A Beautiful Mess

by T. K. Leigh

  Alexander looked out over the golf course. “Olivia,” he whispered.

  “Oh, yes. Olivia. And if I remember correctly, you couldn’t pronounce her name. You always called her Olibia, right?”

  A lump formed in Alexander’s throat. “Yes, Mr. Peters. That’s correct. I guess it was a nickname that just kind of stuck.”

  “I’ll never forget how jealous my Adele was of that girl. She wanted to be your best friend and just hated to share your affections with anyone.” He sighed. “I love my daughter dearly, but that’s not the woman for you. And I say that with all due respect to my Adele.” Mr. Peters smiled fondly.

  “Now what have you two been talking about? Hopefully not talking about me, Daddy!” Adele interrupted.

  “Oh, you know I have nothing but wonderful things to say about the two most important women in my life,” he said, standing up and kissing his daughter on the cheek.

  “Alexander, darling. Let’s dance,” Adele said, turning to him and grabbing his hand. She dragged him inside the posh country club and toward a dance floor crowded with couples moving to a Dean Martin tune. He smiled as he weakly held her arm until they were away from her parents’ eyes.

  “I’m not going to dance with you, Adele,” he growled, turning to face her. “I’m sure both you and your mother have those photographers selling their photos to the highest bidder to give you some internet juice. I won’t have anything to do with that, so you can just cut the crap right now. I didn’t want to say anything in front of your father because I genuinely like him, but I will not play your game.” His voice grew louder. “So you can act as an old friend for the rest of the afternoon and we can enjoy each others’ company, or you can continue to try to parade me around as your special friend and you will soon find yourself all alone.” He looked around at the crowd that had gathered to eavesdrop on their conversation. “I’ll be at the bar.” He left Adele, her eyes wide.

  “Dude, that was epic,” Alexander heard as he took a seat at the bar. He turned to the source of the voice to see his brother sitting there, enjoying a beer.

  “Hey, Ty. What are you doing here? You hate this scene.” Alexander signaled the bartender to pour him and his brother another round.

  “I know. But Ma is on my ass about getting out to more charity events, so here I am. Apparently we were all on the guest list. I figured I’d save you from yourself. Or at least from Adele.” Tyler winked. “Carol had a work thing she needed to take care of. A conference call or something about a case, so I decided to drive out here and keep you company now that I can use my real ID to get a drink.”

  “I’m sorry I never officially wished you a happy birthday. I don’t know where my head was before.” He raised his drink to his brother and they clinked glasses.

  “It’s okay. I know how difficult this day is for you. I’m just here to try to make it enjoyable for once. And I promise not to mention the “O” word at all.”

  “What ‘O’ word?” Adele interrupted, slinging her arm over Alexander’s shoulder. He rolled his eyes, his annoyance with the fake blonde apparent. When neither Tyler nor Alexander responded, she raised her voice and laughed. “Oh, you must be referring to the multiple orgasms you gave me last night.” She glanced over to a few photographers, smiling her best fake smile. “Alexander Burnham is an animal in the sack,” she shouted, as if hoping the photographers would be quoting her.

  “Adele,” Alexander interrupted, pushing her arm away from him. “What did we just discuss? Do you really have no concept of class and dignity? You were a nice distraction all those years ago and it was great to blow off some steam with you when I was on leave from the Navy, but I could never date someone as superficial as you.” Alexander stood up and slammed back his drink, clearly getting ready to leave.

  “You know what, Alex?” Adele yelled as he walked away from the bar. “You need to get over your little obsession with Olivia DeLuca. She’s fucking dead,” she hissed. “And you still mourn her every fucking day. It’s sad, really. You’d think that after twenty-something years you’d be over her. She’s fucking dead! Move on!”

  Alexander turned around, his eyes aflame with fury. “The difference between you and me is that I care more about people than whether they have a ten figure bank account. Olivia was an important part of my life when I was growing up. And, yes, I still mourn her death. She was a part of me that died. But you’re too self-absorbed to understand. Good-bye, Adele.” Alexander walked out of the clubhouse and handed his ticket to the valet who brought his car around rather quickly.

