by Candi B
“You snake ass bitch!” I yelled. I hit him in his face, and he swung back. I ducked and caught him again.
“Nigga, you the snake! She was mine first, nigga! She was my girl!” Berg shouted, and swung again me. He missed, and I connected a left punch.
“Nigga, you fucked my baby mama all because you liked her?”
“Fuck Timeka! I fucked Timeka because you took her. You took Ivy away from me, nigga!”
“I knew it! You always in my way, bitch!” Monique jumped at Ivy.
I don't remember anyone pulling out a gun, or shots being fired, but I felt the pain of the bullet ripping through my shoulder, and another one hitting my leg. I dropped to the ground and Berg was hit too. I heard Ivy and Monique both screaming. I was losing a lot of blood, and my eyes got heavy. Seconds later, it was lights out.
Berg
“Daddy, where are you going? And can I go with you?” I asked my pops.
Him and my mama had just got into a big fight about the money that was missing out of their joint account. Seemed like that’s all the fussed about lately was money. The last argument was over the mortgage, and how my dad had given my mama to pay for it, and then weeks later, my dad finds a late payment notice. Even at eleven years old, I knew thing were bad between my mama and pops. My dad worked at a chemical plant, and my mama was supposed to be a stay at home mom, but she was turning into a stay at home crackhead. My dad didn’t know it yet, but I caught her a few times coming out of one of the trap houses a few streets over. She did her best to keep her addiction away from my pops, but she was slowly letting it take over, and fuck up what was my happy home.
Sad thing is, she never explained to me why she was coming out the house. Instead, she sent me to go get her some cigarettes, and told me if I told my pops, she would lock me in basement when he went to work. I didn’t care, I would just crawl out the window, but I wasn’t going to tell my pops anyway. See, my mama was always doing some shit to make my father leave, and if I told my pops she was smoking on a pipe, he would leave us for good this time.
“Yeah, put your shoes on, and hurry up, I can’t be late.”
I hurried and ran to my room and put my shoes on and ran out the door. My pops was in his truck waiting one me. I opened the door and climbed inside. My dad was always working, so any chance I got time to spend time with him, I did.
“So, what’s been going on down at the school? Ya mama told me you and Melo got in trouble for sticking up for Ivy and Sunjai.”
Just the mention of Ivy’s name brought a smile to my face. She was so pretty, and one day, I was going to marry her. “Yeah, Pops, we did. Some boys were making fun of them, and one tried to pull her dress up, so me and Melo handled that.” I halfway told the truth.
I did stand up for them, but when one of the boys hit me and pushed me down, Melo stepped in and delivered a punch to his face that sent him crying to the nurse’s station
“You real sweet on Ivy, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I like her a lot, Pops. I’m going to make her my girl.”
My pops chuckled. “Well, she must be something special if you are fighting for her. I won’t put you on punishment this time, because you stood up for something that you felt was right, and I would have done the same thing if I was in your shoes.”
My dad pulled up to an abandoned building and told me he would be right back. I played around with the buttons in his truck until I saw him rushing out the building. He jumped in the truck, but we didn’t make it far before bullets emptied into his truck. My daddy shielded my body with his, and when the bullets stopped firing, I waited for him to get up, but he never did. My clothes was covered in his blood and I opened the door so I could get out. My pops’ limp body fell off the seat, and I stared at him before I took off running to God knows where. I eventually found my way back home, and when I burst through the door, I expected to see my mama, but she wasn’t in her normal spot watching TV.
I burst through her door out of breathe, cold, and hungry. She shouted for me to close the door, but it was too late. I saw the pipe and the rock in her hands, she didn’t care that I was covered in blood and she didn’t care to ask me where pops was. I ran up to my room and took off all my clothes and put them in a trash bag and hid them in the basement. I went back inside my room and cried my heart out because somebody had killed my pops. The only person who cared about me was dead and gone. I cried myself to sleep, but when I heard my mama scream, I jumped out of my bed and ran downstairs.
