by A. C. Wilson
Nora stayed on that bed for a while before her limbs were stiff and the loss of blood was starting to make them painful. She stretched out and looked up at the ceiling of the cabin. The small windows let in light from the morning that was quickly fading. Her head still hurt from the alcohol last night and probably more than a little from thinking too much. Her stomach growled and then rumbled.
Breakfast.
She wasn’t sure she was ready to do battle with Randy again, but food was a necessity. Without that and coffee, she might just be in the mood to kick some butt. Sliding off the bed, Nora caught a glimpse in the mirror on the wall. Her mouth fell open as she took a second look. All she was wearing was her blouse from last night and her underwear. She looked quickly around to locate her pants and found them on the floor. Squeezing her eyes closed, she mentally cursed herself for not thinking clearly. It was even more embarrassing that she had confronted Randy in his room while she was showing a good amount of skin.
Today just got a whole lot better.
Chapter 15
Nora took her coffee and bagel down to the pond behind the cabin. She still couldn’t pull herself out of her foul mood and apparently the third cup of coffee couldn’t do it either. Everything was so off kilter that it didn’t even seem possible to set it all right. Tripping over a large clump of grass, Nora cursed the spilt coffee.
Two and half cups of coffee. That annoyingly observant voice was at it again and she felt like an individual pulled in half. Locating a wooden Adirondack chair by the water’s edge, Nora surveyed it for its sturdiness and then deeming it safe enough, she took a seat. Settling her back against the frame, Nora sighed and tipped her head back to feel the sunshine on her face. The soft, clear air filled her lungs and she held onto that peace. The birds were calling to each other as they flitted about the aspens. A rustle would occasionally come from the short bushes. A squirrel would dash out into the open with another squirrel immediately on its tail.
Nora watched those squirrels run up the tree trunk, down the base and into the bushes. Seconds or minutes later they would come scurrying out into the open again. She sipped what was left of her coffee and noted just how exhausted she was. She was mentally and physically exhausted. For years she had been so focused on life’s schedule, she had done very little for herself. She moved her attention from the squirrels to the reflection of the sky across the water. A gentle breeze rippled the water and then it touched her cheeks. She inhaled the moment of purity and clarity. It was certainly clear that she had no idea what would happen next, but presently, did it matter? Did she have to make decisions right this second?
Occasionally a fish would break the surface of the pond and once a turtle crawled onto a shallow log. She watched the turtle as he struggled to balance his stocky body on the floating log. After several tries, he made it and stretched his head out proudly. Nora grinned at how rewarding perseverance could be. She knew the only thing she had doggedly pursued was being the best mother she could be. For that reason, she had no regrets about keeping and raising Drew. He was often the only reason she fought to get up each day after being knocked down. Sometimes he was the sole reason she had any sanity left.
Isn’t Drew also the reason you risked telling Colt now? She leaned her head back against the chair and closed her eyes tightly. Nora knew she could use Drew as an excuse for a great many things, but as much as she loved her son, he wasn’t the reason she had dropped the bomb on Colt. That reason was entirely selfish to see if they could come together as a family.
Don’t you already have a family? That was entirely true too. She did have a family and one that had never failed her. They had always supported her and loved Drew. If there were any discontent with the choices she had made, no one had ever spoken of them to her. They had had her back from the very beginning. If she wasn’t mistaken, they had her back now. Nora shook her head considering that she felt a heavy hand of her brothers involved in Randy’s sudden change.
She didn’t recognize her husband last night at the concert until she was looking up into those stormy eyes. He was dressed differently, yes, but it was also the way he carried himself. There was a boldness to the man of quiet confidence. There was a boil happening to the man of tepid waters. It was like Randy had focused firmly on something for the first time in his life and that intense energy was directed towards her. It unnerved her in an unsettling way. Nora still stared out at the water. Her head started to thump with the riot of thoughts bouncing around in there.
A beautiful place like this is wasted in thought. Trying to even see past this moment was doing a great disservice to the beauty and wonder all around her. She wasn’t sure if she could sit and do nothing, but she wanted to try. She figured if nothing else her sanity depended on it.
***
Randy watched Nora walk out of the house, down the full deck and out to the pond at the edge of the property. He had purposely steered clear of her while she fixed her coffee. He had to silently praise Andy’s quick thinking at sending along some food staples or they would have been starving. His head was not completely in place at the moment. It was rather difficult to wrap any firm train of thoughts around what he had done in the last forty-eight hours.
Randy pulled a mug from the cupboard and took the handle of the coffee carafe. The steaming fragrance teased his senses and his stomach growled loudly. He saw a toaster at the edge of the counter and plugged it in. Inserting a couple pieces of bread, he went in search of the small tub of butter in the fridge. Randy managed to smirk at himself. It was so easy to fall into a daily routine and totally miss what was going on in life. He was all for acknowledging that he had buried his head in the sand to avoid the conflict that was rising in his marriage. It was an entirely disturbing feeling to know he know had to do something about it in a matter of days when it should have been a work in progress the whole time.
