Then Miri turned and saw all of the people looking at her and Will. And every terror and fear she had known as a much-laughed-at young debutante came rushing back all at once. What in the world was wrong with her anyway?
What in the devil is wrong with her this evening?
That singular thought had been running through Will's mind ever since he had come upon Miri looking much like a panicked child in the hallway earlier. She was not acting at all herself. Was it because of his actions in Lady Weatherby's garden the previous afternoon? She had not protested at the time, but was she now regretting the liberties she had allowed him to take? Or was there something else amiss? He really did need to get her alone and ask her, but at present, there were far too many people about - including her family - for them to sneak away, even for a few moments.
Beside him, Will could all but feel Miri suddenly shrink into herself as if she was trying to go unnoticed, just as she had the night they had first met. This was not the woman he had come to know and, were he being honest, this side of her scared him a bit.
"Are you well, my lady?" he asked as they waited in line to reach the punch bowl. He had never seen such a slow-moving group of people in all of his life. Or ones that stared quite so much. He felt as if he was on display in a museum, a curiosity to be gawked at. Was that Miri's problem? "Do you require some air? Perhaps a seat?" He didn't bother asking about a cold cup of punch for that was clearly not to be forthcoming anytime soon.
She shook her head and swallowed hard. "No. I need..." She paused and smiled up at him wearily and he could see the fear lurking in her eyes. "Actually, I am not at all certain what I need other than a new brain perhaps."
"You? A new brain?" Quickly he pulled her to the side of the drawing room and as far away from other people as he could manage. He also made it a point to place himself between the still-staring crowd and Miri. "What is wrong, love? For you are certainly not acting yourself this evening. Was it something I did?"
"No." Miri shook her head. "It is not you. It is me. I am being a henwit. That is all. I just...I don't know." Tears shimmered in her eyes and he grew more concerned by the moment.
Glancing around the room, Will could see that Miri's family was occupied elsewhere, their attentions focused on his sister, Anna, and her chaperone, Miss Isabelle, for some reason he could not fathom. Perfect. "Come with me," he demanded and without waiting for an answer swept her out of the back of the room.
Out of deference for her leg, Will did not plan to take Miri far. However earlier when he had first entered, he had noticed a door leading to Lord Needingham's famous conservatory. The glass-walled room was stuffed full of tropical plants, in particular, orchids, resulting in a veritable forest of flowers. They would not have much time alone, for he was certain that Miri's brother would come in search of them before long. Still, they would have a few moments together before he had to reemerge with her into the crowded townhome.
She needed a respite from the crowd and if no one else would provide her with one, then Will would. He wouldn't allow Miri to come to harm - physical or mental. Not as long as it was within his power to prevent such a thing.
Once they were safely inside the conservatory, Will closed and locked the door behind them. Immediately, the crush of sound from the festivities began to fade and he could see Miri visibly relax right before his eyes. That was better. Much better.
Crossing his arms over his chest, he tilted his head in genuine confusion. "Care to tell me what has you out of sorts this evening, love? For if it is about yesterday in the maze, then I fear that we need to revisit our agreement."
"A part of my discomfort is from yesterday," she admitted, staring unblinkingly at her slippered feet and likely wishing a hole would open in the floor and swallow her if the expression on her face was any indication. "But that is not the only reason."
"So perhaps we can start at the beginning then." Will leaned back against the conservatory door, effectively blocking anyone from seeing inside. "What did you not like about yesterday?"
Miri grimaced. "That is precisely the problem, Will. I liked everything that you did. All of it."
"I fail to see how that is a problem." Will was confused now. "Is that not what you wanted from me?"