  “Alex!” Tyler shouted as Alexander was getting into his Maserati convertible. “Wait a minute!”

  “What’s up?”

  “Hey. Want to go to a real bar?” Tyler asked, his eyebrows raised.

  “Yes. I need a drink after this,” Alexander replied.

  “Great. Meet me at The Tavern. I’ll text Carol and tell her to meet us there.”

  Alexander got into his car and left the parking lot, making his way back to Mystic and The Tavern. It was a bar that he had frequented quite a bit when he was in town. The location right down the street from their favorite oyster place and near Mystic River Park made it the perfect place to unwind.

  Twenty minutes later, he pulled up in front of the historic brick building and walked inside the small dimly lit bar to see the place already buzzing at four o’clock on a Friday afternoon. He guessed everyone was getting an early start on the weekend.

  “Alex!” Carol shouted as she downed a shot of some amber liquid.

  “Hey, sis! How many of those have you had?” Alexander returned Carol’s hug.

  “Not nearly enough. Now let’s get wasted. We can always walk back to the house later.” They made their way from the bar to an open high top table. A matter of minutes later, Tyler arrived and Alexander bought a round of beers and shots for his siblings. He was already feeling slightly buzzed from all the scotch he had drunk earlier at the country club.

  “Come on, Carol. You need to play catch up!” Tyler shouted as he handed her another shot.

  The three siblings drank and caught up, sharing with each other what was going on in their personal lives. Tyler was looking forward to his final year at Boston University, where he studied finance. He planned to go on to graduate school the following year as well. Carol told the guys about a few different cases she was working on at the moment. They all did their best to steer the conversation away from Olivia and their father.

  Several hours later, they had consumed quite a bit of liquor. “She sings, ya know,” Alexander said out of nowhere, slurring his speech, his eyes drooping low.

  “What are you talking about?” Tyler asked, laughing.

  “Olibia. She sings. I followed her to Open Mic at Johnny D's last night before I drove here. And she sings. It brought back a lot of memories.”

  “Alex, we don’t have to talk about it tonight. I mean if you want to, we can, but you don’t have to.” Carol placed her hand on top of his.

  “I know, Carol. But it helps sometimes. I know it’s her, but it still doesn’t feel real, ya know. And I mean, this is a girl who is so scared to get close to anyone. I’m just worried that finding out the truth will ruin her.”

  “But Alex, I don’t know if that’s your decision to make,” Carol replied. “Imagine how she would feel if you keep that information from her. What’s worse? Her learning about her past and needing some time to process the information, or her learning that you withheld vital information from her? I know you want to protect her, but I think you need to tell her and let her deal with the information as she chooses.”

  “Yeah. What Carol said,” Tyler slurred.

  “She’s singing in a band tonight. I should have stayed in Boston to see her, but I just had to come here. It was weird this morning. I was talking to Olivia’s gravestone as if she was still dead. And I was telling the young Olivia about the woman she’s become. It’s almost as if they’re two different people. But they’re not. They�
��re the same person. And I know they are. But to me, they’re two separate people. One girl died when she was six. And this new Olivia is who the other Olivia grew up to be, but I wasn’t around to watch her grow up. And I think what’s so heartbreaking for me is that I missed her all those years when she was so close to me.” He looked at his brother and sister and felt the world starting to close in on him. “I need to go guys. I’ll see you back at the house.”

  Alexander got up from the table and threw down several large bills to cover the tab and more drinks. He knew what he needed to do. He walked the quarter mile back to his house and headed straight to his bedroom. Sitting down at his desk, he pulled out his journal and wrote his daily letter to Olivia.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  GAMBLING THERAPY

  “SO, have you heard from him yet?” Kiera asked Olivia as she lounged on the couch in Olivia’s living room on Saturday morning. Olivia had performed with Mo’s band the previous night and had been in a rather snarky mood since then, having not heard from Alexander.

