Endless

by Amanda Gray

  The woman didn’t seem surprised by Jenny’s reaction. “Right now I want only to speak with you. Would that be all right?”

  “Would it matter if I said no?”

  Illyria thought about the question before answering. “Not really, no.” This time there was an edge to her voice.

  Jenny instinctively scanned the grounds, hoping someone else was at the cemetery even though no one ever was. She tried to gauge the distance to the iron gate at the front of the cemetery, wondering if her familiarity with the place would give her an edge over the two men in suits if she had to make a break for it.

  Probably not.

  “I’m listening,” she finally said.

  “We have quite a tangled web here, Jennifer. I’m hoping we can sort things out together.”

  “I don’t want anything to do with you,” Jenny said.

  Illyria tipped her head. When she spoke, her voice was icy. “And yet, our fates are entwined, whether we like it or not.”

  “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Let’s start with the book. Where is it?”

  “I have no idea,” Jenny said. “And if I did, do you think I’d give it to you after all my mother did to keep it from you?”

  “Your mother violated our rules. Took something that did not belong to her.”

  “And she hid it well.” Jenny felt a strange sense of pride. “Even I don’t know where it is.”

  “It seems you have inherited your mother’s foolish weakness for love.” Illyria paused, narrowing her eyes. “We know he’s here, you know.”

  Jenny’s heart nearly froze. She played dumb. “Who?”

  Illyria smiled. “The traveler. The one you call Nikolai.”

  Jenny held perfectly still, tried not to show any emotion. She didn’t trust herself. Didn’t want them to see how much their mention of Nikolai terrified her.

  “It’s only a matter of time, Jennifer,” Illyria continued, stepping closer until she was only a couple feet away from Jenny. “We will find him, are close already, if the truth is told.”

  “I don’t believe you. I don’t believe anything you say. How can I when you’ve been lying to everyone all along? Making it seem like you’re some kind of … of … refuge or something when really you’re a … a … ”

  Illyria raised her eyebrows. “We’re a very important refuge, Jenny. One for those out of time, just as we claim. We care deeply about soothing souls, offering help, righting wrongs.”

  “A refuge. Right.” Jenny chuckled bitterly, a little hysterically. “Helping those out of time? More like forcing them back from what I’ve heard.”

  To Jenny’s surprise, Illyria nodded, her hands clasped behind her back. “It sounds cruel, I’m sure, but only if one doesn’t look at the larger picture. Do you know what could happen if people were allowed to travel indiscriminately? If someone went back and foretold the future? Went forward and warned people of what was to come?” She continued, answering her own question. “There would be chaos. People would vanish, important discoveries wouldn’t be made, alliances wouldn’t be formed. No.” Illyria shook her head. “History can’t be tampered with and the future has to play out on its own terms. So there are rules. Travelers who knowingly use the portals know that the breaking of these rules comes with a risk.”

  “Of being sent to the bardo? Having their soul imprisoned?”

  “That is up to them,” Illyria hissed, clearly tired of Jenny’s accusations. “They may go back to their time if they choose. If they don’t, they must accept the consequences of that choice.”

  “Well, don’t be surprised if some of them put up a fight.”

  “Nikolai may fight all he wants.” Illyria’s voice was without emotion, all traces of kindness gone from it. “But if we find him before he gives himself up, he won’t be going back to Russia. He won’t be allowed to pass into another body where you might someday meet again.”

  “Nikolai will never agree to go back,” Jenny said. “Never.”

  “If you love him, you’ll make sure that he does. Soulmates are destined to meet again and again. That hope must be better than not being together at all.” Illyria turned her eyes to the sky. “The full moon is tonight. I suggest you do your best to convince him.”

  She turned without another word, the wordless men following suit.

  TWENTY-EIGHT

  As Jenny left the cemetery, the clouds again moved in to block the sun. Jenny rubbed her bare arms against the sudden chill.

