Untitled Josephine Cox 4

by Josephine Cox

  Tony decided to stop going to that greengrocer’s altogether. It seemed better not to meet up with his daughter at all. He didn’t know her really, and to have her in his life in even a small way felt like deceit, as if he were betraying Eileen all over again, and also as if he were somehow spying on the girl. Better to try to put her right out of his mind.

  It seemed that fate was playing a hand, then, when only a couple of weeks later Tony saw the unmistakable sight of the pretty girl with his and Eileen’s friend, Beth, shopping in town.

  All his resolve about turning his back on her disappeared and the next time he saw Beth he found himself mentioning that he had noticed her shopping with a friend – a nice-looking girl with long brown hair.

  Beth smiled widely, knowing to whom Tony was referring straight away.

  ‘That’s Ronnie’s girlfriend, Cathy,’ she explained. ‘She works at a greengrocer’s. She’s been seeing Ronnie for some time now and I’m hoping they’ll settle down eventually. She’s such a lovely girl and Ronnie is absolutely mad about her. Though he’s had to head north to find work, I know he plans to come back and marry her one day.’

  ‘Cathy, eh?’ said Tony, composing his features into an expression of mild social interest. ‘Pretty name, pretty girl.’

  ‘Yes, she’s a real looker,’ said Beth. ‘Nice personality, too.’

  ‘Mmm …’ said Tony. ‘I think I might have seen her in the greengrocer’s.’ He couldn’t help it, he just had to find out more. ‘It’s not nearby here, though.’

  ‘No, the other side of town,’ Beth volunteered, ‘nearer where her parents live.’

  ‘Oh? Have you met her parents at all?’ asked Tony, pushing himself towards the brink. His heart was beating so fast he was sure Beth must be able to hear it.

  ‘Yes, although her dad’s often away. He’s a lorry driver.’

  ‘And her mum …?’ Stop it, Tony, he told himself, but he just had to find out.

  ‘Oh, Anne’s a housewife. Cathy’s gran lives with them, too. I’m particularly friendly with her. Marie, she’s called.’

  Marie. Of course. It was only what Tony had started to guess, but in a flash he saw exactly what Marie had done to cover up her pregnancy.

  He made an excuse to part quickly from Beth and walked home, his head buzzing. There was no doubt at all now that Cathy was his daughter.

  Eileen was at her bridge club when he got home so Tony had a chance to think very carefully about what he had learned for certain, and the conclusion he reached for the second time was that Eileen must never know. He owed it to that poor woman, who had forgiven him for his betrayal. In his heart, he would have loved to have had a child and it pained him that fate could be so cruel. But he owed Eileen, he had devoted everything to making up for hurting her. He would never speak a word of the secret Marie had kept all these years.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  IT WAS LATE afternoon and Cathy came home from her part-time job at the shop, kicked off her shoes, dumped her handbag on the floor and threw herself down on the sofa with a heartfelt sigh. She was feeling increasingly despondent and weary these days, but it was nothing to do with her job at the greengrocer’s, which was hardly demanding. What was bringing her down was that Ronnie seemed to have disappeared from her life. Not only had he upped and disappeared – to find a job and make his fortune, he’d said, having pledged his love for her – but now, weeks later, he still had not been in touch. She had trusted him when he whispered words of love and said he was determined to make good for her, but now doubts were beginning to creep into her mind.

  Cathy had, of course, kept the precious note Ronnie had written to her on her own parents’ kitchen table all those weeks ago. It was lodged at the top of the jewellery box her mum had given her for her tenth birthday and she’d read it so many times it was now a little grubby, the fold along the centre a deep crease, and the envelope sagging and dog-eared.

  If Ronnie could write such sweet words then, how come he hadn’t written even one single word to her since?

  Cathy thought of him all the time – literally all the time – which left little time to concentrate on anything else. Today she’d given the wrong change to a customer, who’d complained loudly and embarrassingly, and another day she’d heaped a whole lot of potatoes into the basket where the lettuces usually went, and then had them all to move, and the loose soil that had fallen off them to clean away. Often she added up the bill wrong if a customer had bought several items, and her employer had undoubtedly noticed. Cathy half feared he might be going to ‘have a little word’ shortly, but another part of her didn’t care; didn’t care for anything except that Ronnie had not got in touch.

