God Don't Play

by Mary Monroe

  In all of the years that I had known Rhoda, I had never seen her show fear. Until now.

  “You’re hurtin’ me,” she whimpered with a look on her face that resembled a deer caught in somebody’s headlights.

  I nodded. “I want you to leave my house,” I said, surprised that I sounded so calm.

  Before either of us could speak again Pee Wee, Daddy, Muh’Dear, and Scary Mary burst into the kitchen, all looking like wild people.

  “What in the world is goin’ on in here?” Muh’Dear wanted to know. She looked from Rhoda to me, her mouth hanging open like a dipper.

  “Sounded like y’all was tearin’ down the house,” Scary Mary said, fanning her face with her hand. She almost looked amused as she padded across the floor and stood next to me.

  I still had Rhoda in a death grip, my hands around her wrists like handcuffs. She was still struggling to get free.

  “Annette, you turn Rhoda loose!” Pee Wee ordered, holding up his hand as he moved toward me. “Y’all done both lost your minds!”

  “What she do to you?” Daddy asked me, leaning against the stove, rubbing his chest with his crooked, arthritic hand.

  “It’s all right,” I said, realizing how stupid that sounded even before I got it out of my mouth. It was not all right. I never thought I’d see the day that Rhoda would raise her hand to me. And I never thought I’d see the day that I would do what I had done to her.

  Pee Wee pried my hands from around Rhoda’s wrists. I think I’d surprised Rhoda more than I’d surprised myself. She had the most incredulous look on her face as she rubbed her wrists and backed toward the kitchen door.

  “Will somebody tell me what in the world is happenin’ in here?” Muh’Dear insisted.

  She dabbed at my lips with a wet paper towel. I was surprised to see the blood on it.

  “Y’all in here actin’ like savages!”

  “I want you out of my house,” I said, pointing to Rhoda. The look she gave me was downright frightening. Her eyes didn’t blink, nothing on her face moved. “I said I want you out of my house, Rhoda,” I repeated, moving toward her.

  If anybody had told me that I was the only thing that could frighten Rhoda, I would have laughed. After I’d finished laughing, I would have told them that they were crazy. This was the same woman who had killed and gotten away with it so that she could kill and kill again.

  Rhoda left my house through the kitchen door, dragging her tiny feet like they weighed a ton.

  I looked from Pee Wee to the rest of the people in the room. “I don’t want to talk about this. Not tonight, not ever,” I said, moving toward the door.

  “Girl, I know you don’t think we ain’t gwine to get to the bottom of this mess,” Scary Mary said, following me from the kitchen back to my living room. Everybody else filed behind her, looking like black sheep.

  “Rhoda’s daughter was the one sendin’ them notes and makin’ them phone calls to Annette,” Pee Wee said.

  There were enough gasps in the room to put out a burning bush.

  “Why?” Muh’Dear shouted, a wild-eyed look on her face.

  Pee Wee shrugged. “Jade got a notion in her that me and her was goin’ to be together if she chased Annette out of town,” he explained, looking embarrassed.

  There were more gasps.

  “What? Why—you? What in the world would a pretty young girl like Jade want with a dried-up old fossil like you?” Scary Mary roared. “I wouldn’t even want you!”

  Pee Wee looked at me and snickered. I knew he couldn’t help himself.

  I let out a painful sigh and then I went upstairs to my bedroom. I crawled into my bed, clothes and all.

  CHAPTER 69

  I had been in bed for about an hour when Pee Wee finally entered our bedroom.

  “Baby,” he said, patting the side of my hip. I had my back to him.

  “I don’t want to talk about what happened between me and Rhoda,” I muttered, hoping he couldn’t tell from my voice that I had been crying. I had cried so that my eyes became so swollen I couldn’t even close them. I was sorry that I couldn’t because it hurt to see all the blood smeared on my pillow.

  “That’s fine with me. I just want to make sure you are all right. You’ve been through a lot lately.”

  “I’m fine,” I said. I didn’t turn over, but I did reach up and squeeze Pee Wee’s hand. He squeezed back.

