Londyn Falls

by Jennifer Domenico

  “Did I embarrass you?” she asks.

  “No, not at all. I was just…Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Your first appointment will be here in ten minutes.”

  “Very well.”

  “What would you like me to do whilst you are meeting with them?”

  “Would you be up for some research? I have a list of a few books I would like from the library.”

  “I would love to.” Londyn rises from her seat and walks over to me.

  Handing her the list, my hand brushes up against hers and she pauses, her eyes lingering on mine. From the look in her eyes right now, I’m positive I could tell her everything and she would understand. Taking hold of her hand, I pull her slightly closer and watch as her eyes widen. Her chest rises and falls from her quickened breathing.

  “Londyn,” I whisper.

  “Yes, Professor?”

  “I have been alone for a long time and I have a very good reason for it. I have trouble with opening my heart up to people, but for some reason, I feel differently with you. I feel…”

  A knock at my door interrupts my words and I sigh. Londyn’s eyes shift to the door and an expression of disappointment settles over her pretty features. I release her hand and smile apologetically.

  “Some other time?” I say.

  “Anytime.”

  She moves away from me and as she does a part of me goes with her. Opening the door, she greets the early student. She takes the list, excusing herself and I have a moment to collect my thoughts and focus on the student before me. I don’t know what words were going to come out of my mouth, but I knew I was going to tell her what she’s doing to me.

  With each interaction, I start to shed my armor. With every smile, my heart opens a little more. With every tiny touch, I begin to live again. I don’t know how, but her very presence is changing me from within. It’s all at once thrilling and terrifying.

  I AM ABSOLUTELY DYING to know what Luca was about to tell me. That darn student had to show up early. Whatever it was, I have a feeling it was going to be major. I make him feel like opening his heart? It’s unbelievable I could have an effect on him like that. I’m utterly blown away.

  I walk through the courtyard on my way to the university library. Honestly, I’m surprised I can put one foot in front of the other. I’m a jumbled mess of emotions. One thing is for sure. If Luca is willing to tell me how he feels then I need to be prepared to do the same thing.

  As I walk, I see my brother strolling slowly down a path, intently reading a paper he holds.

  “Devon!” I call out.

  He looks up and smiles, walking towards me. “Londyn! How are you?”

  I give him a hug. “Good. What are you doing?”

  “Reading. I needed a bit of fresh air. You?”

  “Library. Research for Luc- the professor.”

  “Ah, all is going well with him then?”

  “Very well.”

  “It’s the talk of the faculty lounge. Beauty and the Beast they call it.”

  “What?” I ask, laughing.

  “Oh yes, the fair maiden who swept in and tamed the surly beast. Quite impressive, my dear.”

  “That’s silly. He is hardly a surly beast.”

  “He used to be. Always walked around with a sour face, barely greeting anyone. All business all the time. These days, he’s been downright warm. Jovial and laughing. It’s shocking, really.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yes. Everyone thinks it must be because of you. I’m glad he’s being nice to you.”

  “Very. We get along fine.”

  “Good. I didn’t want to have to hate the chap.”

  “That won’t be necessary at all.” I laugh. “Well, I should get to the library. I have a hefty list here to collect.”

  “Okay.” Devon leans in and kisses my cheek. “Lunch soon?”

  “You tell me, Mr. Research Doctor.”

  “Yes, I need a break. I’ll ring you soon.”

  “Perfect. Bye, Dev.”

  “Bye.”

  I walk on, enjoying the perfect weather. So I tamed the beast, did I? Who would have thought I was capable of that? Certainly not me.

  It takes me nearly two hours to gather all the books Luca wanted. Mostly because I keep getting distracted by other books that catch my eye. I check my list one more time and realize there is one book I didn’t get. I walk down the aisle I believe it to be on and start searching. Setting the books down next to me, I run my finger across the titles, hoping the one I need is here.

  Leaning against the wall beside me, I close my eyes for just a moment, thinking back on what Luca planned to say to me. In my mind, I can see his smile, his eyes that warm when he looks at me now, the way he runs his fingers through his hair when he speaks.

  Before long, I feel strong hands on my shoulders, and then sliding down my back. I won’t move. I can’t. I know it’s Luca. His breath warms my neck and I can smell his cologne. My breath catches as the scruff on his face brushes against my cheek. His arms wrap around my waist and pull me into him, pressing his arousal against my thigh. A soft moan escapes my lips. This is the moment I’ve waited for. I desperately want to feel his lips on mine. I couldn’t care less we are in the middle of the library. His hands move up and cup my breasts through my dress. I grind my hips into him, letting him know I want him very much. My dress inches up as his fingers dig softly into the flesh of my thighs and then…

  “Londyn…” he whispers in my ear.

  “Hmm?”

  “Londyn?” The loud sound of Luca’s voice startles me and I open my eyes. “Are you alright?” he asks.

  I look over at him standing nearby. My eyes shift around the room as I realize what is happening. Once again, it was just my imagination.

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Did you fall asleep?”

  “Not at all. I was just lost in thought. What are you doing here?”