"It was and it still is," Miri insisted. When she looked at him, a fire in her eyes shone brightly making his breath catch just a bit at her raw, untamed beauty. "I crave more knowledge and more passion. In fact, I thought of little else last night. Even on the way here, in fact, I rationalized with myself that there was no reason we could not do more or go further than we did yesterday. In fact, I would go as far as you are willing to take me because I crave so much of you that it muddles my thinking. And I'm not the least bit sorry for it! I should be sorry, for I have never felt this way before and that scares me! But I am not sorry. And I would do all of it - every single moment of yesterday - again if I could."
Will raised an eyebrow at her. "Go on." He was also extremely intrigued by her admissions. This was a glimpse into her world and her mind that he had never hoped to see.
"And then tonight when you mentioned the dowager Envale, you implied that she disgusted you, but that bedding me, or even being in my company for that matter, was no hardship!" Miri was starting to pace now.
"I meant that. It is no hardship. Nor will it be when I finally take you to my bed. Even if you were not paying me, love, I would still find it a joy to be in your company." For all of her restlessness, Will realized he had to remain the calm voice of reason at the moment. He had never seen Miri like this, so rattled and unlike her usual curious self.
"But don't you see?" Miri stopped pacing long enough to stare at him with beseeching eyes. "That is precisely the problem. No man enjoys being in my company, Will! So either you are lying to me for reasons that I cannot fathom or you have feelings for me which will complicate matters, as I've no wish to marry, as you well know. But perhaps I no longer feel that way about marriage because I have been thinking these odd thoughts and I wonder if you would change at all and take away my telescopes or if you would not...and then where does that leave us for if you care then I can only assume...but then I have always known my place in life but now I do not and what if others...and then there is the need to consider..."
"Shh. Miri. Stop. Be still. All is well." Pulling away from the door, Will gathered her close, stopping her rambling, almost incoherent thoughts with a quick kiss.
She looked up at him, those luminous green eyes wide with something akin to fear. His heart broke for her. He hadn't meant to upend her world. But he had without realizing what he was doing. Therefore, it was his duty to make things right for her again. "But, Will..."
Will placed a finger to her lips. "No buts. Now listen to me, Miri. I did not lie earlier. I meant what I said. Being with you in any fashion is no hardship. I do not forget the agreement between us." He drew in a deep breath wishing he could do just that. "That is what brought us together and I shall honor it, make no mistake. But I do truly enjoy your company and care about you as a friend. I am not lying to you, nor would I ever. I have more honor than that. If that surprises you, then so be it, but it is the truth. Perhaps you have not been associating with the right sort of gentleman, the ones who can appreciate you for the unique and lovely and yes, admittedly extremely challenging woman that you are." That was, of course, an understatement but she was far too worked up for him to admit any more of his feelings now.
Miri was silent, her eyes wide, so Will decided to press on. In for a penny then in for a pound. If he even had a penny to spare, that was. Which he did not.
"If I had met you under different circumstances? I would still be your friend and I would still desire you, for I am a very physical and sexual man. It is in my nature, just as being curious and thirsty for knowledge is in yours. That friendship makes seducing you all the sweeter, love. You must trust me on that."
In fact, Will desired Miri so much he would accept whatever crumbs of affection she threw
in his direction. "Women like Lady Envale? Lying with her would be a chore for me, one I would despise until my dying day, and I think you know that. Selling one's self to someone who does not appreciate them makes the entire arrangement seem even more sordid and cheap than it already is. Yet I know what I must do in order to save the earldom and my sister. Which I have done under my own rules thus far, and that thought is never far from my mind. The fact that I care for you and enjoy your company? That I like you and believe that, if you do not like me, then you at least appreciate something about me? That makes this whole business bearable. So please do not deprive me of that pleasure. That was all I meant. Nothing more. There is no deeper meaning unless you wish there to be."
Except that there was a deeper meaning for him, and had been from the second day in her company. Perhaps even from that first night, she had surprised him in her brother's library. Miri was the sort of woman he had long desired and never believed himself worthy of courting for so very many reasons.
