“What if it does, Luca? Wouldn’t that be the most wonderful thing in the world? You aren’t replacing Sara. You are just letting someone new into your heart. She’ll always have a spot there.”
“I appreciate how you understand and support me. You’re a saint.”
“No, I’m a human and humans need love to thrive. You need it.”
“I’m just really scared to let someone in.” Clara rubs my hand. “You’ve always been there for me even though this is my fault that we have to be here.”
“We’ve had this discussion a gazillion times. It is not your fault. Accidents are called that because they don’t happen intentionally. It was an accident. Everyone understands that but you. You need to forgive yourself. Maybe Londyn can help you with that. Have you told her about Sara?”
I shake my head.
“That could be a good place to start. Open up. Show some vulnerability. There is a wonderful, sweet, loving man beneath this stoic persona you have on constant display. Let her meet him. She’ll fall head over heels in love with you if she’s not already.”
“Maybe.”
“Are you in love with her, Luca?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you think?”
“I think it’s possible. I can’t stop thinking about her.”
“Then tell her. Tell her your fears and hesitations. Tell her what broke your heart. Tell her how you feel about her and how she makes you feel. Then let her love you back.”
I pull Clara into my arms and hug her tight. “I’m going to think about it. I’m not ready yet, but you’ve given me a lot of good things to think about. Thanks for being here.”
“Let’s go,” she says, standing. “It gets creepy here when the sun sets.”
I laugh. “That it does.” I rub Sara’s tombstone one more time. “Goodnight, Sara. Thanks for listening and giving me Clara.”
Clara and I walk out and I make sure she gets back to her car safely then start my walk home. Clara is right. I have to tell Londyn everything. I just hope I haven’t already ruined my chance with her.
“YOU HAVE A LOT OF explaining to do,” Madeleine says as she sits on the end of my bed. “What happened the other night? Did you do something with Professor Hottie?”
Groaning, I pull the sheets over my head. “I don’t want to discuss it.”
Madeleine grabs the sheet and pulls it off me. “Well, you’re going to. I gave you a pass last night, but now you need to spill it.”
“Nothing happened. He completely shut down. I don’t even know what to think anymore.”
“Shut down?”
“Yes, he backed away and then said he overstepped his bounds and it wouldn’t happen again. He obviously doesn’t like me the way I thought he might.”
“Of course he does, you silly goose. That’s what men do when they really like a girl.”
“They back off?”
“Yeah, it’s classic. They get all freaked out about it. If he didn’t have feelings for you, he would’ve just shagged you up against the desk and gotten it over with. If it was just physical for him, he wouldn’t have stopped it.”
“You realize that makes no sense at all.”
“Hey, I didn’t create the bloody species, but I have a lot of experience with them. Happens all the time. The ones who aren’t serious about anything are always willing to have a go. The ones who’ve really liked me always want to wait. A proper courting and all that.”
“Hmm. Perhaps.”
“I’m telling ya, Londyn. He likes you.”
“Okay, so what if he does? He’s made it clear he crossed the line and won’t do it again. Now, I’m just supposed to carry on as though nothing happened?”
Madeleine laughs. “He says it won’t happen again, but it most definitely will.”
“I should tell you the rest.”
“What’s that?”
“Last night after work, I saw him with a woman. A young, pretty woman. He kissed her cheek and he held her hand. Then they disappeared round a corner.”
“So?”
“So, what if she’s his girlfriend?”
“He does not have a girlfriend.”
“How do you know?”
“If he did, why would he have you over? Even for work, what woman in her right mind would be okay with that? Why would he have never mentioned her? Why doesn’t she call or stop by for lunch? There is no girlfriend.”
“Well then, who was she?”
“How should I know? Maybe she’s a friend. Or his sister? Or, I don’t know—but don’t jump to conclusions. There is nothing in this man’s behavior thus far that would lead us to believe he has a girlfriend.”
“I suppose that’s true.”
“You should call him.”
“And say what?!” I exclaim.
“Say, ‘Luca, we need to talk. It’s obvious something is happening here. Let’s explore it together.’”
“I would never in a million years say that. If he wants me, he’ll have to be the one to tell me.”
“Suit yourself. You should go after what you want, though.”
“Says the pot to the kettle.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Um, does the name Devon ring a bell?”
“That’s different.”
“How so?”
“He’s your brother.”
“Luca is my boss.”
Madeleine is silent, and for once, doesn’t have a comeback. “You’ve got me there.”
“Anyway, maybe Luca knows best. It might be better that we keep our relationship professional.”
“Yeah, maybe. Or you both could be missing out on the most mind blowing love ever.”
“Ugh!” I pull the sheet over my head again.
“I’m going shopping today. Wanna come?” Madeleine asks, pulling the sheet down again.
“No. I’m going to Somerville for a birthday party. I was going to ask you to come, too, but haven’t had a chance.”
“Will there be boys there?”
“I’m sure there will be.”
“Well then, you can count on me. What time?”
