Private Arrangements

by Brenda Jackson

  Nikki leaned back in her chair. “Trust me. He regretted the kiss soon enough and made sure he kept his distance whenever we would run into each other after that. In fact, the first time we came in breathing space of each other again was at your wedding.”

  She could remember that day like it was yesterday. She had been one of the bridesmaids and he one of the groomsmen. She had avoided him like he’d been determined to avoid her.

  “And I saw him again when I was the photographer at Eli’s wedding,” she said, stirring her soup. She shook her head. “It’s funny we only seem to run into each other at weddings.”

  Nikki paused, remembering that day at Eli’s wedding. She could have sworn more than once Jonas’s gaze had been on her, but when she would glance over at him he would be either engaged in deep conversation with someone or looking someplace else. “I was surprised when I got a call from him three days ago asking that we meet to discuss a business proposition.”

  “The Fulton deal?”

  “Yes. We met, he made the offer and I turned him down.”

  “Why?”

  Nikki met Brittany’s gaze. “Because I knew I would not be able to control myself around him…which leads to my next confession.”

  “Which is?”

  “I’m not living in the fast lane like I led you to believe on that night. I gave you the impression that I’d given up believing in a knight in shining armor and that I was independent, empowered, a woman on the move. A woman who wanted nothing more than a casual affair with a man. I wanted to believe I was all those things and had convinced myself I could be. But…”

  “But what?”

  “I blew a big chance to prove myself with Jonas this week, which leads me to believe that I might not be as ready to move out of my comfort zone as I thought. Deep down a part of me is still programmed to believe in happy endings and everything that goes along with it—love, happiness and commitment. But then there’s another part that knows such things no longer exist for most women and that I need to stop reaching for a fantasy and accept reality. I can’t have it both ways.”

  She pushed her soup bowl aside. “So all that advice I gave you that night was all talk, and nothing that I would have had the courage to try myself.”

  A smile touched Brittany’s lips. “All talk or not, it was good advice and if I hadn’t taken it, I wouldn’t have Galen.” She leaned back in her chair and eyed Nikki squarely. “Sounds to me like there’s a battle going on inside of you. Your head against your heart. Your head is filled with notions of how today’s woman should act and the things she should want, versus the things that your heart—the heart of a romantic—wants. That old-fashioned happy ever after.”

  Brittany chuckled. “And don’t you dare ask me which one you should listen to. That’s a decision only you can make, and you’ll know when it’s the right one.”

  Nikki shook her head. “Not sure about that, and I might have muddied the waters even more. Jonas and I kissed again the other night.”

  The expression on Brittany’s face showed she wasn’t surprised. “And?”

  “For me it was better than the first time, and there’s no doubt in my mind that he enjoyed it as much as I did. But I know the score, Britt. Jonas is a bona fide player who doesn’t have a serious bone in his body.”

  “And you want to become a female version?”

  Nikki shrugged. “Not to that degree, but you know what they’re saying. Good men are extinct, and more and more women aren’t depending on a man for their happiness.”

  “They’re saying. And just who are they?”

  “Magazine articles, talk shows, reality shows, anybody you ask. Finding love, happiness and commitment is as unlikely as walking down the street and finding a million-dollar bill.”

  Brittany chuckled. “There aren’t million-dollar bills.”

  Nikki giggled. “See there, another reason not to waste your time looking.”

  Brittany shook her head. “Seriously, in the end you have to do what makes you happy.”

  “But what happens if what makes me happy is something not good for me?”

  “Then you’ll know it and eventually reject it. In the end, either your head or your heart will win.” Brittany paused a second and then asked, “So what are you going to do about Jonas and that job offer? Is it too late to tell him you’ve changed your mind and want it after all?”

  Did she want it after all? Nikki nibbled on her bottom lip. Nothing had changed since two nights ago. She still didn’t feel comfortable working so closely with Jonas again. But in reality she realized that something had changed. She no longer had choices with her employment situation. She needed a job.

  She was still attracted to him and it seemed he was attracted to her. But for how long? She couldn’t forget his reputation when it came to women. “Not sure what I’m going to do yet. To go back and tell Jonas that I’ve changed my mind and will work for him is easier said than done. The issues I had with it then are the same issues I have now. And it wouldn’t hurt if he wasn’t so cynical.”

  Brittany laughed. “Yes, he’s definitely that. I love my brothers-in-law, but they’re hard-core players. However, look at Galen and Eli—so were they once. So maybe there’s hope.”

  Nikki didn’t know about the others but figured that hope was on the other end of the spectrum when it came to Jonas. However, at some point she needed to see it as his problem and not hers. She had allowed his way of thinking and acting to rain on her parade, and that wasn’t fair. She should not have been afraid of taking that job for fear of how she would act based on his actions.

  She sighed upon realizing she had turned down what could have been her big break because of him. Instead of taking his offer and taking him on in the process, she had given in to her fears and backed away.

