Right Next Door

by A. J. Pryor

  We stay silent. I think she’s too weak to talk and I’m too emotional to say a word.

  After a good twenty minutes, the tears dry, and she seems more relaxed, her big blue eyes slowly closing as she begins to fall asleep.

  “She looks a little better.” Susie walks in and I turn in her direction. Emily stays asleep and I’m dying to know her vitals as Susie begins to take them, changing her IV bag.

  “What happened?”

  “She crashed. Her blood pressure drastically dropped and her coloring . . .well, you can see her coloring.”

  “She feels so weak.” Her little hand lies listless in mine, the tiny bones so frail beneath her skin.

  “This last treatment was really strong, Damian. I’m not surprised she had this reaction.”

  Taking her blood pressure, she gives me a thumbs-up. “Already a lot better.”

  Breathing a sigh of relief, I rest my head on her bed and continue to hold her hand as she sleeps.

  I’m prepared to sit here all night, and make sure if she wakes, she knows I’m here for her. I’ve already removed my shoes and have gotten comfortable on the tiny couch they have in the room. “You can’t stay, Damian.”

  I sit up startled.

  “Why not?”

  She sits down next to me and takes a deep breath. “We’ve talked about this. And unfortunately, Thomas was called about this recent downfall in her health. He’ll be looking into her visitors. It’s already long past visiting hours. If I let you stay the night, I’ll lose my job. I’m sorry, but you have to leave. I promise, I’m not going to let anything bad happen to her.”

  That was it, the nail in my coffin. Addison is moving tomorrow, Emily is sick, and I’m not allowed by her side. I feel the rage build up inside me, a storm I’m not sure I can control. Without another word, I grab my beanie and get the fuck out of there.

  I want to go to Addison’s, bang on her door and beg her not to leave. Pull her into my arms and slam my lips to hers, show her everything she’s leaving behind and how she’s managed to completely break my fucking heart.

  Boxes litter my place. Packing tape is all over the floor, there is nothing left but a bed and a couch. The movers come first thing in the morning and I have no idea if Damian will be back in time for me to say goodbye.

  I know I’m doing the right thing for me, but it’s hard to wholeheartedly believe that when I feel so sad. When I constantly have to remind myself why I’m packing up my apartment in the first place.

  Out of nowhere a loud crash sounds next door. Then something slams against the wall. My first thought is of Emily. I can’t leave him like this. He’s already in so much pain, a torment caused by me. If he loses Emily too, it will kill him.

  Sticking my head out in the hallway, I hear the sound of breaking glass. Before I can think about it further, I’m standing in front of Damian’s door, pounding on it until my first burns.

  The door swings wide open.

  A very angry, red-eyed and distraught looking Damian is staring back at me. He stands there for a minute not saying a word but taking me in. His eyes roam from my face, down my body and lands on my chest as a small smile begins to form at the corner of his lips. Lifting a hand, he grabs my shirt and pulls me inside. Then kicks the door closed. I’m backed up to a wall, and his stare is intense, intimidating. But this is Damian, I have nothing to be afraid of, he would never physically hurt me. He can destroy me with words, but he won’t lay a finger on me.

  His chest is moving in and out, dragging deep mouthfuls of air into his lungs.

  He steps closer, and I can smell the hospital still stuck on his clothes, sense the sadness that is radiating deep inside him. The angry look he had on when he opened the door falls, as his face stiffens and his shoulders slump down.

  “She’s in critical condition, and they won’t let me see her.”

  I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the heart. Can’t feel the blood pumping through my veins and I’m worried I’m about to faint, but this isn’t about me. This is about a man who loves a little girl so much, that he was ready to give her the world.

  “They say I’m not family. The ICU is reserved for family members only. They kicked me out.” He steps into my zone, all the way in, and rests his head on the wall behind me, my body cocooned inside his arms. “I feel like I can’t breathe.”

  Cautiously I lift a hand to his chest. “Let me breathe for you. Let me be your air.”