  “No. I haven’t. And it’s killing me. It’s so weird. He secretly watched me Thursday night at Open Mic. He said he had to go out of town this weekend for something. I texted him a few times, but I don’t want to be that clingy girl, ya know?” Olivia took a sip from her coffee mug and glanced over at her friend.

  “Fuck him. What kind of arrogant bastard is too wrapped up in himself that he can’t at least send a quick text just to say hi? Men and their fucking mind games. And they say women are bad.” Kiera flipped the cover on her iPad and starting browsing the latest gossip websites.

  “I think I’m just worried that he freaked when he heard the songs I sang. But he called me his girlfriend. And now he’s just not talking to me. It’s just… well, weird. I don’t play games. This is why I don’t do relationships.”

  “Holy shit!” Kiera shouted. “That fucking douche!”

  “What? What is it?” Olivia asked, getting up from the table and running over to the couch to see what Kiera was looking at on her iPad.

  “I’m not sure you want to see this, Libs,” she said sullenly.

  “Oh, come on. It can’t be that bad.” She pulled the iPad out of her friend’s hand and turned to look at the screen in front of her. Her jaw dropped and she sank onto the couch. She felt her heart shatter into thousands of tiny pieces.

  There was a photo of Alexander entering what appeared to be a country club, accompanied by a strikingly beautiful, tall blonde woman wearing a tight white sundress that accented her huge chest and tiny waist. Olivia continued to read the caption underneath the photograph. “Alexander Burnham spotted entering New London Country Club with Miss Adele Peters. Burnham and Peters have been involved in a tumultuous on and off relationship for the past decade.”

  “So this is why he couldn’t be bothered to text me and why he was so secretive about where he was going this weekend,” Olivia said quietly. She sat there for several long moments, Kiera knowing her friend well enough to not say anything. Sometimes saying nothing said everything.

  How could I be so stupid? Olivia thought to herself. She finally let herself fall for a guy only to find out he was already dating someone else.

  “See. This is exactly why I don’t put myself out there, Kiera. Because this fucking hurts.” Olivia stood up, tossing the iPad back to Kiera, and walked back to the kitchen table.

  “Wait, Libs. I mean, you can’t believe everything you read on the internet. Maybe there’s a perfectly simple explanation for the photo.” Kiera grabbed her iPad and looked at the photo headlining her favorite gossip website. She looked at Alexander and the woman beside him. They were smiling at each other and Kiera could almost see the affection between them. She did a quick image search and was bombarded with photos of the couple. “If it makes you feel any better, Libs, it looks like they’ve known each other since like forever,” Kiera said.

  “What are you doing?” Olivia asked.

  “Just Googling your boytoy. Oh, that sounds so dirty.” Kiera laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

  “Kiera, I love you, but I am so not in the mood,” Olivia said dryly.

  “Libs. Stop it. Stop shutting down. You can’t get like this. It’s one photo on the internet. It doesn’t mean anything.”

  Olivia stood up, walking over to the couch, and grabbed Kiera’s iPad from her.

  “One photo on the internet?” Olivia shouted, looking at the screen with all the photos of Adele and Alexander in recent history. “There’s hundreds of them together. Hundreds! And I am so not the jealous type, but I do not stand for being left in the dark. Even in my fucked up version of relationships pre-Alexander, the one thing I made damn sure of was that it was exclusive. I will not be strung along.” She collapsed onto the couch.

  Kiera hated to see her friend so upset. She knew how fragile Olivia could be at times and the last thing she needed was for her to retreat back into her shell. The shell that she struggled to get her out of for years.

  “Relax, sweetie,” Kiera said, rubbing her friend’s back. “Even if he has no explanation, don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing it upset you. You’re bigger than this and much stronger than this. And you’ll move on from this. There’s someone else out there for you who will worship the ground you walk on.”

  “But I really liked him, Kiera.” She buried her head in her hands, trying to subdue the lump that had started to form in her throat.