  She glanced up at Brittany and took a deep breath. “My financial needs outweigh my emotional ones right now. And you’re right. It will be a battle between my head and my heart. I just hope I can survive the fight.”

  3 days later

  “Mr. Steele, Nikki Cartwright is here to see you.”

  Jonas looked up from the document he was reading when his secretary’s voice came across the intercom. Finally, he thought. It had taken Nikki almost a week to come calling, and for a minute he’d gotten worried that perhaps he’d misplayed his hand and there was some other job she had lined up that he hadn’t known about. He tossed what was left of his Tootsie Pop in the trash can by his desk, leaned back in his chair and smiled. Evidently that wasn’t the case.

  “Give me a few minutes to wrap up this report, Gail, and then send her in,” he said, standing to straighten his tie. He didn’t have any report to wrap up. He needed the extra time to prepare himself mentally for the woman he couldn’t get out of his mind. He sniffed the air; he inhaled her scent already.

  He checked to make sure his shirt was neatly tucked into his pants while thinking that he would discount the fact it had taken manipulation on his part to get her here. After their second kiss, it had become extremely clear to him just how much he wanted Nikki in his bed, and at that point he had decided he would do whatever it took to get her there. Sleeping with her once should do it. He was convinced of it.

  He was marveling over the brilliance of that supposition when he heard the soft knock on his office door. “Come in.”

  His gaze connected with hers the moment the door opened. He swallowed tightly and immediately thought he might need to sleep with her more than once. It would be breaking a rule, but some rules were made to be broken. “Nikki, this is a surprise.” Like hell it was. He’d been expecting her. Hoping she would take the bait and decide she needed to work for him after all.

  “I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time, Jonas. I thought about calling but figured it would be best if w
e talked in person.”

  “Sure, have a seat.”

  He watched her cross the room to the chair he offered, and thought she looked fresh in her jeans and pretty blue blouse. He liked how the denim fit over her soft curves. Seeing her in a dress that night had taken the guesswork out of what her legs looked like, and he hated that she’d covered them up today.

  “You can have one of those,” he said of the Tootsie Pops in a candy jar on a table near Nikki’s chair.

  “No, thank you. I don’t normally have a sweet tooth.”

  He had to bite back from saying sweet tooth or not, what he’d tasted of her so far was simply delicious. He went to sit on the edge of his desk to face her, inhale her scent, recall the fantasies he’d had of her just last night. They’d been hot, lustful, erection-throbbing fantasies of him riding her. Her riding him. Oral sex. Can’t-walk-the-next-day sex. When his stomach clenched he figured he better get his thoughts under control and out from under the bedcovers.

  “So what can I help you with, Nikki?”

  She began nibbling on her bottom lip, which meant she was nervous. He felt his erection throb, which meant he was horny. With effort, he pushed from his mind the thought of just what those two things might have in common.

  “The other night you offered me the chance to work with you on the Fulton project.”

  He nodded slowly. “Yes, and you turned me down.”

  She looked good today, sexy as hell. Innocent and hot all rolled into one. There was something about that curly hair of hers and the way it crowned her face. It teased the primal maleness inside of him. And that errant curl that seemed to always be out of place, falling just so between her brows, was hammering something fierce below his belt.

  “Yes, but later you said you would hold the offer for at least a week, in case I changed my mind,” she reminded him.

  He held back from telling her he didn’t need reminding. He knew just what he said, how he’d said it and why he’d said it. It was right after deciding, that whether he liked it or not, eighteen months hadn’t rid him of his desire for her and he would risk any feelings of vulnerability that bedding her would bring on. The main thing was to get her out of his system so things could go back to normal for him.

  “Yes, I did say that. So, have you changed your mind, Nikki?”

  “Yes. Does that mean the job is still available and you’ll consider me for it?”

  “Like I told you, I want the best and I consider your skill with a camera unsurpassed.” That was the truth and had nothing to do with his plan to get her in his bed. The bedding part was a done deal as far as he was concerned.

  “Thanks.” She began nibbling on those lips again and there was silence between them. There was more she wanted to say, he knew, but she was hesitating.

  “I take it that there’s something else you need to clear the air about before you make your final decision.” He couldn’t let her sit there and gnaw her mouth off. He couldn’t afford for her to do that, not when he had plans for that luscious-looking mouth of hers.

  She sat up straight in her chair. “Yes, there is. We’ve kissed. Twice now.”

  He nodded, fighting back the urge to tell her that was for starters and didn’t come close to all the other things he intended for them to do now that he’d made up his mind about a few things regarding her. “Yes, that’s twice now.”

  “It can’t happen again. You did say you’re willing to keep your hands to yourself.”

  Yes, he had said that. But that didn’t necessarily mean he’d meant it. “Is that what you want?”

  He’d seen it. She hadn’t been quick enough to disguise that flash that had appeared in her eyes. He knew what it meant so whatever she said now didn’t matter one iota.

