by A. C. Wilson
“I was just thinking of the love of my life.” John looked dreamily out the window into the blue sky. Nora tilted her head.
“I’m sure she misses you too. Her picture is lovely.” Nora indicated the photo of John’s wife, Elsie that sat next to his bed. His wife had died twelve years ago and it was shortly after that he came to live here. Nora almost wished she would have met the woman. John had many stories to share.
“Elsie was a pretty woman, but Dawn was beautiful.” John held a gentle smile as he looked at Nora sitting across from him. She couldn’t help the confused expression on her face. Wizened brown eyes noticed it.
“Who is Dawn, John?” Nora asked him, wondering if this was real or make believe. He appeared to be completely lucid today.
“She was my sweetheart during the war.” John’s eyes fairly glowed with admiration and love. Nora couldn’t look away. “I met her just after I volunteered for the war. She was a nurse.”
“We have something in common.” Nora smiled and watched as John nodded.
“She was the most beautiful creature I had ever met and we shared letters as often as we could. Love letters, I suppose you would call them now. There was nothing more that I wanted but to live long enough to see Dawn again.” John’s smile softened and his eyes looked far out into the world beyond the walls.
“What happened? You married Elsie so something must have happened?” Nora asked, her own investment in the story stronger than she imagined. John was quiet for a minute and he looked back to her.
“Oh we had a short affair. A few moments of passionate kisses and a flurry of promises. Such things cannot go on forever, my Nora. They burn hot and bright, but they do not last.” John’s smile seemed less sad and his words hit a nerve for her. She wondered how he could possibly know.
“You chose Elsie instead of Dawn. Why?” Nora couldn’t help herself. It spoke to her in a way that nothing had.
“It wasn’t a hard choice to make really. Elsie wanted a husband, family, and all the things that go with it. I wanted that too. Dawn wasn’t going to settle down. She couldn’t commit to just one man for the rest of her life.” John scratched the back of his head and sighed. It sounded as if he had made peace with his decision, but he still thought about Dawn. Didn’t that mean something?
“John, what if you would have had a child with Dawn? Would that have altered your future?” Nora crossed her arms across her chest. She felt like she was trying to contain all the nerves jerking in her body. The old man tipped his head to the side and considered what Nora has asked him.
“I’d have considered the child a gift from God, but she would never have married me. It would have been expected then, but it isn’t like that now. Two people can share a child and not have to marry each other.” For a moment, Nora had forgotten about the Alzheimer’s and the fact that this story might not be anything more than a figment of John’s imagination. For the moment, she wanted him to have all the answers.
“No, they don’t. Thank you, John.” Nora tried to smile, but it was more sad and confused than happy.
“You’re welcome, my dear.” He scooted to the edge of his chair and held out his arm. “Now if you don’t mind helping me, I think I’ll take a nap.”
Nora quickly gripped his arm and helped him to his feet. Ten minutes later, she was walking down the hall. It had been quite an odd encounter and there was no way Mr. Clifton could have known about Colt and her.
Maybe these things really do happen. Maybe they did. Nora thought she would always have a soft spot for Colt Cavanaugh. He gave her Drew and for that she would be grateful. After all, her son was the reason that she didn’t completely lose her mind.
Sometimes things really do happen for a reason. Nora hadn’t put much stock in that line until now. She figured things happened at random and sometimes people just got the raw end of the deal and others were blessed. Nora was beginning to think that she was in the latter category.
Roughly two hours later, Nora had punched out of work and was on her way to Andy’s house. Drew had called to say he was staying at Sam’s and that he was invited to dinner as well. Nora pulled into Matt and Andy’s drive. Harper was playing in her sandbox while Andy watched from the front porch.
“I’m glad you came. Harper has been asking for her aunt all day!” Andy slowly got up from her chair and came across the porch. Nora smiled and waved at her niece.
