Shattered by Love
Page 10
When I finally pull away, her eyes narrow with an angry glare. Anger at me for what I just did. I don’t blame her.
“Ivy—” When she steps away and glares at me, I know I am in for it.
“No, Jayce. Fuck you for leaving me and not fighting for me. I loved you, I would have done anything for you. Jesus, I walked out on my family because I found out what my father said to you. But you, no, you cannot walk in here, fuck me senseless and think I am okay with it.”
Her mention of what happened that day sends me reeling into the dark memory.
* * *
“Sit down.” His deep baritone used to scare me. Now when I look at the man who will one day be my father-in-law all I see is an aging man that’s scared his daughter fell in love with the wrong man.
Which I suppose she did in his eyes, not mine. “Do you know why I asked you here?” I slip into the seat opposite his desk and nod.
“Yes, Mr. Devereaux. You’re concerned about my relationship with Ivy.” No point in beating about the bush, I know he hates me. I don’t give a fuck though because I love her.
As soon as he’s seated, he steeples his fingers above the desk and watches me. This is his intimidation technique, but it doesn’t faze me.
“I am and considering your mother keeps getting arrested, I don’t think my daughter’s reputation will survive being around the likes of you.” This riles me and I lean forward.
“I am not my mother. Since—”
“There is not enough shits for me to give about you or your mother. You will break up with my daughter. And don’t think that is a request, it’s an order. You will break her heart and tell her you no longer want to be with her. Tell her you cheated on her or some shit. If I so much as hear a whisper that you told her about this conversation, I will make your lousy piece of shit life crumble. Do you hear me?”
I stare at him for a long while, not sure what to say because my blood is boiling and my heart is thundering in my ears.
“You can’t just—”
“I can do whatever the fuck I want. You know if you don’t want to leave my daughter, I can make you leave. You and your mother will pay, and that is a promise. I know people in that fucking shit-hole where your mother is that would be happy to do anything for me. If you don’t leave, I will make sure that something gruesome happens to her. Make no mistake, I am not a nice man, and I don’t like you. There is nothing more you can say to change my mind. You are trash and will never be worthy of my daughter.”
“You’re a fucking dick. Do you know what? Your daughter will walk out on you one day and you will die alone. Because both Ivy and Lacey will see you for the monster you are.” My voice booms through his dark office. It’s as dark as his fucking soul.
My body is trembling with anger, and if I had something in my hand, I would have probably killed the fucker.
“Listen here boy, you will do as I say. There is no choice for you. That’s what happens when you’re nothing but trailer trash. Even your father couldn’t stick around long enough.” Just then the door swings open and my beautiful girl is standing there dressed in a midnight blue dress. It offsets her beautiful skin and her long blonde hair flows down her back making her look like an avenging angel.
I have to walk away. I want to fight for her, but I have nothing to give her. I am living off my paycheck from the coffee shop and Luke’s loans he keeps telling me not to repay. And as much as I hate my mother, to know it’s my fault something happened to her is something I can’t live with.
“I am ready.” She gives a tentative smile and I straighten.
“Ivy, I have to work tonight. You need to stay here.” I stalk to the door and shove past her. I am being a brute, but her father is watching and I can’t let her—or him—see me break. As I walk out, I pull the office door closed, but before it clicks, I hear his voice.
“Darling, I think it’s time we talk about your future. That boy is not good for you.” His words stall my footsteps and I hold my breath, waiting for her answer. She’ll disagree with him. I know she will.
“Daddy, he’s not like his mother.”
“Ivy, what is he going to give you?” Moments tick by, and when I don’t hear her voice, I guess she must agree with him. I make my way to the front door and walk out. This is it. I am losing the only girl who ever made me love and there is no way I will let her see me break.
* * *
“I walked away because I believed it was best for you and my mother. He threatened to hurt her, Ivy and if I thought for one fucking minute that he wouldn’t follow through on his threat, I…”
My words trail off because as my gaze meets hers, I see the pain she’s been through. “He threatened my mother, me, and you.” Anger burns through my veins as I watch her. “You didn’t fight for me either. So don’t stand there and put all the blame on me.”
Blue eyes blaze with fury. My words were harsh, I realize that, but I couldn’t stop them from falling from my mouth. “Fuck you. You don’t know the whole story, Jayce. You let me walk out, without so much as a fucking explanation. Now I am walking out again, without an explanation.” With that she spins on her heel and leaves me gaping at the closed deep red door.
I walked out. I fucking walked out because he was being an asshole. My anger fizzles to the point of nothing when I realize that he’s not the only one to blame, but that doesn’t mean he can just fuck me and expect things to sort themselves out.
It was almost as if he was letting me in, the way I let him in. Into my body, my mind, and into my heart. My mistake. He’s just trying to punish me for keeping his son a secret.
“Baby girl, are you okay?” Turning to my best friend, I swallow the lump in my throat and nod. There is no way I can say anything for fear of the tears that are stinging my eyes.
“Mom, look what uncle Bryce bought me.” Glancing down, I see that Ben has the cape and mask he’s been begging for.
