Truly, the waiting was now wearing on Miri's nerves, almost to the point where she simply wished to strip off her clothes, bed Will and be done with things. The day along the Serpentine, Will had caressed and nuzzled her breasts and whispered all sorts of naughty - and slightly unbelievable - suggestions in her ear before returning her home aching and unfulfilled, her feminine core damp with need. The first morning they had gone riding in the park, she had done nothing but stare at the large, rather solid-looking muscles of his back beneath his coat, imagining tracing their well-defined lines with her tongue. She had shocked herself with those thoughts, but she hadn't quite been able to stop them, either. Nor did she really want to.
The night at the opera, Miri could have sworn that Lady Candlewood had given her a knowing smirk when she caught Miri and Will holding hands without the benefit of their gloves. And at the Devonmont musicale? Well, both Miri and Will had missed the annual disaster in the main ballroom because Will had been too busy feasting upon Miri's bared breasts in what had appeared to be a long-abandoned butler's closet.
In short, Miri was quickly becoming a shameless wanton with a scattered brain, and she did not care a whit. All she wanted was Will - preferably naked. In fact, she desired him so much that he was all she could think about most days - and nights. Not even her beloved stars held as much attraction for her these days. That was when Miri realized she was truly in trouble and needed some resolution to this predicament sooner rather than later. Otherwise, she feared she might become a candidate for Bedlam.
Now, standing in a small alcove in the Enwright's ballroom as she watched one young woman in a dress very similar to hers glide by and disappear down a dark hallway, Miri was extremely happy she had hatched this plan to blend into the masquerade gala rather than stand out as so many other young ladies were doing. All the better to escape into the night - or at least as far as the empty music room - with Will by her side. If she could ever find him, that was.
"That one is trouble." Pearl nodded after the young woman in the similar dress who was just now vanishing down the hallway. "Lady Lizzy Ashford's day has come and gone, or so I'm told and still not a suitor to call her own. Comes from trying to poach her sister's beloved. Or so I'm told."
Miri shook her head, her eyes still searching the crowded ballroom. "Pearl, you're as terrible of a gossip as all the rest."
From beneath the delicate floral mask bedecked with diamond chips and violets, Pearl's eyes sparkled brightly. "I am simply being honest, Mir. The hypocrisy of London Society never ceases to amaze me, and I thought that I had seen everything." She paused and glanced around wistfully. "However, the dragons are not completely wrong about everything, I suppose. I don't belong here. I am not certain I ever will."
"You are talking nonsense again," Miri corrected her friend, praying that Will would appear soon. Where in the devil was the man, drat him?
Miri had enlisted Pearl's assistance in seeking out Will about five minutes ago, as the man had yet to make an appearance at the ball. He had informed Miri that he would be dressed in simple black eveningwear with a plain domino mask accented by a single diamond teardrop at the corner of his right eye. In this sea of extravagant costumes, he should have been easy to spot. However, there were at least four other men in plain black evening attire, including one with very dark hair who seemed fixated on Pearl.
The man seemed familiar to Miri, but as he was not Will, she paid him little mind. Though she could not quite shake the feeling that she knew him.
"It is not nonsense." Pearl fluffed her hair and shifted a bit, her oversized golden wings making moving a bit difficult and dancing all but impossible - which Miri suspected had been her friend's plan all along. For all of her grace and beauty, Pearl seemed rather uncomfortable with male attention, or at least the sort of attention English gentlemen bestowed upon her. "These Society matrons and gossips all but crucify me for putting a small toe wrong by wearing a dress that is not quite pale pink enough and yet Lizzie Ashford can play the whore and no one says boo to her!"
Of course Pearl was right, but in a room full of Society people, Miri could not say such a thing if she wished to keep her own modest social standing. Instead, she allowed her gaze to stray to the dark haired man once more. Was that Jacob Beeston? If so, what was he doing here? And why would he be watching Pearl, of all people? Or was it Harry Greer? The two men did share a similar build, after all. It was just about impossible to tell and by this time, the man had moved and now stood beside a decorative Chinese-inlaid table, though his intense gaze still followed Pearl's every move. Curious, but not alarming. After all, Pearl was dazzling this evening. Even Rayne had said so.
"Perhaps," Miri admitted a bit distractedly, still searching for Will.
"There is no perhaps about it," Pearl sighed as she nudged her friend with her shoulder in the direction of the far side of the ballroom. "But enough about me. I believe your knight in shining armor has arrived. He is utterly smitten with you, you know. Never thought I would see the day, but he is. And you are quite taken with him as well, though I am certain you will deny such a thing until your dying breath given how stubborn you are." She sighed wearily. "You two really should do the deed already if that is your plan and be done with the whole affair. To find someone you care for is a rare thing, Mir. Take this chance at happiness while you still can."
Miri looked up in horror, terrified that somehow Pearl had discovered her arrangement with Will. "Do the deed? Whatever do you mean?" Her voice was little more than a squeak.
