Londyn Falls

by Jennifer Domenico

  STARING AT MY BEDROOM CEILING, I realize that I haven’t stopped thinking about Londyn. That moment in my study caused a shift in me and it was with renewed eyes that I saw her. Truly saw her. There is just something that gets to me. When I told her she was beautiful, I meant it. It’s not just her charming nature or her delicate features. It isn’t her alabaster skin and perfectly pink lips. It isn’t even her mesmerizing eyes that see right to my core. It’s her everything. It’s the way she talks to me, the way she smiles, the way she laughs. It’s that adorable accent and the way she lifts her eyebrow at me when she’s about to say something clever. It’s the way she chews that bottom lip of hers and brushes her hair from her face when she’s working. It’s the way she understands me.

  I roll to my side and try to erase the image of her from my mind. If I’m not careful, I could fall for this girl. Would that be such a bad thing? For the first time in a long time, I’m not sure.

  LYING IN BED, I stare at my ceiling and think of Luca. I’m still floating on a cloud after last night’s interaction. As each day passes, I feel like I learn just a little more about him. He allows a bit of his personality to show more and more. I climb out of bed and begin to prepare for my day.

  Standing in my closet, I stare at the dismal clothing options before me. For the first time in possibly forever, I want to look pretty today. I want to live up to the professor’s compliment. I give up and do something I have never done. I walk into Madeleine’s closet.

  She’s still asleep so I creep in quietly and sort through her things, looking for something that might suit me. I pull out a black dress of hers I’ve always fancied and slip it over my head. It’s knee length and form fitting with a V-neckline. My cleavage just peeks out from the top. Looking in the full length mirror I admit to myself that it looks nice. It’s much tighter than I am used to, but not too tight. It’s actually possible to see my figure. A cardigan over it should class it up a bit. I look down at her shoe collection and slide my feet into some red kitten heels. I sneak out of her room and back to my bedroom. I decide to go all out and flat iron my hair the way Maddie showed me. Finally, I add some lip gloss and perfume. I barely recognize my reflection. The girl staring back at me is…pretty.

  I gather my things and start my walk to the train station. As I’m walking, two men pass me and one of them looks back, smiling, and says, “Morning, gorgeous.”

  I look around for a moment before I realize he is addressing me. I’m utterly gobsmacked. I respond with a smile and head down to catch the train. Once in my seat, I pull out my boodle to mark this momentous occasion. I, Londyn Harper, was officially catcalled. I giggle and put my things away.

  “Good morning, Professor,” I say as I enter the office. Luca looks up at me and his eyes open wide. A smile slides across his lips and I do my best to act like nothing is different.

  “Good morning. You look…” he pauses and stands, “Lovely. Special occasion?”

  I try to fight back the grin threatening to cross my lips, but I am unsuccessful. The expression on his face is just as I hoped for.

  “Not at all.”

  “Well, then, lucky me,” he says, sitting down again as I do.

  I look up and cock my head at him. He looks absolutely dashing today with his unshaven face and stylish hair. He has his glasses on, which sends me over the moon. The blue dress shirt he wears compliments his sultry olive toned skin. As I take in every detail of his striking face, I realize his eyes haven’t left me. When our eyes meet, instead of looking away, I return his gaze and smile. Bloody hell, this man is beautiful.

  “Do you have lunch plans today?” Luca asks softly.

  “No.”

  “Would you like some? I have a luncheon at the library today. You would probably enjoy the topic and I could use the company.”

  “I would be honored.”

  “Good.”

  I do my best to focus on my work even though I’d rather run through Harvard Square screaming with joy at the top of my lungs.

  “May I say something, Professor?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “You should keep the facial hair.”

  He rubs the scruff on his face. “Should I?”

  “Yes. It’s very…” My mind searches for appropriate words. Alluring. Sexy. Scrumptious. I settle for this one. “Handsome.”

  “Well, thank you. I think it makes me look older.”