  Anne put her head around the sitting-room door, smiling, and Cathy wondered meanly what she had to look so cheerful about.

  ‘What, no “hello” for me and your nan?’

  ‘Sorry. Hello, Mum. I’ll come and give Nan a hug in a minute. I’m just feeling a bit … Oh, Mum, if I don’t hear from Ronnie in the next few days I think I’m going to explode.’

  Anne beamed wider, stepped into the room with an exaggerated pantomime stride and – ‘Ta-dah!’ – produced a picture postcard from behind her back.

  ‘What! What!’ Cathy almost snatched the postcard out of her mother’s extended hand and turned it to the writing side to see Ronnie’s familiar spikey scrawl. She scanned the words quickly – oh, thank goodness he was okay – then read them again slowly, absorbing his news, thinking all the time that Ronnie’s hand had touched this postcard right where she was holding it now.

  ‘He says he’s fine, that he’s had a hard time finding permanent work but he’s been doing a series of seasonal jobs and he mentions the name of a pub where he’s working. It sounds as though he’s been on a right adventure. He’s moved lodgings a few times, too, so he hasn’t got a permanent address. He says he thought he’d be more settled by now, and he’s been waiting for that to get in touch. Oh, Mum, he says that he’s not asking for the moon, just a place to stay and work, in order to make money for his girl’s future. That’s why he hasn’t written before now, he wanted to tell me he’d got a real job and a place to live, and I think maybe he’s been a bit ashamed to admit otherwise. As if I mind! As if I wasn’t waiting every day to hear from him, whether he was sweeping streets or he’d become a millionaire.’

  ‘He must have a lot on his mind right now, but that doesn’t mean he’s not thinking of you. It’s a shame his sister didn’t take him in really but I get the sense there’s trouble there. But Ronnie is a sensible young man and he’s doing what he thinks is right by you both … Seeing that board up when he got home must have been a shock. Try and be patient, love. He’s been in touch the first moment he’s had a minute to breathe.’

  Anne had of course sneaked a peek at the postcard when it arrived in that morning’s post, and so she and Dave had had time to discuss it. They’d been all too aware of Cathy’s low mood and absent-mindedness these last few weeks, and had felt indignant that Ronnie had built up her hopes on his departure and then done nothing since. It seemed to them that he had rather let her down and they had been wondering if they’d been mistaken in him and he wasn’t as reliable and true to Cathy as they had thought.

  Marie, however, had kept her faith in Ronnie and had constantly tried to reassure Cathy and bolster her hopes. Marie had even guessed at the true situation, as Cathy remembered now.

  ‘Nan said it would be something like this. I knew she was right. I didn’t ever give up hope of hearing from Ronnie, Mum.’

  ‘Well, Nan can be very astute. Now, I’ll get on with making your tea and you get changed and come and set the table.’

  ‘But, Mum, I’ve got plans to make.’

  She turned the card over and studied the slightly garish photograph on the front: Blackpool, in all its glamour. It was a picture of the Promenade, the Central Pier poking out to sea in the distance, the golden sand stretching towards it, and the Tower in the foreground. The sky was blue
r than an English sky had ever been, and the sea matched it perfectly.

  ‘If I get some things together, can Dad take me to the station?’ Cathy asked. ‘I’m sure there’ll be a train to Manchester at this hour and then I can change and be in Blackpool tonight.’ She got to her feet and straightened her short skirt. ‘I’ve not a moment to lose.’

  ‘Now just hold on one minute, love,’ said Anne. ‘Think this through. You can’t just go off to Blackpool with nowhere to stay arranged, and all by yourself. It’s lovely that Ronnie’s written to you, but you can’t drop everything and go rushing off like that on the strength of one postcard.’

  ‘But, Mum—’

  ‘I won’t let you.’

