"Because I still love you, Miri. I probably always will. And I can't have you. Nor can I change how I feel, no matter how much pain you cause me. Because I desperately wish that you still loved me. But you don't. You hate me. Your family despises me. I thought your brother liked me well enough, but I was clearly wrong on that count." Miri was moving closer now but Will couldn't have moved away from her advancing form if his life depended upon it. "I thought bedding other women would help me forget, but it won't. Because I love you and no one could ever take your place. I was an idiot to even try. As you can see, I did not get very far with my plans."
She smiled and moved so close that now the tips of her breasts were brushing his naked chest. Will trembled and clenched his hands tightly shut so he would not be tempted to reach for her. Surely being drawn and quartered would be more merciful than this! Miri was mercurial at times, but she was never cruel. Or at least she never had been - before he had hurt her anyway.
"About that," she began as she traced the line of one of his muscles with the tip of her finger. "My family doesn't despise you. Sarah was being blackmailed by Randall Witherson. It is in the past and I know the truth. We all do. All very nasty business and I shall tell you all about it later. Right now, however, there is something far more important to discuss."
"There is?" Will was certain he was about to either kiss her senseless or run from the room. He had no idea which was the better option at the moment. Though either would likely damn him for all of eternity. His heart could not take much more of this torture.
Miri nodded. "There is. At present, we need to discuss our betrothal."
"I wasn't aware there was one any longer." Will's heart sped up just a little bit more and his broken heart slowly stitched itself back together just another fraction.
"There is. If you'll still have me, that is." She was uncertain now, a blush creeping up her cheeks. This was the Miri that Will knew and loved - and likely always would. "I am so sorry, Will. I didn't mean all of those things that I said. I would take them all back if I could. But I can't. So the best I can do is grovel before you and beg forgiveness. And hope and pray that you still love me. That I haven't completely destroyed what we shared because I was too afraid to listen or allow you to explain. To believe in you. To trust you. Even though I always trusted you. Or, my heart did. My brain needed a little more convincing. Seems I am not so intelligent after all."
"Grovel did you say?" He stood there dispassionately in front of her, arms crossed over his chest. Had he been a different man, he would have taken this opportunity to hurt Miri, to make her feel what he felt. But Will was not that sort of man. Or at least he wasn't any longer. He would cut off his own arm before he hurt her.
Miri nodded almost fearfully. "If it means that you would still have me as your wife, I would grovel every day for the rest of my life."
Now it was his turn to take the offensive and Will did so with glee, backing her towards his bed until the backs of her legs hit the mattress and she went down with a soft whump. "Oh, I will certainly still have you, love," he whispered as he covered her small body with his much larger one. "I shall have you every day from now until the end of our lives. I love you, Miri. I always have and I always will. And I am sorry that I didn't return your funds from the first moment it became clear to me that I was falling in love with you."
He kissed her then and it took some time, but eventually, Miri pulled away from him just a bit. "And I am sorry too, Will. I love you and I should have trusted you." She placed a finger on his lips when he would have otherwise spoken. "In my heart, I knew you had not sold yourself when you were with me. I was simply afraid - of you, of the way I felt, of being used again. So I hurt you and ran before you could do the same to me."
Will traced a finger down her cheek. "Seems we are not very good at this love business, are we?"
Miri shook her head as she reached up to thread her fingers through his hair. "No, but I want to be better. I love you Will, now and forever. If your offer to wed me still stands, I also still wish to marry you. Nothing would give me more pleasure in all of the world than to become your bride."
"Not even seven Euler telescopes?" he teased as he kissed her shoulder.
"Not even twenty!" she replied saucily before she sobered and placed a hand on his chest to stop him from kissing her again. "Please, Will. Let nothing like this ever come between us again."
He rose up and traced the lines of her body with the palms of his hands. There was love in his eyes now and not the despair of earlier. "Never again, Miri. I promise."
"And I promise you the same." She kissed his chest lightly and he shuddered. He couldn't help it. Miri was his weakness and always would be.
Then there were no more words between them, only loving kisses and delicate caresses. For Will, a night that had begun in dark debauchery was ending in brilliant, illuminated love. It was a twist that he could not have foreseen but one he was extremely thankful for, especially since he had been convinced that he had lost Miri forever.
Even now, he wasn't quite certain how all of this had come to pass. However, there would be time for conversation later. Now was the time for showing Miri exactly how much he loved her in the best way he could - with his body.
Between their kisses and caresses, the attention he lavished on her breasts and the way she attended to his cock, Will lost all track of time. Not that he cared. All he did know was that when he finally pushed inside of Miri, once again claiming her as his own, that everything - including time itself - seemed to stop. There was only the two of them in this moment. And everything was right in his world once more.
Chapter Twenty-One
Three Weeks Later
Hunter's Glen
Town Tattler
Ah, my fellow members of Society! I cannot tell you how wonderful it feels to have been wrong!
