Londyn Falls
Page 23
“Well, it’s a moot point now, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. So, I’m sorry I was an ass and drug you into that shit with Luca. He really pissed you off that day, didn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“How did he get you to come back?”
“He showed up at my house and apologized.”
“No shit?”
“Yes.”
“He must really like you then.”
“I think so.” I take another sip. “What happened to him that makes him so sad all the time?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
“Why so secretive?”
“It’s a big deal. It defines Luca as a person, even though it shouldn’t.”
“Is that why there’s some tension between you?”
“Yep. I was involved.”
“I wish he would tell me.”
“He never talks about it. Even with people who know what happened. Never. If he opens up to you…”
“What?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t even know. Just believe me when I say that if Luca tells you about it, you are someone very important and special to him.”
I take another drink and drain my glass. “I don’t know that we are close enough that he would ever open up to me.”
“I hope he opens up to someone. He’s a good man and he has a huge heart. He just hides it from public view.”
“Yes, he does.”
“You like him, don’t you?”
“Of course I like him. We work well together.”
“No, I mean, like him in a romantic way.”
“No!” I say, indignantly. “Why would you say that?”
“I can hear it when you talk about him. Your voice changes. You like him.”
“As I said, as a friend and coworker, yes.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“That’s all you get.”
“Okay, okay you don’t have to tell me you like him, but if you do, please be kind to him. He needs someone patient and loving. It will take a lot for him to open up, so just give him time.”
“I’ll keep that in mind IF I ever start to like him.”
Nico grins. “Okay, Londyn. If you say so.”
“I say so.”
“I should get you home. I told Candace I would be home by six and I want to keep my promise.”
“As you should. On your way home, why don’t you stop and pick up something nice for each of them. Maybe some nice chocolates for her and a candy or trinket for the child.”
“That’s a great idea.”
“Women like things like that,” I say, smiling.
Nico pays the tab and we walk back to his car. Driving back to my place, I have to say I am actually happy I met up with him. We cleared the air and we can be friends. I’m also happy he’s in love.
“Thanks for going out with me tonight, Londyn. I really appreciate the advice.”
“Anytime. Thanks for asking. I’m glad to be your friend.”
“Me, too.”
I start to walk away, but he unrolls the window and calls out to me. “Londyn?”
“Yes?” I peek into the car window.
“Be patient with Luca.”
“I will.”
Nico drives away and I walk slowly back inside. I should’ve asked who the blond girl was, but maybe Nico doesn’t know. Besides, asking would have indicated my interest and the last person I’m going to discuss my feelings for Luca with is his brother. Friends or not.
After getting settled for the evening, I pull out my boodle and start writing. I fill pages and pages of my thoughts, my feelings, and mostly my desire for the man I cannot banish from my dreams.
Rolling over in bed, I lay my head on my pillow and catch sight of the sliver of moon peeking through my curtains. Tears stream down my cheeks, wetting the pillow beneath me. This has to change. I can’t go to bed every night aching for someone I cannot have.
Note to self: Love hurts.
I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I just saw. Shaking my head twice, I make sure my eyes aren’t playing tricks on me. But no, as I pass the bar, I see them in the window. Nico and Londyn together. Standing across the street, I watch them chatting. Londyn smiles and chews on her bottom lip. What could they be talking about? It takes everything in me not to walk right in there and tear her away.
I thought he was back with Candace anyway. Is he already screwing that up and looking to Londyn for comfort? The very thought of him touching her makes my blood boil. I stomp down the sidewalk and start to dial his phone but hang up.
Fuck. I pace the street for several minutes, thinking about what I should do. Then it dawns on me. I have no fucking right to tear her away from Nico or anyone else. I can’t even tell her how I feel about her. I can’t even man up enough to kiss her. I’m a fool and I’ve lost her.
I walk over to a bench and sit down. I want to sit here until they leave, but what good will that do? I won’t see him take her home. I won’t see her invite him up and offer him a cup of tea with just a swirl of honey in it. I won’t know how she looks at him when she leads him to her bedroom. I won’t see his hands strip her clothes from her body. I won’t see his eyes take in her naked beauty or feel the softness of her flesh between his fingers. Dammit! I’m losing my fucking mind.
I can’t sit here and watch him take her away from me. I can’t. Turning around, I make myself walk away from the bar and the only hope I had to love again.
I stare at my reflection in the mirror. It’s Monday again and my chance to see her. I desperately want to know what happened between her and Nico. It would kill me to know he touched her, though. Smearing shaving cream on my face, I lift my razor to shave, but then remembering Londyn likes my stubble, I decide to leave it. I shake my head. I’ve really lost it.
After rinsing my face, I walk to my closet and select a black pair of dress pants and a white shirt. I go through the motions, getting ready in a daze. I can’t keep going on like this. I’m on the verge of making a damn fool of myself. I sigh and walk into the kitchen for a glass of juice.