The toast popped up and he reached for the slices. His mind totally distracted by Nora out in the wooden chair, he buttered his finger. Shaking his head and grumbling, Randy wiped it off and stood looking out the sliding glass patio door. This place was beautiful and breathtakingly quiet. It was ideal for thinking, but he wasn’t sure if it was good for speaking. He didn’t want to retreat within himself and not say exactly what he needed too. He needed Nora to speak to him as well. He needed to know in an honest, simple way what he was up against.
Who is Colt Cavanaugh?
What is his role in this relationship?
Randy could probably argue six days from Sunday that Colt Cavanaugh didn’t have a role in Nora and his relationship, but that wouldn’t be true at all. Colt was Drew’s biological father. It would be the truth for the rest of their lives. As much as Randy loved Drew as his own son, he would never deny the boy the identity and hopefully the affection of his father. Make no mistake that Randy would always protect the boy!
Randy bit into his toast and continued to watch his wife as she sat with her back to him. It twisted him in knots wondering what was going on in her mind. Was she silently cursing him to hell? Was she making plans to get away as quickly as she could? Did she want Colt to be her husband and not him? Was she going to rip his heart out and never look back? The mass of swirling uncertainty was wreaking havoc on him and it didn’t sit well. He was a man of quiet, purposeful action. It was time to do just that. It was time to woo and win over his wife before someone else did.
Drinking down his coffee and taking another bite of his toast, Randy decided to take a less conspicuous tact. Maybe it was possible to remember their roots and where he first fell in love with Nora Johnson.
Breathing in the fresh, cooler air outside the cabin, Randy clutched the two fishing poles and his tackle box. Something about being outside brushed the fog in his mind aside and allowed him to think clearly. He didn’t think she had heard him come down from the cabin through the grass. Her dark head was leaning back against the wooden Adirondack chair, but he couldn’t see her face. She had pulled on a pair of jeans and a
light pullover. Her boots were wet from the dew on the grass and they rested towards the end of the chair. He couldn’t help but follow each merciful inch of her boot to her leg and up the lean contours to her hip. The pullover obscured anymore of her body from definition, but he could still see the sleek lines of her body.
Absence was a cruel mistress and he had been absent for a very long time. At first he had only craved Nora physically and it was something he could ignore well enough. Occasionally it would almost break his grip, but he could never blame Nora for their lack of less passionate activities. Now he longed for her wit, her warmth, and her love. Pairing that with the lack of intimacy and he was a cowboy damn near on the edge of begging! Randy took a deep breath and continued to the pond’s bank. He managed to make it a few feet further before a snapping stick under his boot made Nora just about jump out of her skin.
“Oh my god!” The breathless, panicky words left her mouth as she sat up startled in the chair.
“Sorry.” Randy muttered as she stared at him with her beautiful mouth half open. He fought not to grin as he figured out quickly that she had dozed off. He was still tired too.
“What are you doing down here? Can’t I go anywhere without you following me?” Her voice was dripping with disdain and maybe a bit of confusion. He could build on her confusion, but hating him would never do.
“Fish for dinner?” He lifted the two fishing rods in his hand and gestured towards the pond. He had no idea what might be in there, but honestly, it wasn’t about the aquatic catch today. He was out for a much larger and more valuable treasure.
“That’s original.” Nora murmured from her seat and she cast her glance back out to the water. Randy studied her face for a minute longer, wondering why he thought he saw fear. There was so much he didn’t understand and so many facets of his wife’s character that he had no intimacy with at all. Unwillingly he heard Garrett’s voice in his head.
In each layer you’ll find a treasure. Each value to be determined by the hunter.
Randy busied himself with fixing the poles up and finding the right lures from his box. Everything was quiet around them and even the birds had stopped chirping. It was like they all held their breaths to see what would happen next.
“Do you remember the first time we met?” Randy asked, careful to keep his eyes averted from Nora’s. There was no guarantee she would even speak to him. She didn’t deign to answer and he simply went on. “You were riding that beautiful Appaloosa mare along the road towards home. You were wearing a pair of cutoff shorts and cowboy boots.” He smiled to himself unable to keep the genuine feelings from bubbling to the surface.
“It was summer. I was almost always in shorts. That’s an easy guess.” Nora attempted to put him in his place, but he wasn’t about to let her.
“You were wearing that red top that tied behind your neck and left your back exposed to the sun.” And me. He wanted to add but wisely bit it back. He could almost see her sitting on that mare like a wild princess with her dark hair pulled into a ponytail.
“It was my favorite halter top. It disappeared after that summer.” Nora was seeing it in her mind’s eye and he carefully stepped amidst the land mines. Any detonation could be brutal at this point.
“I was on my way to Crossing Pines to interview with your dad for a job.” Randy had been looking for a ranch hand job and someone had told him Travis Johnson was looking for a couple of young guys. It seemed ideal. He was just out of college, looking for a chance to make a stand and put some roots down. The Crossing Pines and the rancher’s daughter had proved Hot Springs was the place he wanted to be.