  “You were gone so long I came looking for you. I had to make sure my best girl was okay.” He grins and I nearly faint.

  “I’m fine. I was just enjoying my time here.” I look down and I am holding the last book I needed in my hand. “I have everything you need.”

  “Good. Here, let me carry them.” He takes the book and picks up the remaining ones.

  “Thank you.”

  We walk towards the door with just a quick stop at the checkout counter. Heading back to the office, I can’t believe I was imagining such things. My body is still reeling from my fantasized contact with Luca.

  “I think my suspicion about you is officially confirmed,” Luca says as we walk.

  “And that is?”

  “You are a daydreamer. Which makes me all the more curious to see what makes it into that journal of yours.”

  “Maybe it’s boring.”

  “I doubt it. Nothing about you is.”

  I don’t know how to respond. I’m still trying to erase my mind of the desire I feel. Just the thought of him touching me is almost enough. If he ever actually does, I might simply combust.

  “Have you always been a dreamer?” he asks.

  “Yes. Sometimes the imagined world is far more exciting than the real one.”

  “That is very true.”

  “Unfortunately.”

  Luca opens the door to the building and we walk upstairs. “We should change that.”

  “How’s that?”

  “We should make real life more exciting than anything we could imagine. Everyone should.”

  “Agreed, but not everything we dream is possible.”

  “Isn’t it?

  “I don’t know. I suppose it depends on the dream.”

  “No one said I could be a department head at my age, but I am.”

  “Is that a dream or just a result of hard work and being ridiculously intelligent?”

  “I didn’t expect you to be such a skeptic,” Luca says, with a teasing tone in his voice.

  “I don’t think I
am. It’s just that…”

  “What?”

  Inside the office, I go to my corner and sit down, as Luca sets the books on his desk.

  “In my experience, dreams are just that. They don’t come true.”

  “So we are back at our earlier discussion about destiny. Maybe your dreams are not defined well enough. How would you know if it came true if you don’t even know what it is?”

  “You’re always asking me about my dreams. What are yours?” I challenge.

  “I don’t dream. I used to, but I stopped.”

  A twinge of sadness comes through in his voice. I’ve come to expect it whenever he talks about his private life.

  “Why, Luca? Why are you so sad? What happened to you?”

  He looks up at me with those eyes that make my body heat. He is the only man that I ever felt was looking at me and really saw me for who I am completely.

  “It’s a long story.”

  “I have all the time in the world. I told you earlier I would listen to you whenever you wanted to talk to me.”

  ‘”I know. It’s wonderful to hear.” Luca sits in his chair and gazes out into the courtyard.

  Will he ever tell me what haunts him? Before my trip to the library earlier, he was just in the midst of telling me something. Perhaps he is ready to talk.

  “Luca?”

  “Come over tonight.” He swings around in his chair and meets my gaze. “Please.”

  “Sure.”

  “Thank you.” His features soften and a smile appears on his lips. “We’ll talk more then.”

  “Okay.” I can’t put my finger on the emotion running through me right now. Is it excitement? Anxiety? Desire? Perhaps it’s all those things in one. One emotion I can name is impatience. Five o’clock cannot come soon enough.

  The time has finally come and I find myself excited as we make the familiar walk towards Luca’s home. He was quiet the rest of the afternoon and I wonder what is on his mind. His invitation to me was clearly impulsive, but he never retracted it. He opens his front door and stands to the side to let me in.

  “I can order dinner in tonight. Do you like Chinese?” Luca asks.

  “I do.”

  “Great. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be in after I order.”

  “Sounds good.”

  I head into the study and set my things down. Across the hall, the door to his bedroom is open and I can see inside. There is nothing I want more in this moment than to be invited in there.

  “Londyn?” Luca calls from the hallway. I peek my head out of the study door. “I’ll be right back. Just running out to grab the mail.”

  “No problem.”

  I hear Luca leave and immediately sneak into his room. Once inside I open his closet. It’s neatly lined with dress shirts and trousers and smells just as manly and sexy as he does. I reach out and run my fingers over the shirt closest to me. Turning around, I sit on the edge of his bed, and for just a moment lie down to feel the luxurious linens around me. I decide I had better get out of here before he comes back. How would I explain being caught lying on his bed?

  I hurry back to the study and plant myself in the chair. Just in time, too, as Luca walks back in the house and down the hall towards where I sit.

  “Dinner should be here in about twenty minutes.”

  “Perfect.”

  “I did some more writing. Would you like to read it?”

  “Does it snow in Boston?”

  Luca laughs. “Yes, it definitely does. Here you go,” he says, handing me some papers from his desk. “Wine?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “Be right back.”

  Luca leaves the room and I sink further into the chair, indulging in his amazing words. As I read, the depth of emotions springing from the page is astounding. This is not a clinical retelling of historical events. This is a love letter. This is a tale of unrequited desire, of shared passion, of lovers torn apart, but reunited again. In just a few pages, Luca has managed to capture the joys and heartbreaks that loving another human can sometimes bring. These pages I hold are the very essence of love.

  I hear the doorbell ring and Luca conversing briefly with someone. I wipe the tears his words brought from my eyes just as he appears in the doorway.

