by A. C. Wilson
Nora rubbed her index finger along the ridge of her nose and squeezed her eyes shut. The tender skin around her eyes was sore and stiff. She couldn’t remember a time when she cried so hard. It was like all of the pain, self-doubt, and anger had poured out into Randy’s shirt. She could even remember how he smelled as he held her. Something similar to pine and warm spice. It lulled peace to the surface and it was then that she must have fallen asleep. She couldn’t remember saying anything more to him.
Randy had made her remember a great many things. She nearly laughed at his description of her the first time they had met on the Crossing Pines. The time he had taken her fishing and when she had fallen in the pond. The multiple times he had proposed marriage to her and even after her rejections, he had only ever asked for honesty. It was a priceless tender to him.
Why is it so hard to tell him the truth? She didn’t know. Nora wished she could recall his expression when she had told him he was the first to know about the baby. It was a moment she would never want to forget and apparently, Randy hadn’t forgotten either. If for a moment she was honest with herself, Nora would say that she had felt an overwhelming connection with Randy at that point too. He hadn’t run. He hadn’t told her what a mistake she was making. He hadn’t looked at her any differently than he did now.
How is that possible? Can you love someone so much that the flaws don’t matter? Her stomach fluttered with the answer. It wasn’t something she could say out loud.
Taking a deep breath, Nora struggled to get out of the blanket and off the couch. It really hadn’t been that comfortable.
No wonder he doesn’t sleep well. Another sharp jab of guilt she took in stride. The house was quiet. She couldn’t hear anything, but the clock ticking on the mantle. Nora stood up straight trying to work out the knots when she saw a piece of paper. She smiled as she read it. He had gone to the store for breakfast. Looking around the room, Nora decided that it might help if she took a hot shower. Perhaps it would work out the sore muscles and wipe away some of the cobwebs.
Half an hour later, Nora felt significantly more human and the worst of the knots had been worked out by the sharp spray of water. She could have stayed under the water longer, but she felt guilty thinking Randy wouldn’t have any hot water. Checking herself in the mirror one last time, Nora straightened out the lace on the bottom of her tank top. She liked feeling feminine and it didn’t hurt that the front dipped low enough to show the tops of her breasts. She blushed with the thought of Randy seeing her. She felt very similar to a young girl in love.
In love? Nora tried to ignore that portion but she couldn’t ignore the fact that her heart tripped over the words. A chill snaked its way up her spine and caused her to shiver. There was no telling if it was due to apprehension or anticipation.
Nora shook her head and sighed. It was definitely time for some fresh air. Maybe a walk would do something for the fuzziness of her brain. She picked up her sweatshirt and threw it over her arm. She was down the hall towards the kitchen before she heard a phone ringing. She touched her pocket and realized it wasn’t hers. Looking around the living room and then towards the counter, Nora found Randy’s cell phone near the sink. It was strange for him to leave his phone considering he never went anywhere without it.
Perhaps that’s a testament to where his mind is too. Nora smiled softly and flipped the front screen. The message scrolled across the top and she couldn’t help but read it.
@Ashley: The plan isn’t going to work without more input.
The sender was no one Nora recognized and the message was even more of a mystery. A simple swipe of her finger unlocked the screen and she punched the message icon without thought. She clicked on Ashley’s previous messages.
@Ashley: Call me.
It could be a general message. Perhaps she was someone with legitimate business with Randy and the Crossing Pines. Nora wanted to ignore the rock in her gut.
@Ashley: I’ll be out around 3pm. Can we talk then?
Still not as bad as it could be. Randy has been out of touch for a couple of days. Maybe she was passing through Hot Springs and thought it would be easier to catch him at the ranch. Nora counted to ten trying to let go of the demons popping up to the surface. Something didn’t feel right about this message though. For all his other contacts, he either had company names or Nora knew them as neighbors and friends. Ashley had neither one of those. Randy’s phone starting ringing again with a new message.
