Desires, Sweets, Secrets

by Kyle Autumn

  “Well, it doesn’t matter either way,” I tell her, a flash of his fiancée playing in my mind. “She’s absolutely gorgeous and perfect and put together and she probably makes decisions really fast.”

  “Okay, first of all,” she starts, and I can picture her putting one finger in the air, “stop putting yourself down. You hear me?”

  My thumbnail goes back into my mouth. “Yeah, yeah.”

  “No, seriously, Meli. That shit needs to stop. You didn’t start doing that until—”

  “I know. I’m well aware.” And I am.

  Danny always made me feel like I was enough. No matter how poorly I did at something or when I felt like I’d lose it all. He never let me feel like anything less than perfect. On my own though… It’s not as easy to remember when I’m by myself.

  “What’s number two?” I ask her.

  “What?”

  “You said ‘first of all’ before. So, what’s second?”

  “Oh. Sorry. Your niece is now putting the cat’s tail in her mouth. I’m trying to get her to stop.” More loudly, she yells, “Seriously, Aria. You’ll hurt the cat.”

  I check on the cakes to make sure they’re cooling properly. “You aren’t worried that the cat will hurt her?”

  “I’m surprised the cat hasn’t run away yet. She’s terrified of Aria, which she should be.” She clears her throat. “Anyway, second of all, something clearly happened with you two. I’m not saying it was anything bad, but the way you’re talking about him sounds like there’s more to it than you saw your new neighbor and have the hots for him.”

  After inhaling deeply, I fill her in on the two run-ins I’ve had with him. Both times, I ended up in his arms. And, both times, I ended up liking it. So very much. The feel of his skin on mine. The strong way he held me in his arms. The comfort his warmth brought.

  The first time, I freaked out and ran. It was too much too soon, even though my sister would argue that three years is not too soon for anything. But the second time, he’s the one who pulled away first, likely remembering that his fiancée was waiting for him at home.

  “Oh god,” I tell my sister. “She could have seen us!”

  “There was nothing to see!” Cass insists. “He was trying to help you and fell. He was being a gentleman and making sure you didn’t fall on your ass.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  “Look,” she cuts me off. “I can’t tell you what to think or feel. But I can tell you that I’m glad to hear you talking like you’re one of the living again, okay?”

  “Okay,” I say, lifting my thumbnail to my mouth again.

  “Okay. Well, I need to make sure the cat is still alive. I’ll see you on Thursday, okay?”

  “Right. The interview.” I make a mental note to put that in my calendar on my phone. “Thanks, Cass.”

  “Sure. No problem.” More loudly, she shouts, “Hey! Aria! What did I say ab—”

  The conversation is over, so I end the call and silently wish her good luck with Aria. It’s horrible to think so, but my sister’s troubles with my niece make me thankful I don’t have my own kids. Maybe someday, but probably not. Danny and I wanted them. I’m not sure I could want them with someone else.

  After I put the phone back in the cradle, I check the frosting. Everything looks good, so now, I just wait to get Mrs. Robins’s cake ready. In the meantime, I can prepare some of the make-ahead products we sell. And hope a customer comes in to buy some of the stuff Danielle and I baked earlier.

  And, well, try not to fantasize about my hot and highly unavailable neighbor.

  ∞∞∞

  Jeremy

  By Wednesday, my grandpa’s stuff has been packed up and my parents are gone. While I don’t mind that so much—freedom is nice, after all—I do miss having my sister around during the day. She’s my voice of reason, the one keeping me from fucking everything up with my neighbor. But that’s not entirely true, because if it were, I would have gone over to her house and fucked things up already. Instead, I’ve been good all on my own.

  Dani, Matt, and Cadence have a routine now. In the morning, Dani goes with Amelia to work. In the afternoon, Cadence picks Dani up and brings her to their house. After dinner, Matt brings her back here so Amelia can take her to work again the next day. It seems to work for them, which is good.

  As for me? I’m lonely as fuck.