“That’s awesome monster, come here and give me a hug.” Pulling my son in calms me. He smells like pancakes and chocolate and I can only imagine how much he’s eaten. My sweet boy. I hope his father will not leave us again. When Jayce walks into the courtyard, his gaze lands on us. The smile that cracks on that handsome face sends a sliver of hope racing through me.
“Ben.” Jayce’s voice is calm, but the storm in his eyes is palpable. I release my son and he runs up to his father. They’re building a bond, even though the future is uncertain, I can’t keep Ben from his dad, but Jayce lives in LA and I live in Chicago. There is no in between.
He’s still under the impression that my father ruled my life that day, but he needs to know I chose him. Decisions will have to be made and they won’t be easy. “I am heading up. See you later for dinner?” My best friend gives me a reassuring smile. I nod at Bryce and turn to Jayce.
“We need to talk.” I gesture to the door and he knows what I mean because his face falls.
“I know. Not now okay?” He laces his fingers with mine and walks me to the stairs.
“The air needs clearing.” I whisper, glancing at Ben making sure he doesn’t hear me.
“Ivy, I realize that.” He lets Ben down and grasps his hand. “I told you, we will talk, just not right now.” I turn to face him, and my glance settles on Kenna at the door of the bride’s dressing room when Jayce catches my line of sight and his eyes fall on her causing a low groan to rumble in his chest. I know there must be something between them.
“Did you…?”
“Not anymore, Ivy.”
“Anymore? So you did…?” Gesturing with my hand between us as Ben fiddles with his cape. Thankfully he’s not paying attention to our exchange, but I realize deep down, he’s picking up on the tension.
“We did. It’s never been serious.” Something in my gut twists. Jealousy? Anger? I have no right to be angry, he was single. It didn’t matter that I didn’t touch another man since he left.
Except for a stupid one-night stand, but Jayce was always the one.
“Ivy, come on. We weren’t together.” I feel the little hand in mine, and I realize I am doing something I promised myself I never would, fighting in front of Ben.
“Not now. We can finish this later.”
Spinning on my heel, I pull Ben with me as we head up the stairs.
“Ivy.” His voice is a warning, that same tone that always sends heat through my veins and straight to where I need him most, inside me.
“Ben, do you want to watch television while I talk to your dad?” With a small nod, he gives me the same smile that I know will one day break a million hearts.
The one that made me fall in love with his father.
“Mom, are you and dad fighting?” Inquisitive eyes the same shade as his father’s peeps up at me.
“We’re not fighting, but there are some grown-up things we have to talk about. Be good, I will be right outside.” He nods and grabs the remote from me. How a five-year old, well almost, can work a TV remote is beyond me. He spends way too much time with Bryce. When I step back into the hallway, I find Jayce leaning against the railing. His gaze trained on me, arms crossed in front of his chest and I can’t stop noticing how the top he’s wearing hugs his chest deliciously. I leave the door cracked in case Ben needs me.
“So, you’re going to get angry when friends of mine are around?” The smug look on his face boils my blood.
“No, Jayce. I am weary when they’re friends you’ve fucked.” I hiss. With narrowed eyes, he takes in my expression and a smirk tugs on his lips. That incredible mouth that does the most exquisitely dirty things to my body. Get a hold of yourself, Ivy.
“I always loved how jealous you got, even though I was right here with you, Ivy.” He places his hand on my chest, right where my heart is. The words hang in the air between us and breathing takes effort, leaving me speechless. Love is something I haven’t felt since he walked out, the love I have for my son is different. This, between Jayce and I, its soul searing. Our hearts are intertwined for eternity—to live without that will kill me.
Jay has the strength to hurt me in the most profound way, and I don’t know if I can handle it again. The last time he left me, or let me leave, I only just survived. The loneliness left me sliced open wide, flayed with the pain seeping from me in a self pitying ache that never went away, until now.
Breathing, living, just being, was difficult. And when I found out I was pregnant; it killed me a little more because he wasn’t there to see it or experience it.
We’re a part of each other and always will be. Connected, not just because of Ben, but because we are two halves of a whole.
“I love you too. I always have, it’s been a long time since I said that to anyone.”
“Oh? And who was the last person you said it to?” My gaze lifts to his, locking on those ice-blue pools and finding a cocky smile. His hungry gaze scorches my blood. There’s the animal he lets loose on my body and when he takes me, he possesses me. That’s who I see staring back at me; the love of my life.
“You.” He leans in and the heat of his breath tickles my neck. His soft lips brush against the skin below my ear sending tingles down my spine. With a firm grip on my hips, he holds me against him. The ridge of his erection presses against my thigh.
“Well then little, Firefly. Since you love me so much, I think we should play a game tonight because I remember how much you enjoyed those. And when that pussy is soaking wet and aching for my cock to fuck you, when you’re begging and pleading for your release, I will love you and give it to you.”
His crude words have my clit throbbing. The need for him to touch me, taste me, fuck me, is unbearable and I want to have him bend me over right here on the balcony. Not caring who sees us, but I can’t. We can’t. We’re meant to be responsible parents. Two can play his game and he knows it, he’s goading me.
