by DD Prince
He can act like he doesn’t care deeply for me, but things like that keep stacking up to tell me he does.
I keep the house clean. I swim laps. I read, I draw, and I’ve started writing.
I’ve been drawing and writing out two stories. One, a graphic story that gives an overview of my life from my childhood to our wedding day, with the words and the photos, graphic novel style. Three sketchbooks came and I’ve nearly filled two of them with the two stories I’ve been writing and drawing pictures for.
Because I don’t know how my story will end, I’ve also been making up a story, alongside, with the ending I want.
It’s a modern re-telling of Rapunzel with photos. Me and him. The hero with the gunmetal eyes and the panther tattoo slays the dragon with devil horns and is set free from the invisible chains that Rapunzel couldn’t see, but suspected were there.
He slays the dragon and then he’s free to really love his Rapunzel in the tower with the long golden hair. They watch his chains burn to dust and float away.
Through playing with the computer a bit, I’ve found that the word processor has built-in language tools and I find myself writing things down and then translating them to Spanish to add to the story so that the hero says Spanish words that he might say if he wanted to tell me he loved me. That he wants babies with me. That he never wanted to be bad but he had to be bad to keep me safe, to slay the dragon, El Diablo. The kill scene was glorious and the end, even more so.
The hero tells his Rapunzel that he wants a home together with just us where she can cook for him, where she can take care of him. He promises to take care of her, give her babies, give me him. All of him.
I don’t know what makes El Diablo who he is. I don’t know Alessandro’s backstory. But when I eventually get the whole tale, I can finish the book. And write the epilogue. Me and him. Together. Him free.
***
Five weeks after I arrive, my husband shows up. The middle of the night, out of the blue, and in a mood scarier than the scariest I’d ever seen him.
***
The blankets are sliding off me. I sit up and reach for them, in confusion, but then my nightgown is going up and over my head. I try to focus, get my eyes to adjust, but it’s pitch dark. I feel it’s him here.
“Oh, hi…”
I sigh, in relief, and fall back to the pillows and spread my legs wide, ready to invite him to just take me. I feel my heart lifting, a smile forming on my sleepy face. I whisper his name and then he’s hovering over me.
“I’ve missed you. Is it done? You get him?” I whisper, running my fingers through his hair.
He growls, “Over. Ass in the air.”
He flips me roughly and then he lifts my hips up and yanks my panties to the side, slamming his cock into me. I wasn’t ready. Not nearly. So, it hurts. A lot. I lunge forward, reflexively trying to get away, but my head cracks off the headboard.
“Ow!” I cry out.
He snarls and yanks my hair back and then pins my face to the pillow, using my hair.
Is this a nightmare? Is he really being this rough with me? He hasn’t seen me in five weeks and this is the hello I get?
“You’re hurting me,” I cry out.
His hand covers my mouth and his mouth is behind my earlobe as he thrusts inside over and over, grunting, angrily. I cry into his hand, tears streaming. He’s pounding hard. He’s grunting. He’s holding my mouth too hard, he’s putting too much weight on me, and I’m just bawling my eyes out. Tears hitting his hand.
He growls, “This is what it means to be mine, Holly. Hurt. Being treated like a faceless nameless slave.”
It takes a long time, but finally, he roars out an orgasm like a wild animal and then rolls off me.
I stay on my belly, tears drying on my face. I close my eyes and try to go back to sleep. Brokenhearted. No kisses, no sweet-sounding Spanish. Nothing but anger and being treated like a blow-up doll. Except a blow-up doll doesn’t cry so do blow-up dolls make him come the way I make him come? Probably not.
He clearly didn’t get the bad guy. And he’s come back here and taken frustration out on me.
He doesn’t lean over and hold me, kiss me, or put his arms around me. He goes to sleep with his back to me.
Alessandro
He wasn’t there. He wasn’t fucking there. It’s been days since I found the place empty, trashed, and I’ve taken action but I’m still reeling. Seething.
Getting dropped in, in the thick of a jungle, ready, so fucking ready to end this, and then finding the little house empty, finding my mother’s locket with my picture inside lying in a bed that had bloody sheets?