  I’m asleep when Dani gets home, and I’m out the door before she’s even up. Sure, I’ve met a lot of guys at work, but they’re not my family. And I almost wish I’d have asked Matt if I could stay there too. But my grandpa left this house to me when he died, and I intend to be the adult everyone hopes I’ll be. Including me.

  Speaking of my grandpa. It seems like I’ve started channeling “old man” behavior from living in this house. Eating dinner early as hell. Going to bed early as hell. Even sitting outside on the porch just for fun, like I am right now. I don’t have much energy left after work and no one to hang out with, so I just sit. Breathe. Observe.

  Dr. Setts would be proud. Or worried about how much time I spend alone. Either one.

  Because Dani’s not here to stop me, I nearly go knock on Meli’s door just to have something to do with my time. It wouldn’t have to be more than talking. I want more, but I can’t go there. Not yet. Right now, I just want to pass the time with another living soul.

  But I don’t. I do, however, notice that she must not have mowed her lawn yet. Her grass is at least as tall as it was when I broke the damn thing. So either she hasn’t fixed the mower or she hasn’t had time. And neither one of those sits well with me.

  She shouldn’t have to fix it when I’m the one who broke it. And not having time means she’s too busy to do the things that need to be done. I hardly ever see her at home, but I’m also keeping strange hours these days. I wonder if the bakery keeps her busier than she’d like.

  Though she didn’t want me to fix her mower, she never said anything about not wanting me to mow her yard for her with the one my grandpa has in the garage. I have to do my own anyway, seeing as that’s something I have to do now. So I head out to the garage and see if I can get my own mower to start.

  Three pulls and the motor comes to life. Voila.

  Twenty minutes and a lot of sweat later, I’m mostly done with both of our front lawns when Meli pulls into her driveway. Mine’s finished, but I have a few more up-and-downs to do on hers. Once she’s out of her car, though, she doesn’t look like she wants me to keep going. With her hands on her hips, she shouts something I can’t hear over the roar of the lawn mower’s motor. I show her one finger to ask for a moment so I can finish the row I’m working on. As soon as I let the bar on the mower go to cut the motor off, she folds her arms over her chest.

  “What are you doing?” she asks, her purse hanging from one shoulder.

  I narrow my eyes at her and then wipe the sweat on my brow with the sleeve of my shirt. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

  “It looks like you’re mowing my lawn,” she says, stating the obvious. “But that doesn’t look like my lawn mower.”

  “Good observations,” I joke with her, cracking a grin. “Any astute guesses as to whose it is?”

  “Very funny.” She hits the button on her key fob to lock her car. “You can stop now though. I can finish that.”

  I start to approach her. “Is that so?” I ask, stopping a few feet away from her.

  With a confident set to her jaw, she says, “Mmhm.”

  “With your broken lawn mower?” I point out. “Or are you going to ask me to borrow mine?”

  The confidence disappears and irritation sets in to her expression, which makes her look like she hadn’t thought about that part. “Why are you doing that anyway?” She throws her hands back onto her hips again.

  I gesture to her grass. “I noticed that it hasn’t been cut since the day you were trying to cut it.” Then I point to my own lawn. “And mine needed to be done too, so I thought I’d kill two birds with one ston
e. Be a kind neighbor. All that.”

  Meli inhales a breath, her chest slowly rising. “Well, you didn’t have to do that. I’ll pay you for your time if you—”

  I wave my hands in the air. “No, no, no. I just said I was doing it because it needed to be done, not because I wanted something from you.” Even though I wouldn’t pass up taking whatever she’ll give me—in the form of her body, not her money.

  This time, she exhales deeply. “I can’t owe you a favor.”

  “And I never said you owed me one,” I reply, stepping closer to her.

  Her throat works as she swallows. Then she opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out and she closes it.

  So I speak to put her worries at ease. “Consider it repayment for the muffins I didn’t get nearly enough of.”

  A mix of emotion flashes in her eyes: relief, concern, pride. “Oh?” is all she says though.

  “Yeah,” I confirm. “Dani claimed most of them for herself, and I had to share the rest with my parents.”