  Cathy had suspected deep down that her entire family felt nervous about her feelings for Ronnie, they probably all had the same outlook that they should wait until they were somewhat older, and had saved enough money that might set them up for married life. But Cathy loved him dearly and hoped that it would be sooner rather than later that she would be his wife. And then perhaps a mother to his children.

  ‘But, Mum—’

  ‘I said no, Cathy. You cannot go to Blackpool alone.’

  ‘Ah,’ said Marie, coming in through the open door, ‘but she can go with me.’ Marie took hold of Cathy’s hand. ‘This lad is special to Cathy, so if she’s going then so am I.’

  Cathy had always known she could ask her nan everything and she’d always have the answer. They had the same temperament and could talk about anything. It made Cathy’s day that her nan would be at her side on her trip to see her Ronnie.

  But just then her father’s voice broke into her thoughts, clearly having heard the row from the hall. ‘Hang on a minute, you two, I’m not sure anyone should be haring off to Blackpool in the middle of the night! Now I know Ronnie is a decent bloke. He has a level head on his shoulders and worships the ground you walk on. And I’ll admit he’s proved himself to be a responsible young man, unlike the rest of the lot next door. And then we can help out as much as we can. We’ll have to wait and see. But I’ll not have you two getting lost in Blackpool on the strength of a bleeding postcard.’ For once Dave put his foot down, leaving Cathy and Marie speechless.

  Dave was at a loss as to how he might come to a decision that would please everyone. For the life of him, he could not see it happening. ‘The thing is, I have a bad feeling about letting the two of them go off on their own. And yes, I do realise that Cathy is sensible, and that Marie is a strong and competent woman who would protect Cathy with her life, but I have to be honest, I am not easy with the thought of the two of them taking off like that. Anyway, it’s too late now, because I imagine the trains have stopped running.’

  Anne, however, was torn in two directions. ‘I agree that travelling so late is not such a good idea. But Mum is not best pleased with either of us – and you in particular – because of your determined efforts to scupper the plans she’s made with Cathy.’

  ‘Yes, I know,’ Dave admitted. ‘But there’s no need to go racing off in a mad hurry. Surely there’s time enough for Cathy to catch up with Ronnie, without tearing off in the late hours.’

  Anne was not so sure now. ‘I don’t know about that. I have never heard her so angry and upset. And to tell you the truth, I think we may have made a mistake in trying to stop her from going. After all, she’s nearly a grown woman, and Mum is more than capable. There’s probably no need for us to be poking our noses in.’

  When Dave started to say something, Anne waved a hand to stop him. ‘No! We should never have interfered in their plans. We should have sent them off with our blessing, or better still, even travelled up there with them. We should have supported Cathy all the way – you know what she’s been like these last weeks – but we didn’t and I for one am ashamed that we let her and Mum down. You know how she frets about Cathy. And that is all I have to say in the matter!’

  Marie and Cathy were sitting on Marie’s bed while Marie continued the tirade she’d started three hours previously, in the hope that her son-in-law might see how he was being too protective in not allowing her and Cathy to make the trip, although she now feared the last train was already gone.

  ‘It’s disgraceful! Here I am, a woman in my older years, but a sensible and capable woman all the same, but do they trust me to look after my cherished Cathy? No! They do not! Instead, they forbid me to take you. Forbid me indeed! I am a sensible and very capable woman, and yet here we are – you and me, Cathy – forbidden to catch a train and go on a particular and very important mission, to track down your Ronnie and let you see him again … an errand that needs to be dealt with, sooner rather than later!’

  She ranted on with sincerity … but mainly it was play-acting for the two downstairs. ‘Neither of us will sleep a wink tonight, wondering if Ronnie is waiting for you to turn up, and you here with your heart nearly broken …’

  Marie made sure Anne and Dave would be able to hear as she rambled on for their sake, ‘I think I’ll call the station. There might still be time enough to catch a train!’

  She turned to wink mischievously at Cathy and projected her voice once more. ‘I think it’s downright shameful to realise that my daughter and her husband are not able to trust me to take care of you. I mean, I’m a grown woman, for pity’s sake!’

  She continued to rant. ‘I’ve been independent all these years, and I have had to get on with life, and yet here we are – the two of us – being treated like irresponsible, rebellious children!’