  I slept like a baby that night. When I woke up, Pee Wee was sitting on my side of the bed, just staring at me. He smiled.

  “I think I need to take you on a vacation,” he said. “You need somethin’ to fix up your mess of a life.”

  “In that case, you’d better take me on a vacation to see the Wizard of Oz,” I told him, struggling to sit up. “You didn’t fuck Betty Jean. And you certainly didn’t fuck Jade,” I stated. “Just tell me…Tell me you didn’t,” I said with a pleading look.

  Pee Wee let out a deep breath, shook his head, and clasped his hands.

  “I didn’t. Why should I, when I got me a queen like you?” he asked, giving me a look that almost reduced me to tears, again.

  “Well, I don’t feel like anybody’s queen today,” I admitted as I rubbed the side of my face, and the top and sides of my head, all of the places where Rhoda had struck me. “Do I have black eyes?”

  Pee Wee shook his head. “No, but them scratches don’t do much for you. They look like spiderwebs.”

  I gave him a pensive look. “I can’t believe Rhoda jumped on me,” I swooned, rubbing the side of my face.

  Pee Wee gave me a serious look before he replied, “I can.”

  “I am going to miss her,” I whispered. “We’ll never get past this.”

  Pee Wee stared at me with a half smile on his face. Then he broke into a broad grin, licking his lips with his tongue before he told me, “Yes, you will.”

  I shook my head and gave him a thoughtful look. “I hope you can forget all this. I mean, all that shit I said about you and Betty Jean, and you and Jade.”

  “Oh, I ain’t worried about none of that,” he said, making a dismissive gesture with his hand. “But I tell you one thing, I hope you don’t never hit me again. I had knots on my face and head for days.”

  He laughed. I laughed, even though I was falling apart inside.

  “When do you plan on goin’ back to work?” Pee Wee asked, gently touching my hand.

  “Soon. That’s if I still have a job.”

  “I don’t think you have to worry about that. Old man Mizelle called the other night to see how you were doin’. He advised me to keep you off work for at least another two weeks.”

  “Oh.” I stared at a crack on the wall. “What did you say about a vacation?”

  “You want to go over to Erie for a few days?”

  I grinned and shook my head. “Pennsylvania?” I gasped. “I thought you meant a vacation vacation. Like a few days at a bed-and-breakfast in Connecticut or a weekend in Atlantic City.” I chuckled, even though it hurt. “I’d rather go back to work.”

  “Whatever you say, baby. But if you change your mind, all you have to do is let me know.”

  I didn’t sleep at all that night. We made love so many times, I lost count.

  CHAPTER 70

  When the telephone on the nightstand rang the next morning and woke me up, I assumed it was Muh’Dear or even worse, Scary Mary. Even though I had told them that I didn’t want to talk about what happened in my kitchen between Rhoda and me, I knew that they would both badger me until I did.

  “Yes,” I mumbled. Pee Wee’s side of the bed was empty. While I was clutching the telephone in one hand, my other hand grabbed a note he’d left on the nightstand: “Gone to work. Love you,” it said. There was a p.s. that said, “I took Charlotte to school. Please get some rest and be ready for me when I get home…” I smiled.

  “Hello,” I said, sitting up.

  There was nothing but silence and then a low whimper. “Annette.”

  It was Rhoda!

&nb
sp; “What the hell—” It seemed like every emotion known to man consumed me, all at the same time. I wanted to cry, scream, throw something at the wall. I wanted to run outside and jump up and down. I wanted peace.

  “Annette, please don’t hang up. I beg of you.” Rhoda had never begged me for anything in her entire life. “I need you! I have somethin’ to say to you.”

  “You don’t have anything to say to me that I’d want to hear, Rhoda!”

  “Listen to me! Jade told me the truth last night.” Rhoda blurted the words out so loud and fast, it took me a moment to comprehend what she was saying. “She told me the truth about everything. I…I’m so sorry.”

  “You should be,” I said gruffly. “You know me well enough to know I wouldn’t make all that shit up.”

