God Don't Play

by Mary Monroe

  I followed some muffled voices into the kitchen where I found him and Charlotte sitting at the kitchen table. There was a half-finished Snow White puzzle on the table. Pee Wee looked up, his hand full of puzzle pieces. There was a look on his face that I decided was guilt. I held up my hand just as he opened his mouth to speak.

  “Charlotte, go to your room,” I ordered, my jaw twitching. I slung my purse over my shoulder and dropped the mail onto the kitchen counter.

  “Why come?” Charlotte wailed. I was glad to see that she was already in her pajamas.

  The kitchen sink was full of dirty dishes. Fast-food containers and empty Pepsi cans littered part of the counter. There was a skillet on top of the stove that contained a flat sheet of corn bread with some lumps on one side. The mess in the kitchen told me a familiar story. Pee Wee had attempted to cook dinner. I could smell the greens he had burned.

  “Annette,” Pee Wee began, rising, holding up his hand, too.

  The more I looked at him, the more he looked like a guilty man. I held up both hands.

  “You just hold it right there,” I said firmly, my eyes following Charlotte with a stern look until she disappeared from the kitchen. I heard her stomp all the way upstairs to her room.

  “Annette, I need to tell you—” Pee Wee started again, plopping back down into his chair so hard it almost rocked to the floor.

  “You…you no-good…punk!” I shrieked, shaking so hard I got dizzy.

  “Huh?” Pee Wee gasped.

  “Shut up! Just shut up!” I hollered. I shot across the floor in Pee Wee’s direction. Without attempting to say another word he covered his face with his hands, but he couldn’t conceal his guilt with a hood. “You no-good, two-timing whore-monger!” The brutal words flew out of my mouth like flies. “You think you can make a fool out of me? Well, I got news for your black ass! I am not going to take any shit from you!” I was talking so fast and hard that my teeth accidentally bit into my tongue hard enough to draw blood. I swallowed the salty blood and rotated my tongue a few quick times until I could no longer taste any blood.

  Pee Wee gasped and uncovered his face. There was such an incredulous look on his face, it looked like a mask. His eyes were stretched open so wide it looked like they wanted to pop out of his head. His mouth dropped open and he stared at me so hard it felt like a heat wave had entered the room. He shot up out of his chair, kicking it backward. I had known this man most of my life and I could count on one hand the number of times I’d seen him angry.

  “What in the hell—”

  “Shut up!” I shouted, my hands on my hips.

  There had never been any violence in our relationship. As far as I knew, Pee Wee had never hit a woman in his life.

  I had only resorted to violence two times in my life: During my senior prom a girl who had bullied me all through school threw some fruit punch on my prom dress. The sucker punch that I surprised her with sent her to kingdom come, scattering a few of her teeth along the way. Several years later, my ex-fiancé, Jerome Cunningham, attacked me when he found out I had turned a few tricks during my teens. I had retaliated by giving him the beating of his life. I was proud of the fact that I had not raised my hand to anyone else since then. But I would if I had to. Even if it was Pee Wee.

  “How long did you think it would take before I found out?” I demanded, shaking my fist in his direction.

  “Found out what?” Now his hands were on his hips. He still had on the shirt that he had worn to work, but he had on a pair of pajama bottoms and his favorite house shoes.

  “About you and your bitch! I know all about it and before I let you make a fool out of me, I will divorce the hell out of you! I will take everything you own but your citizenship! Then I will take Charlotte to Florida and you’ll only get to see her when I say so! I don’t have to take this shit from you! Just like I got you, I can get me another man. You black-ass nigger!”

  For a moment it looked like Pee Wee was going to laugh. He narrowed his eyes and shook his head and the most incredulous look I’d ever seen on his face appeared.

  “What in the world…Woman, what in the hell are you talkin’ about?”

  CHAPTER 30

  “I know you are having an affair!” I lifted my hand to slap Pee Wee, but he grabbed my wrist and held it so hard it felt like I’d been handcuffed.

  “I don’t know what in the hell you are talkin’ about!”