@Ashley: I figured it out. I will have the papers ready for you to sign.
Randy was signing papers? What papers? Nora put the phone down on the counter, turned and leaned back against it for support. Her heart was racing and her stomach clenched in a knot. Suddenly the air that she had been so keen on getting was beyond her reach.
Divorce papers. It was the obvious answer. He had had divorce papers drawn up just in case he couldn’t win her over. Randy was opening the door for her to leave. Her hands started to shake and she just felt so lost. It was as if a moment of clarity had dawned on her last night to carry into this morning and now it was gone. It was just gone.
“Hey, I wasn’t sure if you’d be up.” Randy’s voice trailed off when he caught sight of her face. She’d been so focused on the messages and what they might mean, she hadn’t heard him come in the door. She could only look at him and he looked so happy.
“Your phone was ringing.” Nora furrowed her brow at the confusion in his eyes. “Who is Ashley?” She was surprised by the steadiness of her voice, but there was no calm to be found. Her hands still shook and from the look of realization on Randy’s face, he hadn’t expected to answer that question.
“It’s nothing, Nora.” He was grasping for something to say that would throw her off. It was too bad that she was as about as off as she was going to get. She welcomed the anger that overtook the fragile pain.
“Nothing? You expect me to believe that? I’m not an idiot.” She wanted to shout at him. She wanted to completely lose whatever self-control she had left. It had to be easier than holding it all together.
“You’re overreacting. She’s nothing to get this upset over.” Randy walked past her and into the small kitchen. He set a couple of plastic grocery bags on the counter. Nora put both hands flat on the counter and took a deep breath.
“If she’s nothing, then tell me who she is.” Nora leveled her voice, but it still rippled with anger. It was a fire she was afraid to feel. She had experienced anger before, but this was different. This was unprecedented. Was it really the girl texting her husband that caused it or was it an entirely different reason? It was a question only just leaping to the forefront.
“I can’t tell you. All you need to know is she isn’t anyone important to our relationship.” Randy stepped forward until they were a foot apart. His stormy eyes searched her own. “You have to trust me on this.”
Nora was jolted by her phone vibrating inside her jean’s pocket. Her fingers fumbled with the material and the slick plastic of her phone. She looked down at the screen and Randy continued to watch her face. The blood that was pulsing so freely all but drained from her body. The warmth that she had been feeling was turned to a bone chilling cold. Her world had suddenly been tossed on its head again.
“Take me back to my car.” Nora looked up with as much control as she could muster. “Now.”
Chapter 19
Her head was spinning and she felt like she was going to throw up. A couple of times she wondered if it wouldn’t make her feel better, but then she had to remind herself that it wasn’t something she had ate. This was what it felt like to have a jumble of raw nerves twisting and churning in her stomach. She had pulled her bag out from the closet and began stuffing her clothes inside.
“Are you going to tell me what this is about?” Randy asked from the bedroom door. One glance told her that he wasn’t about to venture inside. Nora made a show of stuffing her sweatshirt into the bag and yanking the zipper closed.
“Andy texted me. Colt
is in Hot Springs and is looking for a lawyer. He wants Drew.” She fought the urge to fall apart. She gripped tighter to the foot rail of the bed and wrapped the familiar feel of anger around her. It stiffened her resolve to put distance between her and Randy. Being assaulted on both fronts would only cause her to lose focus of what was most important right now. Drew was all that mattered.
“Your brother told me that he would call me if something came up.” Randy was bewildered and he leaned his back up against the frame of the door. Nora tossed the decorative pillows up on the bed from the chair in the corner.
“Well maybe you were distracted by Ashley.” Nora threw the words at him as she picked up her bag from the bed and charged towards him. It had caught him off guard enough that he scrambled to move out of her way. She didn’t look at him as she passed, but it didn’t keep her from smelling him. The familiar warmth of spice and pine slid along her frayed nerves.
