Finally, after much heart-searching and consideration, there was practical help when the decision was made. They moved from the old house to a place where no one knew them as a family, just until matters were resolved and there would be no difficult questions.
Everything finally slotted into place, the deed was done and there could be no turning back.
In the years that followed, Marie came to realise that the sacrifice she had made was allowing her to experience an unexpected joy, a sense of peace, and of course, gratitude.
Always, though, at the back of her mind was a small, niggling concern that one day she would have to tell the truth. One thing was certain: these past years she had not really enjoyed her life. It had been a peculiar pattern of guilt and joy, and immense doubt as to the drastic action she had taken.
She had sinned, and now she was paying the price. Being both desperate and ready to make amends, she had gone ahead with the plan even when her every instinct warned her of possible repercussions. These, thankfully, had not yet materialised in damaging terms, but there was no doubt that her estrangement from her former friends was permanent. But even if she never did see Eileen and Tony again, there was another, more important person in Marie’s life who must one day be told the whole truth. Would she ever forgive her?
Time alone would tell.
CHAPTER FIVE
‘AFTER ALL THESE years, who would have thought it, some coincidence eh?’ Folding his arms John gave a warm chuckle.
‘It is, yes.’ Being a romantic at heart, Danny agreed. ‘a really wonderful thing to see her again. And looking as good as the day we last saw her. A smile to knock your socks off when she finally gave me one.’
‘I wish I’d been able to see Marie again,’ he gave a cheeky wink, ‘think I might have chatted her up!’
He now pointed a finger at his friend. ‘Hey, are you blushing, Danny Boy! You are, aren’t you? Well. That says it all, you fancy her.’
‘Maybe … Maybe not.’ Danny was giving nothing away, focused on rubbing some spots of rust off the corners of the Blue Bench, whistling merrily away.
‘See you later, Danny Boy!’ John chuckled to himself as he made his way down the Promenade, pushing along the heavy barrow full of tools.
‘Not if I see you first.’
Softly now, Danny whispered the name of his old friend to himself, ‘Marie,’ and couldn’t help but smile. The name suited her still, warm and homely and pretty, just like her.
Marie woke with a start. ‘Oh! Dearie me … I must have dozed off!’ She had changed trains at Manchester and was now bone weary. Catching the attention of the roving ticket inspector, she asked worriedly, ‘Excuse me, but which station are we now approaching?’ Heavy with sleep, she sat up straight and peered out of the window, but all she could see were train lines and cows in the neighbouring field.
At first sight she could not recognise any landmarks. ‘Oh dear, I do hope I haven’t missed my station. I can’t seem to recognise where we are.’ She started to panic. ‘And I’ve got family waiting for me at the station – they’re bound to be worried.’
The inspector looked at her proffered ticket. ‘Trust me! You have definitely not missed your stop.’ He was a big, lolloping man, with a ruddy face and light brown wispy hair that hung over his forehead like a fluttering veil. Smiling reassuringly, he promised her, ‘You’ve no need to worry, my dear.’
‘That’s the trouble, I do worry,’ Marie said. ‘It’s no fun waiting on a cold and draughty platform, especially if the loved one you’re waiting for doesn’t even get off the train.’
The inspector was anxious that she was getting herself into a right old state. ‘We’re arriving at your station now, so you’d best shake a leg.’
His hearty chuckle was as merry as his twinkling brown eyes. ‘Come on, then!’ Helping her to organise her handbag and small suitcase, he led her away to the door, chatting as he went.
She felt hugely relieved to be nearing home. ‘I hope my daughter and granddaughter will be outside waiting for me. I feel safer with them than with the taxi drivers, who always seem to be tearing about for the next fare.’
‘You’re right there, m’dear. The trouble is, we all need to do what we must in order to pay the bills. It gets harder and harder as you get older, but we all of us still have to make a living one way or another.’
Shuffling ahead of her, he continued to chat and smile, and when they got to the door, he barred her way with his big frame, until the train stopped, and he helped her off, and lifted out her case.
‘Thank you so much.’ Marie held out a friendly hand, which he grabbed and shook too long and too hard for her comfort.
‘Happen I’ll see you again, m’dear.’ He had a definite twinkle in his eye, and clearly thought her a good-looking woman.
His eager face smiled down on her. ‘I must say, you don’t look half as tired as you did when you came on board. Been burning the candle at both ends, have you? Some wild party or other was it? Am I right?’
Marie recalled the sadness and anger that had tainted her reunion with Tony and Eileen. ‘No, you are not right! Sadly, you could not be more wrong if you tried!’
The flirtatious inspector looked taken aback. ‘Well … I’m sorry … I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just me being stupid, as ever! But you did look just a little worn out, like you might have been dancing all night. You’ve been in the Land of Nod ever since you got on the train.’ He gave a cheeky wink. ‘I kept an eye on you though … ’ He was disappointed when she moved away from him. ‘Hang on … please don’t go just yet.’ Now, at the corner of his eye, he saw approaching up the platform a wobbly old gentleman who appeared to be in some distress. Apologising to Marie, he approached the old man. ‘I’ll be back in a minute, dear,’ he called to her over his shoulder, ‘Don’t be in such a hurry to get away from me, will you?’ The minute he had the inspector in his sight, the old man launched into a most vociferous complaint regarding the sorry state of the toilets on board the train. Marie smiled to herself as she walked away to find Anne and Cathy. Let the over-friendly man give his attention to someone who needed it, she was back with her family now.