  Just then the telephone rang.

  “I bet that’s your whore calling again!” I snatched my hand from his and ran to the telephone. “HELLO!” I yelled. There was some dead silence at first. Just as I was about to yell again I heard a nervous, low whimper.

  “Annette, baby, you need to get over here.” It was Muh’-Dear. She had never sounded so weak in her life.

  “Muh’Dear, what’s wrong?”

  “Didn’t Pee Wee tell you?”

  I glanced at Pee Wee. The guilt was gone from his face. I couldn’t decide what the look on his face said now.

  “Didn’t Pee Wee tell me what?” I asked, looking into Pee Wee’s eyes. “Muh’Dear, where are you?”

  Pee Wee came and stood next to me and took the telephone. “Your daddy had a heart attack. He’s at the hospital,” Pee Wee said. He rubbed the back of his neck and let out a loud sigh. “The doctor said he might make it through the night, and he might not.”

  “What did you say?” I didn’t even recognize my own voice. I wondered if I was having an out-of-body experience. I shook my head and looked around my cute little kitchen. Pee Wee and Otis had painted the walls a pale yellow, and that looked good with the bright white new stove and refrigerator we had bought a few months ago. There was a large calendar on the wall with a very good likeness of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on it. For a second it looked like the picture on the calendar was moving. I prayed silently that I would not lose my mind until I found out what had happened to my daddy, and straightened out the mess between me and the woman who wanted my husband. The insides of my mouth suddenly tasted like metal and my teeth felt like rocks.

  “Your daddy had a heart attack while he was sittin’ at the table eatin’ dinner this evenin’,” Muh’Dear was saying. “I know it was them day-old turnip greens what done it. I put too much pork in ’em this time. Girl, I been callin’ all over town lookin’ for you. Them hens at the beauty shop said you’d just left when I called there. You just now gettin’ home?”

  “I…I went out for a drink with Rhoda after I left the beauty shop,” I mumbled. “Is Daddy all right?”

  “Girl, did you hear what I just said? The man had him a heart attack! Folks don’t have heart attacks when they ‘all right’ and you should know that by now.”

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “My daddy is as strong as a bull. He…he had a heart attack? Are you sure?” I covered the left side of my chest because a sharp pain had just shot through it. I thought I was having a heart attack, too. I managed to compose myself. “My daddy’s in the hospital?” I asked in a hoarse whisper.

  “That’s what I been tryin’ to tell you,” Pee Wee said gently. He looked away from me and said something to Muh’Dear, then he hung up the telephone. He pursed his lips and sucked on his teeth, looking at me like he was seeing me for the first time. “Now this other shit you talkin’ about, whatever the hell it is, it’s goin’ to have to wait until later,” he declared in a firm voice, moving toward the door.

  I nodded. “I…I guess it can wait,” I stammered.

  “Let me get in my clothes so we can get out to that hospital,” he told me, glancing at me over his shoulder as he left the kitchen.

  Rhoda and Pee Wee accompanied me to the hospital. Jade had given up a date to stay at my house and babysit Charlotte. Otis was one of Daddy’s fishing buddies, and he had wanted to come to the hospital with us, but Rhoda had made him stay home to keep their houseguest company. I wondered just how much longer that man would be referred to as a houseguest. Especially since O.J. Simpson’s so-called houseguest, Kat
o Kaelin, had given houseguests such a bad name. These were the thoughts going through my head as we marched through the hospital corridor. I almost mowed down a few people in hospital gowns who already looked like they’d been mowed down enough. I had decided that if I could distract myself enough, I wouldn’t spend too much time thinking about my real problems.

  “It’s about time you got here,” Muh’Dear said in a gruff voice as soon as we entered Daddy’s room. It was the same room where my beloved stepfather had died. As soon as I realized that, I felt like I was going to faint. Somehow I managed to remain reasonably composed.