-Lady A
Will and Miri's wedding was a spectacular success. Everyone said so - especially the gossips who had been suspiciously celebratory in their comments about the couple since the first of the banns had been cried three weeks before. Miri decided that their cause had been helped by the fact that the two of them had wed properly in the little country church near Hunter's Glen that Will had attended since he was in leading strings and not by either special license or by sneaking off to Gretna Green as she had wished.
No, Will wanted to make certain all was proper and in order when he took Miri as his wife, and he would not hear a word otherwise. Not to mention he wished to make clear to all and sundry that he had nothing to hide, and that he was not an earl who would debase himself by selling his body - no matter how dangerously close he had come to doing just that.
Now that the whole wedding business was over with, Miri could admit that Will had been correct in his thinking. For this wedding was about much more than just the two of them beginning a life together and doing so properly so that there would be no gossip - or a least as little of it as possible. The three-week delay was also about making certain that Randall Witherson was no longer a threat to them - or any Society lady he had wronged for that matter - thanks to Rayne's contacts with Bow Street. Will had wanted assurances that on his wedding day, there was no chance that "the lecher" as he now referred to Witherson, would appear and spoil the day Miri made him the happiest man alive. Thanks largely to Harry Greer and Lord Candlewood, that was, in fact, the case.
Miri was also thankful that the delay had given Rayne and Sarah time to make amends with Will, mostly for Sarah's rather underhanded behavior. There was still some unease between Will and Sarah, and there would likely be for some time. However, the major damage had been repaired to the point where the wedding could take place without any hard feelings or tears.
Well, except for tears Miri's part, as she did still cry on occasion over the harsh words she had spoken to Will that morning at Madame LaVallier's. Both she and Will knew that the wounds, though still fresh, would heal in time. It would not be easy, for overcoming such thing
s never were. However, they were in love and that atoned for a great many sins - on both of their parts.
The delay to plan a proper wedding also provided Will's housekeeper, Mrs. Appleton, plenty of time to ensure that there was a proper wedding breakfast and for Miri's mother Ophelia to plan an enormous party at Hunter's Glen for the newlyweds once she returned from Bath. Complete, of course, with dancing until late in the evening. Much to Will and Miri's dismay, of course, for they were hardly the partying sort.
Now that the aforementioned party was, at last, reaching its end, at this hour of the evening most of the guests were finally shuffling off to their assigned rooms in Will's sprawling manor house, much to his relief. It would have been even more of a relief had the estate been in impeccable condition, but it was not. But it was close.
The day after Miri and Will had announced their betrothal, a bidding war for the De Clercq lion-men, as the two massive sculptures were quickly coming to be called, had erupted and after a frenzied two hours, a newly named Scottish duke had secured the two pieces for his collection. He had paid well over ten times what the pieces were thought to have been worth and Will wasted no time in spending a large chunk of those funds to fix up Hunter's Glen to make it habitable for his wedding day.
Miri had, of course, offered to help financially, but Will had refused and she had not pushed the issue, knowing that it was a matter of pride for him. He had agreed to accept a gift from Aunt Beanie that equaled the amount of funds still remaining in The Letter account for the season that Anna had never used. Though it was only a small amount in comparison to the De Clercq funds, Will had accepted them graciously and given Aunt Beanie a kiss on her forehead when she had delivered them to him in person in his London townhome. Miri had never known her aunt could blush as hard as she did that day and it was a joy to witness.
Now as she stood looking down into Hunter's Glen's enormous - and newly polished - entrance hall as the few local guests were ushered out the front door, Miri finally felt content. There was no longer anything missing in her life. She was also as far away as she could be from the lonely woman who sat up on a London rooftop at night with only her telescopes for company. Though to his credit, Will was having one of the turret rooms at the estate converted for her use. There, she would be able to leave her beloved telescopes out all of the time, using them whenever she liked. It was an extravagance and she had protested, but Will wished to indulge her and in this anyway, she would let him.
"Are you happy, love?" Will asked Miri, kissing the side of her neck. He likely would have done more - including undressing her where she stood - if she would have allowed it. She was not quite so bold as all of that - yet.
"Blissfully," she replied, reaching behind her to run a loving hand over his cheek. She still could not believe that this strong, handsome, wonderful man was hers. Not so very long ago, she had thought she would be forced into a union with an unknown man she didn't care for. Or worse, forced to marry a man who had attacked her. Now? She had a husband that she adored and while she was still sometimes awkward around people she did not know, even that was fading. She was much more comfortable in Society than she had once been as well, even though she doubted that she and Will would spend much time in London.
Despite everyone's best efforts, vague shadows of his past still hung over Town like a specter, no matter how much work was done to banish them. There would always be whispers about the truth of their meeting and whether or not Will had ever sold his body to make ends meet. The rumors didn't particularly bother Miri, but she knew they annoyed Will to a degree. They had both decided that since neither of them was particularly happy in London, they would all be better served residing in the country for the majority of the year.