“That’s not fair.” Randy grumbled under his breath. She made it as far as the living room before he followed her. “Ashley doesn’t matter.” She could hear his boots on the wood floor. Nora shook her head and threw her hands up in the air as she turned on him.
“The fuck she doesn’t! You’re a hypocrite!” She met him toe to toe in that cabin with an angry fierceness that scared her.
“I’m a hypocrite? You’re the one with all of your secrets.” Randy stood his ground and those hazel eyes were glaring into her own. She grit her teeth and took a shaking breath.
“Oh, that’s good. Secrets are fine as long as they are your own. Well go ahead and keep them.” Nora swung on her heel and headed for the front door. She tried desperately to blink back the tears that blinded her. The front steps were blurry as she moved to his truck. Bumping into the front fender as she rounded the corner, Nora reached for the door handle.
Locked. A series of curse words threaded themselves together in her mind but she bit her bottom lip to keep them inside. The world was a complete wreck and she felt like she had fallen down a rabbit hole. This had to be an alternate universe, because she refused to accept it as reality. Nothing had gone as she had planned.
Nora swallowed the lump that had built in her throat and her chest shook as she breathed deeply. Closing her eyes, she rested her forehead against the cool window. Her tender nerves jumped at the sound of crunching gravel behind her.
“I’m sorry.” Randy’s voice was soft, but the words felt like salt to a wound.
Why does everyone have to be sorry? All we do is apologize. A couple of tears slipped down her cheek.
“Take me back.” It was all she could say. Any more than that and she would have fallen apart. Any less and she figured he would have pulled her into his arms. Neither one of those scenarios got her back to Hot Springs any faster.
***
Randy got into his truck and sat there in a parking space just outside of the Deadwood Mountain Grand Hotel. Nora had gotten out of the truck, into her car and drove away. She hadn’t looked back and she hadn’t said goodbye. She hadn’t said anything really since they had left the cabin outside of Spearfish.
He leaned his head back against the head rest and filled his lungs with as much air as they could hold. He held the breath until his chest began to ache and he was forced to breathe out. Randy couldn’t believe the about face that had happened from the time he had left Nora sleeping on the couch to the moment he returned from the grocery store. All night she had let him hold her and she had surprised him by revealing that he was the first person she had told about being pregnant with Drew. He had no idea. It humbled him as much as anything might have.
When the first light of the sunrise filtered into the living room, he had left to find groceries and maybe some flowers. Garrett said he needed to be more spontaneous and romantic.
Breakfast in bed. Randy swore softly and bumped his head back against the headrest. Could he be a fool to think that things might change for him and Nora? It wasn’t like she had made up her mind. He could see that in her very expressive blue eyes. She was wavering in her decision to leave or stay, but the question about Ashley had completely thrown him.
Who is Ashley? Was it so damn hard to tell her who the woman was? Apparently it was, because he hadn’t revealed anything to Nora. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and flipped through his text messages. He sighed. They didn’t sound good. In the right context, of course someone might think the worst.
@Ashley: The plan isn’t going to work without more input.
@Ashley: Call me.
@Ashley: I’ll be out around 3pm. Can we talk then?
@Ashley: I figured it out. I will have the papers ready for you to sign.
He had been ignoring his phone since they were at the cabin and Ashley wasn’t aware of his vacation. He knew exactly what she was talking about as he read the text messages. Opening a new message to reply, Randy began to punch in a reply to the four missed messages.
@Randy: I can meet with you tomorrow morning. I’ve been out of town.
Ignoring the angry churning in his stomach as he hit the send button, Randy was about to click off his phone when the screen lit up with Garrett’s number. Randy figured his brother-in-law was quite possibly the last person he wanted to talk with right now, but he wanted to know what all the trouble was about back home.
“Garrett.” Randy fairly growled into the receiver. Silence met him on the other end for five seconds before Garrett replied to the less than warm greeting.