  She was shaking, a little at first but soon so severely she almost couldn’t keep hold of the steering wheel by the time she hit the main road. She pulled the car over and cut the engine.

  She was in some kind of shock. Her teeth were chattering, her breath coming in shallow gasps. She was afraid she might hyperventilate, and she fought a wave of panic, forcing herself to inhale and exhale slowly and steadily until she could breathe normally.

  She needed a plan, and fast. Some way to keep Nikolai here while they looked for the book. One thing Jenny knew for sure after her run-in with Illyria and the two men who had been with her: the Order didn’t know where it was.

  That meant that Jenny’s mother must have been the last one to have it, which didn’t help much. It could be anywhere, and while Jenny might eventually be able to come up with a list of possible hiding places, there was no way she could do it in just a few hours.

  Despair crept over her. There was no way out. Nikolai would have to go back. By keeping him here, Jenny might as well consign him to the bardo herself. She knew that Nikolai didn’t want to leave, but if she asked him to go, told him to go, would he?

  And could she bear it?

  The thought of him gone from her life forever—this life—made her heart hurt. Just the thought of it hollowed her out, emptied her of all the hope she’d only just found.

  But if he went back, what Illyria said was true—there was at least a possibility they would be together again in some future lifetime. It was a shallow consolation when faced with the reality of being separated in this one, but wouldn’t it be better than knowing that his soul was lost to her forever? That he was lost to her forever?

  Wouldn’t it?

  Illyria’s final words reverberated in her mind: We will find him, are close already, if the truth is told.

  Jenny didn’t have a plan. Not yet. But she knew one thing for sure: she had to get Nikolai into hiding. Now.

  * * *

  She drove as fast as she dared, not wanting the delay of a ticket. She thought about calling Nikolai, giving him the short version of her confrontation with the Order so he could get some things together while he waited for her.

  She decided it would be too hard—not to mention dangerous—to say so much while driving. She kept her eye on the rearview mirror every step of the way, watching for someone who might be following her. As far as she could tell, she didn’t have company, probably because they assumed she’d be careful anyway after leaving the cemetery.

  She passed Nikolai’s driveway, continuing to her own. She may not have an obvious tail, but she wasn’t taking a chance of leading the Order to Nikolai. She doubted even they would dare come up her long driveway to spy on her.

  Parking the car in front of the garage, she headed straight across the field, running through the pathway to the house. When she broke through the trees she saw him, pacing the porch.

  His face lit up with relief when he saw her.

  She hurried toward him. “We have to go. Right now.”

  “What’s going on?” he asked, alarm written on his face. “What’s wrong?”

  She ran up the porch steps. “The Order just followed me from Morgan’s to the—”

  “I thought you were going to wait to confront Morgan?”

  She shook her head. “I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I had to know. And I’ll tell you all about that later, but right now we need to get you out of here. I went to the cemetery after Morgan’s and they were there.”

  “
They followed you?”

  “I don’t know. I was upset. I wasn’t looking. But probably.”

  He stepped close to her, putting his hands on her shoulders, his face tight with fury. “Did they hurt you?”

  “No, but they said they’re close to finding you.” She hesitated, the full force of the possibility hitting her all over again. “They’re going to send you to the bardo, Nikolai. Tonight, if they find you.”

  He looked away. “You didn’t find the book at Morgan’s?”

  “She said my mom was the last person to have it. The Order has been looking for it ever since.” She tugged on his arm, pulling him toward the front door. “Please, I’ll tell you everything once we’re away from here, but we have to get your things and go.”

  It didn’t take long. Nikolai was used to moving around. Everything he owned fit in the black duffel bag he’d brought with him when he first came to Stony Creek. They packed as quickly as they could and locked the front door before leaving through the back.

  Nikolai stopped, turning to look at the house. “I actually liked this place.”

  Jenny heard the sadness in his voice. She wondered how many goodbyes he’d said in his two lifetimes.

