by Candi B
I had to cut the conversation off with LaQuisha quick, because she was too nosy. She was a beast with the clippers and weave, but she also was a beast with running her mouth too. Couldn't nothing get passed LaQuisha and her shop. This place was like a walk in Shade Room, all you had to do was bring up a person's name, and the chatter begins.
"Timeka, you know I saw Zane out with another girl the other day." Rochelle, another hairstylist, told me. If it wasn't LaQuisha, it was Rochelle starting drama.
"Girl, that was his cousin, I know all about them going out." I lied.
Rochelle snickered. "Well, it’s some incest shit going on, because when did cousins start kissing and holding hands? I saw them at Club Celebrity on old folks night, and baby, let me tell you, Zane is in love with his cousin."
"Rochelle, please finish braiding her scalp down, and shut up, but girl, that's not his cousin, that's Ivy from the hood. You know, the one who used to be married to Xavier?"
I was shocked to find out she had been married. "Not the Xavier who was sleeping with half the women around Detroit?"
"That's his ass." LaQuisha confirmed.
Everyone knew Xavier was married, but when he was around town, I never saw his wife. Rumor was, Xavier had Ivy so depressed that she was stayed inside the house because she had lost so much weight and was slowly losing her mind. From the Ivy I saw, that was the furthest from the truth, because she looked happy, and happy with my man.
"Look, girl, ain't no need to be ashamed or make excuses for that nigga. As long as he keeps paying your bills and taking care of your daughter, fuck what anyone else has to say." LaQuisha and Rochelle high fived each other.
"Ok, I feel that, and if you really want to get even, girl, just start fucking any one of her brothers. I heard Demarcus and Roddrick was out here making real money moves. That Range Rover Ivy’s driving in, I hard they paid for it." Rochelle stated.
"Girl, stop lying I heard she got it from the money she stole from Xavier. I don't blame her, I would have took his money to if he cheated on me with my cousin." Another girl I didn't know jumped in.
"Bitch, shut up! I know you lying, which one?"
"Sharaya, girl! I heard Ivy whooped her ass and made her lose the baby she was carrying, and then I heard Sharaya was cheating on Xavier, and left town to go be with the real baby daddy. Girl, it's just too much going on with that situation, but Sharaya hasn't been seen in Detroit in months, girl."
I let them sit back and talk about Ivy and Zane like I wasn't there. Something was up with Ivy, and I was going to get to the bottom of it. All this was news to my ears, and I bet Zane didn't know the half of it. If I found out the real on Ivy, I could tell Zane, and he would know that I had his back. He would thank me and I would get back in his good graces.
"You got to be a weak, insecure ass hoe, to stay with a nigga after he's done all that shit to you." I said.
"Girl, I don't know too much about Ivy, but from what I see, girlfriend’s living her best life. Xavier the one out here looking weak, I heard he sold his house and his Beemer." Rochelle revealed.
"Bitch, you heard? Let me find out you fucking that nigga." LaQuisha rolled her eye at Rochelle.
"Bitch, he got some good dick, but that's all he got. I can't do shit else with him, so he must go. Just make me cum and go on, nigga." The girls in the shop laughed.
LaQuisha washed and flat ironed my hair, I paid her and decided to stop at Wendy’s to get me something to eat. Word traveled fast, and when I heard that Zane had been shot, I dropped everything and went to the hospital. Imagine loving a man majority of your whole life, and he looks at you like you’re the scum of the earth. Zane was the only man that my heart belonged to, but nowadays, I didn't even know if I had a heart. Zane was turning me into a scorned woman, the way he looked at me, he treated me as if I was nothing, and he talked to me like I was beneath him. It felt as if he was making me suffer from the mistake I made years ago in high school. The way I see it, everyone is entitled to one fuck up in a relationship, but my one fuck up had cost me my child father and the only man I ever loved.
It blew my mind how Zane could hold that against me, when he was secretly in love with my best friend back then. For eight whole years, Zane treated me like shit, and for eight whole years, I chased him, kissed his ass in hopes that he would just let it go and we could be a family again. It wasn't like we hadn't tried to be a family before. In my opinion, everything was going well, and we were happy, well, at least I was. At times, I did feel Zane was only there because of Zanaya, and in the back of my mind, I knew it was just a matter of time before he left me for good.