  The more she grumbled, the more het up she got. ‘I have learned over the years, to look after myself. And anyway, what’s wrong with the two of us arranging an overnight trip to Blackpool on our own? We are both sensible and capable enough to take care of ourselves, and I would have thought they might know as much, but oh no! Instead, they seem to think we’ll get lost or be set on by some rascal in a dark alley!’

  While Marie continued, Cathy was struggling not to laugh out loud. ‘You’re right, Nan,’ she answered sombrely. ‘It’s shameful, that’s what it is! Like you said, we’re not children, and we’re not irresponsible either. We are sensible people, aren’t we, Nan? We know what we’re doing, and we’re old enough to take care of ourselves. So, why can’t Mum and Dad see that?’

  Although Cathy was herself deeply disappointed, she could understand her parents being anxious for the safety of both herself and her beloved nan. And now she told Marie as much. ‘I suppose it’s because they love us, and they need to be sure that we’ll be safe.’

  ‘Well, yes, sweetheart, that’s exactly right!’ Marie was sad for Cathy, who was aching to see the young man she had decided to spend the rest of her life with. ‘I suppose I can understand their anxiety but, having said that, they should be able to trust me to keep you safe.’

  Downstairs, Anne and Dave listened, shaking their heads and smiling as they heard Marie and Cathy deliberately airing their many grievances at the tops of their voices.

  ‘If I was in Mum’s shoes I reckon I would be angry too,’ Anne quietly confessed to Dave. ‘If I was forbidden to go somewhere, when I knew I would be fully capable of handling it, hell and high water would not deter me.’

  Dave stifled a chuckle. ‘That’s because you are every bit as stubborn as your mother! To tell the truth, sweetheart, I kind of see how your mother has got herself all riled up, and she’s right in what she says,’ he confessed. ‘Both Cathy and your mother are well able to take care of themselves, and each other if need be. It was just the idea of rushing off up there with no preparation and no proper planning. But I think there may be time to make a few plans, don’t you?’

  Upstairs, Cathy and Marie were done putting on an argument for the benefit of the two listeners downstairs. ‘Right, Cathy, time for bed. In the morning, we’ll make enquiries as to when the train departs. But for now there is little we can do except leave the bags packed. Try and get a good night’s sleep.’ She slid her arm about Cathy’s shoulders.

  ‘You’re rig
ht, Nan.’ Cathy was disappointed, but still hopeful.‘Let’s see if we can sort it all out in the morning, eh?’

  The two of them were startled when a determined knock on the door halted their conversation. ‘See who it is, will you, Cathy?’ Marie had now kicked off her shoes and was on her hands and knees, searching under the bed for her slippers.

  Going to the door, Cathy called out, ‘Who’s there?’

  ‘It’s me,’ Dave answered. ‘Ask your nan if I can come in for a minute.’

  ‘Won’t it wait until tomorrow?’ Still searching on her knees for her elusive slippers, Marie deliberately put on a stern voice. ‘We were just about to turn in for the night.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry, but I need to talk to the both of you, if you wouldn’t mind?’

  ‘Hmm!’ Cathy was thinking that maybe Marie’s loud grumbling might have touched the consciences of her parents. ‘All right then, you’d best come in.’ She opened the door to let Dave in. ‘What is it, Daddy? We were just going to bed.’

  ‘That’s all right, love, because I’ll only take a minute to tell you.’

  ‘Tell us what?’ Marie got up and stepped forward.

  Dave felt decidedly uncomfortable in having doubted these two determined and confident women. ‘I’m here to say I’m sorry. We heard Marie’s grievances, and it made us realise that maybe we’re being selfish, and also a little too cautious in not wanting the two of you travelling all that way on your own and we’re sorry.’

  ‘Oh, really?’ Marie happily chipped in. ‘Well now, we are very glad to hear that, aren’t we, Cathy?’

  ‘Yes, Nan,’ Cathy agreed emphatically. ‘From the way Mum and Dad were arguing against us going, anyone would think we were incapable of travelling on our own.’