“Noon. We can take the train.”
“Grand.”
“It’s casual. It’s in a backyard, so no stilettos.”
“Poo. Alright then. I’ll go shower.”
“Go on with you.”
I pull myself out of bed and into the bathroom. Brushing my teeth, I can’t shake Luca from my thoughts. I hope spending time with other people today will be distracting. At least for a few hours.
After my shower, I quickly pull my hair into a braid and find a nice skirt and blouse to put on. I need to remind Madeleine that we have to stop and buy a gift. Maybe she’ll have an idea of what to get for someone you hardly know.
Just as I’m heading out of my bedroom my cell phone rings. Looking at the number, I have no idea who it is.
“Hello,” I answer, hesitantly.
“CC?”
“Nico?”
“Yeah, it’s me. How are you?”
“Fine.”
“I hope you don’t mind me using your number. I was wondering if you had time to catch lunch today.”
He’s asking me to lunch? “I was just heading out to a birthday party.”
“How about after?”
“Why?”
“Honestly? I could use a friend. I just need some advice and I think you’d be a good person to get it from.”
I sigh. He needs advice from me? “I’ll be in Somerville all afternoon. I’m not sure what time I’m coming back.”
“I can meet you in Somerville.”
“I’ll be with my friend. Why don’t I call you when I get back home?”
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
“Thanks, Londyn. I appreciate it.”
“Okay. Talk to you later.”
I hang up and shake my head. Nico needs a friend so he called me?
“Ready, Londyn?�
�
“You look nice.”
Madeleine slides her hands over her stomach. “You like it? I don’t look too poochy?”
“Not at all. The dress is flattering. Red looks good on you.”
“Thank you. Who were you talking to?”
“Unbelievably, Luca’s brother, Nico. He called and said he wants to talk. Something about needing a friend and advice. Apparently, he thinks I can offer him both of those things.”
“Odd.”
“You’re telling me.” I pick up my handbag. “We need to stop somewhere and get a gift. Ideas?”
“Yeah, that gift shop at the end of the street. They have pre-wrapped things there.”
“Perfect, let’s go.”
“Thanks for coming, Londyn,” Ella says. “It was really nice.”
“The party was fun. Thanks for the invite. Your parents are delightful.”
“They can be.” Ella smiles as Dixon approaches with her drink. He kisses her on the cheek and rubs her back. He is awfully sweet to her.
I look around for Madeleine and see her holding court with several men like she’s Scarlett O’Hara at the Twelve Oaks barbecue. I shake my head and laugh. Ella and Dixon turn too.
“Your friend is very outgoing,” Ella says.
“Yes, she is.”
“I’m glad you brought her. She was fun.”
“I like her.”
“So, hey, I never had a chance to tell you this,” Ella says.
“What?”
“A couple of weeks ago, I saw Di Roma in the break room shredding a bouquet of flowers with his bare hands. He looked beyond pissed. Then he threw them away and stomped past me without another word.”
Well, that explains what happened to Nico’s flowers.
“Odd.”
“It is. I wanted to ask you about it and then I got distracted. I mean, who does that?”
“He must have had a reason.”
“So you don’t know anything about it?”
I shake my head. “This is the first I’m hearing of it. He must not like flowers.”
Ella laughs. “Violently. He was definitely mad.”
“Hmm, well it is curious, but I won’t ask him about it. I find it’s best if I let him decide what he wishes to share with me. He’s a very private man.”
“Yeah, I can tell. Maybe that’s why he was mad. Maybe someone sent the flowers to school and he didn’t like that.”
“Yes, maybe that’s it.” I really wish we could talk about something else now. Unfortunately, I know all too well why he was angry.
Ella’s attention is redirected as several guests approach to say their goodbyes. The party starts to break up and I decide to drag Madeleine away and get back home. I give Ella and Dixon hugs before attempting to get Madeleine to leave.
“Let’s go, Maddie.”
She pops her bottom lip out like a proper child and pouts. “But I’m having fun.”
“Ten more minutes,” I warn like a proper parent. Pulling out my phone, I take a deep breath and dial Nico. I might as well figure out where he wants to meet.
“Hey, Londyn.”
“Hello.”
“Are you home? I can swing by.”
“Nope. Still in Somerville.”
“I can come pick you up there.”
“Is it out of your way?”
“I drive all over the city all the time. What’s the address?”
I give it to him and then agree to be out front in fifteen minutes. I head back to my friend once again to tear her away from her admirers.
“Let’s go. Nico is coming to pick us up.”
“You go on. I’ll get a ride.”
“I don’t know.”
One of the men she sits with speaks up. “I’ll take her back. She’s safe with me.”
Based on the expression on Madeleine’s face, I can tell she is very happy with this development.
“Alright then. See you later.”
“Yep,” she says, quickly turning her attention back to her suitor.
I walk out front and wait for Nico. Moments later, he pulls up in a striking red sports car. Stepping out, Nico smiles big and holds the passenger door open for me. I slide onto the cool leather seats that hug my body.