But as the train pulled away, she thought what a waste of time her trip to Blackpool had been. It had solved nothing. Instead, she had lost any chance she might have had to make up to Eileen for what she had done. Nothing had changed, nothing was mended, and her friendship with Eileen was still damaged beyond repair. Alone on the chilly platform, Marie could hear the drone of the engine some way along the track behind her. She gave a quiet smile. If I had a choice, I would get on that train and go wherever it takes me. Just go, and never come back, she thought.
Shaking her head in anger, she reminded herself that she had family at home: Cathy, a beautiful and loving girl, and Cathy’s loving parents, Anne and Dave – all of them good and decent people, and every one much loved by Marie.
Anne and Dave had been the saving of her, when she was struggling to find an answer, and she would be grateful to them for the rest of her life.
In this dark and telling moment, however, Marie could only decide two things with some measure of accuracy.
There was no way on earth she could ever change the past.
And there was no way of knowing what the future might hold.
‘I am truly thankful to have such a loving family,’ she thought. That much at least she could rely on.
The thought of seeing her loved ones brought a smile to her face. ‘If I didn’t have them … I don’t even know how I might have coped,’ she murmured.
She would never forget how they had helped her at the lowest, most worrying time in her entire life.
She still felt guilty, and so very undeserving of their love.
In her own home, all those years ago, she had been so lost and lonely following Derek’s demise. But the family rescued her. They gave her a home with them. They afforded her a purpose, and not once did they ever question her failings. Instead,
they took her as she was. And they gave her a second chance, to be herself and to live in the arms of their love.
For all her life, she would never be able to thank them enough for the support they had given her when she needed them most.
But where were they now? Growing frantic, Marie looked up and down the platform, hoping to see familiar faces. She needed her family around her. She had to put the bad things behind her, although she knew, in reality, that she never could.
Even in that warm and welcoming place she called home, the burden of guilt never left her. Instead, it weighed heavily on her mind.
She worried about the loved ones who had gone to great lengths to help her when no one else could. Although in taking care of Marie – in the only way they possibly could – they too had been rewarded over the years, with such joy as they had never known before.
While what had transpired back then had given her the lifeline she so desperately needed, it had by its very nature also created a ticking time bomb. Marie’s greatest fear was that the innocent party in all this would never forgive her if she was to learn the truth. And surely the time was drawing near when she would have to be made aware of her shameful beginnings.
And so, in the years gone by, it was agreed by family, that for now at least, it might be wiser to let sleeping dragons lie, for all their sakes. Marie feared she would keep the secret until the day she died.
Living with the lies and pretence created over the years, Marie had never found peace. She always carried the deep nagging worry, and at times she felt such despair and bitter regret.
Through every waking moment, she dreaded the day when the truth might be discovered … when the lies and shocking deception would surely catch up with her. Mostly, she feared for the innocent, who had no idea of the sordid but well-meant decision that was taken all those years ago.
While the innocent was kept unaware, Marie, along with her caring conspirators, could only hope and pray that they had done the right thing. Sometimes she prayed that the secret would never out so everyone was kept protected, other times it was her deepest, sweetest wish that she could shout the truth from the top of Blackpool Tower.
Thankfully, the secret had remained safe within the family for so long, that it was almost as though there had been no conspiracy at all. No lies. No deception. And so far, no punishment. Life just went on, for both Marie, and also her family. But what if difficult questions were asked and answers demanded?
Each of the conspirators was increasingly dreading the inevitable day the secret must come out, bringing with it a river of heartache to all concerned.
CHAPTER SIX
DAVE GAVE ANNE and Cathy a lift to the station to meet Marie. Anne assured him they would get a taxi home; the train might be running late or Marie might have missed her connection at Manchester so there could be a long wait. They were far too early for the train, but he knew Anne was anxious about her mother and whether she’d at last plucked up the resolve to tell her former friends Tony and Eileen about Cathy. He hoped so. Anne was patient and encouraging in the face of Marie’s wavering sense of purpose and he would have liked Marie not to have to bear the burden of her secret – of their shared secret – for much longer. Dave was a simple man and believed that now Cathy was a young woman it was only fair to tell her the truth, no matter how hurtful.
It was a beautiful day and having done a few quick jobs, Dave was between trips for the haulage company so he decided to have a little stroll to the newsagent’s to get his newspaper, then maybe sit out with a nice cup of tea while he read it.