  “In a good way, yes.” Oh, what I wouldn’t give to rub my fingers over it and feel the scratchy texture against my skin. The thought causes my body to warm.

  Luca grins and looks back at his computer. So many thoughts are running through my mind right now. I wonder what he is thinking about, too.

  I know I should stop crushing on him. When he compliments me, he’s just being nice and I know it, but still, it’s so very nice to hear. Especially from a man who looks like Luca.

  If only I had a chance with him. Sighing, I open the email program and get to work.

  The hours pass until it is finally, thankfully, time for lunch.

  “Are you ready for lunch, Londyn?”

  Looking up at Luca, I smile and lock my computer. “I am. Do I need to bring anything?”

  “No. We have a speaker today on the importance of preserving the written word and instilling a love of reading in younger generations. I know that I am concerned about the shift towards digital media. Every time I go to the library, it seems there are less and less students in it. They can access so much online these days.”

  “True. It is nice to have knowledge at your fingertips, but there is nothing like cracking open a book. Not to mention that libraries are close to being my favorite place in the world.”

  Luca steps a bit closer to me. “I knew you would enjoy this topic.” We start our walk outside and across the campus grounds to get to our location. I am thankful he didn’t ask me what my most favorite place in the world was. I would have struggled not to tell him it’s any room he’s in.

  As we enter the library, a group of people who all look very smart are gathering in one area. We walk in that direction and I spot Professor Lance. Luca heads straight to her and chats, as I stand idly in the background, soaking in my environment. Suddenly, he takes my wrist in his hand and pulls me gently towards him. The tiny gesture sends chills through me.

  “Londyn, I’m so glad you could join us,” Professor Lance says. “I think you’ll really enjoy it. Luca says you are quite the book lover.”

  “Yes, that’s true. I’m happy to be here, thank you.”

  “Shall we go inside?” Luca asks.

  The doors open to the room where the presentation will be and we all head inside to find our seats. I sit to Luca’s left and Professor Lance sits on his right. As everyone chitchats, I realize that I am the only non-faculty member at the luncheon and feel a bit self-conscious. Shifting nervously in my chair, I try not to draw attention to myself. Professor Lance leans across Luca and whispers to me.

  “You look very nice today, Londyn.” She smiles and winks at me.

  “Thank you.” I don’t know what else to say. Luca is looking around the room then, spotting a colleague, he excuses himself from the table.

  “I’ll be right back, Londyn.”

  Professor Lance moves to Luca’s seat. “I’m so excited for you and Luca.”

  “Um, why is that?”

  “The fact that he invited you here means a lot. He thinks the world of you. He told me you are possibly the smartest woman he has ever met.”

  “That’s very kind of him to say.”

  “Yes, it is, but Luca doesn’t say things just to be kind. He says what he means. I’m excited for you both because it means your relationship is working out. He has finally found someone he can work well with and trust. He is so proud to have you as his assistant.”

  I can feel my cheeks blushing as she speaks. Professor Lance rubs my hand sweetly. “As a friend, it’s been difficult to see Luca struggle so much. I know he can be domine
ering at times, but you seem to understand him and have the patience required to deal with him.” She laughs softly. “Anyway, I just thought I should tell you how he feels about you. I don’t know how open he is with his feelings.”

  Neither do I. “Thank you. I want to do a good job for him.”

  “You do that. I hope you’ll be around forever.”

  “As do I.”

  “What are you two whispering about over here?” Luca asks as he returns to the table.

  Professor Lance moves back to her seat, grinning. “Women things, right, Londyn?”

  “Yes,” I say, returning her smile. “Women things.”

  “Hmm,” Luca says, sitting down. “Something I would know nothing about then.” He leans close and whispers in my ear. “Maybe you could teach me a thing or two.”

  I say nothing because I can’t. His soft, gentle tone has got me all tongue tied. What I wouldn’t give to have a private lesson with Professor Hottie.