I lost it and trashed the fucking place. Dario Ferrano served as co-pilot to a local bush pilot he’d found, who flew the plane out of there after dropping me and Zack in. Wes and two other guys met us there, with a car. It took the four who’d been dropped with me to get ahold of me and keep me held down until I calmed. I went that fuckin’ apeshit.
“We’ll get him, Lex. We’ll get him. He was here. This is the closest we’ve ever gotten.”
Fuck. Zack said all that in a low and sure voice, trying to calm me the fuck down.
Wes knew better than to get in my space. He backed up after I stopped fighting them and watched from a safe distance, a look on his face that told me he felt my pain. He didn’t. No way he had a clue.
“Off!” I ordered. They all gave me space and I walked out. I walked the seventeen miles to the closest town.
Zack and Wes tried to pick me up, following alongside in the car for a bit, until I pointed my loaded weapon at Zack, snarling with warning for him to fuck right off.
He drove off, but he and Wes waited for me in town. I got into his rental car without a word. Wes passed me a big bottle of water and a meal replacement bar, which I immediately tore into, as Zack drove to the airport. I walked away from them when we parked and didn’t look back. Flew here. Spent a night in a hotel room in San Jose getting drunk out of my brain and then waking up in my own puke on the bathroom floor. It didn’t shave the tiniest layer off my rage.
And now I’m in bed beside my Holly, who’s lying on her belly and quietly crying into her pillow, because when I got back and after she so sweetly opened her legs, giving me a breathy, ‘Alessandro’ and then touched me like she was happy to see me, I showed her how fucking dead and rotted out my heart is.
I got a text on the road here. The Ferrano boys are on their way here. They’ll be here tomorrow. And then we’ll talk. Figure out what’s next.
These boys have become more than allies. They’ve started treating me like family. I don’t deserve Dario’s respect with the way I treat his wife’s sister.
I don’t deserve to stay in this house that Tommy bought as a getaway safehouse and retreat for his family.
Whatever Zack has done to plead my case or whatever these guys have felt because of growing up with the father they grew up with? It’s made them become friends. And other than Wes, I haven’t had friends. Unless you count Joaquin Delgado and his friendship was toxic.
Dario, a pilot with only a little bit of experience, went out on a limb finding the best pilot in Africa that he could find, who got me into the thick dangerous Congo to drop me in. Tommy’s lent trusted Ferrano resources to my cause so that I don’t tip off people who might be in touch with my father.
I don’t deserve the friendship Zack has given me. He sat with me before the Congo, telling me that he finessed things so my deal still stands. They’re giving me more time.
He got Barry Dresden to sign an extension of the deal they offered me, even though Dresden’s human trafficking task force got dismantled during the takedown of the Thailand sex resort.
Zack should only care about catching him, not worry about whether or not I’ll have to answer for all my many sins. And yet he went out of his way to do that for me. He even got that immunity extended to Rocco, who’s now completely in the know about everything.
Bringing in one of the top wa
nted public enemies in Mexico and elsewhere would be a feather in Dresden’s cap, so he’s still willing, but he’s planning on retiring in a year or two and wants this shit done before he ends his reign, so he’s impatient but willing to play ball. I’m still untouchable to most legal authorities because of this deal. It should help me sleep at night, but it is no consolation. There’s only one thing that helps me sleep at night and I keep hurting her.
I don’t care about immunity deals. I don’t give a flying fuck about what happens after all this is over. I just need it over. I need to do whatever the fuck needs to be done so that it’s over. So my mother gets the fuck away from that monster. I need to deliver him to the Feds and get the fuck on with life.
After I burn what’s left of his legacy to the ground. The shit storm I’ve now dumped gasoline on and lit a match to? It’s gonna garner a reaction from Pablo Alejandro Romero. For certain. I look forward to pissing on it to put that fire out later on. And then smoking a big fat cigar.
Holly
I wake up to sounds of movement in the hallway with shushing. I sit up straight and listen. Alessandro’s still in bed. He sits up, too. Rubbing his eyes.
