Hard Rock Tease: A Rock Star Romance (Darkest Days Book 1)

by Athena Wright

  "I've never opened it."

  He stared at me. "Why not?"

  "I'm afraid."

  "Of what it might say?"

  "It's like I said. Playing music with my mom, writing music with her, was the only time she was happy. And it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. And I've never been ready to hear her last words to me. Except…" I took the letter back from Noah. "I think now I am."

  Noah squeezed one of my hands. I took a deep breath and tore a small line down the edge of the envelope. I pulled out the letter.

  Except it wasn't a letter. It was several thin pieces of sheet music. I frowned and turned the papers over. No writing, just lines and lines of music notes.

  "Is this a song?" Noah asked, taking a few sheets to examine himself. He scanned through the pages. "This is really good. I can imagine how it would sound live. It's moving." He flicked his eyes to me. "It sounds a lot like you. It sounds a lot like the song we're working on now."

  "We were—" I halted, the words catching in my throat. "We were working on a song together. We hadn't managed to finish it before…" I trailed off, reading the first few words at the very top of the sheet. The title of the song.

  You Are My Heart

  "There's something written here." Noah held the last page in his hand.

  I took it from him. There were three words in my mother's handwriting. I mouthed the words, but couldn't speak them out loud.

  Noah said them for me, murmuring them quietly.

  "Please forgive me." His eyes met mine. "Those were your mother's last words."

  Tears fell from my eyes.

  "Playing music with me, writing music with me, was the only thing that made my mom happy," I told him. "And even that wasn't enough. She still killed herself." I looked down at my lap, my vision blurry with tears. "I always felt like I would never be good enough. I wasn't good enough to save my mom."

  Noah enveloped me in a flurry of arms and blankets. "You're mother killing herself had nothing to do with you. Nothing. It's not your fault."

  "She finished our song," I murmured thoughtfully. I leaned back into his embrace. I let the letter fall from my hands onto the mattress. I rested my head on Noah's chest and wrapped my arms around him. He pulled me into a tight hug.

  "Can you?" Noah asked quietly. I knew what he was asking.

  Please forgive me.

  "Yes," I said simply. "I think I can now."

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  With the help of my mom's music, we finally finished our song.

  Noah had the brilliant idea of using parts of my mom's song to complete ours. The result had been amazing. The personal, emotional parts of Noah Hart that I'd managed to drag out of him, kicking and screaming at times, melded perfectly with the work my mom and I had done years ago. It was as if the two songs were made to compliment each other. All those missing pieces I hadn't been able to put together suddenly meshed.

  Of course, our song still needed to be properly arranged into a a real rock song with guitars and drums and bass, but for now we at least had the actual melody composed. The rest could come later.

  "I'm proud of you," I told Noah as I finished making a few last notes on the music sheet. We were at Etude Entertainment headquarters, practicing one last time before our meeting with Naomi.

  "Proud of me for what?"

  "For opening up. For letting your guard down. Your fans will love it. I think it will really speak to them. It's meaningful. Between the two of us, we've written a song that feels more like a Noah Hart song and less like a Darkest Days song."

  "No." He shook his head. "It feels like a Jennifer Young and Noah Hart song." He wrapped his arms around me. "I couldn't have done it without you," he murmured in my ear.

  "Are you getting sappy on me?"

  He grumbled. "I'm Noah Fucking Hart. I don't do sappy."

  I just smiled to myself. "You want to practice a few more times?"

  "I think I need some more inspiration." His hand slid down my back to cup my ass.

  I batted his hand away. "Stop it. We're at work. In public."

  "Never stopped us before."

  "I think you've had enough inspiration to last you a lifetime."

  He tugged me to his chest. "You're wrong. I can never get enough of you."

  "There you go, being all sweet again." I rested my head on his shoulder. "We really do need to practice, though. Naomi's going to expect something magical, considering how long this took us. We need to be ready."