  Her face breaks into a small smile. “When I was making them, I had no idea I wasn’t baking enough.” Then her brow furrows. “Which usually doesn’t happen to me.”

  “I’ve been waiting for Dani to bring some more home ever since the first taste,” I admit, wishing I were talking about more than just muffins. “You might have an addict on your hands.”

  “Really?” she asks, looking genuinely shocked. “You want more of my muffins?”

  I take another step closer, only a foot away from her now. “Who wouldn’t?”

  She stares up at me, appearing like she’d prefer to run away even though she’s clearly trying to hide it. In the end, she stays put, a shiver running down her spine. Though she tried to hide it, I noticed. Of course I noticed a shiver that indicates the truth: She’s been feeling what I’ve been feeling—desire, lust, want.

  She’s just as attracted to me as I am to her. We’ve both been hiding it, but oh, it’s there. From both of us. And that triggers something I’ve been suppressing since the moment I laid eyes on her—and sniffed her hair like a creep.

  After closing that foot of space between us, I kiss her.

  Under my touch, she melts, a quiet moan leaving her throat. That turns me on even more, so I reach up to cup her cheeks and deepen the kiss. When I silently ask for permission, she opens for me and allows my tongue to slide into her mouth.

  In return, she caresses mine with hers, and we tangle them as I slip my hands into her hair, over her shoulders, and down her back. She rises up onto her tiptoes to get closer, and her arms go around my back. Then her fingernails dig in so hard that I can feel the bite even over my shirt, which urges me on.

  My fingers inch lower, to the small of her back, pressing her even closer to me, and then—

  She springs away from me the moment I almost reach her ass with my hands.

  Her hand flies to her mouth as she stares at me, her eyes wide and flashing from shocked to angry to…sad? I have no idea what made her rip herself from my arms like that, but it also has her running through the gamut of emotions. I wish she’d speak to me, tell me what has her so upset so I can fix it and never do it again. Seeing her like this wrenches at my heart, and I don’t ever want to be the cause of it. All I want to do is make it better.

  But, instead of telling me, she runs into her house, away from me. Like we’re both so in the habit of doing.

  However, if my heart has anything to say about it, it’s a habit we’ll be breaking.

  Soon.

  Chapter 5

  Amelia

  I nearly miss hearing my alarm thanks to not getting to sleep until two a.m. Even after that, I tossed and turned. But duty calls, so I can’t possibly hit the snooze button again. Danielle will be here, wondering where I am if I don’t get out of bed now.

  But the last thing in the world I want to do is face her. Not when I kissed her engaged brother. Oh god.

  She could have seen us. The thought of it while I throw some clothes on for the day tugs at my heart and makes my stomach go sour. No need for breakfast this morning—that’s for sure. I don’t think I’ll be able to hold it down.

  When my sister said that I needed to move on, this is not what she meant.

  Oh no. What would my sister say? I’m sure his sister would be pissed, but mine? I can’t tell her. I can’t tell anyone. I’ll just suffer in silence. Yep. That’s what I’ll do.

  Once I’ve semi-fixed my hair into a messy bun on the top of my head, I grab my keys and head out to my car. I didn’t bring my dry cleaning in yesterday—someone distracted me—so I do that now before Danielle comes by. But, when I open the passenger’s-side back door of my car, another car door opens at the same time and stops me in my tracks.

  The tingle down my spine tells me exactly who’s behind me.

  “Good morning,” he says to my back.

  I unfreeze myself and bend to snag the hangers from the hook in the back seat. Then I toss, “Good morning,” over my shoulder as casually as I can.

  “That it is.” His voice drips with a deep sexiness that shouldn’t come from an engaged man.

  So I spin around, gripping my dry cleaning to my body. “You know, you really shouldn’t talk to me like that. Or any other woman, for that matter.” I bump my car door closed with my behind and intend to march back into my home to finish getting ready.

  But, again, he stops me right where I am. “Are you offended that I appreciate the form of your body?”

