Nun the Wiser (A Deadly Habit Cozy Mystery Book 2)

by Morgana Best

  It was full of stuff — that was the only way to put it. Stuff. Chairs, tables, knick knacks and the like reaching from one wall to the other. Adam went in first, and I followed. It was too cluttered and too dark to see anything of use, assuming that anything that could provide a clue was in there anyway.

  I was jumpy. After all, a murder had been committed there that very day; of that I was sure. I clutched Adam’s arm. “Let’s get out of here.”

  Adam readily agreed, but just then, I turned around and looked straight into a pair of glowing green eyes.

  Chapter 3.

  I screamed and clutched Adam’s arm, causing Adam’s flashlight to swing into the face of the culprit.

  Sasha! I fought the overwhelming urge to laugh hysterically. “It’s Mrs. Sutton’s cat,” I said in an awkward voice.

  Adam put his arm around me and pulled me close. I was happy about that, yet concerned about the cat at the same time. She was perched on top of a rather heavy and hideous art deco sideboard, and was meowing plaintively.

  As reluctant as I was to leave Adam’s arms, I stepped forward and picked up the cat, who proceeded to purr loudly. “Oh dear, who will look after her now?” I said, more to myself than anyone else, but Adam answered me.

  “I think you’ve found yourself another cat.”

  I clutched the cat to me in an effort to stop trembling. “Another cat? I already have Bernard.”

  “Perhaps you have to adopt a cat from each murder victim,” Adam said, followed at once by, “Sorry, that was horribly thoughtless of me. I was trying to inject some levity into the situation.”

  I sighed. “That’s okay. I had to take Bernard as Dave didn’t have any relatives — well, apart from Bunny, and she’s afraid of cats — and as far as I know, Mrs. Sutton doesn’t have any relatives either, at least not around these parts. I suppose I’ll have to look after Sasha unless someone turns up to claim her.”

  We walked back to the Jeep. I’d lost my fear of being out here in the dark at a murder scene due to my concern for the cat.

  “What if she goes crazy on the way back?” Adam said. “Some cats don’t like being in cars.”

  “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it,” I said with confidence, albeit with visions of trying to hold onto a wild, scratching cat.

  To my relief, Sasha sat on my lap and purred the whole way. She put her paws either side of my neck and drooled down my cheek. It was not a pleasant sensation, and I wondered if that’s what it would be like to hold a baby. Then I gave myself a mental slap — I was sitting next to Adam and I was thinking about babies? I shook my head.

  “Oh!” Adam exclaimed out of the blue, and for a moment I was afraid that he’d guessed what I was thinking. “The cat has yellow eyes!”

  “Yes?” I said.

  “In the barn, her eyes were glowing green.”

  I shrugged. “Yes, cats’ eyes glow either green or red, depending on the breed, as far as I know.”

  Adam chuckled. “You’re becoming quite the cat expert, aren’t you?”

  I groaned. “Yes, the cat population in my apartment has just doubled. I hope Bernard likes her.” As far as I knew, Bernard had always been an only cat. He wasn’t likely to take well to an interloper.

  My fears were shortly proven correct. Adam unlocked my door for me, and then shut it behind me as I hurried up the stairs to my apartment, Sasha under my arm. I deposited her on my floor, and then looked around for Bernard.

  I didn’t have to wait long. Bernard ran into the room, happy to see me, but ground to a halt when he caught sight of Sasha. His eyes went round and staring. He hissed and arched his back, and every hair on his body stood out as if he’d been plugged into the electricity. He opened his mouth and showed every tooth he had, more teeth than I’d ever known that cats possessed, all long and pointed. He then let out a blood-curdling shriek.

  With that, he hissed viciously, turned, and sprinted from the room. To my horror, Sasha sprinted after him. Cat fight! What would I do? I did not have a clue. I ran after them, but when I reached the kitchen, Sasha had Bernard bailed up in a corner.

  It was soon apparent to me that Sasha thought Bernard was playing, and that Bernard thought Sasha was a depraved monster from hell. Bernard cowered in the corner, swiping at Sasha and hissing, while Sasha sat there happily, trying to swipe at his paw.