  He nods, moving his head from the wall to my shoulder. My hand slides from his chest up his arm and I entwine his fingers with mine, peeling him away from the wall.

  I walk him down a hallway and into the bathroom. He’s destroyed, and it shows all over his face. His eyes are red, his skin pale. He’s unsteady and can barely stand on his own two feet. He’s mumbling and he stumbles slightly as he follows me.

  Guiding him to the closed toilet, I sit him on the lid and turn to the shower, wanting to wash this all away, even if it’s only to give him a few hours of peace. The knob sticks slightly, but I manage to get it on. As I’m waiting for the water to warm, I go to him. He has buried his face in his hands and his entire body is shaking. Gently I pry his fingers from his face and slowly lift his shirt over his head. He sits up and stares at me. His eyes are pleading with me to take this all away, to make it better.

  I stand him up and my hands slide inside the waist of his jeans as I release each button and let the denim slide to the floor.

  He’s completely naked and vulnerable standing in front of me. His hands rest on my shoulders and then he traces a line from my collarbone, down to the length of my arm to my hand. Circling his fingers with mine, I lead him to the shower and am about to get him under the water when he turns to me and begins to lift my T-shirt up my stomach and over my head.

  “Damian,” I whisper.

  “Shhh,” he says as he leans down and kisses me. “Just, shhh.” He brings my bottom lip into his mouth and pushes my leggings down my hips, using his foot to get them all the way off. My flip-flops were left by the front door and I’m standing here, in nothing but my bra and panties, trying to comfort a man who is twice the size of me, stronger than any person I know and loves so fiercely and so deep, it shatters every inch of my soul.

  A tear runs down my cheek and he kisses it away. “I’m sorry Damian. I don’t want to cause you any more pain.”

  “You are my pain, Addison.” His finger runs along my lower lip. “A slow burn that never eases, always hovering around the edges of my heart.”

  In that moment my heart cracks, and another tear slips down my cheek. He kisses it away and guides us under the water, the warm drops pelting our skin and heads. I reach behind him for the soap and begin to lather his back, silently crying as the shower spray wipes away any trace of tears. Slowly and meticulously, I run my fingers over his scalp and down his neck, trying to wash away the pain and sadness that has consumed both of us. He trembles as I make my way down his body, soaping him and kneading the muscles of his tense neck. Standing on my tiptoes to reach every inch of his head, his shoulders and his back. His arms circle me and his lips come down on mine again.

  I’ve missed his lips, I love his lips, but I have no right to them anymore.

  “I love you, Addison. So. Damn. Much.” His words are intense, filled with sadness and longing.

  “Damian,” I say again.

  “Shhh, Addison. Don’t say anything. Just be with me.”

  My hands still on his shoulders and he wraps his arms tight around me, our slick bodies pressed firmly together. “Stay with me tonight. Please.”

  I nod. No words can describe how I feel in this moment and nothing I can say will make this any better. Tonight is not about me, it’s about him and there is no room for tears here, only a girl, trying to heal a man she loves with her whole heart.

  He slips my bra down my shoulders, and his mouth makes its way to my breast. Nipping at the peak as he holds me tighter, and lifts me to wrap my legs around his waist. We are both
dripping wet and his mouth is making warm tracks along my chest, my heart beating frantically. My body turned on with desire and the need to make him feel anything but sorrow.

  His lips return to my neck sliding along the curves of my shoulder, eventually making their way to my ear. I wrap my arms around him as he carries me into his bedroom and lays me on the bed.

  Pulling my soaked bra all the way down my arms, over my stomach and across my hips, he hooks his fingers inside my panties and removes both items in unison. The ache between my legs is unbearable and I’m already soaked in want and need.

  His breathing deepens and he closes his eyes tight the sight of me clearly paining him more. “I had no idea it would hurt this bad.”

  Sitting on my knees, I place both hands on his chest. “Lie with me, tell me what happened.”

  Shaking his head, he wraps me into an embrace and soaking wet, slides us under the cool sheets. “I need to feel something other than pain, Addison. I can’t talk about this right now.”