  "We are ready." His voice was full of confidence. "And it's all because of your hard work." He pulled back and looked me in the eye. "You may doubt yourself, but once this album drops and sells millions of copies, you're going to realized how talented you are."

  "Millions of copies? That's some ego you've got."

  "Soon your ego will be just a big as mine."

  "No one's going to know it was me who wrote the song, remember? I'm going to get rich, not famous."

  "Oh. Right." Noah ran his hand up and down my spine, stroking me in a sensual motion. "Maybe I can get you producer credits or something."

  "That would be great if I wanted to be a producer, but I want to work on the composing and songwriting side." I looked him in the eyes. "It's fine. The royalties will be way more than enough to pay off my student loans. Can't get much better than that."

  "I'm sorry. I just don't want anyone knowing…" he trailed off, avoiding my eyes.

  Noah still didn't want to admit to anyone he needed help composing. He didn't want to admit he needed help at all, from anyone, ever. Noah didn't want the world knowing he couldn't do it alone.

  I put my hands on his cheeks. "If you really want me to get fame as well as fortune, maybe I can help the band write a song on your next album?"

  "That won't be for another few years."

  "I'm okay waiting that long if you are." I realized what I'd said and held my breath, waiting for his response.

  Noah looked at me intently. He nodded. "Sure. I'll bring you in to work on a song for the next album."

  Noah was thinking of us in the long term. And he seemed okay with it. He wasn't shutting me out. A little thrill of glee thumped through my chest. Maybe I was finally getting somewhere with Noah. Maybe His Royal Highness was finally letting his guard down.

  "I should probably start looking for a real job, though." I switched topics before Noah could realize exactly what he'd agreed to and change his mind. "We're done with the song so technically I'm unemployed now. I've got nothing to do."

  "Nothing?" He placed a kiss on my neck. I shivered, need coursing through me. "I thought you were my sexual muse."

  "Is that my job now?"

  "It's the most important job in the world. Succumbing to my whims."

  "I don't ever recall succumbing to your whims."

  "Do I need to give you a reminder?"

  Footsteps sounded down the hall. I parted from Noah reluctantly. "That's probably Naomi. Don't want to get caught sucking face."

  "She's the manager for Darkest Days. She's seen worse."

  I pushed him away and wrinkled my nose at the thought.

  When Naomi walked into the room, she gave us a no-nonsense smile.

  "Show me what you have," she said, getting down to business.

  I stood behind Noah while he played the song for song for Naomi on the piano. I twisted my hands together, shaky with nerves. She didn't change her expression in the slightest. A million thoughts raced through my head.

  She hated it.

  She was going to fire me on the spot.

  I'd get blacklisted from the industry and would never work in music again.

  Butterflies threatened to spew out of my mouth. I felt sick to my stomach.

  Noah finished the song and turned to her.

  "Well?" he asked impatiently.

  Naomi nodded. "Fantastic."

  I let out a sigh of relief, nearly slumping over. "Really?"

  She gave me a small smile. "This is some great work, Jen
nifer. Exactly what I was hoping for. You worked wonders."

  "It had its challenges," I admitted.

  "Noah ran off all the others so easily." Naomi gave him an exasperated look. He stared back, unrepentant. "I'm glad you managed to hold your own against him."

  "He's not that bad, underneath all that grumpiness and snark."

  "Can you not talk about me as if I'm not sitting right here?"

  Naomi patted Noah on the shoulder. "Your fans are going to love the song. Good job, you two." She turned to me. "Jennifer, when you've got a spare minute, I'd like to speak about some further work we may have for you."

  A jolt of surprise went through me. "You want to hire me again?"

  "What you've shown me so far is impressive. I believe we may have more work for you in the future. And of course I'd be more than happy to act as a reference for you."

  I had to suppress a squeal of glee. When Naomi left, I threw my arms around Noah's neck. "Did you hear that?"

  "Told you," he said with a smug grin. "I knew from the first moment we started working together in this room that you were talented."