“Hi, Harper.” Nora smiled and then proceeded up the stairs to meet Andy. “She looks like she is enjoying the beautiful weather today.”
“She is and getting on her mother’s nerves too.” Andy nodded and then shook her head. Nora knew her niece was quite the handful now and the fact that her mother was pregnant hadn’t slowed the little girl down much.
“I would have brought Drew, but he’s studying with a friend.” Nora slid her chair closer to Andy’s and sat down.
“Studying at the age of seven? What is the world coming too?” Andy widened her eyes in mock surprise and Nora nodded her head in agreement.
“I think he is avoiding me honestly. We discussed meeting Colt this morning and Drew wasn’t exactly thrilled.” Nora sighed loudly.
“He knows this is important to you. Kids have a funny way of looking at things and determining whether it is important or not.” Andy shifted in her chair trying to get comfortable.
“Important like pizza for dinner and cool basketball shoes?” Nora asked what was meant to be a rhetorical question. This was the reason he was the child and she was the parent. Foresight just didn’t come to a person so young.
“You can’t expect Drew to understand the significance of this yet. In his eyes he has everyone he needs. He has uncles, an aunt, a grandfather, a grandmother, a mother, and a …well, you get the idea.” Andy settled her hands on her swelling stomach and looked uncomfortable. Nora shifted her gaze to watch Harper filling her bucket with sand.
“Colt wants to make Drew a part of his life and he asked me to be a part of it too.” Nora hadn’t shared this with anyone else and now just seemed like the right time to hash it out. Andy made a good sounding board and she wasn’t quite as brutal with her opinions as Rayne.
“I can’t say as I’m surprised.” Andy said as she sat beside Nora. The two women didn’t look at each other. It seemed less confrontational that way. They could be more observant than players in the scene.
“I shouldn’t have been, Andy, but I was. It was something I had waited so long to hear and I could only think about Randy.” Nora blew out a lengthy breath and drummed her fingernails on the arm of the chair.
“Did you give Colt an answer? Have you told Randy?” Andy asked as she watched Harper playing with their new kitten. Nora thought the poor animal might exact revenge as soon as it could get its claws free.
“I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know what to say to either of them. The more I think the worse it gets. Everything I thought I wanted suddenly isn’t so clear.” Nora lowered her gaze to her hands. Andy was quiet for a moment.
“I think you do know what you want, Nora. I think now you just have to say it.” Andy shifted in her seat again. “Listen, I didn’t want to tell you on the phone, but there’s something off lately.” Andy met Nora’s quick glance. Nora narrowed her eyes.
“What do you mean?” Her confusion was clear.
“Something is going on with Garrett and Randy. I don’t know what it is, but Garrett is being secretive. Matt refuses to get in the middle of it. He says I’m just being hormonal.” Andy cast an irritated glance at the house and then waited for Nora’s observations. Nora winced.
“Rayne took me out drinking the night Colt and I talked. She was well past drunk and more than a bit angry with Garrett. I’m sure it is all connected to Randy and me.” Nora couldn’t imagine what it could be, but she was going to find out.
“Have you seen him? Randy, that is.” Andy asked as Harper came bounding up with her kitten.
“No, nor has he called me. I’m basically waiting to s
ee divorce papers show up at any moment.” Truth was she hadn’t tried to call him either. It made her feel more like a coward than her words implied.
“I hope not, Nora. I think you need to find him and talk to him. It’s the only way this part of your life is going to have closure. No matter how it might end.” Andy slid forward in her chair to stand up. She paused next to Nora before she went to wrestle the kitten from her daughter’s arms. “That’s my two cents.”
Nora valued Andy’s opinions and observations at more than two cents. Sometimes the things that are the closest to us are seen. It takes another perspective to broaden our scope. It was all a world of cause and effect. She had been the cause and now she had to see what effect she had on all the people involved like little ripples ever expanding. Nora had no idea what she would find. She only knew that she needed too.