  I did the only thing I could do. I fetched Bernard’s food bowl, and then grabbed a dish of mine for Sasha, and spooned cat food into each bowl. Bernard forgot all about Sasha and ran for the food. Sasha did, too.

  With the cats happily eating, I heaved a sigh of relief, and threw another log on the fire. Then I threw myself onto the couch and put a cushion over my head.

  Chapter 4.

  My place was as lively as it always was when I had the girls over to dinner. And, as usual, Gemma and Janet were taking great delight in poking little jabs at each other. Everything was going over Bunny’s head, forcing the two to stop their squabbles long enough to try to catch her up to speed. Half the time it failed, but at least I didn’t have to referee every three seconds.

  I was on top of my game. I had researched meals that Janet might like, but at the same time, meals which would actually be edible by the rest of us. Potato curry with roti and steamed broccoli, along with toasted French bread. Yum! I knew that Janet probably wouldn’t go for the latter, but Gemma, Bunny, and I would certainly enjoy it.

  Of course, the kitties were tucked away in the laundry room, and both were complaining loudly. Sasha loved human company, so being banned to the laundry room didn’t go over well with her. She had tragic, big eyes like a child sent to time out.

  Bernard had been more upset about being stuck in the little torture chamber with his new guest. He wasn’t keen on her attempts to cuddle, groom, and socialize. Not at all. He had been an only child to his human Dave for years, and thought other felines were beneath his notice. Sasha, on the other hand, had been delighted to find a new cat friend, and didn’t seem to realize that Bernard was less than impressed.

  Nevertheless, both cats were safe in their temporary prison, and I had put on music to muffle Bernard’s yowling. All this was due to Bunny’s cat allergy — or phobia — or allergy-induced phobia. I wasn’t sure which it was. She had mentioned to me more than once that she was scared of cats as the word ‘cat’ was in the word ‘catastrophe’. I had long since given up trying to convince her otherwise.

  So, phobia check. Healthy food check. Tasty double check. I sure was bringing my A-game tonight. All that was left for my life to be perfect was to figure out how another fake man nun was connected to the strange death of Mrs. Sutton. Oh, and perhaps for my relationship with Adam to progress.

  “How do you do it, Rose?” Gemma gushed as she savored a bite.

  I tried hard not to stare. It was Gemma’s day off, and that was the time she liked to unwind and ‘express herself’ as she put it. Tonight Gemma was pink — very pink. She was sporting spandex, a neon pink shirt with random designs, and giant pink vintage hoop earrings. Even her nails were resplendent in pink and white stripes. Whatever Gemma did, she went all out on.

  “Practice I guess,” I finally responded. I glanced at Janet, who to my relief seemed at least to be eating a little of the curry. Bunny was glancing around now and then as she ate, perhaps on the watch for cats.

  “Oh goodness, I can’t believe it!” Gemma gasped in shock, pointing at Janet. “She’s eating! And it’s real food! Even potatoes! Where’s my camera?”

  “Rose went to a lot of trouble to make dinner. Of course I’m going to eat.” Janet pushed a piece of potato around with the back of her fork. “You’re dressed up like Pepto Bismol, and you act like I’m the strange one?”

  “With your funnel seeds and Mesopotamian diets? Absolutely!” Gemma said as she started rummaging through her purse.

  “Fennel seeds and Mediterranean diets. Oh, forget it!” Janet gave a dramatic eye roll and a wave of her hand. “I’ve long given up on th
e idea of getting you even to look at a treadmill, much less try a healthier lifestyle! Don’t expect me to run to see you in the hospital when you clog your arteries and waddle around in a size fifty.”

  “I won’t. With all the strange things you do to your body, you’ll beat me there!” Gemma shot back as she triumphantly brandished her phone. “I need photo evidence — Janet eating something normal!”

  “Don’t!” Janet snapped as she ducked to avoid the aimed lens.

  “You’re on websites and magazines. Don’t even begin to tell me you are camera shy.” Gemma waved her phone at Janet.

  “It’s my carbs cleanse week!” Janet protested.

  Bunny turned her attention from watching out for cats, to the topic at hand. “You’re cleaning cars this week?”

  Gemma and Janet exchanged glances. I took a quick breath. “Speaking of events this week, there’s something I wanted to talk to you guys about.”

