by Candi B
“Sunjai, I don’t know where things are going, or if it’s even moving. A few weeks ago, everything was good, and I ain’t gon’ lie, I started feeling him.”
“Like feeling, feeling, him?”
“Girl, I made the man my famous cheesecake.”
“Oh, bitch, you are feeling, feeling, him.” We snickered.
“Yess, I was. Girl, the nigga takes out my trash, meets me at my door every morning with a cup of coffee. He’s just everything that bastard Xavier wasn’t. Girl, don’t even get me started on the sex. I think that’s why I’m going crazy now, because my body needs him.”
“Dang, whew, baby, baby, oh, baby, baby. Chile, that man got your ass hooked. So, I still don’t understand why you mad.”
“So, girl, I put it on him, and we fucked ourselves until we couldn’t do shit else but go to sleep. His phone kept vibrating and I told him to answer it. The next morning, he kissed me and told me he would see me later on. I haven’t seen him since, and that was two weeks ago.”
"Two weeks, what the hell?! That is some bullshit, but what if his reasoning doesn't have anything to do with what y’all have going on?"
"I don't care what it has to do with, you don't treat friends that way. I don't care how mad we are at each other, if either of us gets on a boat, plane, or bus, we are going to let each other know. I'm not tripping, he has showed me how he feels, and it is what it is. Why are you shaking your head?"
"Because you in your feelings about this nigga. Ivy, in reality, that man really don't have to tell you shit, because he ain't obligated to. Stop popping your lips and hear me out. The same mistake I made with Melo, is what you are making with Zane. All the time I was with Melo, I knew what I wanted, but I didn't apply enough pressure on him to make him give it to me. I didn't respect myself enough to walk away from his bullshit, so in return, he didn't respect me. If you want a relationship with him, tell him, you want kids with the nigga, tell him, shit, if you want to marry that nigga, tell him."
"You better say that, evangelist Sunjai." We laughed. "I hate to tell you when you are right, but you’re right. I didn't think I would want to be in a relationship so soon, but Zane gives me such a good feeling. He's everything that I was missing when I was with Xavier."
"Then hear him out. One thing I can say with being involved with a fuck boy, you learn and know all the signs. You can detect bullshit, and them, a mile away. The first word that comes out of his mouth, you should know if he's full of shit or not. If he's sincere, then tell him what you want, tell him how you feel, Ivy. Don't be like how I was."
"Yeah, but you and Melo were in a relationship. I don't even know if that's what Zane wants, his actions are telling me otherwise."
"Girl, don't make me throw this drink at you. What me and Melo had was toxic, and it wasn't good for my health. Girl, that night you dropped me off, I had a mental breakdown. I felt myself swimming in sorrow and drowning in a bottle of brown liquor. For that split second, I forgot what I was made of. My mama and granny didn't raise me to be weak, and my daddy would kick my ass if he found out I had let myself go, all because of man. It took a few days, but I got out of that bad head space and I'm back causing hell."
Every jewel Sunjai was dropping on me was on point. We, as women, would go on niggas, tell them what we not gon’ do and so on, but we never opened our mouth when it came to our needs and wants. Some of us assume a man should already know, and some of us are just too scared to speak up. Being in a failed marriage for so long, I got immune to not speaking up. For all I know, Zane could have went to be with another bitch, all because he didn't know how I felt about him.
"I'm going to hear him out, and just be real, and tell him how I feel. So, when are you going to introduce me to your friend?" I asked Sunjai.
"When the time is right. We are doing something kind of like you and Zane, we are at the beginner’s stage. It feels good to have someone that understands you, and is easy to talk to. I never thought I would find happiness down the road I'm traveling, but so far, the view has been beautiful. Don't worry, if they’re the one, you be meeting them soon."
Why was this bitch trying to be secretive and shit? I would play along with her, but I had met the road she was traveling down a few times. But you know what? If Big Rick made my best friend happy, then fuck it. He obviously liked her, because she had a brand-new apartment, and a bad ass new car. Our food was brought to the table and someone slid in the booth next to me and Sunjai.
"Demarcus, what the fuck?! You scared me, dumb ass." I told my brother.