“I remember. Dad hired you that afternoon as I recall.” Nora sat up in the chair and pulled her feet towards her chest. She rested her chin on her knees and kept looking out at the water. Randy nodded.
“He did. Oh gosh, I don’t think I’d ever thrown so many hay bales in my life before coming to the Crossing Pines.” He chuckled as he cast a line out into the water. “I bought IcyHot ointment every week. I used muscles I never knew existed.”
Nora nodded and the trip down memory lane softened her face. It was encouraging, but he wasn’t ready to let his guard down just yet.
“I know. My brothers made fun of you.” Nora threw a glance his way and then quickly swung it away.
“I took some ribbing that summer.” Randy cast out the other line and then positioned the poles on the bank. The orange bobbers bounced on the surface in the light breeze. He looked around, but the grass was still wet. The only chair down by the pond was the one Nora was already sitting in. He heard Nora shift again and she moved her legs to bare the end of the chair. She didn’t say anything and he didn’t either. He simply sat down. It was probably the only olive branch he would get today.
“Do you remember the first time we went fishing?” Randy asked as he rubbed his palms together more from anxiousness than the chill. Nora refused to look at him.
“You pushed me in the creek.” It was a statement that made him bark with laughter. Nora lifted her chin and shook her head at him. He ran a palm over his jawline and wrinkled his nose.
“I didn’t push you in the water. You fell.” He couldn’t contain the wicked smile that curved his lips and it only got worse when she gave him a dirty look. She turned in her seat.
“Oh yeah I fell, but you dared me to walk on that log! Instead of being anchored in the creek, the stupid log was floating.” Nora sputtered in indignant outrage and Randy thought she had never looked more wonderful. She was fighting with him. This he could counter. This Nora he knew well. He had no desire for the woman who cowered in the quiet.
“I had no way of knowing it was loose. I tried to pull you back in, but you snatched your hand away. You said you could do it all by yourself.” The princess demeanor he remembered when they first met was the reason she’d fallen in the creek.
“Everyone told me I was a rebel child. I never was very good at being part of a team.” Nora looked away from him again and their friendly banter was over. Just like that she was the ice queen again. It made him sad.
“Rebel or not, a person will always need someone else. No one wants to be alone, especially someone flirting with disaster.” Randy had been looking at his poles, but when he finished his words he looked at Nora. Her eyes were glassy and she looked like she might cry.
“I’m a disaster, am I?” Her words were no more than a breathless whisper, but he heard them. In truth Randy felt them.
“Only when you’re wet and covered in creek mud.” He laughed softly as she sniffed and realized Randy hadn’t passed judgment. She nodded her head and blinked quickly at the tears gathered in her eyes.
“It smelled awful.” Nora braved a smile and her blue eyes widened. “You caught a fish!”
Randy chuckled and nodded his head in agreement.
“I did. You do remember!” He clapped his hands on his knees in triumph. Nora shook her head.
“No, I mean, yes, I remember, but you have a fish!” She pointed at the fishing rod that was making its way into the water. Randy leapt from the chair to grab it before it was gone for good. He couldn’t help but laugh as he reeled in the fish.
Chapter 16
The time away from reality or as much of it as they could avoid was starting to grow on her. Nora didn’t miss the nagging, everyday things that used to occupy her time. She had enjoyed a rather lengthy nap due to limited sleep the night before and a hangover. It was nice to know that if she didn’t want to come out of her bedroom or her bed for that matter, she didn’t have too. It was within her to agree that she needed this vacation.
It didn’t start out being a vacation. Nora groaned in response to that persistent voice. Of course it didn’t start out as a vacation, she couldn’t very well forget that. She was capable of recognizing the need for it though. Perhaps what she needed was someone to look out for her as she did for Drew. She pressed her lips together as she fisted her hands in the covers. She wasn’t kidding this morning when s
he had told Randy she wasn’t good at being part of a team. The rebel in her had never relied on someone to do what she could do all on her own.
Of course it went against traditional roles. She had been father and mother to Drew. She made the decisions and she alone was to blame for the bad decisions as well as earning the praise for good ones. She couldn’t relinquish control and that could very well be the reason she would lose everyone close to her. Everyone who had and would ever matter might be lost to the insatiable need to manage the outcome of all things. She would have thought in seven years she might have been able to share the burden. Lord knew her daily load was breaking her down.
Nora rolled onto her back and flung her arms out against the soft mattress. Daylight was fading as long shadows graced her room. It was impossible to reverse time and she couldn’t pause it. All she had was the here and now. There might not be a future with anyone if she couldn’t at least lay most of her cards on the table.
Most of your cards? Any true player kept that one final move a secret. If your opponent knows all the moves, they can plot best how to stop you from winning.
Knock. Knock. The soft taps at her door made her screw her face up in irritation.
“Come in, Randy.” She lifted an eyebrow as he stuck his head around the corner of the bedroom door. His sandy blonde hair looked disheveled from having nervous fingers run through it and it nearly made her smile at her husband.