He was just turning back into the street where he lived when he heard raised voices, and saw a flat-bed truck was parked before the house next door, the semi-detached property with which his own shared a wall. A very heated altercation was starting up right there on the pavement. As he drew nearer, slowing his step to make sure he missed nothing, while making himself as inconspicuous as possible in case he should become subject to the fall-out, Dave was amazed to see that the argument was about a ‘To Let’ board. Several of these were in the back of the truck, and the driver had evidently managed to hammer one into the ground beside the pavement in front of the house before Dave’s neighbour, Bob, confronted him.
‘What the hell are you doing putting that thing up here?’ he shouted. ‘You can just take it down again right now because there is no way this house is to let.’
‘I’ve instructions from the landlord,’ said the sign man.
‘What instructions?’ spat Bob. ‘I’ve not heard anything about this house being to let. I’m the tenant here and the landlord hasn’t said anything to me. So you can take that ruddy sign down now.’
‘I have my instructions …’ the man started, but Bob, who had a short temper, a loud voice and plenty of practice with a noisy family over whom he had to assert himself, just raised his voice and yelled over him.
‘I told you, this house is not to let. It’s got tenants already – I’m the tenant – and you can get that there sign down now. And I mean now! No, don’t you turn your back on me! I’m the tenant here and I’m not leaving this house until the landlord tells me I am. And this isn’t telling. This is sneaky! This is dishonest! I’ve got a wife and children to keep and obligations to other folk – how are we going to manage without a roof over our heads? Answer me that! Eh? Eh?’
The sign man had started to edge away, but as Bob grew angrier, and his language grew more colourful and his shouting grew ever louder, the poor man gave up trying to reason with him, turned tail and legged it back to his truck.
‘No you don’t!’ bawled Bob. ‘Don’t you dare go off and leave that sign there. Don’t you dare, do you hear me?’
As he proceeded to tell the man exactly where he’d like to put the sign, the terrified sign man started the engine and the truck pulled away. It quickly picked up speed but Bob was not one to give up and he gave chase, thundering down the street and threatening hell and damnation if the man didn’t clear the sign off his property immediately.
The truck soon disappeared round the corner, and Bob was left cursing and swearing in the middle of the road, with other neighbours beside Dave taking an interest by now.
Dave wisely decided the matter was not his business – that is, he wanted no active part in it, though he was blessed if he wasn’t going to find out what he could – and he slipped indoors while Bob was shaking his fist in the direction the truck had gone, and took up a good position to hear and see what happened when Bob returned to his side of the property.
First of all Bob gave the sign a good kicking, but when it didn’t budge he strode indoors with a very dark expression. Soon Dave heard a row erupting, and he decided to follow his original plan and take a cup of tea and his newspaper outside at the back, where he could hear without being seen. Cathy’s boyfriend, Ronnie, lodged with Bob and Peggy’s boisterous family as their tenant, so Dave felt it was his duty to find out as much as he could. Ronnie was a nice lad, hard-working and polite, and Dave didn’t like to think he’d be made homeless along with his feckless landlord.
Soon the accusations were flying and Bob and Peggy did not hold back.
‘What do you mean, you didn’t pay the rent? How could you not pay it? Answer me that.’
‘How could I pay it when you stole the money I’d put by and spent it in the pub?’
‘Stole? You accuse me of stealing and it was my money all along!’
‘It was for the rent, Bob.’ Peggy’s tone grew sarcastic, as if she was explaining to an idiot. ‘You know, the rent, the money we have to pay the landlord in order to keep a roof over our heads.’
‘So what? You’ve always managed to pay it before … haven’t you?’
‘You stupid man, how do you think I pay it when you keep stealing it and drinking it away? I haven’t paid the rent for weeks.’
For a moment there was silence, but Dave guessed that the argument was just getting going after that revelation. Sure enough Bob’s temper erupted once again
in a frenzy of swearing, and Peggy was giving as good as she got.
‘… And if it’s not bad enough there’ve been complaints,’ Peggy shouted. ‘Folks round here have been snitching on us to the landlord about the kids.’
‘Who?’
‘I don’t know, Bob. He’d hardly tell me, would he? Just sent a letter saying the kids were making too much noise too late at night. A warning, he said.’
‘Well, that’s your fault, that is. It’s your job to discipline the children and you’re so lazy you can’t even manage that. You’ve got no control over those kids and you’ve brought them up to be ruffians with no respect for anyone else.’
‘Who says it’s my job? You’re their father, you tell them!’
‘Tell them what, that their mother can’t keep them in order? Whenever I chastise them you complain so they take no notice of me whatsoever. Tell them that you’re a born liar who gets a letter from the landlord and doesn’t tell me – me, the man of the house – and then gets behind with the rent and doesn’t tell me that either?’
‘I’m telling you now, aren’t I?’
‘Too ruddy late now, you daft woman, when we’re about to be homeless. You created this mess, now you deal with it …’
And so it went on, each blaming the other and neither doing anything to help the situation. Their voices rose and there was a sound that Dave thought might have been a plate smashing.
‘I’ll be round there giving that landlord a piece of my mind. He can’t go throwing us out without formal notice,’ Bob yelled. ‘It’s not legal.’
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