My Forever Love

by Wendy Lindstrom

  Adam laughed, the sound of it warming her from the inside out. “That would be enough if you were fishing for me,” he said, hunkering down on the edge of the rock, elbows resting on his knees, his strong hands making a steeple under his chin. “But for me to catch one of those smart trout I’ve got to replicate the flies that are flitting across the top of the water. Then I must make the fly move just-so, enticing a trout to want to eat it.”

  “Goodness. Sounds like a lot of work.”

  “Not work, but skill,” he said. “All it takes is patience... and respect for the fish and for the fly.”

  He flipped open the wicker tackle box and set to work. Inside of it were all manner of hooks and feathers and fishing lines. With nothing more than the skill of his fingers he fashioned a hand-tied fly that looked remarkably like several of the flies Rebecca spied skimming the surface of the water. He affixed the intricate fly to the end of the fishing line, and then stood.

  Looking back, he noted where Rebecca was seated. “Don’t want to catch you with the hook and send you sailing into the river.”

  She laughed and pretended to take shelter beneath her hat.

  He stood for a moment just looking at her. “I love you like this. I’ve missed that playful side of you.” He turned his attention to the water below.

  Surprised by his comment, Rebecca sat somewhat bewildered. She had a playful side? Was she beginning to act more like her old self? If so, was that a good thing? Or was this her new self emerging and was it that side of her that was capturing his attention?

  With his strong right arm, Adam managed the fishing rod and the fly at the end of it with amazing agility, laying the fly down onto the surface of the water as though it was an insect just landing there. And then he flicked it up and off the water only to lay it down again, over and over while his words circled Rebecca’s mind. I love you like this... I love you... I love you...

  And she knew with certainty that he did. Deeply. Passionately. Faithfully.

  The knowledge lifted her heart into the fluffy white cloud passing overhead. As it floated by it cast a shadow upon the water—and there Rebecca saw beneath the surface of the water to the rocky river bed and tangle of grass and weed below that had snared Adam’s hook and line. Was she river grass in Adam’s life? Would she nourish the river of their life together? Or would her errant mind create a tangled mess that Adam couldn’t negotiate, that would slowly take over and deaden their stream of beautiful emotions and love?

  “Are you falling asleep?” Adam asked, grinning as if he’d caught her drowsing.

  Feigning boredom, she sighed dramatically. “I’ve been waiting so long for you to catch anything that I suppose I must have nodded off.”

  His warm gentle laughter poured over her like welcome sunshine on a cool day. His light pulled her away from her dark thoughts, and she went willingly.

  A trout surfaced and took the bait.

  The trout’s jaw seemed to snap as it closed around the handmade insect and hook—but maybe it was her mind shutting the door on her endless stream of worry.

  Adam grinned her way as he reeled in his catch. “Your wait is over, my lady. You can wake up now.”

  “I’ll be impressed if you can do that again,” she said, returning his grin.

  “How many fish would impress you enough to reward me with a kiss?” he asked.

  “Two might sway me.” The words were out of her mouth before she even realized what she was saying.

  “Two it is then.”

  “Oh, gracious, I answered without thinking,” she said, her face burning with embarrassment.

  He grinned. “You answered honestly, and I like that.”

  “How do you so easily lead me away from my manners?” she asked.

  He wagged his eyebrows. “Years of practice.”

  She glanced down river letting the breeze cool her cheeks.

  Her grandmother and Dawson were sitting on the linen square laughing and so engaged with one another that the river and Rebecca were apparently long forgotten. Their easy laughter and lack of pretense was refreshing and... beautiful. They were honest in their friendship and enjoyment of each other. Adam was the same in his manner. Rebecca didn’t have to guess or posture with him, and yet she did at times—and it was at those times she felt the most uncomfortable and... untruthful. But sometimes she felt a need to shield him from her real self.

  She watched Adam fish and wrestled with her thoughts.

  By the time she and Adam returned to the landing, they had five trout inside Adam’s basket that he’d cleaned and dressed at the river’s edge—and Rebecca owed him two kisses.