  A large man wearing a too tight suit in an unfortunate shade of brown makes his way to the podium. He’s done that thing with his hair where it’s brushed in the wrong direction to cover the rather prominent bald spot gracing the top of his head. He’s breathing a bit hard and I worry the short walk from his seat to the front may have been too much for the poor man. He smiles and looks out over the crowd.

  “Good day, everyone. As many of you know, my name is Harold Collins, the director of literary science here at the library. I’m ecstatic to introduce our speakers today, Lily Macintosh and Josh Braxton.”

  The room fills with applause as two people approach the front. I am happy to see that the speakers are rather young and can possibly connect with the generation they are targeting. I sit back and listen to the presentation as our lunch is quietly delivered.

  About halfway through, Luca leans over to me, whispering again. “Are you enjoying it so far?”

  “Yes, I am. Thank you for inviting me.”

  “My pleasure.”

  The presentation is nearing completion as the coffee and tea are delivered to the tables. After taking a sip of my tea, I fold my hands in my lap, attentively listening to our speakers wrap up. I look over at Luca, who looks back at me and smiles warmly. Under the table, his hand finds mine and he gives it a slight squeeze. He doesn’t look at me as he does this and I’m glad since I am about to jump straight out of my skin. Luca releases my hand and I begin to breathe again. I don’t know that such a simple gesture has ever moved me so much.

  We stand and clap for our presenters and everyone begins to mingle. I start to move away from the group, since they are all engaging in professor speak, and admire the art on the walls nearby.

  “I hope that wasn’t the most boring hour of your life?” Luca’s voice comes from behind me.

  I turn around and smile. “Not at all. It was really very good.”

  “I agree.” Luca looks over his shoulder and then turns back to me. “Want to go for a walk?”

  “Um, sure.”

  We walk outside and meander through the courtyard, both of us quiet. I can tell something is on his mind, but I don’t know what.

  “Is everything alright, Professor?”

  “Yes. Perfect.”

  “Good.”

  We walk some more and Luca starts to tell me the history of the various buildings we pass. I love looking at the architecture of these old structures and imagining all the stories they would tell if they could speak.

  “I must be boring you,” Luca says, suddenly.

  “Oh goodness, not at all. I am enjoying my historic tour of Harvard.” I giggle.

  “I thought you might. You are so different from many women, especially the ones your age.”

  “I know this to be true. I’ve never fit in with my peers much. Madeleine and I are polar opposites, but we’ve been mates for so long, it doesn’t matter.”

  “Do you date?” he asks out of nowhere.

  “Sometimes. Not recently.”

  “Why not?”

  “I haven’t met anyone.” I tried to date Nico but, well, we all know what happened there. “I had a boyfriend for about nine months, but we broke up a few months back.”

  “May I ask why?”

  “You’d have to ask him that. He didn’t give me a lot of information. Just said he didn’t think we had a spark.”

  “What a jerk.”

  “Yeah, he was. He was right, though. Nothing in common. No spark. Just something to do for a bit.”

  “You deserve better.”

  “Thank you.”

  “No one since him?”

  “No.”

  “Do you want a relationship?” I look up at him, wondering where this line of questioning is going. “I mean, I guess what I am asking is…”

  “Yes, Professor?”

  “Some people don’t want a relationship and don’t want to find love. Some people prefer solitude over opening themselves up.”

  “Is that how you feel?”

  “I have felt that way before.”

  “And now?”

  “I don’t know.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “Don’t turn the question on me. I asked you first.” He grins.

  “I want to find love very much. I want to share my life with someone. I think it would be absolutely wonderful to find someone who shares my interests.”

  “Yes, I suppose that could be nice.”

  “Companionship of friends is good, but romantic companionship is something entirely different.”

  “Are you ever scared to fall in love, Londyn?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve never been in danger of it. I would welcome it if it came to me.” I nudge his arm gently. “Are you afraid to fall in love?”

  Luca cocks his head at me, but says nothing as we start to walk back to Boylston Hall. All this talk of love and relationships is surprising. I am happy, though, that he is opening up more and sharing his thoughts with me. He hasn’t answered me and I wonder if he is going to. I won’t push, though.