There were two police officers standing in our living room, one was holding my mother and the other one was looking at me with sympathy. He asked my mama if she could come down and identify my father’s body, but she was so high, all she did was cry. They told her she could come down and do it the next day. I followed the officers outside and all the neighbors had their doors open, trying to see what was going on. Ivy and Sunjai were sitting on her porch, and I smiled when Ivy smiled at me.
“Hey.” I said, to the officers. They turned around and I looked them dead in the eyes. “Do you know what happened to my pops?”
“Son-”
“Don’t call me son, my father is dead, and I just want to know what happened. I’m a man, I can take it, just tell me please.” I let the emotions get the best of me and I started crying.
The black officer looked me in my eyes, and told me straight up that my father was involved in a drug transaction gone bad. I didn’t believe it, my pops went to work, and it was my mama who did drugs. Why would my pops take me with him while he was selling drugs? I went back inside the house, and as soon as I stepped in, my mama slapped me across my face.
“It was your fault. You killed your father, I know you did. I saw your clothes, Briceon, tell me the truth.”
“I didn’t kill him, Mama, I swear, I didn’t,” I cried.
“Dry your face and shut the fuck up. I’m happy the motherfucker is dead. Now I can spend our money in peace. Mama will make sure you get a nice chunk of Daddy’s insurance policy. Good job, baby.”
From that day forward, my mama treated me like shit, and fell deeper, and deeper, into her depression. She didn’t give a fuck about nothing pertaining to me. I ate most of my meals at Melo or Xavier’s house. I remember walking out my mama's house twelve years ago after she slapped me across my face for not cleaning up the drink she spilled. I looked across the street, and it was like love at first sight. She was the most beautiful person I had ever saw. In detail, I can remember the yellow dress and white shoes she wore. Her hair was braided to the side, and she had a small yellow bow on the end. I made sure every Sunday, at nine o’ clock in the morning, I was on the porch to watch Ivy and her family go to church. It was the only time I could see Ivy dressed up.
She was pretty to me when she wasn't, but on Sundays, she was stunning. This particular dress was the one that stood out, because it showed just how much she was growing up. Her breasts were developing, and her butt was starting to poke out. I noticed everything about her, and I wanted her to be my girl, but Ivy never noticed me back. Me, Ivy, Sunjai, and Xavier, were click tight, and we hung out in the neighborhood.
I noticed the googly eyes and attention Ivy and Xavier showed each other. I thought by writing her a love letter every day, and putting them in her mailbox would take her attention off Xavier and on me, but it never did. I would peep in her window and watch her lay across her bed and read the letters I wrote. She would blush, and pick her favorite teddy bear to hold. I would give my whole life to be that teddy bear. One hot ass day, we were sitting on the stairs debating if we wanted to go swimming or not. Just out of the blue, Ivy told us she had an admirer, and she wanted to know who it was. I was feeling brave as fuck that day, and right when I got ready to claim it was me, Xavier’s ol lying ass stood up and took all my credit and glory. I just sat there like a bitch and watched him take my girl.
All through middle school and high school, I had to watch Xavier be with my girl. I watched him make her cry, break her heart,
and treat her like shit. Even when he moved away, all she talked about was him, and it drove me insane knowing she couldn’t stop loving him. Ivy was responsible for her own mishaps, and if she would have chosen me, she wouldn't know anything about the pain Xavier caused her. She was that special to me, and I would never do those things to her. Between my mama’s drug habit, and me being beat from shit that wasn't in my control, the love in my heart started to fade away. I didn't give a fuck about nothing. I separated myself from the group, and I started acting out in school. My mama's drug habit had taken over, and when they caught her on school property trying to buy drugs, the school called the police and the police called Child Protective Services. My Aunt Viola came to my rescue, and took me to live with her and my cousins across town.
"Berg, wake up, baby, please." It sounded like Monique, but I wasn't sure.
"It's ok, baby, I'm going to go check on Zane, I'll be right back." I heard my Aunt Viola tell her.