  “You’ll be back,” she said, taking his hand.

  “Where are we going?” he asked as they stepped off the back terrace.

  “I have an idea, but I haven’t had a lot of time to think it through. Let’s just get out of here and then we’ll figure it out, okay?”

  They decided to take Nikolai’s car. If the Order knew where Nikolai was, they would have him already. It was more likely that they would be watching Jenny’s house.

  Nikolai put the duffel bag in the trunk and got in behind the wheel. The engine fired up with a roar. He negotiated the car down the driveway, still muddy from yesterday’s rain, and turned onto the main road.

  They’d only gone a half a mile when Jenny saw the black car approaching, familiar even from a distance.

  She slumped in the seat. “I think that might be them. Don’t look,” she instructed Nikolai.

  A few seconds later, Nikolai spoke. “They’re gone. And you were right. It was them.”

  Jenny twisted in her seat, following the car with her eyes, catching a glimpse of the moon symbol on the side of the car as it continued toward her and Nikolai’s houses. She watched, waiting to see where it was headed. It slowed down and pulled into Nikolai’s driveway.

  She turned back around, her heart thumping too fast. “They found the house.”

  * * *

  She didn’t have a lot of options as hiding places went. She thought of Ben. He had become her friend, and she was sure she could trust him with anything.

  Then she remembered how he’d looked after he’d seen her with Nikolai. The barely hidden jealousy. There was no way she could lay all of this on him. Besides, he had his own problems.

  “Where am I going?” Nikolai asked.

  She tapped her fingers on the door handle, making a decision. “Turn left up here,” she instructed. “I have to make a call.”

  Pulling out her cell phone, she found the number she was looking for and touched the button to make the call. The phone rang four times.

  “Hey!” Tiffany said when she picked up.

  “You know how you said if there was anything you could do, I should call?

  “Yeah?”

  “I really need some help. Are you busy?”

  “Not at all,” Tiffany said. “My mom’s at work. Want to come here?”

  Jenny sighed with relief. “Sure. Ten minutes?”

  “Yep. See you then.”

  Jenny disconnected and was getting ready to put her phone away when she saw a text from Morgan.

  I can help you.

  Jenny almost laughed out loud. Right. Like she would ever trust Morgan with anything again.

  “What are we going to do?” Nikolai asked quietly.

  “We have to find the book,” Jenny said.

  “I know.” Nikolai’s hands gripped the wheel so tight his knuckles were white. “But it’s not looking good.”

  She didn’t answer, focusing instead on getting them to Tiffany’s. It wasn’t going to help them long-term, but at least it was something she could handle.

  “Turn right at that stop sign up ahead,” she said, “then stay to the left at the fork in the road and cross the bridge.”

  Nikolai followed her directions. The bridge was a half mile behind them when Jenny spotted Tiffany’s house.

  “Right there,” she pointed. “The yellow one.”

  Nikolai pulled into the driveway and they got out of the car. He took Jenny’s hand as they made their way up a narrow walkway with neatly trimmed peonies and hydrangeas on either side. They stepped onto the porch, large and wide with two wicker chairs looking out over the garden, and rang the bell.

  “Coming!” Tiffany called from inside.

  Jenny looked up at Nikolai. “Don’t worry. We can trust her.”

  Tiffany opened the door, slightly out of breath. “Sorry! I had to put the dog in the back.” She opened the screen door. “Come in.”

  Nikolai held the door as Jenny entered the house before him. Jenny made the introductions and Tiffany led them into the living room, where Jenny sank onto the sofa, feeling safe for the first time in hours.

  Tiffany’s house was small, with low ceilings and tightly packed furniture that would have made Jenny’s dad cringe. But Jenny loved its cozy informality and earthy decor, complete with macrame plant hangers and more candles than she could count.

  Nikolai sat next to her on the sofa, body angled forward like he was ready to run, while Tiffany took a seat on the love seat across from them.