  Back in the office, we both take our spots. I start the task of answering his emails and listening to voice messages left for him whilst we were gone.

  “Yes, I am,” Luca says.

  I stop what I am doing and gaze in his direction. He isn’t looking at me, but staring off into space. I stand and walk towards him, somehow wanting to comfort him, but not wanting to overstep my bounds. I place my hand on his shoulder and rub softly. He looks up at me with the eyes of a frightened child.

  “It’s okay to be afraid,” I say. “Perhaps you’ll meet someone someday who makes you feel brave.”

  “Yes, perhaps.”

  “Anyone that you want to fall in love with is lucky and she’ll be patient with you. If she’s the right girl.”

  Luca takes my hand from his shoulder and holds it in his, gazing into my eyes. “What is it about you that makes it so easy for me to open up? How do you get me to talk like you do?”

  “I…um…” My words have left me all of a sudden.

  Luca grins. “Did you slip some truth serum into my coffee at lunch?”

  “I’m afraid I don’t have any of that.”

  “Well then, you must just be special. I feel like I can tell you anything and you wouldn’t judge me.”

  “I won’t.”

  Luca smiles again and then, realizing he is still holding my hand, releases it. I walk back to my desk slowly, reeling from the intensity of that interaction. The phone rings, startling both of us. I quickly answer.

  “Professor Di Roma’s office.”

  “Hello, is the professor in? This is Professor Jacobs.”

  “One moment, please.” I look up at Luca. “Professor Jacobs for you.”

  “Thank you.”

  Luca takes the call as I go back to my tasks. As much as I enjoy being in the professor’s company, I want to get the bloody hell out of here right now. I want to tell Maddie everything. The end of the day can’t come soon enough.

  I’VE LOST MY MIND.
Either that, or Londyn is performing some sort of voodoo on me. She is getting under my skin and I am losing control. I can’t believe I asked her if she was afraid to fall in love and furthermore, told her that I was! I let her go home early today and she seemed eager to do so. I wonder if I’ve frightened her. She was pleasant, though. As always. I just needed her to get away from me. Her presence was wearing down my protective armor. I was on the edge of asking her if she would be patient with me. Would she help me be brave? Fuck.

  A knock at my door gets my attention and Angela walks in.

  “Mind if I come in?” she asks.

  “Not at all.”

  She sits in the chair in front of me and crosses her legs. “What’s going on with you, Luca?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You and Londyn.”

  “I don’t know what you’re asking.”

  “Okay. I’ve known you for years and I have never seen you look at a woman the way you look at her. Is there something going on between the two of you?”

  “Heavens, no. She is my assistant. Our relationship is purely professional.”

  “Something in your eyes suggests that you want it to be more than that.” She leans over the desk. “You can talk to me, Luca.”

  I sigh. I don’t know that I am ready to articulate my feelings for Londyn. I can’t even make sense of them yet.

  “I won’t deny that I am fond of her. Her work is beyond my expectations and she suits me very well. I admire her intelligence and her wit. Other than that, there is nothing else to share.”

  Angela narrows her eyes at me. “I am fifty-four years old, Luca. I have a lot of experience in life. I know the difference between professional and personal interest.”

  “What do you want me to say, Angela? I am not dating my assistant nor am I in any sort of personal relationship with her at all.”

  “Okay, let me just say this as a friend and a woman. Can you hear me out?”

  “Yes.”

  “Love doesn’t come easily. Opportunities for it are fleeting. When the right person appears, don’t hesitate to accept it. Maybe you aren’t there yet. Maybe you aren’t sure she is the right one. Perhaps you need more time to get to know her and to lower your guard.” She pushes her glasses on top of her head. “In my observation, she calms you. I’ve never seen you smile as much as I have in the weeks since she has been here. I don’t know what in your past broke your heart, but I’ve always known it was. Perhaps Londyn is the one who can heal it.”