  In complete understanding, I slide my body on top of his and guide him inside of me. We both still as our bodies recognize what they’d been missing. Mine, needing the love of a man who fills all of my cracks, and him needing to feel anything but hurt.

  He lifts his torso and wraps his arms around me, his hand sliding up my back and holding onto the nape of my neck. We stare at each other, unblinking, broken, vulnerable, both understanding what the other needs without having to say a word.

  I blink once and he crushes his lips to mine, stealing my breath and slipping his tongue between my lips. I give him all I have, fulfilling my promise to breathe for him this one last time. Our joined bodies sit still as our mouths devour each other and suddenly I’m on my back, my feet pushing the pillows towards the headboard as Damian begins to move.

  Slow at first then desperate and achingly sad, using his body to get rid of the sorrow and the pain. I take it in, all of it. Our skin slapping together, our bodies at first slick from the shower are now coated with sweat.

  His arms are straining above my head, the veins of his forearms protruding from his skin. Our eyes meet and he lets me see him, unfiltered, animalistic and completely open. He loves me in this moment, but this is also his final goodbye.

  With that knowledge, my body reacts, needing to feel every part of Damian, to remember the man who loved so deeply it almost broke him. My hips meet his thrust for thrust, and I give myself completely over to him. My moans are ragged, my fingers are digging into his arms and I wrap my legs tight around his hips. I want him to take me harder, push my body to its limits and love me fiercely one last time.

  “Ahh, Addison.”

  He thrusts in me hard. “You.” He pulls out and then slams into me again. “Make.” He pushes in deep, his hips grinding into my core and causing me to moan out. “Me.” He does it again, my orgasm just within reach. “Lose my . . .” He comes hard as my body falls with his, our hearts pounding in sync and our breath ragged. “Fucking mind.” He can barely get the words out, his mouth at my ear and his body covering me.

  He’s shaking, his body trembling as he buries his face into my neck. He rocks his pelvis into me once, then twice before pulling out and sliding down beside me.

  Silence surrounds us. The only noise our labored breaths almost drowning out the running water still flowing in the shower. His hand rests on my thigh and he gently squeezes, his calloused fingers making my skin tickle. After a few minutes, his hand goes slack and his breaths deepen. Quietly I make my way into the bathroom and take care of the shower. Our clothes are scattered on the floor and the light outside has disappeared.

  Cleaning up and slipping back into my clothes, I tip toe into the bedroom and head towards the front door.

  “Stay.” His voice is hoarse and distant. “Please.”

  “Are you sure?” This will only make things harder tomorrow when I leave for good. But I can’t abandon him in this state.

  He gives a slight chuckle and as my eyes adjust to the darkness of the room, I see that he’s watching me, his eyes taking in every piece of my soul. “Green Eyes, I’d ask you to stay forever if I thought it would change your mind. But since I know you’re hell bent on destroying us, stay one more night. Give me that at least.”

  I slide back into bed beside him and nestle close to his side.

  Grabbing the hem of my shirt, he lifts it off my body, then slides my leggings down my hips, rendering me completely naked—again. He moves us under the covers, our heads resting on separate pillows and facing each other.

  Grabbing my hand, he begins to talk.

  A gentle knock disrupts my highest scoring game of Angry Birds. I look at the clock and realize I’m about to be late for practice and whoever is outside just saved me from getting my ass chewed out.

  Grabbing my gym bag, I open the door wide. There’s a tall blonde standing there staring at me with big honey colored eyes. She looks to be a few years younger than me, maybe nineteen or twenty. She’s stunningly beautiful and I’m sure I’ve never met her before, but she has a familiarity to her features that has me staring rudely at her.

  “Hi. I’m looking for Damian Revilino.” Her voice isn’t timid, but it’s soft and I get the impression it took a lot of courage for her to knock on my front door.

  “That would be me, but I go by Damian Walker now. How can I help you?”