“Ferranos are here,” he rumbles.
I gasp, jump up, and look out the window, which gives us an amazing view of the water, and I see Tommy and Tia. And Tommy has a little baby in his arms with a pink hat on. Tia is holding onto Tommy’s arm, dipping her toe into the water.
I squeal and throw my robe on and run out of the room and down the hall toward the stairs, seeing all sorts of luggage and a pack ‘n play inside the ajar master bedroom doorway. On my way through the house toward the door, I catch sight of a head of curly red hair. My sister!
She was about to go out the front door, Dare behind her.
We both scream and jump up and down. She throws her arms around me.
I start to bawl.
“Oh my God! I’ve missed you so much!” She’s blubbering, I’m blubbering, too. I think I’m blubbering harder.
We hug each other for a long time and then Tia is with us, putting her arms around me.
“Oh my God, you look amazing!” I tell her. She doesn’t look like she’s had a baby.
“Where’s that baby? I need to hold her!”
Tommy comes in and he has the most beautiful baby I’ve ever set eyes on in his arms. Pink sun suit with little ruffles, a floppy pink sunhat. A chunky little baby girl with loads of light brown curls and her daddy’s light brown eyes.
“Oh my God!”
“This is Princess Carina,” Ang informs.
“The new overlord of the Ferrano family,” Dare adds. “She’s pretty damn cute but don’t let that fool ya. This girl has a set of lungs and her Dad’s temper. She’s gonna be bossin’ us all around as soon as she figures out how to talk.”
The baby blows a raspberry with her lips as if on cue. She’s a perfect combination of Tommy and Tia.
Tommy snickers and passes her to me. She looks pouty for a second at her daddy, like she’s gonna cry at him giving her up, but I squeal in delight and kiss her forehead, “Oh, hi! I’m your Auntie Holly! Can I be her Auntie Holly?” I ask.
Tia says, “Of course!”
The baby smiles at me and reaches for a handful of my hair instead of wailing. She is perfect. I’m melting.
“Mornin’,” Alessandro greets. He’s at the bottom of the stairs, dressed. He’s wearing a short sleeved button-down plaid shirt and khaki cargo shorts. Leather flip flops on.
The baby reaches for him. Tries to lunge out of my arms. Alessandro takes a step back, like she’s some unknown creature. There’s no way he’s gonna hold her. I’ve got a firm hold of her. I blow a raspberry on her neck and she giggles and takes two handfuls of my hair and yanks.
Tommy, Dare, and Alessandro in the same room? The hotness quotient is off the charts. I’d imagine there’s also enough testosterone in the room to cause an ovaries explosion on a global scale. If they could bottle it and sell the combination from these three men, it’d outsell Viagra, Cialis, and Spanish Fly put together.
Tia and Ang say their hellos to Alessandro and Angie doesn’t even seem awkward about it. I’m awkward, though, so I awkwardly move toward the kitchen muttering that I need coffee, and see that there’s a pile of vacation house provisions and the family’s kooky but awesome Spanish housekeeper Sarah is putting them away.
“Holly! Hola!” Sarah says with a wave and puts her arm around me and squeezes.
“How are you? Coffee? I’m gonna make some breakfast?” she says, pouring a cup and putting it on the counter beside me.
“Want some help?” I offer.
“No, sweetheart, go spend time with your sister. Go!” She shoos me away, “Put Carina in her saucer, she can hang with me while I make food for everyone.”
There’s an Exersaucer on the floor by the table with all sorts of infant toys sitting on top of it.
“Holly,” Alessandro says. Carina is looking up at him and blowing more raspberries and cooing happily from my arms. He glances at her and then looks to me, “A minute. Alone.”
I pass the baby to Ang, who’d followed, and he tags my hand and pulls me toward the stairs.
The girls have smiles as we move away so I’m playing along. Ang doesn’t seem pissed with him. Strangely.
I follow him upstairs.
He gets us into the bedroom that’d been mine and closes the door. I look up at him and I think he reads the pain on my face that I can’t quite hide, that I’m not trying to hide now that it’s just us two.