Will pulled Miri close and she could feel the hard press of his erection into the small of her back. "Are you ever sorry you met me that night?" he asked as he caressed her breasts through the thin fabric of her wedding gown. "I changed your life, love. In fact, I bloody well upended it." There were times when Will was still uncertain of himself as well. He had never felt that he was quite good enough for her. Miri hoped and prayed that would ease in time, but if it didn't? Well, she would always be there to reassure him.
"You did change my life," she agreed, arching into his touch, silently begging him to do more. Which thankfully he did when he freed her breasts from her gown and began massaging her nipples until they swelled and peaked almost painfully. "But only for the better. I was empty before you, Will. You made me see that the world is actually quite a lovely place. Without you? I would likely have ended up nothing but a cold, lonely old spinster. I need you. More than I ever realized."
Will spun her around and kissed her deeply. "And I needed you, Miri. My world was dark and empty before you. Now? There is nothing but light."
Reaching up, Miri twined her arms around his neck. "Take me to bed, Will. Please. It has been ages."
"It has been three days," he replied. "We made rather good use of Aunt Beanie's rather spacious coach on the way here if you will recall."
"It is hardly my fault that I fell into your lap when we hit that rut in the road," she teased as Will scooped her up into his arms. She was grateful for the assistance, for her leg was grieving her a bit today from all of the use.
"Nor is it my fault you went without your drawers again." He strode down the hall as fast as he could, pushing open the door to their bedchamber before placing her on the bed.
She watched him through heavily lidded eyes as he returned to make certain the door was locked. "I have told you repeatedly. They leave lines in my gowns."
"They don't, actually. But you can tell yourself that as often as you like." He grinned down at her. "One of these days I might even believe you."
Will, the man who was now her husband, stood over her, and Miri felt a chill race up her spine as she imagined what he might do to her with that big body of his. There were still so many types of pleasure they had not yet tried. Will had promised to teach her all of them that he knew. And when they ran out of ideas? Well there was always her brother's library full of erotic books to look to for reference.
"Come, Will." Miri opened her arms to him and she felt her heart flip in her chest when he lowered his body over hers. "No more talk. Now is the time for action."
"Indeed it is, my love," he replied as he reached behind her to undo the laces on her gown. "Indeed it is."
Epilogue
Early August 1821
Seldon Park
Sussex
In the distance, he thought he heard a woman's laugh, but Will paid the sound no mind. For all he knew, one of Candlewood's other guests was out of doors and misbehaving. It would not be the first time, certainly. Nor would it be the last. After all, summer house parties at Seldon Park were hardly ever stuffy, boring affairs filled with nothing but lawn games. Not that Will particularly cared if they were, for he had something far more interesting and precious than lawn games to occupy his time.
No, all Will cared about was the gentle snores of his wife who was lying in bed beside him, sleeping peacefully. How different this summer was from the last and how much more at peace he felt. Something he had once viewed as forever beyond his reach, especially for a man like him, was now securely his. He didn't deserve this life - or her for that matter - but he would accept them both and be thankful. For he was flawed. He had been before he met her and he still was now that she was with him. But he was working on improving himself and, though he didn't like to sound too self-important, he thought he was doing a rather splendid job.
The darkness he had known after Miri left him returned on occasion, but he managed to fight it off when it threatened to overwhelm him. And he usually did so with Miri's help. Not to mention that he had begun counting his blessings rather than counting all of the things he had lost over the years.
No, his life was no longer empty - nor were his coffers. He hadn't needed any of Miri's fortune in the end, though he knew her offer of the funds f
or their joint use still stood. Not that he would take her up on the offer. That money was for her, and their children - which he was confident would come in time if they simply applied themselves to the task. His sale of much of his mother's art had been more than enough to save the earldom with plenty left over besides. Even with the improvements to Hunter's Glen and his other estates. He was not as rich as a man like Candlewood, certainly, but he could now hold his own and not be brought to shame for the condition of his estate.
However, even if selling the pieces of art hadn't made Will wealthy, he would still consider himself the richest man in England. For he had Miri's love, and it was true and deep and though they had begun under some of the worst possible circumstances, somehow, they had managed to not only survive but thrive - especially in the weeks and months since their marriage. Her love and trust in him were a gift beyond measure and one that he could never repay, no matter how long he lived. Nor was he foolish enough to try.
He had also lost much of his fear that he did not deserve all that he had been given. Oh, he still did not think himself worthy from time to time, but he also no longer imagined his happiness being snatched away from him either. That was a...nice change, to be honest about things.
There were still parts of the previous few months he did not particularly wish to relive, certainly, but they were outweighed by quite a few others that he replayed in his mind with great joy each day. The first time he had entered Miri's lovely body was among the highlights of his memories. Their argument in Madame LaVallier's salon ranked with the worst. However, all of his memories were part of his path to this moment, to waking up each day beside the woman he loved. A woman he was still not worthy of, but a woman he did his best every day not to disappoint.
An Earl For Hire Page 27