“Nice car. What is it?”
“A Lexus IS C. You like it?”
“I do.”
“Thanks. Just bought it. My business is going well.”
“That’s good.”
“Hey, there’s a really cool bar near Harvard. We can grab a drink and talk.”
“Okay.”
“Thanks for meeting up with me. I think we got off on the wrong foot and I hope we can be friends.”
“I’m sure we can.”
“Things are going well with Luca?”
“Yes.”
“That’s great. He isn’t exactly easy to get along with.”
“People say that, but other than the day you two rowed, we’ve gotten on well.”
“Rowed?”
“Argued,” I clarify.
“That was my fault. I pissed him off. He doesn’t like it when his personal and professional lives collide.”
“Yes, I am aware of that.”
“I bet.”
“Why did you call me, Nico?”
“I need advice.”
“Why me?”
“I don’t have any female friends. One thing that Luca was right about is how I go through women. It’s a bad habit of mine. That’s why he was worried. He thought I was going to hurt you.”
“I see.”
“I hurt your feelings, didn’t I?”
“A little, yes,” I admit.
“I’m sorry.” He reaches over and rubs my hand gently. “I really am. If things were different, I definitely would have gone out with you again. I had fun that night.”
“Thank you. So did I.” I look outside and see Nico exiting for Harvard Square. “So what kind of advice do you need?”
“Girl advice.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t expecting that at all.
“I need a woman’s perspective.”
“Okay, well I am that.”
“Yeah, you are. And wicked smart.”
“I hope I can help.”
Nico pulls up in front of a bar packed with people. I step out of the car and when we walk in, the bartender waves at him. We find a seat right away and the waitress takes our orders.
“So, what can I help with?” I ask.
“There’s this girl. Her name is Candace. We dated for two years off and on. I was a jerk to her. Immature, partying too much and I flirted with other women in front of her. I cheated on her a few times. Anyway, she finally got sick of me and broke it off and moved to Illinois with her job.”
“Okay.”
The waitress returns with our drinks and I take a big swig of my gin and tonic.
“Well, she came back.”
“Is that good?”
“Yeah, I mean, I think so.” He takes a drink of his beer. “She said she wants me back, but only if I can act like a grown up.”
“A fair demand. Can you?”
“I hope so. I’m not sure what grownups act like.”
“How long was she gone?”
“Almost three years.”
“Did you change your habits whilst she was gone?”
He shakes his head. “No. In fact, when I lost her I went into overdrive. I lost track of how many women I slept with.” Nico looks up at me and frowns. “Now you know why Luca was warning you away from me.”
I nod my head. “Well, how do you feel about her?”
“I love her. I always have.”
I can tell from his tone that he really does love this girl. It’s sweet.
“Have you told her?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, so what kind of advice do you need?”
“Well, she has a kid now. Plus, I don’t know what to do. Do I ask her to move in with me? Do I try to talk to the kid? What does
a woman want from a man?”
“Well, I don’t know that I can be the spokeswoman for the entire female species.” I smile to soften my words. “I believe she has told you what she wants. A man who loves a woman wants to spend his time with her. He doesn’t need to go to the bar and drink too much. He doesn’t need to flirt with other women. She should have your undivided attention.” Luca’s words from his book rush back to me, causing a small lump to form in my throat. “My advice is simple. Go home to her. Tell her you love her and that you will do your best to be the man she needs. Take an interest in her child and support her however you can. She came back for a reason.”
“I’m just scared I’m gonna fuck it all up.”
“You won’t if you are honest with her.”
“Yeah. I’m older now.”
“I hope you’ve sufficiently sowed your wild oats. Does she know you are out with me tonight?”
Nico smiles. “Yeah, she does. I told her you worked for Luca and you seemed like someone I could be friends with. She did ask me if I’d slept with you before, though.”
“Well, you can assure her that didn’t happen.”
“I already did. She said she is going to trust me until I give her a reason not to.”
“That’s the right thing to do.”
“Here’s a picture of her.” He pulls out his phone and scrolls to a picture of a beautiful girl with wavy brown hair and skin the color of rich milk chocolate.
“She’s beautiful.”
“I think so.” Nico takes another sip of beer. “You are, too.”
“You don’t have to say that.”
“I’m serious. I asked you out because I thought you were cute, but…”
“But what?”
“Honestly, I just wanted to get Luca’s attention.”
“Why?”
Nico shrugs. “It’s just something I do. It goes way back.”
“It doesn’t seem very brotherly to do things to intentionally hurt each other.”
“It’s not. It’s just…” Nico looks down at the table. “Complicated. Anyway,” he says looking up again, “at dinner I could tell you were really sweet and I just couldn’t bring myself to do what I always do.”
“Which is?”
“Seduce you. Bring you home and take you to bed.”
“What makes you think I would’ve said yes?”
“Not to be an ass, but girls always say yes.”
I’m sure that’s the truth. I know I would have too if given the opportunity. He’ll never know that, though.
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