  "Even when you were snarling and snapping at me?"

  "I didn't snap at you."

  "Are you even paying attention?" I said in a gruff voice, imitating Noah. "Or are you too busy having sex daydreams about me?"

  "Well?" he raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you?"

  I flushed. "Not the point."

  Noah pulled me onto his lap, making me straddle the piano bench. "Don't you remember all the sexual tension we had in this room? You should be glad I didn't pull up your skirt and fuck you over the piano on day one."

  My heartbeat sped up. "If you want to fuck me over the piano so bad, why don't you go ahead and do it then?"

  "Noah?"

  Noah and I bolted away from each other as Naomi's voice sounded from the hallway. We were barely presentable when she walked back in, her cell phone in hand.

  "I thought Lily was trying to keep a low profile?" she asked.

  Noah froze. "Why?"

  She gave him a concerned look. "You may want to warn her."

  "About what?"

  "She's all over the fan sites and social media. Check your phone. I sent you an email with all the links." Naomi walked out, a frown on her face.

  Noah pulled out his phone, his brows furrowed in confusion. As he scrolled and tapped, the confusion morphed into disbelief, and then anger.

  "What is it?" I leaned over and peeked at Noah's phone. He was looking at a news websites. There was a big headline on the article.

  Noah F*cking Hart's hot baby sister makes a reappearance - and this time she's legal!

  Dread filled my chest. Someone had found out about Lily. They'd found out about her coming home. How?

  Noah lowered the phone slowly.

  "Who did you tell?"

  My mouth popped open. "What?"

  His eyes met mine. They were ice cold. "Who did you tell?"

  "No one," I protested. "I didn't tell anyone anything."

  He narrowed his eyes at me. "Then how did they find out?"

  "Maybe someone overheard Lily talking about it?"

  "She knows she's supposed to keep it a secret. You're the only who knows." Noah was looking at me, but it was like he was staring right through me, not seeing me. "I can't believe you would do this to me." His voice was flat.

  "I didn't do anything to you," I stressed. "Someone must have found out some other way."

  "I trusted you." The words were pained, even as his eyes were shuttered and guarded. Noah fisted his phone in his hand so hard I could hear it creak. "I can't even look at you right now." He strode out of the room with long strides.

  "Noah…!" I called out after him.

  He slammed the door behind him.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Noah was one of the most frustrating people I'd ever had the displeasure of dealing with. When he held a grudge, he really held it. Just like the last time he'd shut me out, he wouldn't answer texts or phone calls or voicemails.

  I gave him a couple days to cool off. He'd soon realize I would never betray his trust like that. He was probably just shocked and taken aback. I knew why Noah was upset. I didn't blame him for that. I just hated that he jumped to conclusions and automatically assumed it was me who let the word out.

  I spent more time with Ivy and Natalie. I hadn't wanted to tell them about my fight with Noah, but as a Darkest Days fan, Natalie immediately asked me about Lily.

  "I'd totally forgotten about Noah's little sister," she said as she slid into the chair next me during one of our weekly lunches. "It's been years since anyone's heard of her. Do you know anything?"

  "No," I lied. "Noah doesn't say much about his personal life."

  "Not even after all that… you know?" Nat raised her eyebrows.

  "All that what?"

  "Kinky sex."

  "Nat," I groaned.

  "You have been sleeping together for a while now," Ivy chimed in.

  "He told me a few things," I admitted. "But it was private. I don't think he'd want me blabbing his secrets."

  "So Lily is a secret?" Nat jumped on the last word.

  "Can we not talk about this?" I said.

  Ivy agreed. "We shouldn't be gossiping about Jen's boyfriend."

  My heart sank. "He's not my boyfriend," I mumbled.

  "Your lover, then."

  My heart thumped at the word. Love had never been part of the equation when it came to me and Noah.

  At least, not on his part.

  "Jen, what's wrong?" Ivy asked, distressed. "You look upset."