  Dawson had a fire burned down to white embers and Rebecca’s grandmother had an apron-full of wild strawberries that she’d washed in the river. As Adam cooked the fish over the hot coals, Rebecca settled down atop a blanket beside him and set out the contents of the basket the inn had prepared for them.

  Stealing glances at Adam, she watched him closely. She liked the sight of his strong hands and how his wavy hair curled just below the collar of his shirt. She liked the scent of him, too, all woodsy and fresh, like he was a part of the earth.

  He’d talked of patience today as he’d fished for trout. Had he navigated the lay of the land and waited patiently for the trout to take the bait he’d cast? Was he doing the same with her? She felt herself being tempted by his promises and reeled into his strong arms. Should she fight the hook or see what he’d do with her once he caught her?

  The baked trout was delicious. Adam cleaned the bones from the meat and gave her the most succulent pieces. When a bite fell from her fork, he was there to catch the piece and spare her pretty skirt. “Thank you,” she said, letting him know with her eyes that she was thanking him for more than the fish. “This is one of the loveliest days I’ve had yet.”

  “I suspect it’s the same for all of us,” he said, gesturing with his chin to where their grandmother and Dawson were now strolling the river’s edge. “Do you think they’re courting?”

  Rebecca observed them for several minutes before she shook her head. “I think they’ve each found a very dear friend that they have both desperately needed.” She looked at Adam. “As have I,” she whispered. “Thank you, Adam.”

  He leaned in and placed a tender kiss on her cheek. “I will always be your friend, Rebecca... and I will always love you.” He grinned and sat back. “I plan to collect the other kiss you owe me when we’re alone.” He gave her a playful wink.

  She released a laugh of surprise, but felt a little breathless and scared because this man was carrying her out to sea as swiftly as a schooner in a strong wind, and she had nothing to hang onto but him.

  Hours later their foursome packed up the canoes and headed back to Crane Landing. Despite the joy in her day, sadness also claimed a part of it. If the memories she had shared with Adam were even half as sweet as their time together at Petticoat Landing she had lost far more than she had imagined.

  As Adam navigated the rocky rapids and paddled them downriver for home, Rebecca’s thoughts turned to Princess Cecily. The woman had no choice but to create a future here. She had recorded her life and trials in a diary that Rebecca longed to read. Somehow Rebecca would rebuild her own life and make peace with the knowledge that she may never recover her lost memories. But oh, memories she’d made with Adam Grayson could only be spectacular moments and something she desperately wanted back.

  She pivoted atop her seat and glanced back at her grandmother. The woman had raised a family and buried a husband. She had faced hardship and heartache, and yet she could still laugh with ease. In Grandma’s eyes, life was filled with possibilities and precious moments. Though she could not undo the sadness of the past, she did not fret the future. She lived now. Here, in this moment.

  Rebecca turned her gaze to Adam. She watched as the muscles of his arms bunched and flexed with every stroke of the paddle. He worked with skill and ease: down into the water with one hard push back; then a slight
jog of the paddle to keep the bow moving straight ahead. After a couple of minutes, he would switch to the other side of the canoe and repeat the motions on the left side. That’s how he approached life, she was learning. He studied it and made his best choices and then he executed whatever hard push he needed to take him in the direction he wanted to go.

  She needed to do the same.

  But how could she move forward with her mind full of broken images and strange thoughts? How could she move forward with Adam when all he wanted to do was go back?

  Chapter Twenty-one

  As summer blossomed, Rebecca enjoyed casual suppers on the back porch where her grandmother and Adam and Dawson Crane seemed to prefer eating. They talked about their day and the upcoming Independence Day dance at the grange. They laughed at Jojo’s antics. Some evenings they played lawn croquet together, sometimes with Mary and Leo, and playfully taunted and flirted with each other. Jojo loved chasing the croquet balls, which brought them all to laughter many times during their lively matches. Late at night, Rebecca would meet Adam on the porch where they would snuggle on the swing and talk about their past and future, and share their revelations and dreams. Rebecca couldn’t remember all the happy times in her life, but she knew this was one of them.