He chuckled. "That's what your watermelon head ass get. What's wrong with your phone? I've been trying to call you."
"Stick your hand in my food again, and watch I stab your rude ass. You ain't even wash your hands!" Sunjai told Roddrick.
He sucked his teeth. "Don't play me, man, my hands are clean, and it was one fucking French fry."
"So! Don't put your fingers in my food unless you are paying for it." Sunjai rolled her eyes and neck.
Since kids, these two never got along with each other. The same amount of torture they gave me, they gave to Sunjai too. I remember nights when Sunjai slept over, and Roddrick and Demarcus put ketchup all over us. We woke up thinking we were dead. My daddy beat the shit out of both of them. Our junior year of high school, Sunjai and the school bully had got into it. What boy threatens to beat up a girl because she stepped on his shoes? We weren’t no punks, but my brothers always told me to tell them when someone was messing with us. We went to the front office and called Roddrick. Boy, that was a mistake, because him and Demarcus came to the school and beat his ass. They didn’t care how old or young you were, they didn’t let any nigga play around with us.
"I hope them bitches get stuck, but yea, sis, we been calling yo ass."
"You know I had to change my number because Xavier kept calling me. Have y’all found him yet?"
"Have you heard about a nigga named Xavier missing on the news yet?"
"No." I said.
"Then there is your answer. Something’s up, and all I’m saying is I think someone put him up on game about the meeting, or he never knew about it from the jump." Roddrick speculated. Roddrick was an analyzing geek type of person. He was hood as fuck, but he paid attention to detail, and when something wasn’t adding up, his brain went into overload.
"Yea, I think he caught on to what was about to happen to him, and he left town. We've been looking everywhere for him, but that nigga is in hiding. We need one of them bitches from Criminal Minds to help us find this nigga. What’s her name, Olivia Benson?" Demarcus laughed and took one of chicken wing on my plate.
"Nigga, her fine ass from Law and Order, dumb ass. This shit look good then a motherfucker." Roddrick helped himself to a chicken wing off my plate too.
"Oh, hell no, y’all paying for my food, and I ain't playing. Order your own damn food if y’all hungry, and how y’all know I was here anyway?"
"Zane told us."
My head turned towards Demarcus fast. "Zane doesn't know I'm here. I haven't talked to him in two weeks!"
"We know that. He's been in Miami, working on a ride for a TV show. Zane’s making money moves out here, but he has someone watching you."
I threw my napkin on the table. "Ain't this a bitch? So, he can't tell me where he was going, but he has someone watching my every move? Wait ‘til he brings his ass back to Detroit!"
The front I was putting on, I sure hope it was working, because my ass was smiling on the inside, and if Zane was here, I'd have another rendezvous like I had in Cali. Miles away, Zane was still thinking about my safety and making sure I was ok. I was still going to curse his ass out, but I felt a whole lot better knowing he was safe and thinking about me.
"When were you going to tell us you like his funny looking ass?" Demarcus asked.
"Neither one of you niggas look my daddy or my mama, so I don't have to tell y’all shit. I don't worry about the skanks y’all be messing with."
"Why
you acting like we won't pull up at your crib and terrorize that nigga? Zane a real nigga, but you still our little sister." Roddrick had a mug on his face.
Demarcus was the calmer one of my brothers, but whenever Roddrick got ignorant, Demarcus got twice as ignorant. It never failed, and I knew it wouldn't be long until they stuck their nose in my business.
"Yes, I do like Zane, and so what?"
"You can like who you want to like, lil sis, but we getting at that nigga. He needs to know we ain't going for the bullshit Xavier did, and I don't give a fuck how much he's well known, we will go to war behind our sister."
"Yeah, what this fool said." Roddrick ate another one of Sunjai’s fries.
"Nigga!" Sunjai shouted.
"Girl, shut up, I got the check, aight? When you gon’ stop playing and let me take you out? Rodrrick asked Sunaji.
"I'm in a relationship."
"Man, you still with Melo? That nigga is a fucking clown."
Sunjai sucked her teeth. "Y’all get on my damn nerves, but I'm no longer with him anymore, so please shut up talking about him."
