Be My Everything (Brothers From Money Book 11)
Page 11
Marissa waited patiently for Jack to speak, although it cost her, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what he’d done but she wasn’t going to help him. “I don’t want to tell you this because it makes me look like a total jerk.” Jack began, then told Marissa what he’d done.
When he’d finished she looked at him for a long time, “It’s a miracle she still talks to you.” she finally said, then added when Jack’s face fell, “but if she feels the same way you do she’ll forgive you.”
It was almost comical to see the change in Jack face, “Do you really think so?”
“I do, but you’re going to have to be honest with her. Tell her everything, even how much you were hurt.”
Jack wasn’t wild about the idea. It had been hard enough to tell Marissa, and telling Chloe was going to be really difficult. Marissa must have known what he was thinking because she said, “Don’t let your pride get in the way of fixing what you did. Chloe is a good woman; she might be young but she’d done more in her life than a lot of people much older people have done. Jack she’d been hurt too. I don’t know the details but someone broke her heart.”
“I’ll do it, but I don’t know when. She wouldn’t even let me walk her to her truck the last time I asked, and I’m not having this discussion in front of everyone.” Jack wined, making Marissa think of a little boy.
“I guess this is where I come in.” Marissa said, her mind spinning with possibilities. Then it hit her, “We haven’t had a barbeque in quite a while, summer is going to be over soon, it’s the perfect excuse.”
“You’re going to plan a barbeque just so I can talk to Chloe? Isn’t that a bit much?” Jack asked, suddenly afraid he’d bitten off more than he could chew.
“Do you have a better idea?”
There was nothing that Marissa loved more than planning a party so by the end of the week she’d picked a date, hired the caterer and notified everyone in the canyon. To make sure that Chloe was there, she told her that it was a welcome party for all the new residents of the canyon. She and Jack concocted a plan that would allow him to get Chloe away from the party and alone so he could talk to her.
When Chloe heard about the barbeque she tried to sound excited like Marissa wanted her to, but it was hard to summon any enthusiasm for anything but her job these days. As much as she’d tried to put Jack behind her, consider their time together a learning experience, it was impossible. She’d let him so far into her heart that it was going to be a long time before she got over him. Maybe it would have been easier if it had been more than just one night but deep down she knew that it wouldn’t have mattered.
There was something inside Jack that called to her, each time she saw him that attraction between them still sprang to life but he ignored it like it wasn’t there. She desperately wanted to ask him why he’d turned away from her, what she’d done to cause it but she didn’t really want to hear the answer, knowing that it would only hurt her more to hear him say he was just satisfying his needs or something equally hurtful.
But Marissa had made it clear that she was expected to be there, a welcome from the canyon for all the new residents couldn’t be missed by anyone. So she kept her schedule clear for that day, dreading seeing Jack and Josh in a social situation for the first time since he’d hurt her. She’d just have to keep her distance from them, which shouldn’t be all that hard to do since there would be lots of people there.
On the day of the barbeque, she chose her outfit carefully deciding that looking good that day would go a long way toward helping her enjoy the fun. Her ego had taken a hit thanks to Jack and it was time to rebuild a little of her self-esteem. She pulled a sundress from the back of her closet, one she rarely wore because it left a lot of skin exposed and tried it on, deciding it would be the perfect thing.
Sliding on her favorite sandals, she looked at herself in the mirror and decided that she’d wear her hair down, something she rarely did. It fell in soft waves around her face, accentuating her eyes and softening her face, skipping makeup she left the cabin determined to have a good time at the barbeque. It was time to stop letting Jack mess up her life, she’d had a taste of what could happen between them, but it was time to move on.
Jack had planned everything for the night of the barbeque very carefully including scouting out a romantic spot where they could talk alone. What he had to tell her was not pleasant but he knew that the only hope he had of making things right was telling her the truth. It wouldn’t be easy and he hoped that the romantic setting might help him plead his cause.
After he’d left Marissa’s house that day, he’d begun to doubt her plan, even to doubt what he thought he was feeling for Chloe. But when he got home that night she was just getting home as well and they were forced to wave to one another across the yard, one look at her told him all he needed to know. Not only was he attracted to her, but now he felt something more, not only hope but the beginning of what he thought was love.
He’d once been sure that he loved Isobel but what he’d felt for her hadn’t been love, it had been infatuation, and now he knew all too well what that felt like. But the infatuation he’d felt for Chloe in the beginning had mellowed to something deeper, something that deserved to be explored before he simply threw it away. Now he knew that love involved so much more than what he and Isobel had shared.
It amazed him to realize that although he was 35 years old, he still didn’t know what real love felt like. Sure he loved Josh but that was a different kind of love, nothing like what he was feeling for Chloe. Just thinking about her made him smile, the way she took over in a crisis, the way she cared for every animal in the canyon as if they were her own, and especially the way she jumped in and helped with Josh that night.