  “You’re right. And, like I said, I am so sorry.” Rhoda choked back a sob.

  There was more silence. Finally, I spoke. “So where do we go from here?”

  “You’ve always been there for me. When my…When my son died, you dropped everything and you came runnin’ right away, all the way from Pennsylvania.”

  “And I’d do it again, Rhoda.” I couldn’t describe how I was feeling now.

  “I need you to do it again…”

  “What? What are you saying? You didn’t do anything stupid, did you?”

  “Other than what I did in your house last night, no. It’s my daughter…my baby, Jade…” Rhoda stopped. She was crying so hard she was choking.

  “Rhoda, calm down. Where are you?”

  It took her a few moments to compose herself. “I’m at the Richland City Hospital,” she said stiffly.

  “Omigod! Rhoda, what’s happened? Did you have another stroke? Why are you at the hospital?”

  It was only a few seconds but it seemed like an eternity before Rhoda spoke again. “My daughter is dyin’. After I confronted her, she ran off and locked herself in her room. Then she…She swallowed…She swallowed some pills.” Rhoda paused. “I’m about to lose her, too. She wants to die!”

  CHAPTER 71

  Rhoda and I were occupying a white plastic table in the hospital cafeteria, trying to eat some hard scones and drink some muddy coffee. After just a few minutes, we gave up. And it was just as well, because a thin film of some slimy shit settled on top of the coffee.

  “Jade knows about me and Bully,” Rhoda told me in a weak, dry voice.

  “Jade knows a lot of things, Rhoda. Too much. She knows too much for her own good,” I told her.

  “Well, I’ve already packed Bully’s things and I will escort him to the airport myself tomorrow evenin’. He won’t be comin’ back to my house. He won’t be fuckin’ me anymore. I shouldn’t have let him…again. But…I just…I just wanted to be loved by a man, just one more time.”

  “You are loved, woman.”

  Rhoda shook her head. “Not the way I need to be.”

  I didn’t remember much about my fight with Rhoda. I remembered grabbing her by her wrists. But she had some scratches on her face, too. And her lip was busted. I felt kind of strange looking at her. Here was a woman not even half my size. She had survived a stroke and lost both breasts. It seemed like she was slowly fading away. And that made me feel so sorry for her. I didn’t even think about the fact that she had attacked me in my own house. I didn’t know if I could ever get over that. But that was the least of my worries. Getting over Rhoda’s attack was one thing. My main concern was getting over what Jade had done.

  Interns, doctors, and nurses scurried about, the tails of their white jackets flapping like wings. The friends and relatives of other patients wandered in and out of the cafeteria with that lost look, a kind of desperation, on their faces that I was all too familiar with.

  Rhoda and I had left Jade’s room on the third floor only after Dr. Beatty, a sad-faced, elderly man who looked like he should have been in a hospital bed himself, assured us that she was going to be all right. She had swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills, but her stomach had been pumped. Otis and Bully were still in Jade’s room, chanting some Jamaican prayers. Quite a few of Rhoda’s relatives were on their way to Ohio: Her parents were coming in from New Orleans, and her son and some others from Alabama.

  “What do you mean by that?” I asked, lifting my coffee cup, frowning at the slime. I set the cup back down, my eyes on Rhoda’s face. Which, I was happy to see, had more scratches and knots than I’d originally noticed. And since I didn’t remember doing anything but holding her by her wrists, I had to wonder what Jade had done to her when she confronted her. That girl!

  Rhoda sniffed and lifted her chin. Her eyes were bloodred. “When was the last time your man made love to you?”

  I shifted in my seat and looked around. “That’s kind of personal. But if you must know, it was last night. It had been such a long time, I felt almost like a virgin again.”

  Rhoda gave me a pensive look. Then a look that was unbearably sad crossed her face. For the first time, she looked her age. “My husband hasn’t made love to me in eight years,” she said in a flat voice.

  “Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say. “Uh…that’s cold.”

  “Bully…” Rhoda dropped her head but she kept talking. “He couldn’t keep his hands off me.” Rhoda rolled her eyes up toward the ceiling, then at me. “The breast cancer, the stroke…Otis couldn’t deal with it after all.”

