Her First

by Mckenzie, Diamond

  Madison stood up and brushed the wrinkles out of her skirt. “I might as well get this over with.”

  They walked out of the house together. Charlotte gave her a tight sisterly hug. “Call me if you need anything. I’m sure it’ll work out.”

  Not believing her, Madison said under her breath, “Yeah right.”

  The drive over to Ethan’s was long and Madison almost turned around several times. But then she told herself, I have to do this. I need to know why he felt the need to lie to me. Anybody else, I could see, but Ethan. It’s like we’ve been living a lie the whole time.

  A light bulb went off in her head. “We have been living a lie.” She laughed uncontrollably as the tears flowed down her face.

  She parked in Ethan’s driveway. It took her a few minutes to gather her composure before walking up the walkway. She reached out to ring the doorbell but then stopped, inserted her key and walked in.

  It was dark in the house. She jumped when she realized Ethan was sitting on the stairway.

  “Oh hey. I thought you were sleep,” she said.

  He stood up and hugged her tight. Her arms remained at her side. “I was so worried about you,” he said and she could feel it in his gripping embrace.

  “I bet you were.” She walked past him and up the stairs.

  She could hear him behind her, but she didn’t slow her pace. She went into her bedroom and looked in the closet. She picked up one of her suitcases and threw it on the bed. She began opening up dresser drawers and throwing stuff into them.

  Ethan grabbed her arm. “Hold up. What’s going on here?” he asked.

  Madison jerked her arm away. “I’ll advise you to keep your hands off me,” she ordered him.

  He backed up a little. “I wasn’t going to hurt you.”

  Madison laughed. “I would have rather you hit me than hurt me the way you have.”

  Ethan stepped forward to put his arms around her, but stopped when he saw the expression across her face.

  “Madison, I don’t know what’s going on, but there is no way I would intentionally hurt you,” he told her.

  She plopped on the bed. “But it’s okay for you to unintentionally hurt me?”

  “I’m in the dark, baby. Please tell me what’s going on.”

  She stood up. With one hand on her hip and using her other hand as she spoke, she was within arm’s length of him. “Does Christopher ring a bell?”

  Ethan looked away. “Madi-”

  She interrupted. “How could you sit up there and pretend that he wasn’t your son?”

  “Things aren’t what they seem.”

  “When were you going to tell me? When the kid was eighteen?”

  “Calm down. We can talk about this.”

  “Please don’t patronize me. I trusted you.”

  “Madison, there’s a chance he’s not even my kid.” Ethan tried to convince her, although he wasn’t too sure of it himself.

  Madison shook her head in disgust. “You’re pathetic. You won’t even own up to it.”

  “I was going to tell you everything tonight,” he insisted.

  “Sure, and I believe in the Easter Bunny.” She turned and began stuffing more stuff into her suitcase.

  Ethan was blocking her path to the bathroom, but when she reached out to move him, he moved out of the way.

  “If you’ll calm down, we can get pass this,” he said.

  Madison turned around, looked him up and down and walked into the bathroom. She grabbed her toiletries from off the sink, walked back in the bedroom and threw the items on the bed.

  She pulled out her backpack from underneath the bed and threw the items into the bag.

  Ethan wanted to tell her everything he had been holding back. “Madison, I love you. I don’t want you to leave,” he pleaded.

  “You should have thought about that when you lied to me.”

  “This is a big misunderstanding.”

  “It sure is. I should have known you couldn’t be trusted.” She grabbed her bags and walked out the door.

  Ethan felt like his back was against the wall and before he knew it, he shouted, “You’re the one to talk!”

  She dropped the bags on the floor in front of the door and turned around. “And what do you mean by that?”

  He continued down the stairs, but stopped on the last stair. “You’re the queen of deceit.”

  “What else, Ethan, since we’re being honest?” she asked with a frown on her face.

  Her words cut him like a knife. He calmed down before saying, “Now that I have your attention, I’m not sure whether Christopher is even my child. We had a paternity test done on the first. The results will be back this week and-”

  She held her hands up in the air. “I don’t want to hear anymore. You’ve been talking to Sarah behind my back after I told you the hell she’s causing me at work.” She picked up her bags and opened the door. “I’m out of here. I’ll come back for the rest of my stuff later.”

  He yelled out to her as she walked, “But I’m your husband. What about your family?”

  He heard her say, “Correction, my invisible husband. You don’t really exist now do you?”

  He watched her throw her stuff into her car. She looked up and their eyes locked. Even through the darkness of the night, he could see her pain. He tried to walk further, but was paralyzed. She cranked the engine, backed up and sped away.

  He stood there for a moment before walking back into the house and shutting the door. Once inside, he let out a yell that would have woke the dead. He balled his fists and slid down the door onto the floor.

  Chapter 36

  Ethan couldn’t sleep. When he finally did fall asleep, his alarm clock went off indicating it was five thirty in the morning. He turned over. He thought about calling in sick, but didn’t want to sit at home and wallow in his pain.