Zane was a good man, which is why I wasn't going to let him go without a fight. My mama was always telling me how my nagging and ghetto ass behavior was going to drive him away. I just needed to show him that I was all he needed, but his new bitch, Ivy, he's with, is different from all the other woman I chased off in the past. Most women these days would run from a man who had a crazy ass baby mama, but not her. She was tough one to break, and that night when Zane had her back and not mine, I knew he was feeling her. Hell, my daughter couldn't stop rambling on about her nice she was to her, and that's what really made me do the unthinkable. Zane was out of line by having that tramp around Zanaya without consulting with me. It was then I realized he really didn't give a fuck about me, and since he didn't, I was going to make him give a fuck about something.
Hooking up with his Berg was never in the forecast, I had every intention of packing me and my daughter things and getting out of Detroit, but Berg put a stop to my plans way before she showed up. He showed up at the house a few months ago in the middle of us packing, and asked were we going on a trip. I told him I was taking Zanaya to visit some relatives, and he asked did Zane know. I knew I was caught red handed then, so I just told him the truth. I expressed how I felt about Zane, and how he was treating me. One thing led to another, and that was the first time me and Berg slept together. Berg was my eyes and ears, and he would come back and tell me all of Zane and Ivy’s business. I wish I felt bad about it, but I don't, and I don't know if that was a good thing or bad thing. I stepped off the elevator on Zane’s floor, and his sister, Tasie, was in the hallway with Zanaya and Berg's son. Zanaya ran to me and started telling me that her daddy was ok.
"You got some nerve bringing yo trifling ass up here." Tasie gave me an ugly look.
"I don't know what your problem is, but I'm here to check on my child’s father. You can lose the attitude, Tasie. I ain't never did shit to you." I told her. None of Zane’s sisters ever liked me. I'm sure Zane had filled their heads up with bullshit stories about me, but I was with Zane, not them, so Tasie and her attitude can kiss my ass.
"Bitch, you hurt my brother, so you did do something to me. If my niece wasn't here, I would whoop your ass back into that elevator. You need to leave, you are not welcomed here."
"This is a public hospital, and If I'm not welcome here, neither is my daughter. I didn't come here to cause any trouble, I just wanted to see if my child’s father was ok."
"Which one?" Tasie said, with a smirk on her face. “You know what? Go on in there and check on your baby daddy.”
I caught what she said and the little giggle on the end. If she was talking about what I was thinking, then I needed to get my daughter and get the fuck out this hospital. If Zane knew I was fucking his cousin, shit was going to end badly for me, but Zane hadn't shown me any signs that he knew my dirty little secret. He would have showed up to the house in a rampage and showed his ass, and I'm sure if he did, Berg would have put me up on game. Tasie was being her normal messy self and was trying to start some shit. If she knew about her own baby daddy, trust, she wouldn’t be speaking up on my situation. I rolled my eyes at her, and proceeded to open the door. I walked inside the room, and all eyes were fixed on me. Everyone was glaring at me and had their noses turned up.
“Lord, please control my mouth and hands.” Tangie had her eyes closed, and her hands in a prayin
g position.
"Timeka, right now is not a good time. You can come back to visit Berg at a later time." Mrs. Viola told me. Mrs. Viola gave me a disappointing look. I looked at Berg, and he looked away from me.
"Um, I'm not here to see Berg, I was checking up on Zane."
The look Zane gave me made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. His eyes were dark, his lips quivered, and his hands were trembling. His bitch stood in front of him trying to get his attention, but he continued to stare at me with so much hatred in his eyes. It was clear to me that the secret was out, and everyone in the room knew that me and Berg were messing around. I felt like the hoe everyone thought I was, there was no way Zane would ever be with me now. I turned to walk away, but the door closed, and I didn't have to turn around to know it was Zane who closed the door.