“Hey Randy.” Garrett’s voice faltered before the conversation continued. “I guess you have heard already?” It was a thin question, because the answer was clear.
“What the hell happened to telling me you could handle things and if you couldn’t, you would get ahold of me?” The anger ran deep and it wasn’t all for the lack of communication, but it was easier to direct it in Garrett’s direction.
“I didn’t hear about Colt until this morning and it was from Matt. Andy just happened to be talking to my mother when it all went down.” Garrett sounded remorseful and it made Randy feel worse. So many things were beyond control and it wasn’t fair to slam it all down on top of his brother-in-law.
“It was awful. Nora was in the middle of grilling me about Ashley and Andy sent the text.” Randy heard Garrett groan. “It pretty much exploded after that.”
“I’m sorry. How mad is she?” Garrett asked and Randy figured it was within Garrett’s scope to know how mad his sister was.
“She’s on her way home now.” Randy shifted in the seat, but it didn’t ease the pain in his chest.
“Shit. I’m guessing you told her about Ashley?” Garrett asked and Randy lifted his gaze to the dusty ceiling of the truck. This was something he kept wondering himself.
“No.” Randy knew why he hadn’t told Nora who the woman was, but he was worried it might sound paltry to someone else’s ears.
“What do you mean by that? I thought this trip to the cabin was to clear the air and share all the secrets? My sister wasn’t the only one with things to share.” Garrett’s voice rose with his emotion and Randy knew the argument well. It was one he had had with himself on countless occasions, but the same reason always came up.
“Garrett, you know that if I told her about the inheritance and what I was doing with it, Nora would feel obligated to stay with me. I don’t want that. I don’t want her to feel trapped in this marriage.” Randy rubbed his eyes as he held the phone close to his ear.
“You’re afraid she will stay because of the money?!” There was the leap Randy was afraid Garrett would make from money to divorce.
“Of course not! Your sister isn’t like that, but the fact that I started this project with her in mind may make her think about staying. I’ve already spent so much money on it. I don’t want her to choose to stay because of it. That’s all.” Randy didn’t know how else to explain it. Nora wasn’t driven by money. She was driven by a sense of duty.
“I get it. I think you’re wrong for not telling her, but I
understand.” Garrett softened his tone and Randy felt some relief. Garrett was the only one who knew the whole story and it made allies a bit scarce.
“What am I going to walk into when I get home?” Randy asked as he began to pull his seat belt over his shoulder and clicked it into the lock. He adjusted the phone so the speaker was on and put it on the hands-free holder stuck to the dash. Turning the key in the ignition, Randy left the parking lot and turned out onto the street.
“Keep this in mind that the information is coming from Andy to Matt and then to me. I have yet to verify the facts with my dad, but Colt came by the Crossing Pines last night. Apparently he had been looking for Nora to discuss Drew.” Garrett’s voice filled the cab of the truck. Randy focused on driving back to Hot Springs, but he couldn’t keep the worry out of his mind.
Colt Cavanaugh had the power to change everything.
“How did your parents’ react to Colt showing up on their doorstep? I assume they already knew he is Drew’s father.” Randy asked as he set the cruise.
“They did know and I’m guessing they figured it was just a matter of time before Colt came around. Dad knew Nora went to Deadwood to break the news to Colt. Matt told me that Dad handled the conversation and told Colt that he would have to speak with Nora before they let Drew meet him.”
Randy grimaced knowing that keeping Drew from Colt, especially if Colt was interested in being a part of the boy’s life, was not going to go over well.
“I guess Colt demanded to know where Nora was, but of course, no one knew. Colt felt he was being railroaded and ended up threatening to be back with his lawyer. Matt said Andy was a mess and it was all a bit of a jumble after that.” Garrett shared the information and none of it surprised Randy. He would be angry too if no one would let him see his son.
Biological son. There was a difference between step-father and paternal father. One definitely had more rights than the other, but Randy would always feel Drew to be his son.