  “Did you and Adam finally go on a date?” Gemma demanded as her attention focused at once on my announcement.

  Janet sat back up and carefully moved her plate away in case of a camera shot.

  “Come again?” I asked in confusion.

  “You and Adam. Hottest guy in town?” Gemma grinned teasingly as I felt my face redden.

  “Oh?” Bunny asked curiously as she looked between everyone. “Do they mean the newsboy you talk to? I didn’t know you two were dating.”

  “We’re not,” I said quickly.

  Gemma and Janet gave a collective sigh. Gemma was the first to speak. “Oh c’mon. You. Him. Dinner. It shouldn’t be hard. You bonded over that whole mystery with —”

  I interrupted her at once. “Yes, but it’s complicated.” I did not want Bunny to know my involvement with finding her husband, Dave’s, murderer and I did not want her to know that the nuns were actually a gang of infamous bank robbers. If the fake nuns in the convent caught on that Bunny was involved, then there could be big problems.

  Janet’s brows rose as she delicately tasted a tiny bite of the curry. “So, if that isn’t the big news of the week, what’s up? Is your shop being featured in the local magazine?”

  “It really should,” Gemma said, agreeing with Janet for once. “You always have the most interesting items down there. I love that chandelier lamp you sold me. It’s right by my bed. Makes me feel all fancy while I’m winding down for the night.”

  “Well, at least something in that apartment has some class.” Janet gave an exaggeratedly pleasant smile. She never could stand Gemma’s decorating style. She had ranted for hours about the latest one, with the hula lamps and beaded curtains.

  “And lots of character, unlike a certain bleached-out hospital posing as a house,” Gemma replied pleasantly before turning back to me. “So, what’s your big news?”

  I bit my bottom lip as I glanced in Bunny’s direction. I hadn’t wanted to throw off Gemma and Janet’s schedules again with an emergency meeting. “Well, Gemma, you remember when you made a donation at the convent?” I said carefully, raising my eyebrows and shooting Gemma a penetrating look. “Well, Mrs. Sutton seemed really interested in the convent right before she died. That made me think about the nuns. She mentioned them, you know.” I wiggled my eyebrows at them.

  Bunny made a sympathetic sound. “Oh, the nuns sound nice. What happened to Mrs. Sutton?”

  “She fell down the stairs at her place a few days ago. The police think it was a heart attack.” I looked at Gemma and Janet. “But who knows?”

  “Well if the police say so, it’s probably true,” Bunny said. “Police are very acknowledgeable on stuff like that.”

  I forced a smile. “Anyway, I knew Mrs. Sutton for years. We did a lot of business together. I never knew she had such an interest in the convent.”

  “I guess you never really know people.” Bunny’s tone was wistful. “Take Dave and me. When we got married, it was like he was a complete stranger.”

  “Yeah, you’d think you’d know a guy after one blind date. Right?” Gemma asked, earning an elbow jab from Janet.

  Bunny had only been married to Dave for three weeks, so the story went. And Dave had never mentioned being married, but he’d said plenty about avoiding it.

  “So how did you notice her interest in the convent again?” Janet leaned against the table as she picked at a piece of broccoli.

  “Well, she had a bunch of furniture she wanted me to buy. She wanted me to go straight out there, and while we were talking on the phone, she mentioned that she wanted to tell me something about the nuns.”

  At that point, Bernard’s irritated yowl could be heard over the music. I rose and went over to turn up the stereo, then made sure there was still plenty of playback time. The last time Bunny overheard Bernard’s squalling, she had acted like there was a hungry tiger in the place instead of a calico.

  “What was it she wanted to tell you?” Gemma asked, as she rubbed her smarting arm and gave Janet a sideways glare.

  I shook my head. “No idea. She was going to tell me when I got there.”

  Gemma frowned at the news. “But when you got there, she’d already fallen.”

  Bunny gasped and reached out to give my hand a sympathetic pat. “Oh my! That had to be a terrible thing to walk into! Did you get a consultation?”

  “A what?” I was confused. Every time I thought I was starting to understand Bunny-speak, there was a curve ball to try to figure out.

  “You know. Did you go to someone to talk about it?”