"You know. Get married. Run off to Gretna or buy a special license or whatever." Pearl rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Mir. What did you think I meant?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all." Miri felt a wave of relief wash over her and she nearly sagged back against the wall for support. Her secret was still safe. However keeping the secret was also beginning to wear on her. How much longer could she go on like this? Not much longer, she suspected. Which was why it was time to have Will bed her so she could pay him and then end their arrangement. It would be all for the best and what she wanted anyway.
Though, for some inexplicable reason, Miri felt rather peculiar inside at the notion of not seeing Will again. Well, maybe it wasn't so peculiar, because she did care for him and he was her friend. Though that did not completely explain the kernel of dread that formed in the middle of her stomach when she thought about returning to her life as it had been before Will had turned everything she knew upside down.
Shaking her head, Miri squeezed Pearl's hand. "I am sorry. I'm a bit jumpy this evening." She twirled her fingers in front of her. "You know how I am with so many people about, many of them foxed. My leg never fares well in these situations, either. I am also leery of encountering Mrs. Witherson's son again, as I have it from an excellent source that he is thinking of returning to London soon. He is not supposed to be in Society, but I would not put it past him to finagle a return somehow. Especially at an event such as this where he could go undetected for some time."
"I know, for my brother Daniel informed me of the same rumor last night. It is a fear that I share as well, but I do not think he is attending tonight. Even if he is, I am confident that he will not cause any trouble." Once more, Pearl looked in the direction of the dark-haired man who was still starting in their direction. "And I do understand, Mir. All too well, I am afraid. But enough of that for now. Go. Be off with you." She gave Miri a little shove. "Dance with the man you adore and steal a kiss or two. Leave with him if you like. I will tell anyone who asks that you are staying with me tonight. I won't breathe a word to anyone that you wish to be with the man of your dreams this evening instead of at this rather confusing affair."
"Thank you, but I don't..." Miri wanted to say more but before she could, Pearl was gone, vanishing down the same dimly lit corridor Lizzie Ashford had used earlier. When she looked back across the room, the dark haired man had vanished as well. There was something going on with Pearl and the man that might have been either Jacob or H
arry, but that was a mystery for another time. Miri had been granted her freedom for the evening. She had best make the most of it.
Now, all of Miri's attentions focused on Will who had made his way across the ballroom while she had been speaking with Pearl, and was presently only a few paces in front of her.
"My lady." Will bowed elegantly over her hand and she had to fight back a rather girlishly stupid sigh. "It is good to see you this evening. You are looking well."
"And you, my lord." Miri was all too willing to play this game and pretend they did not know each other. Their masks were supposed to give them anonymity, but aside from a few fuller faced masked, most of the domino masks the guests wore did little to disguise their identities. Though Miri felt confident that she could pick Will out of a crowd even if she were blindfolded.
"Might I have this dance?" he asked, his eyes gleaming with mischief behind the mask with the single diamond teardrop. As if any other man would approach her anyway. She knew better. Only Will was so bold or so brave. Only Will cared.
"I would be delighted." As far as conversations went, theirs was rather bland and not at all like them. However Miri was aware that just about every pair of eyes in the ballroom was upon them, for she could do little to hide either her limp or her walking stick. Therefore, if people knew who she was, it stood to reason that the man asking her to dance - for a waltz no less - had to be Will.
She should have been paralyzed with fear as she had been the other night, but oddly enough, she wasn't. Rather, the moment Will took her hand in his, Miri forgot everything but him.
On the edge of the ballroom, Miri could just make out Sarah's scowling face, but, like her fears, she shoved her sister in law's anger aside. Those awful, hateful emotions had no place in Miri's life tonight. She was feeling too happy and content to allow anything to tarnish what promised to be a very lovely - and possibly passionate - evening. So long as Rayne did not stalk across the room and yank her out of Will's arms, Miri would not worry.
As Will led her out onto the dance floor just as the first strains of music began, Miri's heart couldn't help but do a little flip. She should not want this. She should be above such things as desiring a dance with a handsome man, and it was a conflict she had been wrestling with for days. Those who believed in science and logic should not also believe in the relative insanity of "magic" or "love" or any of that other nonsense that so many in the ton held so dear. Yet at this moment, Miri was precisely where she wished to be and felt as if she was all but floating on a cloud. It made no logical sense, but that did not make how she was feeling any less real.
Then Miri was in Will's arms and whatever reservations she might have had vanished as if they had never been. Instead, she relished the feel of him holding her a bit too close for propriety so that he might support her damaged leg more easily. She could feel the power in his muscled arms, and she saw the soft expression on his face as he gazed down at her. This was...not love. She would not let it be, for she was not nearly so foolish. But it was something more than a friendship and she found that she could no longer deny her growing feelings. What did that mean for the two of them beyond their agreement? She couldn't say, but at the moment, she also realized she did not have to know just now. She simply had to be in the moment. As Will had said the other evening, whatever was between them did not have to go deeper than the surface, not if she didn't want it to - and she didn't. Yet.
Around and around the ballroom they waltzed, neither of them speaking, instead simply caught up in the moment. As they passed by the open terrace doors, the warm spring wind teased the curtains, making the gauzy, sheer panels seem to dance right along with them. The clouds that had hung low over London earlier in the day had disappeared, leaving soft, glittering stars in their wake. The air was redolent with night-blooming jasmine from the garden beyond and for a moment, Miri felt as if she was flying on Pearl's golden wings.