Rodrrick’s cellphone rung, and he told Demarcus they had to go. He left a hundred on the table and he tried to hug Sunjai, and she pushed him off.
"Oh, Mama said you need to come see her." Demarcus told me.
"No, I'm good on Mama right now. We don’t have anything to say to each other."
"Damn, Ivy, let it go. It's been a whole two years, and y’all haven't talked once. Just go to talk to her." Roddrick pleaded.
"Bye." I told them both. Roddrick mumbled something under his tongue, and Demarcus was on his phone.
"Girl, I can't stand Roddrick’s fine ass, but what the hell is up with y’all and Xavier?"
"I knew it was something I was forgetting to tell you, but he's out of his mind." I went on to tell Sunjai everything that had transpired, and how he had a bunch of people after him.
"Whew, Chile, the drama. Now, don't get mad at me, but I think Roddrick is right, you need to go talk to your mama."
"We are not about to talk about this. I don't have anything to say to her, and I mean it. I've moved on from it all, and I'm over it."
"Are you sure about that, Ivy? Or you over it, or running away from it?"
"Sunjai, leave it alone." I said, in a warning tone.
"Fine, but if something happens to your mama today or tomorrow, you'd be crying your eyes out. Let's go, I'm not hungry anymore."
I left the hundred-dollar bill on the table, and me and Sunjai walked out the restaurant. Valet pulled the car around and just as we came, the ride was silent on the way back. We all had issues we would rather not deal with, and my family was one of them. I talked to my brothers, and my dad and I talked on occasions, but the rest of family could go to hell. At times, I missed my mama, and there were times when I wish I could call and talk to her, but once she showed me whose side she was on, I kicked her out my life. My feet couldn't get out of Sunjai’s car fast enough, as I hurried to my car.
"Ivy!" Sunjai shouted my name, and I turned around.
"What?!"
"You know I love you, and I will only tell you what's right."
"I know, bitch, I love you too.” I smiled.
Sunjai laughed and went into her apartment. Thank God for a friend like Sunjai, she was a true Sagittarius, and she didn't bite her tongue for nobody. I finally made it home, after I stopped at the store to get me a bottle of wine. I turned on the light, and almost jumped out of my skin.
"What the fuck are you doing in my house? And why are you sitting in the dark?”
"It's like that now?" Zane asked.
Before I turned on the lights, Zane was sitting on my couch in the dark drinking Hennessey straight out the bottle. I looked him over, and he looked a little off to me. I sat the bag on the table, and went to stand in front of him, but he pulled me into his body.
"I missed you." He kissed the top of my head.
He smelled so damn delicious. "I missed you too, but where have you been?" I said, with an attitude.
"Your brothers told you what was up. I was making some bread out in Miami for some celebrities who saw my work on Twitter."
"And you couldn't knock on my door to tell me you were leaving, or answer my calls? What the fuck is up, Zane? Because that sounds like some bullshit to me."
"Baby, I'm sorry, I just didn't need any distractions."
"What? So now I'm a distraction? You know what? Leave. Go to your own shit, and don't bring yourself back over here." I removed his arm from around me and stood up.
"Ivy, can I just hug on you right now? I just need some love," he stated, drunkenly.
"No, you need to go home and sleep whatever got you drunk off."
"I've tried, and I can't," he yelled. Zane stood up and fell back down on the couch. "Tell me how you did it."
"Zane, what are you talking about?"
"Tell me how you got over your cousin fucking your husband?”
My mouth dropped, because I wasn't expecting that. Where the hell did that question come from? And why did Zane want to know? Something was wrong with him, and when I saw the tears falling from his eyes, I knew something bad had happened. Something that hurt him to the core, because I knew the agony and pain on his face all too well.
"Zane, baby, please tell me what happened." I sat beside him.
"Ivy, I need you." Zane cried.
"I'm right here, Zane. I'm not going anywhere, just tell me what happened."
"I can't stop thinking about what I'm going to do him. I want to go kill them both right now."
"Zane, who? Tell me what the hell is going on!" I shouted.
"I just need something to take my mind off it, I need you, Ivy, please, baby.”