  “You mean counseling, Bunny,” Janet corrected her, while Gemma tapped her finger on the table impatiently.

  “Maybe I’ll look into it later.” I sighed long and hard. While Janet and Gemma argued less when Bunny was around, Bunny’s presence didn’t make telling them anything any faster. “But here’s the thing. When I found her, she was clutching Rosary beads.”

  “Was she Catholic?” Gemma furrowed her brow.

  I shook my head. “No, she wasn’t.”

  I wanted to tell them about the piece of black cloth as well, but I couldn’t think of a way to tell them in front of Bunny. There was also the possibility that Gemma would lecture me at length about the legalities, or lack thereof, of going to the house to look for clues.

  “Anyway,” I continued, “I’d love to know what she wanted to tell me.”

  “Oh what a good idea, a trip to the convent,” Bunny said. “That sounds lovely!”

  “Would you like me to go with you?” Janet offered. “I’ve been there before, so I have a feel for the place.”

  “I should go too for moral support,” Gemma added quickly, giving us both a look of warning. Apparently ‘moral support’ meant ‘make sure you two don’t break any laws’.

  “Oh can I come too?” Bunny asked cheerfully. “It will be like a field trip! I like the nuns. They’re a little creepy with the whole not talky thing, though.”

  I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. “No, we are not visiting the convent,” I said wearily. “I didn’t say a word about visiting the convent. I only said that I wondered what Mrs. Sutton was going to tell me about the nuns. Anyway, Bunny, do you see the nuns a lot?”

  Bunny nodded vehemently, her head bobbing up and down. “Oh yes. Two came in the other day. They seemed nice enough. I felt sorry for them, not getting to own anything. They looked at the electronics and the jewelry and stuff a really long time.”

  I was worried at that news. Bunny’s deceased husband, Dave, had been murdered by one of the nuns. In fact, he’d been a pawnbroker for the gang. Why were the nuns looking in the store now? I sure hoped they didn’t want Bunny to become their new fence.

  As I was drifting off into a daydream in which the nuns asked Bunny to become their fence and she thought that they wanted her to build them a picket fence, I was brought back to reality by a sudden commotion. A furry terror leaped onto the table and landed on the curry on the nearest plate.

  That was followed soon after by a scream of horror. Bunny backed away
from the table in wide-eyed terror. Bernard looked up at her and glared — clearly he thought she had a nerve to disturb his stolen dinner.

  “Bernard!” I said in alarm as I hurried to look at the laundry room door — which was closed. There was no time to examine his escape route; I had to catch the villain.

  Bunny, her eyes tightly shut, waved her hands wildly as she bounced her knees in an attempt to get the cat off herself without touching him. To my surprise and Bunny’s obvious horror, Sasha then appeared. She seemed to think Bunny was playing a game, and stood on her back legs, happily trying to bat at her waving hands.

  I lunged for Bernard, but he’d had enough of captivity. He grabbed a big chunk of potato before bolting off the table toward the living room.

  Bunny chose that moment to open her eyes. “There’s two of them!” she screamed in terror.

  I dived for Sasha, but as I seized her, she sunk her claws into Bunny’s shirt, clinging for dear life. Bunny leaned backward in her chair, causing it to tumble to the floor. The startled Burmese made a dash back under the table, looking up at me in wonder.

  Bunny crawled away from the table on her hands and knees. Bernard jumped over her in a mad dash from the living room to the kitchen, but dropped a large piece of curry-covered potato on her back.

  I surveyed the scene. Gemma was leaning over Bunny, trying to make her sip some water. Bunny appeared to be hyperventilating and was refusing the water. Bernard and Sasha were no longer in sight. Janet was yelling something about curry on the floor.

  “I’m so sorry, Bunny. I don’t know how they got out!” I said, just as an inquisitive meow sounded from under the table. Suddenly, Sasha was there, leaping straight into Bunny’s lap with a friendly tail twitch. Wide amber eyes begged for attention and petting, while Bunny seemed hard put to find enough air to scream.

  Janet seized Sasha. “Quick, put her back in the laundry,” I said to Janet in exasperation. As I turned, I nearly tripped over Bernard, who appeared to think that Sasha was getting special treats. I picked him up too.