Leaning against the counter, I decide I need to do my best to be professional regardless of my misplaced feelings towards her. She doesn’t deserve to be with a man like me. A man who can’t even open his heart. She doesn’t deserve Nico either, though. He’ll only break her heart. I just hope he hasn’t already.
I start my short walk to work, taking in the crisp, autumn air. This is my favorite time of year. I thoroughly enjoy the falling leaves and the briskness that settles into the air. It won’t be long before the holiday season arrives and I will have to let Londyn go for a few weeks. I shake my head to rid my mind of the thought.
Once in my office, I sit and stare out into the courtyard. I know Londyn will be here any minute. I want to see her face, but then again, I don’t. I don’t know if I can take it. I hear her voice, talking with someone as she approaches. Bracing myself, I pretend to be studying some papers.
She walks in the room and it feels like I was hit by a flying object at high speed. She looks absolutely breathtaking. The purple dress she wears is lovely against her creamy skin. She’s wearing makeup again, just a bit, and her hair is wavy and wild. Was she always this beautiful?
“Good morning, Professor,” she says.
“Good morning, Londyn.” I stand and take a stack of papers over to her. “I need you to go through this and sort them by class. Apparently some idiot didn’t label my mail slots and the students’ papers are mixed up.”
“Okay.”
“Also, I need you to reschedule two of my student meetings from tomorrow to Wednesday.”
“Okay. Anything else?” she asks.
And I need you to pull that dress off and come sit on my lap. I can’t even believe that thought just went through my mind.
“I’d like to see if you could try grading some of the work I have this week.”
“You want me to grade? I wouldn’t know what you are looking for.”
“Okay.”
The phone rings and I glare at it. I don’t want anyone from the outside world interrupting my day with her. If this is all I can get of her, then I want all of it for myself.
“Professor Di Roma’s office,” she answers. I kind of love the way she says my name. “Professor, it’s Angela.”
“Hello?” I say, lifting the handset.
“Hey, there. My husband is making the trip out here tonight. Dinner with us?”
I glance over at Londyn. I was hoping to find a way to spend the evening with her again, but what if she plans to see Nico again. I’ll feel like an ass. A bigger one.
“Sure, dinner tonight would be fine. What time?”
“Six-ish?”
“Perfect. See you then.”
“Great. Bye.”
“Bye.”
I look back at Londyn who is ignoring me, deeply concentrating on her work already. No stolen glances, no beautiful eyes gazing at me. I blew it.
SOMETHING IS OBVIOUSLY BOTHERING Luca today. He is distant and definitely distracted. He keeps staring out the window and looking down at his phone. Hmm.
I excuse myself to get a cup of tea and bump into Ella in the hallway.
“Hey, girlfriend,” she says.
“Hey, Ella. Did you have a good rest of your weekend?”
“I did. Dixon gave me this bracelet.” She extends her arm showing me the delicate gold that graces her wrist.
“It’s lovely.”
“Yeah. I like it a lot. And him.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. So I saw Nico pick you up. What’s up with that?”
“Nothing, he just needed to chat.”
“Are you friends with him?”
“Sort of.”
“Does Di Roma know?”
“No. I don’t think he would like it. He likes to keep his personal life private.”
“Hopefully, he doesn’t blow a gasket.”
“Agreed. I better get back. He gave me a ton of work to do today.”
“Okay, I’ll see you later.”
I head to the break room and make two cups of tea. When I come back in the office, Luca doesn’t even look up at me. I must be making him uncomfortable.
“I can go work with the other assistants today if you want to be alone,” I offer.
“No,” he responds rather abruptly. “That won’t be necessary. I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Okay.” I sit down and go back to my work. I’ve already learned that Luca isn’t about to tell me anything he doesn’t want to. How I wish that night hadn’t happened. Wait, no. That isn’t true. I wish it happened and kept going. I wish he kissed me. I wish he wanted to. I would give all of this up in a minute for a chance to love Luca.
My phone vibrates in my bag and I quickly grab it. It’s Madeleine so I answer it.
“Well, well, risen from the dead, have ya now?” I tease. Madeleine’s been in bed since yesterday recovering from the weekend.
“Yeah, I’m up. Sorry to call at work, but I haven’t had a chance to tell you something yet.”
“What’s that?”
“After you left the party with Nico, Ella was asking me a ton of questions about you.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?”
“Like all about your personal life. She asked me if I think you have a crush on Luca.”
“Luca?” I wish I didn’t repeat that as I have just captured his attention.
“Yeah. She asked me why I thought it was working out so well between you at work and if I thought there was something going on.”
“She asked you that?”
“Mmm hmm. I told her no, of course, that it’s working out well because you are a bloody rock star at your job. I asked her why she was so interested in you and Luca and she said she wanted to ask you herself, but you are always so busy at work she hasn’t had a chance. I don’t buy it. I think her questions were suspicious.”
“It would seem that way, yes.”
“She was really friendly the whole time about it, but still, it bothered me. Enough to say something.”