  As he was driving to work, his cell phone rang. He looked down and saw the number on the display and felt disappointed.

  “Hello,” he answered barely above a whisper.

  “I get a better greeting at a morgue,” Frederick stated from the other end.

  “Madison found out.”

  “I take it she wasn’t too happy with the idea of you having a son.”

  “Man, it’s the way she found out. I still don’t know how she found out, but-”

  Frederick cut him off. “You weren’t the one who told her?”

  “Exactly.” He blew his horn and blurted out a few obscenities at the driver in front of him.

  “That’s my ear you’re yelling in!” Frederick yelled back.

  “I’m sorry. People in Dallas need to learn how to drive.” Frustrated, Ethan continued weaving in and out of traffic.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I hadn’t thought about it. I got too much going on. I can’t deal with this right now.”

  “I hate to say it.”

  “But you told me so. I’ve already beat myself up about not telling her about it.”

  “That’s not what I was going to say. You guys did rush into things, so maybe this will give you some time to really think about what you want from your relationship.”

  Ethan, annoyed at Frederick’s comment, abruptly ended the call. “Hey, traffic is getting a little too thick. I’ll call you later.”

  He hit the end button on the phone. He turned up the volume on the radio, but not even the Tom Joyner Morning Show crew and their jokes cheered him up.

  ***

  Madison dragged into the office wearing a dull beige pair of slacks and off white blouse. Her shoes didn’t match her outfit and she still wore her shades.

  Mya attempted to stop her, but Madison held her hand up. When she got to her desk, she turned on the computer and put on her headphones.

  Owen came over to her desk. “Are you alright? You look like Medusa’s twin sister,” he said with a look of disgust on his face.

  Without removing her shades, she snapped, “I’m not in the mood,
so I would suggest you leave me alone.”

  He backed away. “I’m sorry. Mya stopped by my desk and I was only trying to check up on you.”

  She forced a smile. “Thanks for your concern, but I’m fine.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah,” she said not believing it herself.

  She couldn’t see the computer screen, so she was forced to remove her shades. She glanced at herself in the mirror she had on her desk. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying all night. I do look bad.

  Her attention was on the computer when her email indicator sounded. She went through her normal morning ritual by responding to internal and external emails. She deleted Sarah’s email without even opening it.

  She checked her voice messages. There were several from Ethan. Whatever sucker. You had your chance, she thought. She deleted them without listening to them in their entirety. There was one message from Sarah. She deleted it and was about to call her and cancel their lunch date but paused. There are a few things I want to say to that heifer. She’s messed with the wrong woman. I’ll show her who’s in control of things around here.

  She typed up a memo and put it in her save file. She would send it to her manager as a last resort. A smile came over her face as she plotted revenge on her nemesis.

  ***

  Joyce walked into Ethan’s office carrying a steno pad and a cup of coffee. She handed him the cup. “I thought you could use this,” she said.

  “Thanks.”

  “I’m listening.” She closed the door and sat down.

  “Remind me to never hire another relative.”

  “Ha ha. What’s wrong?”

  “I swear you act more like my mama than my employee.”

  “Avoiding the question will only prolong things.” Joyce crossed her legs and leaned back in her chair.

  Ethan knew if he didn’t talk to someone he would burst, so he told Joyce what happened and how he was feeling. “I don’t know what to do.”

  Joyce uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. “Yes, that’s a tough one.”

  “She’s not returning any of my calls.”

  “Hmmm. Let me think about this and I’ll get back with you.” She stood up, picked up the steno pad she had laid on the desk and began walking out.

  “Thanks,” Ethan said to her.

  She turned around. “For what?”

  “For not saying, ‘I told you so.’”

  Joyce smiled and continued to walk out the door.

  Ethan kept hearing his brother’s voice in his head. Oh what a tangled web you weave when first you practice to deceive.

  Ethan picked up the phone and dialed Madison’s number. Just when he thought she was answering, her voice mail came on. Disappointed, he hung up without leaving another message.

  ***

  Madison looked at her email and confirmed the location of her lunch with Sarah. She looked at the time. She purposely decided to leave late. Their luncheon was going to be short and sweet and chances were that she might not have a job when she finished with her. She put on her shades, grabbed her purse and keys and walked towards Owen and Mya who moved out of her way after seeing the expression on her face.

  She heard Mya say, “She looks like she’s on the war path.”

  No one said anything to her on the elevator or in the lobby; as if they all knew she was a woman on a mission.

  She found her car, and when exiting the parking garage, she flirted with the parking attendant because her monthly parking pass had expired. He gave her a new one for free and she sped to the restaurant.

  Madison was able to find a parking space near the door. A gentleman walking out the door held it open for her. She smiled at him.

  The hostess asked, “How many in your party?”

  “They’re already here,” she stated as she walked away to look for Sarah.

  Sarah waved at her. She walked slowly towards the table. I can do this. Don’t let her see you sweat, Madison repeated in her head with each step.