  Although she missed her beautiful mare and her family, she knew she needed this time in the peaceful town of Crane Landing. She needed to get her legs beneath her before she could step back into the midst of siblings and memories and village filled with friends and neighbors who swirled around her like a swift moving stream.

  The days passed far too quickly—and each one began and ended with Adam.

  Every morning he would leave a special something at Rebecca’s doorstep before heading to work, and in the evening he would join her and Grandma for supper. Tuesday’s gift had been a sprig of wildflowers twined about a small wreath of twiglets. A dark honeycomb tucked inside a wooden box served as Wednesday’s gift, while Thursday’s surprise was Adam himself.

  “G’morning,” he said as she opened the door not long after sunrise.

  Expecting a small present on the stoop and not a tall, muscled man standing in wait for her, Rebecca sucked in a startled breath and gaped at him. “Adam! You gave me a fright!”

  “Exactly the opposite of what I’d intended. I’m sorry, Rebecca.”

  She self-consciously smoothed one hand over her bed-tousled hair as her other hand grabbed at the enclosure of her dressing gown. “What are you doing here?”

  He grinned in appreciation. “You are so beautiful.” His voice, quiet and filled with love, seemed to enfold her and seal them inside a sacred space where only the two of them existed. “I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he said. “I didn’t even intend to be at the door when you opened it. I just... Wait a minute,” he said, glancing up at the morning sky. “I’m not late for work, right? The sun did just rise, didn’t it?”

  Rebecca couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, Adam,” she said, “the sun just rose, and yet here I am, wide awake, having rushed out of bed and down the steps to see if you had been here.” She shrugged. “To find you here was more than I’d anticipated.”

  “Ah,” he murmured. “So you like my gifts?”

  Rebecca felt her heart tremble at the way his voice dropped a note, as if it pleased him deeply to know that she anticipated his daily offerings. With pure honesty she said, “I love that you find such beauty in simple things and that you share those things with me, Adam.”

  “And I love that you receive them with such anticipation and joy.”

  A moment of silence stirred between them, punctuating the strong truth of their words.

  The sun’s light cast him in soft gold hues. “Today’s gift is in my pocket. I was just about to lay it atop the stoop when you opened the door. If you go back inside, I’ll put it there for you to find once I’m gone.”

  Rebecca shook her head. “I want to receive it from you, Adam, while you’re here with me.”

  Though her words were just a whisper, the meaning behind them held all the force of the river they’d navigated just a few days ago. Whether Adam realized it or not, Rebecca was trying to tell him that while she couldn’t remember their past, she knew they were connected, that she acknowledged their easy friendship and their romance. And she was growing more certain by the day that she wanted to experience their future together, side by side.

  “I didn’t realize how much you were enjoying these simple favors I’ve been leaving on your stoop,” he said.

  “Since my accident, I’ve learned that gifts come wrapped and unwrapped, expected and unexpected, but they never leave a person the same way they found them. Your gifts move me, Adam.”

  A smile curved his lips. “Knowing that brightens my day.” He reached his right hand into the pocket of his dark dungarees. When he withdrew it, his right fist was closed around the secret in his palm. “I have something special for you today.” He wiggled his fist. “I’ll bet you’re dying to know what it is.”

  A light bubble of laughter rose in her throat. “You tease! You’re enjoying this. You’re truly going to make me wait for this, aren’t you?”

  With a playful laugh, he unfolded his fingers to reveal a handcrafted dragonfly.

  Rebecca drew in a breath. He’d made a simple fish hook into beautiful art using feathers and fibers and turns of thread. He’d fashioned a pin for her, she realized finally—an exquisite green dragonfly pin, with peacock herl as its tail.

  “Oh, Adam. It’s beautiful.”

  “I thought it would remind you of our fishing trip.”

  “It does.” She nodded. “It will. Always.”

  “I’d pin it on you, but...”