  “I know, Libs.” She continued comforting her friend. “Okay. Idea,” Kiera said excitedly. “Let’s get out of here for the weekend. Do something crazy.”

  Olivia thought about it for a minute. If she refused, she would just stay in her house, faced with constant reminders of Alexander. The more she thought about it, the more appealing getting out of town sounded. “Okay. Deal. What did you have in mind?”

  “One word. Gambling therapy.” Kiera grabbed Olivia’s hand and before she knew it, they were on the road, heading for Connecticut and one of the Indian casinos.

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  “Alex! Wake up!” Tyler shouted as he pounded on the door to his bedroom. Alexander rolled over, his head throbbing from all the liquor he consumed the night before. He looked at the clock. He was going to kill Tyler.

  “What the fuck, dude?” he shouted as Tyler barged into Alexander’s old bedroom. “It’s not even ten in the morning, asshole.”

  “No. That clock isn’t right. It’s after two in the afternoon. Get your ass up. We’re going to the casino today. Carol’s idea. Dave is coming down to meet us there. Birthday bash for us.”

  David was Carol’s husband. They met when she enrolled in the police academy over twenty years ago. They had originally been assigned to different precincts and had started dating. They married a few years later. Now, they were both detectives, David working mostly homicides while Carol tended to work more domestic cases.

  “Okay, okay. I’m up. Go find me some aspirin or a Bloody Mary.” Alexander threw off the covers and shuffled into the shower. He couldn’t remember the last time he drank as much. He normally would only have a few drinks when he went out. The previous day was an exception. Based on how he felt that afternoon, he wouldn’t be consuming that much alcohol again for a very long time.

  Alexander got out of the shower and walked back into his bedroom to find a tray sitting on his desk with a glass of water, two aspirin, and a Bloody Mary. “Love ya, Ty,” Alexander shouted down the stairs.

  “I know you do. Now get your ass in gear. The party bus leaves in twenty.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  Kiera and Olivia sat at a trendy club having a few drinks before going back to try some more of their luck at the tables. So far, it had been a rather prosperous evening for the girls. Kiera had been trying to help Olivia forget about Alexander all day. They got to the casino shortly after lunch, checked into the hotel, and spent the afternoon by the pool. They were now enjoying the evening out at the casino. Sitting at the dark bar, Olivia actually felt okay. Not good
. Not fine. But okay. The skimpy black designer dress Kiera shoved at her to wear that evening probably helped. It was nice to see guys staring at her body, especially the long legs that the dress barely covered up.

  “Give it to me, Libs,” Kiera said when she noticed her friend looking at her phone yet again. All day Olivia had been constantly checking for some sort of contact from Alexander.

  “Okay. Sorry. I promise to stop checking it. Just let me check my e-mail and then I’ll turn it off.” Olivia hated lying to her friend, but she wanted to do one more photo search.

  On the drive down to the casino, Olivia found a multitude of photos online of Alexander and Adele. They just looked like they belonged together. Two of the most beautiful people in the world. Olivia wondered what Alexander could have possibly seen in her when he could be with someone as beautiful and stunning as Adele.

  She clicked on the search button and noticed another recent photo, presumably from the same function. She clicked on the image and was brought to another gossip website. In the photo, it looked like Alexander was speaking to Adele, leaning into her ear and whispering. Olivia looked at Adele’s face and could tell just by the expression on it that he must have been telling her something rather sweet and endearing.

  “Fuck him,” Olivia said, turning off her phone. “I’m swearing off men. Kiera, want to be a lesbian with me?”

  Kiera laughed, handing her friend another drink. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m hot on Mo.”

  “You should probably do something about that then, Care Bear. He’s one of the good guys. Apparently there’s not a lot of them left.”

  “Oh, Libs. Don’t rush to judgment so quickly. At least promise me you’ll give him a chance to explain,” Kiera said as she took a drink from her martini. “And then you can stomp on his balls.”