  "Did that asshole hurt you?" Natalie asked in outrage, clenching her knife and fork in her fists. "Because if he did…" she stabbed her butter knife into the table.

  I choked out a laugh. "Thanks, Nat."

  "But something did happen, right?" she pressed.

  "Noah has trust issues," I explained. "I just need to give him time."

  I hoped giving him some space would allow him to see the mistake he'd made.

  I spent some time reading up on Darkest Days gossip, especially gossip pertaining to Lily. I wanted to know if there were any disgusting trash sites putting a price on pictures of her. I couldn't find anything in my searches, but who knew what kind of gross stuff happened behind paywalls and on secret forums.

  Even on normal sites, though, most of the comments were gross. Lily was only nineteen. It made me sick to think of the media and fans objectifying her like that. In my head she was just Noah's baby sister.

  Somehow they'd found her social media accounts and were tracking her every move. Like Noah had said, she was traveling around Europe. From the photos she shared, it looked like sometimes she was alone and sometimes she was with friends.

  Even if I hadn't known they were related, the resemblance would have made me wonder. Lily's dark hair and eyes were the exact same as Noah's. Their faces shared similar contours, although her cheeks had more of a cute cherub shape whereas Noah's was more angular with sharper cheekbones.

  She was cute, there was no denying that. Noah would have to beat the guys off with sticks. I had no doubt he would act even more like the overprotective big brother type if and when she came home.

  Perhaps, with all this attention, Noah would forbid it. He might force her to stay in London. I felt bad for Lily. It must have been hard to be sent away from everything she knew. It made sense that she would want to come back, if only to be with her brother again. Now that she was an adult, she could make her own decisions. Of course, I was sure Noah wouldn't see it like that.

  The more I thought about it, the more I wondered. Sending your little sister out of the country was a drastic move. Of course, Noah was a dramatic person, as much he would have liked to think otherwise. It couldn't have just been that he was afraid for her safety. Surely he could keep a better eye on her if she were closer. God knew what kind of things a teenaged girl could get up to living abroad, far away from home and without any
adult supervision.

  His mother had left him. He was glad she was gone. He felt guilty he was glad. He'd been through hell in foster care, never able to show weakness. He'd done everything he could to protect his little sister. Noah and Lily against the world.

  He also believed he'd failed her.

  I knew that when Noah felt vulnerable, he tended to lash out and make bad decisions. Could this have been one of them? Had sending Lily away been less about her safety and more about Noah's own personal issues?

  He was such a complicated person. Of course, I'd always assumed that to be true. Listening to his lyrics as a teenager, I'd always felt that Noah Hart was full of contradictions. He could write such lovely words of adoration and devotion, just as easily as he could write words of fury and wrath. His songs, the meanings behind his lyrics, were never one-dimensional. That's why I felt he understood me.

  I loved my mother.

  I hated my mother.

  I felt guilty over her suicide, felt like it was my fault.

  I felt relieved I no longer had to take care of her.

  I was sad she was gone.

  I was happy she had finally found an end to her suffering.

  So many conflicting emotions inside of me. So many feelings for a teenager to deal with. It was no wonder Darkest Days was my favorite band. The contradictions I felt inside were reflected in the lyrics of Noah Hart. Noah's words spoke to me. There was something inside of him that mirrored my own experiences. Love. Hate. Guilt. Relief. Noah understood me. And I understood him.

  It wasn't just a fangirl infatuation.

  I was in love with Noah Hart.

  And I just knew that, underneath all that pain and distrust, Noah loved me back.

  I just needed to get him to open up and trust me again.

  After I'd made a decision to confront Noah, the only thing I had to decide was when and how. I didn't want to show up at his door and pound on it until he opened it. The Noah Hart I'd gotten to know would probably leave me out there for hours, until I got fed up and left.

  When Naomi asked me to come back to the Etude Entertainment offices to talk about another potential contract, I knew I had to take the chance. I tried to subtly ask if Noah was going to be around.