Turning my head, I graze his earlobe with my teeth, tugging on it, eliciting a growl. “Flash, you know how fucking wet you make me? You have my panties soaked, with the memory of you tasting me. Tonight, when we play, I want you to take me and possess me like you always do because tonight you will lose control and when you come, it will be deep inside me.”
Stepping back, out of his grasp, I offer him a small smile and turn to my room, but before I step inside, I glance at him and give him a cheeky wink. I know that’s earned me a spanking I will never forget. I want the animal loose, and I want him loose on me. I want him to show me the pain and pleasure I crave. That my body craves.
Even before I can close the room door, a hand stops it. A quick glance and my eyes stare into stormy blue ones. The fire that blazes in them have my body responding in a primal way. A low gruff whisper, the timbre of his voice is dripping lust. “That tight little cunt will be mine tonight, and every night after. Don’t you dare forget what I can do to your body and when I am done, you will never leave me again.”
With a dark smirk, he turns and walks off leaving me in stunned silence. As the door shuts, I inhale a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. After tonight we will need to have a serious talk.
How will he react to the thought of me wanting to live in Chicago? Does he want me in LA? We haven’t spoken about the future yet, but I know that he wants Ben in his life. So that begs the question. Will he uproot his life? Or do I uproot mine?
My body is humming with an ache that only he can sate. I crave the dark delight inside him. I hope we can get back to that, to what we were. If not, I don’t think I will survive.
The past few days have been surreal, Jayce found out he has a son, Cole is getting married to someone else and here I am, making the dress I should be wearing. This is the week for secrets to be revealed. What else will happen before the actual wedding?
Lacey just left, I have the final adjustments to do on her gown before the big day. Thoughts, memories, everything seems too much and I can’t stop the ache in my chest. The moment I laid eyes on Lacey when she walked into my office for our meeting, I knew that she isn’t who Cole would have chosen for his wife. She’s beautiful, yes, but too refined. Maybe he’s changed and his tastes are different to the man I remember.
* * *
“Miss Devereaux, it’s good to meet you.” My smile is plastered on and I wonder if she can tell. Does she know that her soon to be husband and I were a couple? It was so long ago, perhaps he didn’t tell her.
“Call me Lacey, please.” She offers her hand. “I have seen your work online and your dresses are exquisite.” The air is thick with tension that comes from me.
“Good, I have a few samples here and a pattern I thought you’d like. I mean we can always alter it, this is up to you.” Stepping up to the table, I pull the materials over, they’re all white, which is what she requested. Soft, light fabrics for the wedding dress, the maid of honor’s dress will be a bright pink, and the fabrics I found are all top quality. I am supposed to be meeting her sister there to complete the adjustments to fit her perfectly.
“Kenna, do you mind if I call you Kenna?” I shake my head. “My dress has to be done before we even leave here. I want appointments set up everyday for the next two weeks. Will you be able to finish it in that time?”
“Yes, that’s not a problem.” Two of the longest weeks of my life.
* * *
My phone beeping drags me from the memory. Swiping the screen, I open the message from Jayce and read the message a few times before it blurs. This can’t be true. I don’t know what hurts more, him marrying Lacey, or her being pregnant. That’s different, so fucking different.
There’s nothing I can say in response. Fuck. Dragging my gaze to the dress, my heart aches more. As soon as I get this done, I can get out of here. Away from the pain, from the memory of
the past that’s ripping me in two.
The white fabric lying on the table in front of me shimmers. The small diamanté stones are intricately woven between layers of silk, chiffon, and organza. It’s a beautiful dress. I stand up, lifting it from the table, holding it against me. Glancing in the mirror, I twist and turn to make sure the skirts are flowing like I want them to and they do. Exquisite. Perfect. Not mine. “God.” A deep voice startles me and I spin around, coming face to face with Cole Ashford.
“Cole, what are you doing in here? You’re not supposed to see the dress.” Even as the words tumble from my mouth, I don’t lower the white princess gown I am holding. Heat courses through me and my throat goes dry.
Anger.
Fear.
Love. Always love.
“It’s perfect…” His gaze trails slowly from the hem up to the bodice. The emotion playing behind those amber eyes, undress me in every sense of the word. I am naked. Open to his scrutiny. A smile curls his lips. “… for you.” Finally, I lay the dress on my table, and turn to him.
“Why are you here?” Ignoring his comment, my biting retort is met with a cheeky smirk.
“I wanted to say hi, and it appears my timing is perfect. You would look incredible in that dress.” His eyes flit to the material behind me. Is he being serious right now? How can he say something like that when he’s about to marry someone else?
“I need to work and it’s best you stay out of this. Or far from me. Once the dresses are finished I am leaving.” I can’t look at him anymore. He’s too beautiful, yes, beautiful.
When you look at Cole, it’s as if you’re looking at an advert for the perfect GQ man. He’s dark tousled hair that always looks like he’s just woken up, those eyes that shimmer amber with gold flecks. His perfect jawline and day old scruff, and the tanned skin that makes him look like he stepped off a beach in the Mediterranean. Perfection.