“I don’t know how long we’re staying. Gotta talk to these guys and then I’ll go from there. Meantime, I think you know by now that you need to keep your mouth shut. About everything.”
I blow out a breath and nod.
“Words, Holly.”
“Okay. Of course, okay. I know the score. But, what---”
“No questions. Mouth shut,” he says coldly and opens the door and goes out to the hall.
I deflate.
I see Dare and Tommy coming up the stairs as he goes out. They all file into the room at the top of the stairs that houses all my art supplies. It was an office slash craft room when I’d gotten there and I’ve kind of taken over. I hope my stuff won’t be in Tommy’s way.
I close the door, then I get dressed in a sundress and sandals and go downstairs and get that forgotten cup of coffee. I see that Tia and Angie are outside sitting on lounge chairs. Sarah and the baby are in the kitchen and the kitchen is filled with breakfast smells. The baby is bouncing in her Exersaucer and cooing and drooling on a baby rattle.
I get outside.
Ang is smiling at me, “You look amazing!”
I think I have my first ever suntan. I’ve spent so much time on the rooftop deck swimming, reading, drawing, that my skin is darker than it’s ever been.
“So do you,” I say. “You’re like…” I search for a word.
“Glowing?” Tia asks, with humor in her voice.
It dawns that she is glowing. She looks so happy and beautiful sitting there.
“Yeah. Glowing. Ang?” I feel my face breaking out into a smile.
She gives me a big smile, “That happens sometimes when you’re pregnant.”
I scream. She screams and we hug, both of us crying.
There are suddenly men everywhere. Tommy, Alessandro, and Dare are on the second-floor balcony and Tino and Rocco are coming from opposite sides of the house. I didn’t realize Tino was here.
Ang waves, “Sorry! I just shared our news.”
Dare smiles at her and they move back inside.
“Female screams equal tweaked men with guns, girls,” Tino admonishes. He has a gun in his hand. Yikes.
“Sorry,” I say.
“Oops,” Angie says, sheepishly.
“Good to see ya, Holly.” He gives me a smile.
“You, too, Tino,” I say.
Tino nods and moves out of sight. So does Rocco.
“It was a long ro
ad,” Angie says, still blushing and looking a bit embarrassed. “I didn’t think I could get pregnant. But a little bit of help from a fertility specialist and it worked our second time. We go for our first doctor’s appointment next week. I was nervous about flying here but I phoned and the doc said it’d be fine. I’m not even two months yet but I’m already showing. My clothes are so tight!” She puts her hand to her belly and I see that it’s already rounding. She’s wearing a billowy loose maxi dress so it wasn’t apparent before now.
“I’m so happy for you!” I wipe my leaky eyes and then touch her tiny belly.
“Well? How’ve you been?” she asks.
“Well…” I don’t know how to finish.
“I’m sure it’s been hard being apart while he’s taking care of things. But, it’ll all be worth it in the end.” She squeezes my hand.
I look at her, confused. I can’t hide my confusion and her face changes. She knows stuff. What on earth does she know that I don’t?
“What’s wrong?” Ang asks, “I mean… besides the obvious.”
I shake my head, “What’s obvious? What do you know?”
She tilts her head and looks at me with suspicion.
“Just tell me quick, please? Before he comes out? We might be leaving today. I don’t know what’s going on and if you know something, tell me!”
My heart is racing, thundering in my chest.
Ang doesn’t hesitate, “Zack and Wes are helping him find his father so that he can be prosecuted for all he’s done. So that they can get Alessandro’s mother free.” She says this with her eyebrows all furrowed, like it’s something I should know.
And wow. It is. My jaw drops and my stomach pitches.
“You okay?” Tia puts her hand on my shoulder.
I shake my head. No. My hand goes over my mouth.
I’m not okay. So not okay.
“Holly?” Ang looks horrified, “What---?” she shakes her head in confusion.
I shrug and start to cry. “He just doesn’t tell me shit. Nothing, Ang. I just… I knew I was being protected.”
I’m not about to let her know just how in the dark I’ve been, but I can’t hide this. I put my fingertips to my temples and deep breathe.