“Well, she does ask me an awful lot of questions, too, now that I think about it.”
“Do you think she’s up to something?”
“Like what, though?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps she is jealous.”
“Of what?”
“You and Luca. Perhaps she wanted the job or maybe she has a crush on him.”
My eyes shift to Luca who looks away, but I know he is paying attention. I smile and step out of the room. “She’s had a job for several years with the same prof and she has a boyfriend. What could she be jealous of me over?”
“I don’t know, Londyn. I’m just saying there was an unhealthy level of interest in your personal life and Luca. Perhaps she thought I was drunk enough to tell her something juicy, which there isn’t any of anyway.”
“No, nothing juicy to report.”
“I just thought you should know.”
“Thank you. I’ll see you after work? We can grab a bite.”
“Yeah, I’ll be here. Bye.”
“Bye.” I hang up and walk slowly back to the office. What the bloody hell is Ella up to?
“Everything alright?” Luca asks.
“Oh, yes.” I pause and wonder what I should tell him. He knows he was at least part of the conversation I just had. “Maddie told me that Ella was asking her a lot of questions about us at her birthday party this weekend.”
“About us?”
“Yes. About our working relationship and she asked Maddie if I had a crush on you or if there was something going on here.”
“Is that so?”
I nod my head. “It’s so odd because I talk to Ella all the time. She could ask me directly if she had a question. Why she thinks she should ask my best friend is beyond me.”
“Does it bother you that she asked?”
“No, it bothers me how she asked. She went behind my back.”
“Unfortunately, I have found that it is difficult to trust people.”
“I always trust. It’s a character flaw.”
“No, it’s a good thing, but it does open you up to things like this.”
“Well, the good news is that there is nothing scandalous to report. We get along, I do my job well, and no one has a crush on anyone.” Ah, if only that weren’t a blatant lie on my part.
“Keep your guard high, Londyn. I would hate to see you get hurt. By anyone.”
“I’ll be careful.”
“Good.”
Luca offers a smile and goes back to his work. I wonder if and when I will say anything to Ella. Maybe it’s better if I don’t and just let her think I don’t know. She took advantage of Maddie being drunk and that says a lot to me. I will keep an eye on her from now on.
For now, I attempt to focus on my work and not the stunning man sitting just a few feet away from me.
THE LAST THREE WEEKS have been tense and challenging for me. As each day passes, I know that she slips further away from me. I want to invite her back to my home again so badly, but I fear she would decline. She’s been all business lately.
It only makes it worse that I haven’t heard one word from Nico- confirming my suspicions. Why would he call? He doesn’t want me to know he cheated on Candace to be with Londyn. As for her, she says nothing about him and frankly, nothing about her personal life at all. Why would she, though? I haven’t exactly been an open book myself.
I agreed to let her leave early today so she and her brother could pick their parents up from the airport for the Thanksgiving holiday. It’ll be damn near a week until I see her again. It kills me even though I don’t deserve her. Not for one minute. Not only does she do exceptional work, she’s been nothing but kind to me. Even after I acted like a total jerk. Why didn’t I just kiss her that night?
>
She breezes in the doorway after lunch and I sit up straight in my chair. I want to be the one who goes to lunch with her. I want to walk in the courtyard with her and talk about Dante and Michelangelo. I want…her.
“Afternoon, Professor. Would you like a cup of tea? It’s getting cold outside.”
“I would love that, thank you.”
“Be right back.”
I try to busy myself and distract my thoughts from my comely assistant. The chilly air outside has made her cheeks rosy and her hair has been blown around a bit. Quite honestly, she looks as though she’s just been made love to. At least, that is how I imagine it. The more I’m around her, the more beautiful I think she is. Her charm has me enraptured and I have succumbed to her spell. Too bad she has no idea.
A few moments later, she returns and sets the cup down before me. She doesn’t linger anymore, hoping for a slight brush of our hands, a brief moment of contact between us. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted in an assistant. Unfortunately, she’s also everything I’ve ever wanted in a lover.
An hour or so later, her sweet voice breaks the silence of the room.
“I’ve finished everything you gave me for the day. Is there anything else I can do to help you wrap up the week?”
“No, you’ve done more than enough.”
“Okay. I’ll just clean out your email and put your out of office on for the Thanksgiving holiday.”
“Thank you.” I try to tear my eyes off her, but it’s even more difficult than usual.
Londyn looks up and catches my eye. Her lips part to speak when there is a knock at the door. I look up and see a student from my Italian Literature class standing there.
“Can I help you?” I ask.
“Yes, I know you didn’t have hours posted today, but I’m desperate,” the student says, entering.
“How so?” I ask, unamused. These are my last moments with Londyn for several days and I do not like the interruption.
“I don’t know what parts we are supposed to study for the exam next week,” he says.
“I hardly see how that is my problem. There are a hundred other students in the class. Why didn’t you ask one of them?”