  She gently smiles and her eyes shift to something behind me. I’m sure she’s expecting me to invite her in, but I’m late. Being the oldest of seven siblings, I should probably point out that knocking on a strange man’s door and asking to come inside isn’t the safest idea, but I don’t have time for parental lectures today.

  “I’m sorry but I’m running late. Is there something I can help you with?”

  She startles and her eyes shift down. “Oh, I’m sorry. I can come back. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

  Stepping outside and closing the door I ask, “Well, can you tell me quickly?”

  A mocking laugh erupts from her chest and I look at her curiously. “No. You’re probably going to want to be all ears for what I have to say.”

  I’ve never been one for drama and the way this chick is shifting from foot to foot tells me she’s not here to deliver good news, but she’s got my curiosity piqued and I decide getting my ass chewed out one more time by my coach won’t be the worst thing in the world.

  “You have my complete attention. Shoot.”

  Clearing her throat, she rummages in her bag for something. Pulling out a folded piece of paper, her eyes meet mine.

  “This is really hard for me to say, so please bear with me.”

  She’s killing me. I wish she’d just tell me who the hell she is.

  “My name is Megan Jones. Have you ever heard of me before?”

  I shake my head. “Sorry, doesn’t ring any bells.”

  She scratches the side of her head, her eyes giving me an uncomfortable stare. “I didn’t think it would. I’m not sure how to tell you this –”

  “Honestly at this point you need to just say it. You’re kind of freaking me out.”

  She nods and her eyes meet mine. “I’m your sister. We’re siblings. Well, technically half siblings.”

  “What?” I want to laugh. I have three sisters and this girl is not one of them, doesn’t look anything like them either.

  Panic washes over her face. “I know I sound crazy, but we have the same dad. I can prove it to you if you don’t believe me.”

  My. Fucking. Dad.

  This chick doesn’t need to prove a damn thing to me. Now that she’s pointed it out, the resemblance is all over her face. In her lips, the shape of her eyes, the pointed chin, the dark olive color of her skin.

  I stand there taking in all her features, not saying a word. Megan begins to shift from foot to foot and then she looks to her toes and whispers. “This was a bad idea.” Looking back up she says, “I’m sorry I bothered you. I just . . . I needed someone to talk to. My mom died a f
ew months ago and I felt I needed to reach out and . . .”

  Shaking myself out of my shocked stance, I smile and pull her into my arms. “Megan Jones. I have three other sisters and I’ve always wanted a fourth. Come in and tell me how you knew about me, yet I know nothing about you.”

  She relaxes in my arms and follows me inside.

  I get her some coffee and she tells me her life’s story. I stay completely quiet until she’s done, only verifying a few facts here and there.

  “So you’ve known about me and my dad your entire life?”

  “My mom never kept it a secret who my dad was, but he didn’t want us. When my mom told him she was pregnant, he called her a gold digger. Said it was impossible for him to have children and wouldn’t talk to her again.”

  I knew my father had made sure he couldn’t father any more children. He’d always told me that I was enough for him, but clearly, he had his timing wrong as the proof of his offspring is sitting in my living room.

  “I don’t want him to know I exist. He can’t know anything about me.”

  Slightly confused, I ask, “Why not?”

  Her body stiffens and her eyes fill with hate. “He didn’t want me then, I don’t want him taking me in out of pity now. Please promise me you won’t tell him.”

  The intense look she’s giving me is slightly scary. “Okay. I promise I won’t tell him.”

  “Ever.” She repeats.

  I laugh at her childlike need for me to promise this. Placing my hand over my heart, I look her in the eyes. “I promise Megan Jones, I will never my tell father that you existed. You will be my little secret.”

  She smiles and her body relaxes in relief.

  “I’m glad you found me Megan.”

  We spend the next month getting to know each other. She only lives an hour away in Ventura, working as a server in a restaurant. While I had the luxury of living off my dad’s money, Megan and her mom have always struggled. I can’t help but feel slightly guilty that we have led such drastically different lives.