him to see me as a woman, I want to be sexy.

  Deciding to ignore it this time, I take a slice of pizza, flicking the steaming sausage back on the slice before it falls in my lap, then I study Jon as I take a bite. His eyes are a dark brown, different to Bobby’s chocolate, but somewhat similar to Jimmy’s flatter brown.

  “Not working tonight then?”

  I swallow my food before I speak, though when it’s just Kit, Jack and me, we rarely care about social manners like that. I shake my head as the pizza slides down my throat. “No. I’d normally be working tonight, but I took fight night off. Usually we do something, but we forgot to organize it this time.”

  “Good thing your bestie met a fighter, then.”

  “Yeah,” I shudder dramatically. “Without Bobby, I might be home in my jammies tonight. So lame.”

  Jon chuckles softly. “Totally lame. So tell me something…” Jon considers his words before he continues. “With my best friend and your best friend now practically best friends--”

  I let my smug smile fly free. “You looking for a new best friend, Jon?”

  He laughs softly. “Yeah, guess I am.”

  “You gonna show me your trophy case now?” Please god, don’t. I don’t think I should go to his house, even with steel pants on.

  He laughs again. “Anytime you wanna see it. Actually, I kinda have a proposition for you.”

  “That sounds like it’s gonna be illegal.”

  “No, you dumbass.” He chuckles and bumps my shoulder with his. “Legit.”

  “Alright.” I’m so damn curious. I take another bite of pizza, then speaking through my mouth full, “Shoot.”

  “Wanna be my friend?”

  I let my laugh fly free. “I feel like we’re in kindergarten right now. You don’t have to ask, Jon. People form friendships every day without actually announcing it.”

  Jon’s smile is breathtaking, even while shy.

  “Wait.” I suspiciously search his eyes. “Is this one of those friends with benefits things? Because I’m still not really looking for a man.”

  “No, I mean a legitimate friendship. No benefits. Kit and Bobby mean something to each other, so I’m gonna see you around. Bobby’s ditching my ass for… well, ass,” he smiles again. “So I need a new bro.”

  My lip twitches. “You want me to be your bro?”

  “Well, that’s a weird way to say it,” he chuckles. “But yeah, I wanna add you on Facebook. I want to text you just to say hey, and I don’t mean the three a.m. kind of texts. Just hey. I want us to be cool.”

  I consider his words and I wonder if he’s full of shit. Though, if he stands by his word, no benefits, then this could work out. I could always use more friends.

  “Alright, Jon Hart.” I put my hand out in front of his chest. “I’ll be your new best friend.”

  Jon takes my hand, his gentle grip contradicting the bulging muscles in his forearm. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” I sit back again, sitting so our bodies touch all along our sides. He’s my fri
end. I legitimately feel like this could be a good thing. He makes me smile, so we’re off to a good start. “So my name is Casey Irvine. I’m a Taurus, and you’re a…”

  His brows pinch as he thinks. “Leo?”

  “Are you not sure? Because this is important.”

  “Why’s my star sign important?”

  “Because it matters! If we aren’t compatible, then we may as well not bother.” I’m mostly joking, but his amused face makes it worth it. “Leo’s are protective, right?”

  He nods sharply though his smile stays in place. “You could say I’m protective.”

  “And loyal?”

  Another nod. “And loyal.”

  “You’re a show pony?”

  Jon’s head turns to the side. “A show pony?”

  “You like to be center of attention? You like people looking at you, Jon?”

  “No.” He shakes his head. “No show ponying for me. Definitely not. What’s your star sign say about you?”

  “My star sign animal is a bull,” I tell him proudly, and he chuckles ironically.

  “That doesn’t surprise me even a little.”

  I glare playfully, but let it go quickly. “So I’m a very determined person. Stubborn is another word people like to throw around. I like to indulge; good food, good clothes, good shoes. Good times.”

  A smirk pulls his lips up at the side. “You gonna send me broke, Casey?”

  “Nah, I have a job. And my birthday was just last month. You’re set for almost whole year.”