In this moment, there was no one but her and Will, and Miri felt her heart begin to beat just a little faster as his fingers tightened around her waist. The now-familiar throb began between her legs again, and she had to fight to stop herself from shifting her legs and seeking relief. Her arms and legs felt heavy, as if she was now boneless. Yet in the center of it all was Will. Again, this was not love, but it was something deep and pleasing and needy. She was ready. She likely had been from the first night they had met. She was only now coming to realize the truth.
And part of that truth was that she cared for Will. More than a friend and more than a companion and ever more than a lover. She thought, perhaps, that she might love him. And because she believed she loved him, she could do this - man to woman. But not whore to client. It had never been like that between them and it never would be. He meant more to her than a simple opportunity to learn about pleasure. He had from the very first. Her brain was only now catching up with her heart.
"You are looking rather pleased with yourself," Will said, shaking Miri from her daydream.
"Am I?" She shrugged as casually as she could despite the fact that her pulse was pounding so hard that she was afraid that half of the ballroom could hear the blood rushing through her veins. "I suppose that is because I am enjoying the company. And some newfound revelations."
That response seemed to please him greatly. "So much so that you are willing to take the next step?" There was a hopefulness in his voice, and Miri instinctively knew what he was asking.
They hadn't discussed when he would finally bed her. They simply both knew that the moment was fast approaching. With each touch and caress, with each stolen kiss, they both found it more and more difficult to walk away from each other at the end of the evening. Just last night Miri had laid in her bed alone and wished that Will was there beside her, his large hands caressing her body until she all but screamed from desire. It had been a rather vivid fantasy and now, looking at his handsome face, she knew in her heart that the moment had finally arrived. And that she was more than ready.
"I am." Miri's words were for Will's ears only, and she knew the moment they registered for a flame lit within his eyes and he seemed to come alive in a way he hadn't before.
"I will be gentle, love. I promise." Will's voice hitched a little, which surprised her given how many women he had bedded over the years, but once more Miri did her best to ignore what that might mean. Perhaps his throat was dry. She was a bit parched herself at the moment. Just because she loved did not mean that he did as well. "I swear to you, Miri. You will not regret this."
Feeling a bit bold herself at the moment, she reached up and lightly caressed the small patch of bare skin visible just above his cravat with a gloved finger. "I know." For someone as shy and reticent as Miri that single caress was tantamount to kissing Will in the middle of the ballroom for all to see.
She could tell when the enormity of what she had just done hit him, for the light in his eyes banked down to a smolder and she swore she could feel his big body tremble a bit beneath her fingers. Again, that was not what she had expected from a man who had been willing to sell his body to the highest female bidder not so very long ago, but then over the last week or so, Miri had come to learn that there was much about William Davenport that was unexpected.
"When?" This time, Will's voice was thick and that single word was almost garbled. His eyes never left hers however and she could tell he was becoming aroused again just by the way his breathing changed. Could she dare hope that he felt the same? Maybe. She hoped so.
When it came time to reply, Miri was less certain of herself than she had been a mere moment ago. Yet somehow, she found her voice. "Now. Tonight. I am ready and I do not know when we will have this chance again, for my family is completely distracted. We do this now if you like. But only if you are ready as well."
"I have been ready for a very long time, Miri," he whispered. "You have no idea how ready."
"Then show me, Will," she challenged, tilting her chin up a fraction as if in some sort of dare. "I want to know passion, Wil
liam Davenport, and I wish to know now." Across the room she could see that Rayne and Sarah were otherwise occupied and wasn't surprised when Will's gaze followed hers.
"As you like," he replied as he expertly guided her to the edge of the ballroom and then towards one of the many dark corridors that led away from the ball and deeper into the house. "As you like, love."
Chapter Twelve
Silently, Will berated himself as his carriage pulled into the mews behind his home. He should not be doing this. Yes, Miri was paying him to debauch her, but that didn't make what he was about to do with her - and to her - right. He shouldn't be dishonoring her this way. He had nothing to offer her. He was poor, damn it! If they were discovered, they would be forced to wed and she? Well, she would be subjected to a life of poverty. While he would never force her to give up her stars or her work with Aunt Beanie's letter project, he could also never provide for her in the style she was accustomed to living. She had some money, true, but he doubted that she possessed the sort of fortune necessary to move in the highest reaches of London society as she did now.
More than that, she claimed to not want anything from him except for passion. Even though he had more to offer her than that - if she was willing to take it. He was beginning to suspect that he would offer her his heart if she asked for it, however unworthy of her he might be. However, that still did not make this entire evening right.
Then Will looked at Miri's lovely face and her delectable body, and his cock twitched again. He desired her. There was no getting around that. She desired him. That was evident as well. All of what he had just said to himself in his mind? They were fairy tales. Not reality. The brutal truth was that neither of them would ever marry anyway, even if they were found out. So why in the bloody hell shouldn't they do this?
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