  “What’s going on? You sounded upset on the phone.”

  “I’m in trouble,” Jenny blurted. She glanced at Nikolai. “We’re in trouble.”

  “Then you better talk fast,” Tiffany said.

  Jenny filled her in. There wasn’t time to ease her into everything that had happened, so she just told her what had happened since they’d last spoken. She told Tiffany about her mom and the Order and how she’d stolen the book for Jenny. About how the Order was close to finding Nikolai and how they only had a few hours to find the book before the Order could send Nikolai to the bardo.

  Nikolai was silent while Tiffany listened. When Jenny was done, Tiffany sat there with a look of intense concentration. When she spoke, it was to say something totally unexpected.

  “What about Ben?”

  “Ben?” Jenny asked. “What about him? He has nothing to do with this.”

  “How do you know?”

  Jenny shook her head. “Because, other than the dream we shared—”

  “Exactly,” Tiffany said. “Ben and Nikolai were both in that first vision, right? The one with the music box?”

  “What music box?” Nikolai asked.

  Jenny looked at him, realizing for the first time that in all the confusion, she’d never told Nikolai about the music box. She told him now, giving him all the detail she could remember from the shared dream with Ben.

  “But you were still you in the dream,” she finished. “Ben was someone else. I think his name was Sergei.”

  Nikolai’s face drained of color. “Sergei.” He practically spit the name from his mouth.

  “You knew him? In Russia?”

  Nikolai stood, pacing to the window, his body coiled with tension. “He could have saved you, too. We both could have.”

  “What are you saying, exactly?” Tiffany asked.

  “Sergei was the son of a high-ranking Bolshevik. Before things turned horrific, there were rumors that a marriage might be arranged between him and one of the Romanov daughters, a union that might ease tensions between the two factions. But when the situation deteriorated he did nothing to help you.”

  “That makes sense,” Tiffany said slowly.

  Jenny shook her head. “It does?”

  Tiffany nodded. “You said Nikolai came here fro
m that time.”

  “Right … ”

  “Okay, but you didn’t. Not the way Nikolai did. You were reincarnated from that time. And if you were reincarnated from that time, why not Ben?”

  Jenny was starting to see where Tiffany was headed.

  “Think about it,” Tiffany continued. “If you’re some kind of past-life medium and you and Ben shared a dream set in the past, isn’t it possible you both had the vision for a reason?”

  Jenny thought back to what Nikolai had said about people with unresolved issues. “You mean because we have some kind of unfinished business?”

  Tiffany nodded. “Nikolai doesn’t have unfinished business. He’s here with you. But maybe you had the vision with Ben because he has something to work out with you.”

  Jenny hadn’t thought about it before, but it made sense. Ben wasn’t exactly the happiest, most well-adjusted person on the planet. She’d just assumed it was because of everything that had happened with his dad. But what if it was more?

  They sat in silence for a minute before Jenny spoke again. “Even if this is all true, what am I supposed to do with it? And what about Nikolai? I can’t do anything for anyone until we figure out how to keep him away from the Order.”

  “I honestly don’t know,” Tiffany said. “But it seems like it’s Nikolai’s decision more than yours.”

  Jenny looked from Tiffany to Nikolai and back again. “What do you mean?”

  Tiffany shrugged. “Unless you find the book, he’s either going to lose you or lose his soul. Seems to me like that’s a decision a person should get to make for himself.”

  The words were still echoing in Jenny’s mind when her phone vibrated in her bag. By the time she found it, the phone had stopped ringing. She was startled to see that the missed call was only one of three from Ben. She hadn’t heard her phone until the last time. And that wasn’t all. She’d missed five texts from him, too.

  The first one was simple enough. Hey … Can you give me a ride?

  But they got increasingly more urgent. When Jenny came to the final one, dread flooded her body.

  Something bad has happened. Call me now.