The bullet should have hit Zane in his fucking heart, because he didn't need that motherfucker. When I saw Ivy sitting in her truck with Sunjai, I couldn't believe it was her. I heard about her and Xavier getting married, but when she told me they weren't together anymore, I felt like the clouds were moving, and God came down Himself and told me this was my chance. She was happy to see me, and when she got out of her truck to give me hug, I didn't want to let her go. She was where she belonged, in my arms. If ol girl wasn't in the car, who knows? I might have taken her out to eat. Ivy hadn't changed a bit, and she was even more beautiful to me. My feelings for her resurfaced, and I was going to change my ways for her. I slowed down talking to all the different women, and I was even trying to ease away from my baby mama. I was struck in the heart again when I heard Ivy fucking Zane in his office. Once again, Ivy overlooked me, and fell for the bad guy.
"Berg, you’re awake!" Monique had tears coming out of her eyes.
"Berg, baby!" My aunt came into the room. "Are you ok, baby? What in the entire hell is going on with you and Zane?"
"I don't know, Auntie. I told you it's that bitch, Ivy."
"Oh, so now she's a bitch? What is really going on? Because I swear I heard you yell Ivy was yours." Monique said. I looked at her and gave a look that said shut the fuck up.
"Now, wait a damn minute, how is Ivy yours when she's with my brother?" My cousin, Tasie, asked.
"That's because this motherfucker is sick, and got an obsession with my girl." Zane walked into the room. His shoulder was in a bandage, and his leg was wrapped up. Ivy, Sunjai, and Tangie, followed behind.
"Berg, I don't know how I got involved in this, but you need to know that you and I will never be nothing more than friends. I'm in love with Zane, and I don't know how I could, but I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea."
"Why, Ivy? All these years I've been in love with you, and you never thought once about giving me a chance. I poured my heart out to you in those letters, and you picked Xavier over me! Fuck you, bitch! Fuck you, Zane. I hope Timeka’s baby is mine!"
Everyone in the room gasped, and my Aunt Viola walked over to me and slapped the fuck out of me. Fuck everybody in whole room! No one cared about my pain, or cared to listen to listen to my struggles. Zane thought he was the shit, and he walked around like he was the King. The shop was ours, and he treated it like it was his. I was my own fucking boss, and I came and went as I pleased. Fuck Tangie for running back and telling Zane everything I fucking did, that bitch needed to find her a man and leave me the fuck alone. Since the moment I went to live with them, Tasie’s fat ass never like me, and that's why I put her baby daddy on some of my old hoes. My Aunt Viola was the only one I genuinely cared about, because she took me in and treated me like I was her son. My mama only called me or came around when she needed something.
"Oh, Berg, what were you thinking? Why did you do this?" My Aunt Viola started to sob, and I felt like shit.
"Fuck Zane. He took away the only thing I ever loved. He's always trying to outdo me, and make himself feel like he's better than me! It was my idea to open the shop!"
"Nigga, if I didn’t have this wrap on my arm, I'd beat your ass again for making my mama cry. Nigga, I've always had your back, and everywhere I went, I took you with me! It was your idea to open up a mechanic shop, but it was me who said let's dream a little bit bigger, nigga. I put up most of the money to open the shop, because you spent most of your money on tricking for these bitches. Nigga, did I ask you for any of it back? Hell no, I didn't, because you were my brother you were my fucking blood! You did all this for what? To hurt me, nigga. You hurting yourself because the only people whoever had your back is in this room, and when we leave, what the fuck do you got? Huh, motherfucker?!" Zane was yelling at the top of his lungs.
"You ain't never had by back in shit. I don't need any of you." Tangie walked in the room with my son and Zanaya. My son asked me was I ok, and Zanaya had a get well soon card she had made herself.
"Excuse me, but I need to leave." Monique grabbed our son, and tried to walk out the door, but Ivy stopped her.
"Get the fuck out my way." Monique scolded Ivy.
"Since secrets are being exposed, and your baby daddy loves sleeping with other people’s baby mamas, don't you think you should tell him how you love sleeping with other people's husbands?" Ivy stood in front of Monique with her arms folded.
"What is she talking about, Monique? And where are you taking my son?"
"Now is not the time, Ivy. Don't do this in front of my son." Monique begged her.