  She drew her hands to her throat, gathering tight the material of her nightdress. “I’ll just take it for now and you can pin it on my dress during tomorrow night’s dance.”

  “I can hardly wait.” The deep, warm sound of his voice drew her mind to their late night meetings on her back porch where they shared their most intimate thoughts in warm whispers. Gently, he drew her right hand away from her gown, carefully placed the dragonfly in her palm, and then he closed her fingers over the pin. “Consider yourself forewarned that I plan to be your only partner for tomorrow’s Independence Day soiree.”

  “Perhaps it is you who should be warned, Adam. I don’t even know if... Do I know how to dance?”

  Adam leaned close, cupping her cheek as he gazed into her eyes. “Rebecca, darling, you were born to dance. I plan to show you just how much you love the act tomorrow evening.”

  “You make it sound simple, Adam.”

  “Not so much simple as artless, natural. That’s really what I mean. Just close your eyes and feel the music. I’ll take you the rest of the way.”

  That’s what he did at night when they met alone on her back porch. She would close her eyes and drink in his scent and the sound of his voice as he drew her into his arms and talked to her and rekindled their connection.

  She blew out a breath. “I suppose I must trust you on this.”

  Adam cocked his head to one side, his eyes narrowing. “Have I given you a reason not to trust me?” he asked.

  She shook her head and met his eyes. “No, Adam. I know I can trust you. I’m just nervous I’ll have two left feet and embarrass both of us.”

  Shaking his head, he gathered her into his arms and held her against his chest. “You have beautiful feet and you float across a dance floor like a milkweed puff on a soft breeze.” He stroked her back sending comforting warmth down her spine. “Dancing is liberating and healing, Rebecca.” He eased back, tilted her chin and gave her a soft peck on the lips. “Trust me on this.”

  His sincerity made her smile. “All right, Adam. I will.”

  “Thank you.” Growing businesslike, he set her away from him. “I won’t be able to stop by tomorrow morning. I’m leading the crew that will set the flagpole at the Grange hall.”

  “I understand,” she said. “Dawson has offered
to drive grandmother and me to the flag-raising ceremony, so I’ll see you there. How does that sound?”

  “Like a moment I don’t want to miss.”

  Rebecca held her dragonfly pin close to her heart. “Thank you, Adam. I can’t think of a nicer way to start my day than seeing you.”

  “And I can’t think of a better way to end my night than with you in my arms. Marry me and you can see my smiling face every morning.” With a wink, he tipped his cap and then turned and headed down the shelled walk.

  Was he toying with her or had he just asked her, again, to marry him? Stunned, Rebecca watched as Adam strode down River Road, his long legs and sure gait confident and determined as if he knew exactly where he wanted to go. But with Rebecca, he was walking into a situation blind. He didn’t know about the snarl of irrational thoughts growing like weeds in her mind.

  Exhaling a hard breath, Rebecca warned herself to not overreact. Adam had simply been flirting with her—and she enjoyed it. So what if her thoughts were disturbing? She’d taken a hard knock to her head and was entitled to periodic confusion. That didn’t mean she was unstable or unsuitable. It just meant she was... well, she was just... a mess.

  Huffing out a breath, Rebecca lingered in the doorway watching the sun’s light flash gold in the wings of her dragonfly. She wanted wings of her own. She wanted to face the wind, spread her wings and soar into life. Adam would keep her tethered to her old life, the one where there was no question of them being together. Rebecca wanted to fly with Adam, but she couldn’t do that if he wouldn’t spread his wings.

  The world around her was too exciting to be land-bound. There were rivers to canoe and oceans to cross. She wanted her life to flow like the Crane River, pounding down mountains and through valleys and eventually, when she got to the end of her life, she wanted to flow into the ocean, spread her arms, and die with her fingers touching two continents.

  By Friday morning, Rebecca had calmed down and was excited for the Independence Day activities to begin. She finished the letter she’d begun writing to her mother and father and then poured herself another cup of tea. She had gotten an unusually good night of rest and was eager to see Adam.