  Damn that traitorous shiver that deliciously runs through my body. Very visibly.

  “That’s not it at all,” I manage to grit out between clenched teeth. Then I take a breath. “It’s just that—”

  “Hey!” Danielle comes bounding out of the house, dressed and ready for work. “Shouldn’t you be gone already?” she asks her brother.

  “Yep,” he confirms to her. “I couldn’t sleep well last night, so I let the guys know I’d be late.” Then he looks at me. “Someone was running through my head too much. I’m sure she’s exhausted today too.” He punctuates his words with a wink in my direction, one Danielle can’t see.

  Danielle slaps his arm. “God. Can you ever grow up?” She rolls her eyes as she passes him to come to my driveway, pulling her phone out of her back pocket.

  “What’s the fun in that?” He rubs his arm and laughs at her back before pinning me with his sexy, smoldering melted-chocolate stare. “I’ll see you later,” he promises me.

  But Danielle answers. “Oh, you’re coming to get me today instead of Cadence?”

  “Yep.” The word is for her, but he’s still looking at me. “What time should I be there?”

  I want to tell him, Never. Don’t come to the bakery. I’ll just bring Danielle home. But she probably doesn’t want to stay that late. And, well, I should be a grownup who can see a man when he picks his sister up and doesn’t go crazy about it. A grownup who can see an engaged man and not wish he weren’t in love with someone else.

  Because of course her name is something prim and proper and perfect like Cadence. Jesus.

  “She usually comes to get me around noon,” Danielle tells him. “So that would be good. That okay, Amelia?”

  The sound of my name snaps me out of my crazy thought train. I jerk my head in Danielle’s direction and nod, thinking I should wipe my mouth to check for drool. I shouldn’t have been staring at him while thinking about how I can’t have him. Bad, bad idea.

  “Sure, yeah, that’s fine,” tumbles out of my mouth as I nod vigorously. “Mmhm.” I nod to him too for good measure.

  His quiet laughter lets me know he’s totally tuned in to what just happened, which makes me want to run inside my house never to come out again. But that’s been our pattern. And our pattern is clearly not working. I need to break that once and for all. So I hold my dry cleaning tighter, root myself to my spot, and beg my feet not to betray me.

  It’s not that hard when I think about how nice he is to look at. How his
sleep-mussed hair would feel when I run my fingers through it. How hard the planes of his chest would be under my fingertips. How incredible it’d be to wake up next to him in the morning after a night of sweaty, passionate—

  “Okay, cool,” Danielle says, yet again ripping me from my thoughts. “Ready to go?” she asks me while still gazing intently at her phone.

  “Uh huh,” I somehow hum out, my open mouth not even moving. Get it together, Amelia. For heaven’s sake. “I’ll, uh, just be right back.” I hold the dry cleaning bags up, and she nods.

  Her brother, though, follows me to my front door. “Here. Let me get that for you.”

  Ah, the gentleman. To all women, apparently—even if he has a fiancée. Named Cadence. With a cute nose and perfect clothes.

  I can’t let him do that to her. And I can’t possibly be that attracted to a man who thinks so little of his current relationship that he’d kiss me and hold the door for me. So I tell him, “You should really stop doing things like this. No more holding the door, no more mowing my lawn, no more…” But I lose my nerve before I can tell him to stop kissing me.

  Because, really, that’s the one thing he could do again that I’d enjoy the most. And I shouldn’t. Not at all. One of us needs to respect the bounds of his engagement, and if it won’t be him, then it should be me.

  I flick my gaze to Danielle, who’s still engrossed in her phone. “Be a better example to your sister, okay?”

  He looks at her too and a knowing expression takes his face over. I don’t know what that means, but in an instant, he lets the door go and backs away a few steps. His whole demeanor shuts down, his shoulders slumping forward before they straighten again. Maybe he’s finally realizing the error of his ways.

  “You’re right. Have a good day,” he tells me. Then he briskly walks to his car, waves to his sister, and drives off to work.

  Which shouldn’t make me feel like I’ve lost something I never had.

  But it does.