  “Are you alright?” Luca asks, handing me a glass of wine.

  “Definitely. Luca, this is amazing. I cannot wait for the rest of it. This doesn’t read like a textbook or a research book. It reads like a sensual homage to the depths of human emotion.”

  Luca places his hand over his heart and bows slightly. “Thank you, Londyn. I am humbled.”

  “You shouldn’t be humble. You should be proud of this. I’ve read your other books and this one, by far, is your best.”

  “You’ve read my books?”

  “Yes, of course. I wanted to work for you. I needed to be familiar with your career.”

  He smiles. “Are you hungry?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll be right back with dinner.”

  “I’ll be here.” I look down and reread the introduction I just finished. The words grab my heart and shake me to my core.

  When you love someone, it is not enough to say, ‘I love you.’ You must make sure she knows the depth of your love for her. You must hold her in your arms and make her feel safe. When she looks in your eyes, she must see her future. When your lips kiss hers, she must quiver from the passion you feel for her. If you are lucky enough that she gives her body to you, you must treasure it, caress it, pleasure it. You must make her body the shrine before which you worship. She must believe she is the one and only woman in your thoughts, because she is. If you love someone, you must love her completely. You must love her so much that losing her would destroy you.

  I skip to another paragraph.

  When love is lost and despair sets in, it is easy to give up. But the joy and remembrance of the love we used to have should be a reason to try again. Love gives us purpose. Even though your heart has been destroyed, there is hope. The love of a woman, the soul mate you seek, can repair you. You must be wise enough to let her in. When she appears, dear sir, let her in.

  “Ready?” Luca asks, carrying two steaming plates of food.

  “I am,” I say softly.

  “What are you thinking?”

  “I’m just wondering where you got the inspiration to write such words. Is this how you feel about love?”

  “Yes. Definitely.”

  “Are you destroyed, Luca?”

  “Yes.” He sits on the ottoman next to me and offers a melancholy smile. “It was years ago. I’d like to tell you what happened someday. Not today, though.”

  “Okay.”

  “I will say this. Your presence in my life is very comforting. I am thankful our paths have crossed.”

  “As am I.”

  Luca gazes into my eyes, and instead of sadness, I see something else. Hope?

  “Shall we eat?”

  “Yes.”

  As we eat, we chat about the books I picked out in the library today. Luca’s energy is vibrant whenever he talks about his work. It’s like two different men. There is sad, melancholy Luca and passionate, ambitious Luca. They are both intensely beautiful to me.

  I put my plate down and walk towards his bookshelf. “Have you read all of these?”

  “Yes, some more than once.”

  “When do you have the time?”

  “I’ve been reading and amassing my book collection since I was young.” Luca joins me and then pulls a book off a lower shelf. “This one here, I got from a yard sale when I was just a boy.”

  “I love it. Each has a meaning to you.”

  “Yes.”

  Luca stands so close to me my body aches in response. Every inch of me cries out for his touch. He leans over me to take another book from the shelf and as he does, his arm brushes up against me, sending chills through me. I must have released a sound because he stops suddenly and gazes down at me.

  �
��Londyn…” he whispers softly, staring in my eyes.

  “Yes?”

  “I have so many things to say. Secrets I want to tell you.”

  “You can tell me anything you want.”

  “I know.”

  Shockingly, he reaches out and grazes my cheek with his fingers. I turn my face so that my lips brush against his hand. I want him to know it is okay with me. He can touch me. He can kiss me. Oh please, for the love of all that is good and right, let this man kiss me.

  Luca moves closer to me, pressing me against the shelves. Just when I think our lips are about to meet, suddenly, he drops his hand and looks away. What? No!

  “Would you like dessert? I have some limoncello gelato.”

  The moment is broken as he takes a step back. “Yes, please.” We both need the space to digest what almost happened between us.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  “Okay.”

  My mind races as I try to tame my raging hormones. Bloody hell! Why won’t he just kiss me? It’s obvious that, at least in that moment, he wanted to. I don’t even know how to make sense of what is happening.

  I sink down in the large chair and ponder what will happen when he comes back in this room. I hear Luca clinking around in the kitchen and wonder what he is thinking. Digging my phone out of my bag, I text Maddie.

  Me: I nearly kissed the professor. I don’t know what to do.

  My phone immediately rings. “Hello?” I answer.

  “Hello? What the fuck are you talking about?” Maddie screams into the phone.

  “We had a moment,” I whisper. “He rubbed my cheek and I thought he might.”

  “Bloody hell! Did you want to? You sound like you wanted to.”

  “Yes, but I’m afraid. I don’t want to bugger it all up.”

  “Tell me what happened.”

  “I can’t. I’m still here.”

  “Shit.”

  “What do I do, Maddie? I mean if he does kiss me? Or more? What do I do?”

  “What do you want to do?”

  “Honestly? Tear off my clothes like some wanton sex freak.”

  Maddie laughs. “There’s an image for you. Listen, you have a lot on the line with him. Don’t rush anything. Just see what happens next. And wake me up when you get home. I’m not going out tonight.”