"Bitch, you don't get to leave and walk away without hearing what the fuck I got to say. You ain't nothing but a low down, dirty ass, slut, and I be damn if I let you raise my daughter up to be just like you. From here on out, you ain't shit to Zanaya but a fucking memory, you hear me, bitch? You can never be a good enough mother to her, because you got hoe in your blood. You don't give a fuck about her, because if you did, you wouldn't have fucked her uncle!" He shouted. "You could have gone after any nigga in the world, but you chose my blood. I never want to look at you or see your face again. If you come around Zanaya again, I'll put a bullet between your eyes. You ain't nothing to her, and don't think otherwise."
“I’m sorry! I know what I did was wrong, but I love you, Zane. All I ever wanted was for us to be a family. You broke my heart when you chose her instead of me.”
“It doesn’t matter who I’m with, Timeka. I will never choose you! I tried doing the right thing by taking care of you, because you were the mother of my child, but that was my fuck up. What a nigga gotta do to show you that he don’t give a fuck about you no more? Oh, I see, I gotta put a bitch in ya face. Come here, Ivy, baby.”
“No, Zane. Stop it, for real. I would never stoop as low as she did, but I know all about loving a man who don’t love you back, so I won’t let you use me to disrespect her. I think she gets it this time, baby. Let’s just focus on you getting better.”
“See, this the reason why I’m crazy behind you, girl.” I watched the way he looked at her with so much love and passion. She was changing him, and it was heart shattering that it wasn’t me tending to his needs and wants.
Tears slid down my eyes as he spoke to me so brutal, and put another woman in my face. The only thing that connected me and Zane was Zanaya, and he was giving me an ultimatum. I had saw Zane with my own two eyes kill a man and go to sleep at night like it was nothing. I've seen the beast inside him, and he was serious, it was either give him our daughter, or he would take my life. I turned around, hoping the tears running down my eyes would soften him up and make him rethink his decision.
"Please, Zane, don't take my daughter away from me, she is the only thing I got." I tried to reason with him.
"Timeka, I suggest you walk out that door and never look back." Zane said, in a low, but serious tone.
“I would never hurt her. Please, Mrs. Viola, talk some sense into your son. " I pleaded. Mrs. Viola didn't have an ounce of sympathy for me. If there was someone who could make Zane change his mind, it as her, and she didn't stand up for what was right. From mother to mother she didn’t try to understand where I was coming from. “I made a mistake, Zane! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I cried. "Berg, say something!"
"I ain't got shit to say to you. I had you, I used you, and now it's over." Berg looked at me with disgust.
"You motherfucker! You came on to me first! I told you how much I was in love with Zane and wanted my family, but you lied and told me that Zane and Ivy were having a baby, and I should move on with my life. You wanted me to burn down the shop, but I told you no! It was Berg’s idea to call you, not mine, Zane. He manipulated me from the start, can't you see he used me, Zane? I love you, Zane. I would never hurt you." I poured my heart out.
"She's lying, Zane, she wanted me, and that's why she kept coming back. Ask her how she begged me to bend her over in Zanaya's bed and fuck her senseless." Berg lied through his teeth.
None of that mattered, Zane rushed past me and pulled Berg on the floor. I tried to leave out the room again, but Tasie had it purposely blocked. I felt my hair being pulled, and Tangie punched me in my face. I was dazed, and then Monique, Berg’s baby mama punched me again. Ivy tried to get Monique off of me, but Monique pushed Ivy, and Ivy hit her with a two-piece combination. My hair was being ripped from my scalp, and I had been on the receiving end of Ivy’s blows, and I wanted no parts of her. I fought my way to the door, and ran out the hospital, leaving my daughter behind.
I cried all the way home and I sat in my car and cried some more. Everything was all my fault. I did this to myself, Zane, and our daughter. There had to be another way, because this wasn't it, despite my trivial ways, I was a good mama and I wasn't just going to hand over my daughter. That was too much like giving up, and I would never give up on her. I turned my car off and went inside my house. I flicked the light switch on, and the lights didn't come on. Zane made sure the bills were paid on time, and the current bill was on my table. I went back outside to see if maybe there was an outage, but everyone around me had electricity. I called the cable company and they informed me that there was a work order to have the lights disconnected. Zane had paid to have the lights switched off and out of his name. I paid the security deposit to have the lights put in my name, and went back inside my dark ass house.