Zane picked me up and laid me down on the couch. He aggressively ripped my clothes off and pulled down my panties. I dried the tears that were falling from his eyes and told him everything was going to be ok. He lowered his body on to mine, and brought his lips to me. He kissed me with so much force and conviction, he rubbed my breasts and squeezed them together, before taking my nipples into his mouth. Zane’s body was shaking, and his hard dick rubbing up against my bare pussy was driving me insane. Something was hurting him, but he was turning his pain into my pleasure. I couldn't control my breathing when I felt his tongue enter me. Zane put my legs around his shoulders and made me experience something that was beyond my wildest dreams. The multiple orgasms I had back to back caused me to yell out in ecstasy.
"Oh my God, I'm about to cum again."
Zane dropped my legs and slid into me. He moved in and out me with powerful strokes. The adrenaline rushing through his body made him pump fast and hard. Sweat dripped down his face, his eyes were closed, and his nose flared.
"Zane, look at me." He opened his eyes. "Whatever you are going through, we are going to get through together. Do you believe that?"
"Yes," he whispered.
Zane continued to look at me, and tears rolled down his face as he reached his peak and exploded inside of me. He collapsed on top of me, and placed soft kisses on my neck. His body trembled, and I softly rubbed his back.
"I'm sorry I left without telling you, but I had to get out of this city quick. It was just my luck when I got a call from Tangie telling me someone wanted me to come out to Miami to do a car for them. Nobody knew but Tangie and my mama. I got a lot of respect for you, and I owed you that much. I didn’t know what to do with rage that was inside of me, so for my own sanity, I left to get away."
"I'm past that, just tell me what's wrong, so I can help you fix it?"
"Just tell me what you did after you found about Xavier and your cousin."
"Why?! What does that have to do with anything, Zane? I don't want to talk about it!"
"I need you to, because when I kill Berg and Timeka, I'm going to need you to get through it."
I was almost certain I heard Zane say Berg and Timeka. I couldn't fully process it all, because the banging on the door cause
d us both to put on own clothes and get up in a hurry. Zane opened the door, and it was Sunjai.
"I've been blowing your damn phone up! Both of y’all c'mon, something happened at the shop, Zane!"
Zane
Those two weeks I spent away from Detroit did me some good. I had a chance to clear my mind and think things over, but when the Detroit air hit my nostrils, the rage I tried to leave behind resurfaced. How could Berg, my cousin, my brother, my blood, go and do something like that to me? The fucked up part is, I didn't give a fuck about Berg fucking Timeka. But how could he be so cut throat to do it where my daughter lays her head? We slept in the same bed when we were kids, ran the streets when we were adolescents, and now as grown men, we were business owners together. Through the good, bad, and ugly, I've always had his back. We both saved each other from so many ass whooping's it wasn't funny. We bust guns and broke bread together. He knew all my secrets, and I knew his. He was my brother from another mother, and no matter how much I disagreed with how he handle things at times, he was blood, my brother, and I loved him.
I envisioned the look of agony of his mother's face standing at his casket. I could see my mama being carried out the church because the pain was unbearable. I pictured his son crying, and asking why his daddy couldn't come home, and then I saw me. I saw me staring down at him, wishing I would had made another choice. I was beating myself up that I killed my cousin, and I was responsible for the grief in the room. I knew then that I had to get rid of these thoughts in my head, but I couldn't. Family, friend, or foe, nobody crossed me. Nobody played with my intelligence, and nobody would hurt my daughter. He didn't even stop to think how his actions would affect Zanaya. Berg didn't care, all he saw was pussy.
"Stay here while I go talk to the police." I told Ivy.
Ivy hadn't said much and me either. My current reality was her past, and I couldn't blame her for not wanting to relive it again. My heart was broken, and it wasn't by an outsider or another woman, it was my blood, and that I couldn't fathom. After talking to the police, the alarm in the building went off, and the shop had been vandalized. Every single window was broken, and every office in the building has been trashed. The work area had paint splashed all over the walls, and my prized car was stripped, and some of the expensive parts were taken off, including my custom rims. The built-in security cameras installed inside my office were completely destroyed, and now I had no way of seeing who vandalized the shop.