It was also clear to him that Miri was questioning everything she believed about herself, likely because the emotions he had stirred inside of her yesterday challenged everything she believed to be true about herself. Adding in the possibility that she might truly care for him when she had long believed herself frigid and incapable of emotion, which he suspected was the real source of her discomfort? Well, that was not something she was intellectually capable of handling at the moment.
Miri might care for him. In fact, Will suspected that she did. Very much. But to confront those feelings now, when she was likely questioning her very place in the world? Well, that would send her running for the hills and out of his arms. That day might yet come, but it would not be today. Not if he could help it.
"You...enjoy my company?" Miri looked at Will quizzically, as if the notion that another human being enjoying being in the same room as she had not crossed her mind before.
"I do." Will grinned down at her. "And if that makes me a henwit as well, then so be it. You are unlike any woman I have ever met, Miri, and you have certainly shaken up my existence in ways no other woman ever could."
She frowned again though to his relief she was calm once more and seemingly more like her usual self. "And this is a positive thing for you?"
"It is," he nodded. "In time I might question my own sanity in that regard but for the moment, I enjoy being with you. So please do not deny me that pleasure."
For the first time all evening, she smiled. It was a real smile, the sort Will was accustomed to seeing on her face. "Then you, my dear Lord Blackthorne, are perhaps even more of a henwit and a ninnyhammer than I am."
"Perhaps I might be," he laughed, thankful that whatever madness had gripped her earlier was now passed. "So we are well?"
Miri bit her lip for a moment before nodding. "We are. I should not have questioned you."
"You have every right to question," he reassured her. "If you did not, then you would not be you. Just as if I did not do this, then I would not be me."
Will pulled Miri tightly against him, so tightly that he was certain she could feel his hard erection pressing into her once again, and drew her into the circle of his arms. This time, she was ready for him and raised her lips for a kiss. She was sweet and tasted vaguely like punch as well as a flavor that was indescribably Miri. This was Will's Heaven and when he had to leave her forever, it would be his Hell. But she didn't need to know that. Not tonight.
Just as her brother did not need to know where Miri and Will had been when he came looking for them a quarter hour later. Which was shortly after the couple had thankfully just emerged from the safety of the conservatory, no one being any the wiser about their secret kisses. Not even the one time Earl of Heartbreak who now looked as if he might wish to murder someone.
Chapter Eleven
Town Tattler
Time seems to be flying as of late, as it always does at this time of the Season. So many rumors are swirling about without a shred of evidence to back them up. Evidence, you say? Yes, I say! Evidence! Wild stories and speculation get us nowhere as a society. Even if they are endlessly entertaining. We should demand truth or at least hope to seek it.
However, there are a few things I can report with accuracy. One, the strange infatuation between Lord Blackthorne and Lady Miri Bexley does, in fact, appear to be genuine. I still maintain that they would not suit in the long term, but if this is only a Season-long flirtation, I see no harm in such a thing. After all, both of them are notoriously private and circumspect, even the dashing earl for all of the rumors that still swirl about him and the possibility that he might think to prostitute himself. Rubbish, I say and again, until I see evidence to the contrary, rubbish it shall stay.
As for Lord Blackthorne's sister, Lady Anna? Well, being this Season's recipient of The Letter does seem to agree with her. She has been gadding about all over London as of late, dancing with so many handsome gentlemen it would make anyone's head spin and thoroughly enjoying herself. As she should. She is young and beautiful and, if the rumors of a potentially serious suitor are true, then her days as a debutante are numbered.
In other news, there does seem to be some mischief afoot regarding Lord Lansdale's business holdings here in London, though I am assured that both our favorite Bow Street Runner, Mr. Greer, and the so-called "barrister to the peerage," Mr. Jacob Beeston, are on the case. I have no doubt that any issues will be dealt with in short order and propriety restored. The same, unfortunately, cannot be said of Lansdale's sister, Lady Pearl Weston. Though she is of English blood, she will always be an American at heart I fear, and her behavior does tend toward the wild side. Can she be tamed? Perhaps by the right sort of man, I suppose, provided she does not strike out at him first as she did poor Mr. Randall Witherson. Only time will tell in that case.