Chapter 25
Drew sat in the car quietly looking out the window and not offering anything in the way of off topic conversation. Her son always jumped from one topic to another even before she could answer. It made her head spin, but seeing him so silent made Nora feel his anxiety well. She didn’t like it. As much as she could tell herself that this was all completely normal and that Drew was better off for the secret she had shared, she couldn’t put away the nerves. They jumped like toads that startled her at night. They caused her heart to race.
Nora drove them to the spot where she and Colt used to meet by the creek. It had been the place that the least amount of people would see them and less tongues would wag. Lord knew the gossip mill would work overtime anyway, but Nora wanted only to protect her son. People had a way of torturing and twisting a story to fit their own ends no matter what the truth actually was. It was a sad reality Nora had had to live with much to her dismay.
Nora drove the next three miles along a dirt road that her car had no business being on and then turned into a pasture that was less forgiving. The near cattle trail led them another mile back to the creek where a large portion had tall trees for shade and shorter grass along the banks. It was perfect for a lazy afternoon picnic and some fishing.
“I really think you are going to like him once you give him a chance.” Nora started and then seeing a large dip she hadn’t remembered being there, she figured she’d better watch the road. Drew only shifted in his seat and took off his seat belt. Her car chimed in protest but Nora wondered why she hadn’t thought of it. The bumps were nearly strangling her with the belt.
The pasture land flattened out and Nora decided to park here instead of closer to the creek. It seemed more practical, but it also gave her a moment to breathe. She turned off the engine and leaned back into her seat. She looked at her son. Just seven years old, but today he looked about fifteen. His normally brilliant blue eyes were dulled in worry and his brow was creased in trepidation. Nora wished she could ease it off his shoulders. She just didn’t know how.
Seeing Colt’s truck parked further down by the creek, Nora took in a deep breath. Reaching over and squeezing Drew’s shoulder, she offered a soft smile when he looked at her.
“It will be fine. I promise.” Nora opened her car door and stepped out. The mocking voice in her head was more prominent today.
It better be or Colt will have one hell of a fight. There was no threat. If anything it was a promise. No one in their right mind messed with a mother’s child. It wasn’t healthy and it sure wasn’t smart.
Colt waved to them from his truck as he pulled out a couple of fishing poles and a couple of camping chairs. Nora walked around the back of the car to the trunk and retrieved the picnic basket. Drew waited in mute indecision for her. She led the way for the next sixty feet. Drew stayed unusually close behind her.
“Hey guys! I’m glad you’re here.” Colt set the chairs up against the truck and the poles rested easily in his hand. Nora felt a somersault in her stomach at the combination of those silver grey eyes and almost black hair. It was impossible not to think that he had crushed hearts all over the place.
“We’re here.” Nora said with a too-sweet tone. Drew stayed nearly behind her and she wondered at him. It wasn’t at all like her out-going boy. He made friends so easily and everyone just loved him. She almost envied Drew’s ability to set people at ease and create joy wherever he walked.
Colt met Nora’s eyes and he mirrored her anxiousness too. She felt better. It justified the significance of this event. Drew was meeting his real father for the first time. Colt was meeting his real son for the first time. Nora was the median in between the two and like that object, she watched with a weird sense of wonder. Slowly she stepped aside and Drew stood his ground. His chin went up and his blue eyes held a sharpness his mother had never encountered before.
Maybe I have. She was adult enough to know that wariness lived in her too.
“Hello there, Drew. It’s nice to meet you.” Colt offered his hand to shake. It was like time stood still as each male sized the other one up. Nora felt her protective instincts jump to attention, but she held them at bay. Slowly with obvious intent, Drew shook Colt’s hand. It was like a collective breath had been expelled and Nora smiled at them both.
“Who is hungry?” Nora asked, raising the basket in punctuation. It was more of a diversion than anything. She wished it would take the awkwardness away, but it didn’t. She even felt awkward around Colt given that he would expect an answer to his question.