  Muh’Dear sat on the side of the bed that Daddy was propped up in, already looking like he had been embalmed. My heart jumped when I saw him, and then I almost threw up. I had to cover my mouth and my nose for a moment. The smell in the room was overwhelming. It was like a combination of mothballs, urine, and that harsh antiseptic odor that was so common in hospitals.

  “And not a minute too soon,” said Scary Mary, the most obnoxious senior citizen I knew.

  As annoying as Scary Mary was, I loved this woman with all my heart. From the time that I was a toddler, she’d been there when Muh’Dear and I needed her the most. In all the many years that she’d been in our lives, she had never revealed her real name or her age; both varied from one year to the next. She had had several husbands, and there was some question about her legal last name. Some folks said she called herself “Mary X” on paper. She was now somewhere in her eighties, but she was still as spry as a colt. She had always been vague about her background. Other than her middle-aged, severely retarded daughter, Mott, the only “family” that she claimed were Muh’Dear and me, and the five jaded prostitutes who worked for her.

  “It took you long enough to get here, girl,” Scary Mary huffed. Her narrowed eyes looked more like slits. She cleared her throat and clenched her false teeth, flipping her tongue up and down to make sure they stayed in place. After she adjusted her fluffy red wig, she sniffed and scratched the long scar that she’d sustained in a fight several generations ago on her long, reddish brown face. She occupied a chair facing the bed with her long, flabby legs crossed. I had to wonder what store clerk had been able to talk this old crone into buying the black-leather pants she wore so proudly. “I guess you had better things to do, huh?” Scary Mary pinched some lint off her sweater and flipped it to the floor.

  “I just got the message,” I wailed, leaning over the bed to feel Daddy’s forehead. He felt like a piece of wood. Pee Wee stood at the foot of the bed. Rhoda was right behind me, literally breathing down my neck. “Daddy, are you all right?” I asked. Before he could respond, I turned to Muh’Dear. “What happened? Is he going to be all right?”

  “He old, that’s what happened,” Muh’Dear sighed.

  Mixed in with all the other irritating scents in the room was the smell of alcohol. But not the kind you’d expect to find in a hospital. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Scary Mary whip a brown paper bag from one of the pockets on the plain blue smock that she had on over her pink cashmere sweater. She took a few quick sips from a pint-sized bottle in the bag before she slipped it back in her pocket. I rubbed my nose and pulled the covers up to Daddy’s neck.

  Daddy was asleep but from the way his face was twisted and the fact that he was breathing so loud, I decided he was in pain. “Daddy, I’m here. Everything is going to be fine,” I said weakly, turning back to Muh’Dear.

  “It’s his heart,” Muh’Dear said before I could ask again.

  I felt a twinge in my own heart. “Just like my stepdaddy,” I muttered, wishing Scary Mary would offer me some of whatever it was she had in the bottle in that brown paper bag.

  CHAPTER 31

  As much as I hated hospitals I didn’t want to go home. One, I didn’t want to leave until I was able to speak with Daddy. I had to put all of my concerns aside so that I could focus on him.

  But Daddy was under so much sedation it was unlikely that he would wake up before the next morning. Another reason I didn’t want to go home was because I didn’t want to have to finish the confrontation I’d started with Pee Wee a couple of hours ago. I had no choice but to tell him about what I’d been going through with the woman who was determined to take him from me. No matter what, it had come to that now.

  I tried to keep things in perspective. Despite the nasty little situation with my anonymous tormentor and Daddy’s medical problems, I still had a wonderful life. I was thankful that I still had my health, a good job, and a beautiful daughter. And I had survived some serious obstacles. Most people would have already checked themselves into the nuthouse if they had been in my shoes.

  But the last ten years had been especially enjoyable. I was thankful that nobody could take that away from me. I had worked hard for everything I had: my job, my marriage, and my sanity. I had too much to lose and nothing to gain by letting some ignorant jackass disrupt my life. However, I did know where to draw the line. If I was facing a losing battle anyway, I wanted out of it as soon as possible. One thing I had to say about myself was that I didn’t stay anywhere where I wasn’t wanted. And that included relationships. If my husband had grown tired of me, I was not going to try to hold on to him. But like I’d felt from the beginning of this mess, I wouldn’t make it that easy for him or his whore.