  “Hi,” Madison said as she removed her shades and placed her purse on the chair before sitting.

  “Thought you weren’t coming at first,” Sarah said.

  Smiling, Madison commented, “I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”

  Sarah handed her a menu. “I didn’t know what you wanted, so I ordered us both iced tea.”

  “Thank you. That was very considerate of you.” Madison smiled.

  Sarah looked at her strangely. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes. Why shouldn’t I be?” Madison leaned in closer as if expecting Sarah to say something about the baby.

  “You seem different.”

  While opening the straw, she confirmed, “I am. Things couldn’t be better.”

  A waitress came over and took their orders. “Thanks for meeting me for lunch today.”

  Madison sipped her tea and didn’t comment. Sarah went on to say, “I wanted to talk to you about something personal, but I changed my mind.”

  “Why? I thought we were becoming friends.”

  Sarah spit out her drink. She took her napkin and wiped her mouth. “Excuse me.”

  “You heard me. You email me during the day. I’ve even kept your little brat.”

  Sarah threw her napkin on the table. “Hold up. You can say what you want to about me, but DO NOT bring my child into this.”

  “You mean yours and Ethan’s child.”

  “Who told you that?”

  “So you’re not denying it. All of this time you knew he was the father and you pretended to be this helpless single mother.”

  “I never said I didn’t know who the father was.”

  “But you never told me it was Ethan.”

  Sarah had a gratifying look on her face. “I didn’t feel it was my place.”

  “As a woman, you should have come to me and told me,” Madison said, getting a little loud and drawing some attention in their direction.

  “What good would that have done?”

  “I don’t know, but at least I would have known you were on the up and up. You’re just like Ethan said you were; trash.”

  “Madison, I wouldn’t go there if I were you. I haven’t turned in my recommendations to your manager on who I think should be downsized,” Sarah stated with a smile on her face.

  “If my name is on the list, I’ll make sure you’re the one out the door. Now how would you take care of your little precious child then?” Madison stood up.

  Sarah pushed her chair away from the table. “Look, B-”

  Before Sarah could get it out, the restaurant manager came to the table. “Is everything alright over here?” he asked.

  They both looked at him and then back at each other. Madison was the first to speak. “Everything’s just lovely.” Madison walked away.

  Sarah was about to walk behind her, but the restaurant manager stuck his hand out. Madison heard him say, “Ma’am you need to pay for the tab first.”

  Madison felt a little relief as she walked out the restaurant and got into her car. She placed her head on the steering wheel and thought to herself, I’m losing control. I don’t know what to do. My whole world is crumbling. She was brought out of her state of confusion by a knock on her window.

  “What the hell?” she blurted out.

  Sarah was yelling, “You need to get out of the car because we need to get this straight right now.”

  Through the glass, Madison yelled, “I suggest you move out of my way.” Madison started up the car and made the engine roar. She began backing up. Sarah was yelling some obscenities and following her. Madison stopped the car, backed up and came inches from hitting Sarah. She could see the surprise in Sarah’s eyes. She then put the car in drive and drove off. Looking through her rear view mirror, she saw a security guard walking towards Sarah.

  Chapter 37

  Later that afternoon, Charlotte and Madison sat in her living room talking. Charlotte laughed at Madison’s reenactment of the day’s events.


  “Girl, she could say you tried to run her over,” Charlotte informed Madison.

  “I wish she would.” Madison curled her legs up under her.

  “So she never came back to work?”

  “Nope. I was waiting on her too. I’m not through with her yet.”

  “Slow your roll. Your issue is with Ethan. You can’t be mad at her because it was not her place to tell you.”

  “Whose side are you on anyway?”

  “Yours of course. As much as I would love to see a woman like that get what’s coming to her, you need to channel your energy on getting things straight with Ethan.”

  “I’m the one who was lied to and here you are taking up for him.”

  “I’m your best friend and when have you known me to lie to you?”

  “There was this one time, when I asked you about my black sequined sling back pumps.”

  Charlotte laughed. “Other than that?”

  “I don’t remember.”

  After getting Madison to laugh, Charlotte continued, “Ethan lied to you. But he also tried to protect you. He’s not even sure if the child is his.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Let’s just say a little birdie told me.”

  “Frederick?”

  “I promised I wouldn’t say, but trust me. Ethan is as torn about this thing as you are. Call him. Talk to him.”

  Madison leaned her head back and sighed. “I can’t. I’m afraid I won’t be able to get pass this if Christopher ends up being his.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then make a way.”

  “I can’t.”

  “You can’t or you won’t?” Charlotte asked.

  Madison held her head down and closed her eyes.

  ***

  Ethan was working up a sweat in his home gym when his phone rang.

  “Hello,” he said out of breath.

  “Hi, Ethan, this is Adrienne. May I speak with Madison?” she asked.

  Taking his towel and wiping the sweat from his face, he responded, “She’s not here.”

  “Do you know when she’ll be in?”

  “You need to call her on her cell.”