I never imagined things would have went this far. I remembered when Zane purchased this house for me. I feel in love with it, because I could see myself raising our children here. I could see us getting married in the backyard. None of that would happen now. I pulled the blanket over my head and closed my eyes. Maybe Zane having Zanaya right now wasn't a bad idea. I needed to get my shit together, and tomorrow, I had no other option but to get up and go look for a job if I ever wanted to see my daughter again.
Ivy
“Zane, just please calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to fucking calm down, Ivy. Unless you want me to take my anger out on you, I suggest you go home.”
“I’m not going no damn where, and shoot your best shot. You sitting your big ass up here pouting like you the only person that’s hurting! It’s been a week, and your daughter has been begging to see her mama!”
“What me and my daughter got going on don’t have shit to do with you!”
“You know what, motherfucker? You are so right! Don’t none of this have anything to do with me, and you know why? Because you ain’t acting like my nigga! If we’re together, what affects you, affects me, and I’m not going to stand back and bite my fucking tongue when I have an opinion about something. That ain’t how things works, and will never work.”
Zane sucked his teeth. “Look, calm the fuck down and gather yourself. I got to go to work, are you going to watch Zanaya for a couple of hours?”
“Didn’t you tell me to go home? I’m going home, and you can figure this all out on your own, since it don’t have shit to do with me.”
I got up from the couch and put my shoes on. Zane and his emotions were all over the place, and I was tired of his tantrums. On some days he acted worse than Zanaya, but she had a legitimate reason. She was missing her mama, and no matter how much Zane hated Timeka, his daughter was suffering because he couldn’t get out of his feelings. I opened the door, but was stopped when Zane’s arms circled around me. Like always, I melted into his arms and I calmed down.
“I’m sorry, Ivy. You know I haven’t been thinking straight, but I can’t have both of my babies mad at me. You technically are Zanaya’s step mama, and I’m sorry for lashing out on you. You know you my lil thug baby.”
I giggled at thug baby. "Zane, if we are going to be together, then the lines of communication have to be open at all times. I want to know how you are feeling, w
hen you are mad, or happy about something. I don't want to feel left out when it comes to anything in your life."
"You and Zanaya are my life, and I'm sorry if I left you feeling uncertain, but I got us, baby. If it wasn't for you, there'd be smoke in this motherfucking city, but you my calm in the storm. All I care about is making sure you and Zanaya are safe, and I'm about to lose my mind because I can't find that nigga Xavier or Melo anywhere. Those niggas better count their fucking days."
I sighed. "Baby, only cowards hide, and if they not trying to be found, it's because they know what the outcome is going to be already. Stop letting shit you can't control, control you. There's a whole other situation that requires your attention right now."
"And what's that?'
"Zanaya. She wants her mama."
Zane sighed and went to sit back on the couch. I followed him and sat next to him. "Fuck, I know, man. My baby mad at me, but I can't let her go back with Timeka. Timeka’s heart’s too damn tainted, and I don't want her rubbing that off on Zanaya."
"You may not care for my opinion, but I'm going to give it to you anyway. Zanaya is old enough to differentiate how she feels about both her parents. Both of you give her something different in your own way. If Timeka was such a bad mother, do you think Zanaya would be in her room mad at you right now? You and Timeka have a lot to work out, but that doesn't mean Timeka doesn't love Zanaya just as much as you do. In the hospital room, I didn't see the scandalous woman, I saw a mother grieving for her daughter. You are only keeping Zanaya away because you don't want to look at Timeka. All the pain, lies, betrayal, you see when you see her mother, and I'm here to tell you those feelings ain't gon’ never go away. Don't punish your daughter, and don't take away the other part of her who makes her who she is."
"Don’t ever think your opinion doesn’t matter, because it does. You know she hasn't even called to check on her, so why should I let her go back there?"
"I don't think I would call either, knowing that my baby daddy was a fucking maniac, and threatened to put a bullet between my eyes."