  I was glad that Rhoda was in the car with Pee Wee and me. She had folded herself into a corner on the backseat directly behind me on the passenger’s side of my car. But the ride home was still difficult. Nobody talked.

  When we dropped Rhoda off at her house, she looked at me and winked. “Uh, if you get a chance call me later tonight. I’ll be prayin’ for your daddy,” she said. “’Bye, y’all,” she added with a crooked smile. She gave Pee Wee a light pat on his shoulder.

  One thing I had to remind myself was the fact that Pee Wee and Rhoda had been best friends before I came along. He had been the one that she had shared all of her secrets with then. They were still close and I didn’t know for sure, but I would have bet good money that Rhoda shared things with Pee Wee now that she didn’t even share with her husband or me. If I had to give Pee Wee up, it would have a profound impact on my relationship with Rhoda. I couldn’t stand to think about that, too.

  “I’ll call you,” was all I said to her.

  Pee Wee and I rode in silence for about five minutes. He started tapping the side of the steering wheel with his fingers, another one of the many little things he did that annoyed me, and I had told him about it time after time. He stopped when I shot him a hot look.

  “You ready to talk?” he asked, clearing his throat.

  “It can wait,” I said flatly. “My main concern is my daddy.”

  “No, it can’t wait, goddammit. I’m just as concerned about your daddy as you are. But you came at me with some pretty serious shit before we left the house, and I want to know what that was all about.”

  “Why don’t you tell me?” I barked, glaring at him again.

  He glanced at me briefly, but seemed to prefer keeping his eyes on the road. He cleared his throat again and gripped the steering wheel, ignoring the twenty-mile-an-hour speed limit.

  “Will you slow down? All we need now is a speeding ticket on top of everything else,” I said, glancing at the side mirror.

  “And just what is it you want me to tell you?” he asked, slowing the car down to a crawl.

  Now I was concerned that we’d get a ticket for driving too slow. But since there were no cars immediately behind us and I didn’t see any police cars around, I didn’t say anything about that. I had other things on my mind that needed to be said.

  “Are you having an affair?” I asked, looking at the side of his head. He gasped and almost ran off the road.

  “Woman, who in the hell would I be havin’ a goddamn affair with?”

  “I have a pretty good idea, but I want to hear it from you!” I yelled, my eyes still on the side of his head. He turned just enough to see me and keep his eyes on the road at the sam
e time. His mouth fell open, he eyes blinked hard and fast. “Whoever the bitch is, she’s been sending me all kinds of shit through the mail. She called the house the other day and today she called me at my office.”

  “And she claims she’s havin’ an affair with me?” This time Pee Wee glanced at me with an amused look on his face. “I’m flattered as hell. I guess I ain’t the gray-haired old fossil I thought I was, after all.”

  “So is it true?” I mouthed. I wanted to slap the daylights out of him, but that would have been too mild. Then I wanted to stomp him into the ground. I surprised myself at how easy it was for a nonviolent person like me to be having such violent thoughts.

  “Hell no, it ain’t true!” he bellowed, slapping the dashboard so hard the radio came on. He flipped it back off, mumbling and laughing under his breath.

  “You can sit there on your black-and-gray ass and laugh all you want to. But I bet you won’t be laughing so much by the time my lawyer gets through socking it to you.”

  “Is this all because you want a divorce?”

  “This is because of you and some woman. And if what she’s claiming is true, I am through with you.”

  “I tell you what, you ask this mystery woman to prove that I’m fuckin’ her. Then we’ll go from there. Put some proof out there.”

  The last thing I wanted was to hear from the mystery woman again. Especially if she had proof that she was having an affair with my man.

  “If there’s proof out there, I will get that proof. Now, I’m through talking about this shit tonight,” I insisted. I sniffed and twisted my body in my seat, so that I was pushed against the door on my side. The car was as silent as a tomb the rest of the way home.