  Jon’s smile is big and carefree, pretty. Bobby and Kit wander inside, and despite Jimmy’s smart ass remarks that look like they’re going to send Bobby into beat down mode, eventually they get comfortable beside me and I turn back to Jon. I was having fun before they interrupted us.

  “My birthday’s coming up,” Jon leans into me, bumping my shoulder with his to get my attention. “In August. Just so you know.”

  “Noted, Leo the lion. What do you like for gifts?”

  “I like cake.”

  “Cake?”

  “Yeah, I’d really like a chocolate cake.”

  My brows pull low over my eyes. “Homemade or store bought? Because I’m not really a baker.”

  “A real best friend would bake it.”

  “Has Bobby ever baked you a cake?”

  Jon laughs. “No, he hasn’t. But it’s already been established he doesn’t love me like a best friend should. Pretty girl turns up and he drops me like last week’s trash.”

  How could I say no to those puppy dog eyes? “Alright, Jon. I’ll bake you a cake. I promise.”

  Eight

  Jon

  Sunshine

  The day after Wheaton smashed Hernandez in the octagon, taking the title belt back to Ireland and cementing my brand new friendship with the beautiful Casey Irvine, I bring my phone to my ear, listening and smiling at the ringtone as I wait for her to answer on her end.

  I had a nice time last night. Besides my sister, I haven’t really had any female friends. I’ve had Bobby and the guys, and Sissy was always with us, but we never really invited other girls into our group.

  It feels weird, but it was comforting talking to Casey. I know she’s tiny, literally less than half my size, but I felt a maternal type of soothing from her. Like I could lay my head on her chest and just… rest.

  I just have to ignore my twitching dick.

  I’m trying to make a go of this. I wasn’t lying about Kit and B spending more time together, which means Casey and I will see more of each other.

  Friendship without the benefits is best case scenario for us. I want the benefits. But I’ll take the warm balm she unknowingly soothes me with.

  I’ve never felt this comfortable with anyone in my whole life. What Sissy, or Nell, or the guys offer me; it’s just different.

  I walked Casey out of the gym last night, I put her in her car and I watched her drive away. She’d told me earlier the area she lives in, and since we live in such a small town, I knew the exact apartment block she was talking about. I drove by on my way home, her car was parked out front, so I figured she was safe and comfy inside.

  Yeah. You could say I’m protective, but I don’t see that as a flaw. It’s my job to protect those in my life.

  The line connects as I kick my shoes off in my room and walk back into the hall. “Well hey there, Leo the lion. Whatcha up to?”

  She makes me smile, just like that. “Hey, Sunshine. I’m finished up at the gym for the day. Wanted to say hey.”

  “And it’s not even three a.m. You really are a man of your word.”

  “I’m definitely a man of my word.” I chuckle. “So what’re you doing?”

  “I don’t know if you heard, but there’s a big date on tonight. Some playa’ named Bobby is taking my girl out, so I’m at Kittens house. Prettying her up, picking out fancy underwear.”

  Can’t say that’s an unwelcome thought. “Do girls really pick each other’s underwear before a date?”

  “Just me and Kit. We’re tight like that.”

  “Sounds like it,” I rumble out, entertained by her wit, turned on by the images she plants in my mind of her and fancy underwear.

  “Not like that,” Casey rushes out. “We aren’t tight like that. So don’t get any weird guy thoughts in your head.”

  I laugh again, something she’s always got me doing. Feels nice. “Don’t worry, Case, she’s all Bobby’s. No weird guy thoughts as far as she’s concerned.”

  “Good then.” Casey huffs out adorably. “So Kit’s in the shower now. Jim’s downstairs with Jack--”

  My eyes narrow. “Jim’s there?”

  “Yeah. He’s a funny guy, you know that?”

  I did know that. I’d usually agree, but now he’s with my new best friend, he’s being funny, as in, he’s flirting, and suddenly I want to dislocate his jaw.

  Tomorrow.