"Why not? You showed up to my apartment, and you didn't give a fuck about my feelings, or your son. You dropped him off and left him with me until his real daddy showed up."
"I am his real daddy. Monique, bitch, I swear I'll kill yo ass, what the fuck is she talking about?” I yelled.
"Take these kids out of here now, they don't need to hear all of this foolishness." Aunt Viola shouted. Tasie took the kids out the room, and Monique stared at Ivy with death in her eyes. If Monique had a gun, Ivy would be dead on her back.
"Monique, you better say something, before I get up and ring your fucking neck. Bitch, what the fuck is she talking about?"
"Nigga, shut the fuck up! Your punk ass ain't gon’ do shit to me. While you were running around town sleeping with Nikki, and all your other hoes, I was doing my own thing too. You got me fucked up if you think I'm going to be sitting at home like some fucking maid, waiting on your ass, like some people." She looked at Ivy.
"Bitch, fuck you. The truth is, Berg, she has been fucking around with Xavier for years, and that isn't your son. He belongs to Xavier." Ivy revealed, with no regards to my feelings.
Everyone gasped again, and I felt like all the air had been sucked out of my body. You mean to tell me, the little boy that I'm raising, is not mine? The little boy who has been calling me daddy for the last six years, isn't mine? Nah, Ivy was lying, and was trying to get back at me because of how Monique treated her. Couldn’t nobody tell me he wasn’t mine, I could look at him and see me, hell no, he was my son.
"That shit doesn't feel good. You gave your trust someone, and they turned around in stabbed you in the back. I hope that shit hurts like hell. " Zane taunted me.
I couldn't respond. My lips quivered and I was doing everything I could to keep from crying. I did a lot of fucked up shit in my life, and I did some good shit too, but my son was my pride and joy. I’d give my life for him. Monique stood there with tears running down her eyes. She couldn’t even look at me, and that confirmed what Ivy was saying. I couldn’t wait until my wounds were healed. I was going to kill Monique.
"What the fuck are you crying for?! You ripped my heart right out, man." I could contain it anymore. I cried like a fucking baby, and like always, nobody gave a damn.
"I'm sorry, Berg, all I ever wanted was for you to love me. I wasn't thinking about getting at Xavier, until I heard you say Ivy's name one night. You’re always talking about her, and I got jealous, so I talked myself into finding who she
was, and I went after Xavier. I never loved him, all I wanted was for you to love me."
"Cry an ocean, both of you nut jobs belong with each other." Zane said. He tried to leave out the room.
"Zane, get cho ass back in here, and close that damn door." Aunt Viola told him. He turned around and came back in the room. "I will not let my family walk out of this hospital in shambles. Berg, if I didn't love you, I would tell you to come clean your room and never bring your ass back to my house. I know your childhood wasn't the best, and that's why I tried my hardest to treat you like one of my own. What you did was cutthroat, and what you showed was you are a person that can't be trusted. It may take some time for me to forgive you, but if my son never speaks to you again, I'm quite alright with that. You need some professional help, and I pray you go and get the help you need. Zane, I see the anger in you, son, and it ain't good. You better make amends with this, or it's going to take you somewhere dark. You and Berg are like brothers, and I've heard of brothers who have done worse shit to each other. Not right now, but you have to forgive him, baby. Monique, I've always thought you were a little too quiet and sneaky, but you don't get a free pass in the either. You got two men thinking they are the father of that boy out there. If one of them whoop your ass, I can't blame them, because what you did was low down and dirty. All y’all are fucked in the head, and it's because of the hurt inside of you. All this sleeping with who, don’t fucking matter right now, the biggest issue is finding out who the hell shot you two.”
With all the drama, I had forgot about someone shooting at us. “It was Melo, I saw his car.”
Timeka
"Hey, boo, I haven't seen you in a hot lil minute. You been ok?" My hair stylist, LaQushia, asked me. Since Zanaya was with her daddy, I decided to get some me time and go get my hair done up.
"Girl, I've been good, how about you?"
"Same ol shit, just a different day. How's Zanaya?" She asked.
"Girl, bad as ever, but that's my baby. I'll be getting the usual." I told her.