Proposal? Not really a down-on-one-knee kind of proposal, but a serious question anyway.
“I could eat.” Colt grinned and welcomed them around the truck. Down on the soft slope he had put out a thick picnic blanket. It was a very pretty spot with large looming cottonwood trees with their bowing and twisting branches. One such limb had a thick rope tied to it so swimmers could swing out across the water. It really was quite the perfect spot for new beginnings.
“My mom hasn’t really told me much about you.” Drew candidly spoke from across the blanket. Nora was unpacking the sandwiches. She tried not to say anything while reminding them both that she was still there.
“What would you like to know? I’m an open book.” Colt softened his grin and directed his attention to Drew. He really meant it. He was opening up any topic for discussion.
“Where do you live?” Drew asked and Nora was glad it wasn’t a more personal question. She knew a million were floating around in her son’s mind.
“I have a house in Nashville and I have another one in Montana. I don’t get to spend a great deal of time at either place, but both of them feel like home in their own way.” Colt shrugged off the glance Nora gave him.
Two houses? Two states? He really must be doing well for himself to afford such things. Nora knew what her meager house cost.
“Wow. How did you meet my mom then?” Drew asked, his curiosity showing through his armor. Nora tried to smother a grin. She would have gladly answered this question, but Colt’s widened eyes was enough to let him do the honors.
“I came to visit my aunt and uncle in the summer.” Colt opened the bag of chips in front of him. Drew nodded as if Colt’s answer said everything. Nora shook her head.
“Do you like being gone all the time?” Drew asked as he made his sandwich and found a soda. Colt took a bite of his sandwich and shrugged.
“It is fun meeting new people and seeing new places. I miss home though. I miss being able to do whatever I want when I want.” Colt cast a side glance at Nora who just happened to be looking at him. She felt her cheeks warm as she registered his comment.
Please don’t tell me that you’re hoping to use me and Drew as an excuse to find a home. Nora couldn’t be used like that and she sure as heck didn’t want Drew to get his hopes up.
“Have you always liked to sing?” Drew asked after a few moments and Nora saw his mind working at high speed. These were highly intelligent questions and for a seven year old to be asking them, Nora saw the adult her son might become. It warmed her heart to know that he was also protective of her.
“Yeah, pre
tty much since I was a boy of your age. It wasn’t until high school that I wanted to make a career out of it. Your mom was one of my biggest supporters.” Colt reached out and took her hand. Nora felt his grip as he squeezed her fingers. Her heart rate slipped into overdrive.
“Do you have a favorite song?” Drew asked as Colt continued to hold her hand. Nora thought about pulling away, but it was so strange and sweet.
“Of course. Everyone has their favorite song.” Colt smiled and Nora watched as Drew settled in. He wanted to hear it. Leave it to her son to want proof that this man was really a singer and a good one to boot! Colt’s grin widened.
Challenge accepted. Nora waited as Colt took a deep breath. The moment he started to sing Nora thought her whole world had stopped spinning and the world had suddenly catapulted her back in time.
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared ‘neath
the stars above.
For a moment all the
world was right.
How could I have known
that you’d ever say goodbye?
In that instant she was slammed back to the night that had changed both of their lives. Colt had met her here by the creekside and they had laid in the bed of his truck looking up at the stars. The radio in the cab was playing and she hadn’t ever felt so cherished. The minute this song started playing Colt had pulled her out into the grass and pressed her body up against his. She hadn’t been able to breathe. Those dark eyes nearly twinkled under the starlight as The Dance by Garth Brooks played so hauntingly.
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn’t I a king
But if I’d only known how
the king would fall
Hey who’s to say you know I might
have changed it all
They had danced with Colt singing in her ear and the rest of the world hushed for those amazing minutes. Nora had memorized it all and kept it close to her as she struggled to be strong. She kept it for the times she felt so alone.