  “But you stayed with him,” I reminded her.

  Rhoda shook her head. “He stayed with me. I wasn’t goin’ any place. Where would I go? What man in his right mind would want me? Just Bully. And to be honest with you, he’d stick his dick in a hog. He is the only man who has called me beautiful since I lost…since my cancer. And that stroke! You remember how long I had to walk around with my face hangin’ like a basset hound! Bully…he called me. He called me all the way from London at a time when I really needed to be…needed. When that bitch he married took off, I insisted he come stay with us.”

  “What about Otis?”

  “What about him?”

  “You are still with him. How much does he know about you and Bully?”

  Rhoda waved her hand and tilted her head. “He doesn’t want a divorce. I tried to go that route, but he wants to remain a family.”

  “But does he know about you and Bully?”

  Rhoda shrugged. “Like I said, I’m takin’ Bully to the airport myself tomorrow evenin’. He’s goin’ back to London to reconcile with his estranged wife. So, I am back where I started. Annette, I have to save what’s left of my family.”

  “Jade’s goin’ to be fine, Rhoda,” I said, squeezing her hand.

  Rhoda wiped her eyes and nose with a napkin, then she took a sip of the grim coffee. “What she did to you was wrong. I know it. She knows it. She admitted to me that she was jealous of you and Pee Wee. Y’all had it all. Me and Otis, we have nothin’ anymore.”

  I shook my head. “You still have your daughter, Rhoda. You still have Otis. You have your mama and your daddy and you still have your son. And…You still have me.”

  I went around to Rhoda’s side of the wobbly table and gave her the hug she needed. I held her in my arms for five minutes as she cried on my shoulder.

  “Do you want to see her?” she asked, gently pushing me away.

  “Maybe it would be better if I waited…” I began.

  “She’s still unconscious. She won’t even know you’re in the room.”

  I followed Rhoda to Jade’s room where Otis was on one side of her bed, mumbling some gibberish. Bully stood with his back to us, looking out the window. There was nothing to see out that window except the other side of the hospital. Nothing but orange bricks. Bully turned as soon as he heard us enter the room, and gave us a blank stare.

  Jade was on her back, mumbling some gibberish, too.

  “She’s delirious,” Otis said in an extremely tired and worried voice as he rubbed Jade’s forehead. “De doctor man say she will be fine, praises to Jah.”

  “I’ll pray for her,�
� I said. As soon as I said that Jade opened her eyes.

  Large tears slid down her cheeks to her lips. She sniffed and licked her lips dry, rubbing her eyes. She gave me a hard, cold look before she shifted her eyes and looked around the room. She let out a feeble moan and then she focused her attention on me again.

  “Where am I? Who are you people?” she whimpered through trembling lips. “Am I dead?”

  As upset as I had been with Jade, my heart just about broke in two.

  Rhoda staggered before she fell into her husband’s arms. Bully moaned and placed his head on my shoulder. I stood there, rubbing Bully’s back and staring at Jade.

  “She’s got amnesia!” Rhoda sobbed. “My poor little baby doesn’t even know me!”

  CHAPTER 72

  I could not believe how frail and frightened Jade looked. The beautiful head of hair that she was so proud of looked like a thick, tangled spiderweb. Dried snot hung from the bottom of her nose, on both sides. Her dried lips were cracked and bruised, like she had been biting herself.

  She looked at me like she didn’t know who I was, and for that I was grateful. I didn’t know much about amnesia, but I did know that people could recover from it and regain all of their memory. However, I had heard of people who regained only part of their memory, permanently blocking out the things that were too painful. I didn’t want Jade to get off that easily. I wanted her to eventually remember every single thing that she had done to hurt me. And I wanted her to remember it for the rest of her life, because I would.

  There was a lot of work that had to be done. I knew that I had to face my nosy parents and that busybody Scary Mary, sooner or later. They were relentless. They wouldn’t stop until they knew everything about what Jade had done to me.