He didn’t know how or why, but he knew that this was his chance to find the kind of happiness that he’d been looking for with Isobel. Chloe was just the kind of woman he could spend his life with. Why it had taken him so long to see that still mystified him and the worst part was that in the process he might have ruined his chances with her. The day of the barbeque he was at Honey Hills long before the other guests arrived so anxious about the night to come that he couldn’t stay home.
Chapter 11
When Jack saw Chloe for the first time that day he wanted to sweep her up in his arms and take her back to the secluded spot he’d chosen by the stream and make love to her, but that was only a dream at this point. He couldn’t help but notice the dirty look she shot his way when she saw him and his heart plummeted. This might be harder than Marissa thought it would be, but he wasn’t going to give up.
Chloe noticed Jack the minute she showed up at the barbeque. He was standing with the men over a large pit that held a huge piece of meat that was slowly turning on a split. When their eyes met across the yard, her heart skipped a beat, but determined to ignore him, she turned away without even a nod of her head. Cursing herself for not realizing how hard it would be to see Jack, she turned her attention to the first man who came along, secretly pleased when it turned out to be a rancher she’d met several times on her rounds.
He was an attractive man who had come to the valley looking for a simpler life. He’d hinted to her several times that he’d like to take her out, but she’d been so wrapped up in Jack that she’d politely refused his offer. Now she decided that it might not hurt to get to know him better, while he didn’t inspire the same desire that Jack did, he wasn’t a risk to her heart. She’d be careful not to give him the wrong impression, but it might be nice to have someone to go places with.
Before she knew what had happened, she was surrounded by all the single men in the canyon, it was alarming at first, but before long she’d relaxed and found that the attention was nice. She spent most of the afternoon and evening flirting and laughing, finding that she’d forgotten what it was like to have fun with other people. Her long struggle to get where she was had finally paid off and she was free to enjoy life for a change.
As the sun began to set and eve
ryone had eaten their fill of the wonderful food, groups began to break off to watch the fireworks that Marissa had planned. While all the rain they’d been getting had made life difficult, it meant that they could enjoy a light show that night, and Chloe was looking forward to having heard about displays from the past.
Tired of all the attention she’d chased all the men off and was headed to a quiet spot on the far side of the yard when Marissa caught up with her. “Chloe I haven’t been able to get near you all day. Are you having fun?” She asked, pointing to a couple of chairs under a tree.
“It’s been a lot of fun, but I just needed a few minutes to myself. Today has been strange, I’ve never been the center of attention like this. It’s kind of strange.” Chloe admitted.
Marissa laughed, “Well, those men have good reason to be hanging around you. Did you look at yourself in the mirror before you left the house today? You’re a beautiful woman and you have a vibrancy that draws people to you.”
Chloe didn’t know why that made her want to cry, but she felt tears come to her eyes. “Too bad not everyone agrees with that.” She said, unable to help herself.
“You mean Jack?”
Chloe looked at Marissa shocked, she didn’t think anyone knew about what had happened between them, certainly not her boss. She opened her mouth to deny it, but she couldn’t. “I....oh he’s just impossible....but....”
“It may be none of my business, but Jack’s a good guy, you should give him another chance. He made a mistake, everyone makes one now and then.” Marissa said, then added, “He hasn’t taken his eyes off you all day.”
Chloe looked over to where Jack was standing with his brothers, and met his eyes across the yard, then quickly looked away. “You don’t know what he did, Marissa. It was awful, I promised myself that I’d never let myself get hurt again, but here I am hurting.”
“I know that you’re hurting but you have to give him a chance to explain; you owe it to yourself to listen to what he has to say.” Marissa said, then got up and walked away before Chloe could say anything.
She sat there thinking about Marissa’s words which only made sense if Jack had tried to explain but he hadn’t done that. Then she remembered the day that he’d asked if he could walk her to her truck and she’d refused. It was possible that he’d been trying to explain that day but she hadn’t let him. Suddenly it seemed possible that there was more to what had happened than she’d first thought, Marissa seemed sure that there was and she’d never known Marissa to be wrong.
Jack watched as Chloe crossed the yard, he’d been green with envy all day watching the men flock around her, flirting and touching her. It had been almost impossible not to cross the yard and pull her into his arms and establish who she belonged to, but then he remembered that he had no right to lay claim to her, he’d had the chance and lost it.
When Marissa pulled her aside, he knew that the moment had come to put his plan into action, but his brothers were making it difficult for him to get away. Each time he tried to slip away they dragged him back, he was beginning to believe that they were doing it on purpose. Finally, he managed to get away by simply walking away from them, when he heard them laughing he knew that they’d somehow gotten wind of his plans, just like when they were kids they always seemed to know when he wanted to get away from them.
Pushing his brothers from his mind, he crossed the yard to where Chloe was sitting, hoping that she wouldn’t just get up and leave when she saw him coming. But she was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t even hear him approaching. Hoping not to scare her, he cleared his throat, pulling her out of her thoughts.
When Chloe saw Jack standing in front of her, her first thought was that she should flee, her sense of self-preservation calling for flight, but she stayed in her seat. Jack sat down next to her and took a deep breath of the cool night air trying to get up the nerve to begin what he knew would be a difficult conversation.