  “Yeah, he’s alright. You’re upstairs?”

  “Yeah, I’m in Kit’s room, waiting for her to get out. She won’t be long. Bobby said he’d be here soon.”

  “What’re you doing after Kit and B take off?” She’s not staying with Jim.

  “I was gonna go home. Maybe order some Chinese food.”

  Good idea. “I could order Chinese.”

  “Okay… well don’t call for at least an hour. I wanna get my order in first. I’m starving.”

  When I mention to my other best friend I’m ordering food, he’s normally quick to invite himself over. I guess girls don’t work quite the same. Except Sissy. She eats my food without a second thought every day. “No, dummy. I can order and we can eat together. You could come over and hang out. Best friends hang out over takeout.”

  “Oh, right. Alright. I guess I could come over.”

  “I’ll text you my address.”

  Casey hesitates, her voice soft, hoarse. “Alright.”

  I frown and massage my chest at her subtle rejection. “You don’t sound keen. You don’t have to come over if you don’t want to. I can eat alone--”

  “No. I do…”

  “Spit it out, Sunshine.” Girls are weird creatures. Why can’t they just say what they’re thinking instead of making men guess? Bobby never makes me guess.

  “It’s just… No benefits, right?”

  “Best friends. No benefits. Scouts honor.”

  Casey giggles softly. “Were you ever a Scout?”

  “Nope.” I laugh, flinging my fridge door closed after taking out a beer. “But I’m a man of my word. I’ve had your number for a whole day, and not a single three a.m. booty call.”

  “That’s true. You’re an honorable man, Jon Hart. Alright, text me your address. I’ll come over when Kit’s whisked away in her carriage.”

  “Not sure you could call Bobby’s Rav a carriage, but it squeaks enough, if she closes her eyes, she could probably imagine it.”

  “Good enough!”

  I laugh again. “Good enough.”

  “Okay, wel
l I have to go. Kit’s out. I’ll see you in a bit.”

  “Bye, Case. I’ll text you.”

  “Bye.”

  I take the phone away from my ear and end the call, then I text my address immediately. I don’t even care if I look too keen. I’d never overthink inviting a guy friend over, so I’m going to treat this like that.

  I open a text for Izzy, since she unofficially lives here; she unofficially lives everywhere. She has a bed and clothes and shit in each of our houses. Bobby’s, Aiden’s and Jim’s. She’s welcome at any of our houses, and she’s always at one of them, though the majority of her time is spent here.

  Not tonight it’s not.

  Me: Where are you? Can you bunk at Aido’s tonight?

  I don’t suggest Bobby’s, because it’s not cool to be a cock block. And not Jimmy’s, because he spent the afternoon flirting with Casey and I’m pissed at his punk ass. Plus, he’s bunking at Kit’s to hang with Jack anyway.

  I head back to my room, tossing my sweaty training clothes to the floor and I step into the shower. We may be friends without benefits, but she’s still hot, and I’m still going to shower and not stink like a pig around her.

  So maybe she’s not going to be treated exactly the way I’d treat B, because I don’t give a shit if I smell around him, but not smelling around her just seems like the gentlemanly thing to do.

  I climb out five minutes later, wrapping the towel around my hips and head into my bedroom.

  If it were a regular night, if I was alone or it was just Iz, I’d toss on some sweats and a tank and figure that was good enough. We’re only friends, but I’m not a slob. I pull out some jeans and a navy shirt, pulling them on then I run my hands through my short hair.

  Good enough.

  I walk back to the kitchen and head straight to my phone. I glance at the screen and frown at the absence of texts from Iz. It’s been ages. She should have replied by now.

  I hit the call button, ready to find her, not even worried about her sleeping here or at Aiden’s anymore, no longer thinking about Chinese food or Bobby’s dating life. I just need to know Sissy is safe. My entire life has revolved around making sure my sister is safe. From the day she was born, nothing ever mattered to me but that she was okay, and that shit doesn’t go away simply because I met a girl and invited her over for Chinese.