  “Yes, that’s what I want.”

  Yeah, right. “Okay, I’ll give you what you want.” And he meant every word. She was going to discover soon enough that a hands-off policy between them was the last thing she really wanted.

  He pushed away from his desk. “So, are you going to work for me?”

  When she hesitated, he lifted a brow and a smile touched his lips. “What? Do you need me to put the strictly business policy in writing or something?”

  She stood as well. “Of course not.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “Nothing.”

  He tilted his head. “I think there is something bothering you.”

  She adjusted the straps of her purse on her shoulder. He couldn’t resist breathing in her scent and almost groaned.

  “No, I’m fine.”

  You definitely are. “If you’re sure, we can shake on it for now and then Gail will have your contract ready in a few days. Like I told you there’s a launch party to attend in Las Vegas.”

  She nodded. “I’ll be there. I just need the itinerary.”

  “Gail will call you when that’s prepared as well.”

  He crossed the room to her, refused to consider the very real fact that he hadn’t been completely honest with her about everything and that she probably wouldn’t like it one damn bit when she found out how he’d manipulated things to get what he wanted.

  Jonas reached his hand out to her and she took it, and he immediately felt his body’s reaction to the feel of her smaller hand in his. “Welcome aboard, Nikki. I’m looking forward to working with you again.”

  He knew she felt something as well, although she was struggling hard not to. She tried not to make eye contact with him. Tried not to glance down at their joined hands. “Thanks, Jonas.”

  When she began nibbling on her lips again he figured it was time to release her hand. “You still have my mobile number, right?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Use it to contact me if you have any questions. I’m attending a wedding this weekend in New York, and from there I’m flying out for Vegas.” A smile touched his lips. “I plan to have a little fun in Sin City before work begins.”

  He saw another flash that flitted in her eyes before she had time to hide it. Um, was the mention of his fun time in Vegas causing her worry? Should he take that as a red flag that the forever-after side of her had a tendency to show every once in a while? Hell, he hoped not since that sort of thinking was a waste of time with him.

  “Enjoy yourself.”

  His grin was mischievous. “I intend to.”

  She tilted her head slightly and the mass of dark curls hid one eye so he couldn’t completely figure out what she was thinking. “We’ll be in Vegas a few days before flying to Los Angeles,” he said while leading her to the door. “That’s where we’ll board the Velocity. And from there our two-week adventure begins.”

  What he didn’t add was how much he was looking forward to that time. He intended to work hard and play even harder. “Any questions, Nikki?”

  She shook her head. “No questions. I’ll see you in Vegas, ready to work.”

  Every muscle in his body reacted to the thought of them working closely together. In the conference room. In the bedroom.

  Chapter 6

  Nikki clutched her hand to her chest as she stared out the taxi’s window. For as far as her eyes could see, there were tall elegant hotels, neon signs, glitter and glitz. Sin City. She could just imagine all the transgressions being performed and knew all of it wasn’t at the slot machines. She shook her head. What had she expected from a state where prostitution was legal?

  “Your first time in Vegas?”

  She glanced up at the driver. Truth be told, it might be her last time as well. She was feeling overwhelmed. “Yes, and I doubt I’ve ever seen anything like it.”

  She figured there was no decline in the economy here, at least there shouldn’t be. The casinos never closed. And just how many Elvis impersonato
rs had she seen since leaving the airport?

  “You haven’t seen anything yet. Just wait until this place lights up at night. That’s when everything looks spectacular.”

  She could only imagine. Twice in the past she’d made plans to come to Vegas, but each time those plans had fallen through for some reason or another, leading her to believe there was a bad omen between her and this city.

  Nikki didn’t want to consider the possibility that her being here now didn’t bode well, either. She had gotten a call from Jonas’s secretary a few days ago letting her know there had been a change and she was needed in Vegas earlier than originally planned. In addition to rearranging her schedule, she had rushed to do some shopping to make sure she had all the appropriate outfits she would need beside her usual jeans and blouses. She couldn’t help wondering what turn of events had made Jonas decide she needed to be here ahead of her scheduled time.

  As the cab continued to whisk her along the Vegas Strip, a part of her tried downplaying her excitement in seeing Jonas again. She should really get over it—and him, to boot. Wasn’t he the same man who’d kissed her twice already and then told her he planned to leave for Vegas a few days early to have fun—no doubt with other women? Not that she thought those kisses had meant anything to him, mind you. But it was the principle of the thing.

  But that’s just it, Nikki. Men like Jonas have no principles. When will you finally see that?

  She let out a frustrated sigh. It’s not that she didn’t know it, because she did. It was her heart side—the one still filled with idealistic hopes and dreams—working against her, refusing to accept what her head already knew but just refused to accept on most good days.

  She looked down at the camera around her neck and was reminded of the real reason she was here. It wasn’t about Jonas. It was about her doing a good job and making a name for herself. If she didn’t succeed at this project she would have no one to blame but herself.