“It was a nice barbeque, you looked like you were having fun.” The sarcastic words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
“It was nice and I did have fun. I was planning to watch the fireworks alone.” Chloe said pointedly, her hopes dashed by his typically rude words.
“I’m sorry Chloe, that wasn’t what I wanted to say.” Jack tried again. “What I really wanted to do was apologize for the way I acted after we....”
“You don’t have to apologize, we never made any promises to one another, it was a fun time and that was the end of it.” She waved him off, her heart breaking to have to say the words to him again.
“But it shouldn’t be the end of it.” Jack said, pulling her to her feet. “Chloe will you give me chance to explain why I acted the way I did. Please.”
Chloe looked up at him, a tiny slice of hope beginning to form deep inside her. “If you think it’s necessary, I’m listening.” She said, trying to sit down again.
“Not here.” Jack said, taking her hand and dragging her with him onto the path that led to the stream that ran through Honey Hills.
“Jack, where are we going?” Chloe asked, not sure if she wanted to go into the trees with Jack, not sure she could trust herself if he decided to kiss her.
“I found a nice little spot where we can have some privacy.” He said, still pulling on her hand.
“I’m not having sex with you, we’ve already been there.” She said, mustering as much resistance as she could.
Jack didn’t answer her, simply took her hand more tightly in his and led the way through the trees and along the path by the stream. They walked in silence for a long time, the wonderful smell of the forest and the water working their magic on Chloe. The water which at times this summer had been a roaring torrent, was now a gentle flow creating a music all of its own. Although the night had turned chilly, Chloe was so nervous she didn’t feel the chill, instead her rapidly beating heart provided enough warmth to keep her from shivering in her skimpy dress.
When they reached the secluded spot Jack had chosen, Chloe was alarmed to see a blanket on the ground waiting for them. But Jack quickly said, “I need to talk to you and it’s going to take a little while, I just wanted you to be comfortable.”
Chloe looked at him skeptically but let him help her to sit down on the blanket, then he joined her. He’d barley let her get settled before he started his explanation, knowing that if he thought about it too much he’d screw it up.
“I’m sorry I acted the way I did, but I got scared.” He said, then waited for a response from Chloe.
He’d been hoping that she’d take his words at face value, but it was obvious that it was going to take the truth just like Marissa had predicted. Before he lost his nerve, he told her about Isobel and everything that had happened, his heart hammering in his chest when she still didn’t respond.
“Look I know it’s no excuse for treating you the way I did, but all I’m asking is for a second chance.” He finally said in desperation.
Chloe’s mind was racing with all that Jack had told her, she’d had no idea that Josh’s mother had been such a terrible person. Had she known, she might have been more understanding and listened when Jack tried to talk to her that day in the barn. But the problem was that he hadn’t cared enough about her in the beginning to explain, instead he’d just pushed her away as if her feelings didn’t really matter.
Part of her had to wonder if this was just another ploy to get her into his bed, she’d been used this way before, and not only by him. It all came down to trust and she just couldn’t trust him with her feelings again. She’d promised herself twice now not to let a man use her and this time she was keeping that promise.
“Jack, I do understand now why you did what you did, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t trust you anymore. I did once before and it turned out badly, I’m sorry but I just can’t.” Chloe said, proud of herself for sticking to her promise.
Jack couldn’t believe her words, he’d poured his heart out to her and she was still re
jecting him, but then he realized that he hadn’t quite told her everything. “Chloe, I know we haven’t known each other that long but I already care about you. It’s not the fact that we’re great together in bed, it’s you I want, all of you.”
Chloe had been preparing to leave, but Jack’s words stopped her. This was what she’d been wanting to hear, as important as it was for her to know why he’d turned away from her, she needed to hear that he cared about her. But she was still scared to trust him, the memory of Brandon’s deception feeling fresh all over again.
When she hadn’t said anything for a long time, Jack began to worry that all his words hadn’t been enough. “Chloe I know someone hurt you before. Will you tell me about it? I want to understand; I want to get to know you. I made a mistake pushing my way into your bed that day, I should have taken my time and gotten to know you first.”
Chloe should have been able to resist the request, but when she looked up into Jack’s eyes the raw emotion she saw there melted her heart. With a big sigh she began to tell him about Brandon, the story spilling out of her quickly, leaving her drained. When she’d finished it was clear that Jack was angry, his body was stiff beside her, and she was afraid that he’d lost all respect for her.
“That guy better hope that I don’t run into him. I’m sorry that happened to you Chloe. It seems that we’ve both been used by someone we thought loved us.” Jack said, pulling her into his arms.
Chloe went willingly into his arms, “I wanted to believe what we had was different but then you acted so awful. I had to protect myself.”
“I know and I’m sorry for that. I have an idea, let’s start over. I can’t undo what I did, but I can promise you that next time I get scared I’ll talk to you.” Jack said, holding his breath hoping he’d finally found the right words.
Chloe was silent for a long time, “I don’t know.” She said, looking down into her lap afraid that if she looked into his eyes she’d give in.