-Lady A
After the night in Lord Needingham's conservatory, Miri had seen Will almost every day, sometimes twice a day, for the better part of a sennight. Their outings were not extravagant ones, however, and were in keeping with Will's lower financial status so as not to arouse anyone's suspicions. Which was just as Miri preferred things anyway. Her panic that night in the Needingham's hallway and then later as she had been waiting in line for the refreshment table had terrified her, and it had taken some time for her to regain her normal, rational mental balance. Thankfully, Will not only understood but helped Miri put herself back to rights whenever he saw her. Which was frequently.
Miri credited Will and his calming ways for largely restoring her mind - even though each time she saw him, he made her body heat with need. And she still wasn't altogether herself either. Her mind often veered wildly from subject to subject, usually at the same time that she was also feeling rather flushed - and also usually because she had been busy picturing Will naked. It really was a most perplexing situation and one she was doing little to help, because she simply could not bring herself to stay away from the man. If anything, she saw him far more now than she ever had.
During the day, Will took her driving in Hyde Park and one day escorted her on a picnic lunch near the edge of the Serpentine. On two separate mornings, he came to request an early morning ride with their horses through the nearly empty streets of London as the sun was just beginning to rise. On another day, he suggested a trip to the British Museum to tour the newly expanded collection of Greek artifacts, which included a little-visited section on ancient Greek star gazing habits and techniques. There were modest floral bouquets delivered to the home nearly every other day, as well as another box of fine chocolates on a particularly lovely Thursday morning.
In the evenings, Miri usually met Will at some entertainment or another that they were both attending. One night they encountered each other at the fiasco that was the annual Devonmont musicale, and on another occasion, both families were guests of Lord and Lady Candlewood at the opera. On a rather dreary evening, Miri accompanied her family to Vauxhall to view a fire eater show that had Rayne particularly enthralled and was
thrilled to discover that Will had brought his sister as well since she had a fond wish to see the Oriental dancers that were to follow the fire eater.
That evening had been particularly lovely, for under the cover of darkness, Will had caressed Miri's backside without notice and whispered some very naughty suggestions in her ear about what they might do when they finally had a moment alone.
Just as on that delightful evening, the dark nooks and shadowy crannies of these evening events always afforded Miri and Will the opportunity for a stolen kiss or caress between the two of them but never time for much more. Someone, be it a friend or family member, always seemed to appear around a corner when they were least expected - which was making both Will and Miri a little grumpy. Though perhaps Miri more so than she would have expected. That came as something of a surprise to her but not truly an unwelcome one. Though really, how could one expect to be debauched if one was never alone with her potential lover?
This night, however, Lord and Lady Houghton were hosting a masked ball in their newly renovated townhome, and Miri planned to use the occasion to finally sneak away with Will. In fact, she had deliberately gone out of her way to secure a gown that looked very much like the same gown at least six other, less financially flush young ladies were wearing. It had taken a good bit of coaxing, but Miri had at last convinced Madame LaVallier that though Miri would be "forced" to attend the gala, she truly wished to blend into the background and not be noticed. Which was not too out of character for the "old" Miri but a bit unusual for the new and more outgoing woman she had become.
Though the modiste had looked at Miri with suspicious eyes, she had, in the end, quickly crafted a ballgown that looked rather like the same frock that many other young women would be wearing to the event. Though certainly no one in the ton could emulate her limp, Miri hoped that if her family saw a young woman in a similar gown from a distance, they would not worry overly much about her and leave her be, likely thinking that she was safe with Will or attending to Letter business, which was far from concluded as her family well knew. That would provide Miri with at least an hour or more to sneak off with the man currently haunting her dreams and finally allow him to bed her.
An Earl For Hire Page 15