When, at last, he found me.

by Adrianna Stepiano

  How dare he talk down to them? They were my father’s friends. They wept at his memorial service; cooked casseroles for months so Grandma didn’t have to lift a finger while she mourned her son. Her son. Yes, my father was her son. She was no mermaid, I was sure of it. I was a goonch, not a mermaid. That bothered me less than it bothered him. Joseph was mistaken in the way he addressed those people and he was mistaken about me as well.

  I trust them. I know them. They shoveled the sidewalk in the dead of winter when Grandma was too sick and I too tired from staying up all night comforting her. I watched the woman who lived two doors down. She held her daughters hand. Her daughter was no more than 10 years old and stood in a nightgown with matted hair. I knew the girl’s name was Celia. I smiled at her and she shyly returned my gesture. They trust me. They know me. I had to defend them. “You owe these people an apology for speaking to them that way.”

  Mr. Rigby turned to leave, muttering under his breath. “He’s a Merrick; he shares his father’s opinion of our kind.” Shuffling away with his shoulders slightly slumped in defeat.

  “No. Wait. He owes you an apology.” I insisted. Looking at Joseph, aghast at the way he treated the harmless group.

  “I owe them nothing.” He said with his jaw still clenched.

  I watched Celia catch her mother’s expression. She shook her head and the girl let a tear fall. They placed their arms around each other before turning to leave. Slowly the group hung their heads in disappointment before backing away.

  He gently placed his hand on me, trying to guide me away from the crowd and towards the beach where Nasani was still bawling her eyes out. “Let’s get out of here.”

  I refused, carefully removing his hand from my arm. He grabbed it, holding tight—leaning into me when he spoke. “We should go. You don’t need their protection any longer. We’ve found each other, it’s our destiny.”

  “No. I don’t treat people the way you have. These are good people, you said yourself they are harmless. What could you gain by hurting their spirit? What could you gain by leaving here with their opinions being so low of you?”

  “Remember Seraphin, you’re new here. You don’t know how these people came to be. You don’t know the lives they destroyed by simply being born. Their father’s or mother’s birthed them against all restrictions. They shouldn’t exist. They’re not like us.” He sounded so sure of himself.

  “Like us? These people didn’t have a choice. Do you think they want to be treated this way? Look at them. Look at their tears.” He wouldn’t look. His eyes remained locked on my face. I found it difficult to look at him so instead I watched my neighbors, wrecked. “I didn’t choose this life and I’m sure not proud of it. My father—he hid me. There had to be a reason. And, he trusted these people with my life. How can you expect me to just walk away from them—from everything—from my home?”

  “FINE!” He threw his arms in the air. “Stay.”

  Walking down to the beach, he met Nasani. His arms wrapped around her as he led her into the oncoming waves.

  The woman who lived in the blue house approached. She wiped a tear from her eye and spoke softly. “Thank you.” She hugged me.

  Then Mr. Lamange patted my shoulder like I had just made the winning touchdown for his football team. “Good job. Thanks kid.”

  Mrs. Nulant who was silent up until then had tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’m proud of the man I married. He may be different but that’s what I love about him.” Mr. Nulant grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms. They walked home together, not allowing any space to enter between them.

  I watched as my neighbors returned to their homes. Remembering something Mr. Lamange said. I yelled after him. “You said you knew my mother.”

  He stopped but didn’t turn to face me. “Did I say that? What I meant to say was that I knew her through your father’s words. He spoke of her often.”

  I ran to him, standing in his way. “No. You said you KNEW both of my parents.”

  “It’s been a long night dear. You should get some rest.” He stepped around me. “Goodnight Seraphin.”

  I stood alone in the middle of Briarwood Court and watched the sun rise.

  THIRTEEN

  At 7am, I arrived on the CORE campus having not slept the night before. Exhausted was an understatement. My first priority was caffeine. As I was pouring my coffee, I noticed Ethan with his head down on a table in the cafeteria. Seeing him sleeping, reminded me of the Spanish class we took together in high school, he slept the entire term. Before I left, I noted the time. His lab shift usually started at 7:15. Worried that he may have missed the beginning of his shift, I gently tried to wake him. As I shook his shoulder, the hand that rested over the back of his neck moved to reveal the Rune of the Sea. It wasn’t Ethan. It was Joseph. Confused at how I could mistake one for the other, I turned to leave.

  Before I could take a step, he raised his head, still groggy from his slumber. “Seraphin?”

  A girl shouted from across the cafeteria. “JAY!” She came running to the table. The room erupted with excitement. “Jay’s back.”

  People were shouting and running to him. Hugs and questions from everyone followed. He kept his eyes locked on mine. “Wait.” He called after me but I backed away and let the crowd take over. I wasn’t ready to face him. The entire room was buzzing as everyone was filled with relief to see that Jay Mason had survived the John F. Kennedy.

  Joseph was swept away to the management offices shortly after he was discovered in the cafeteria. An announcement came over the entire campus that a 2:00 press conference would be held. Jay Mason had come back to CORE on his own abilities.

  Everyone was speculating where he might have been. There was talk of pirates in Somalia holding him prisoner. One woman told how she heard through the receptionist in human resources that he was stranded on an island for weeks until a Japanese couple on Jet Skis stumbled across his starving, unconscious body. When I heard that, I laughed and wondered what story he really came up with to cover his tracks.

  I walked to the press conference with Ethan. It was being held in the exterior courtyard on the main campus. Reporters were swarming; one recognized me as the other lost crew person from the John F. Kennedy and tried to get an exclusive interview. Ethan threatened the guy with bodily harm until he left me alone. He then took off his baseball cap and put it on my head, hoping it would be enough to hide my image. After that, I kept the brim low and my head down. Ethan wrapped his arm around me, leading through the pack, adding an additional layer of protection from the story hungry media.

  We stayed to the right of the stage. Joseph sat casually in a folding chair next to the Managing Director of CORE. She was briefing him, but he looked uninterested. Instead he scanned the forming mass of curious minds. I was no exception. My curiosity was at its highest.

  “He looks nervous, don’t you think?” A voice came up behind us. Ethan and I both turned, his arm remained around me until he realized who was speaking. He dropped it and took a step away from me. Nasani stared at Joseph while Ethan couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

  “Perrine—uh, hey. How goes it?” He muttered out.

  How goes it? Who talks like that? He was the nervous one, not Joseph. I wondered why he was acting so odd.

  Nasani ignored Ethan, which bothered me.

  “Actually, Perrine—I think he looks surprisingly calm and healthy for having been lost at sea for nearly 6 weeks.” I was sarcastic in my answer and she cracked a smile. “I didn’t know you were back to work too. Mrs. Keyes said you were on a leave of absence.”

  “I just returned today. I was a little—well, I just needed to take a break after the John F. Kennedy. Jay is a good friend of mine and I found it difficult to be here without him. Dr. Radski called me this morning when she heard he was back—thought I might want to see him.”

  “Yes—of course.” Ethan fumbled in. “I’m so glad—I mean we’re so glad you’re back here at CORE. The lab just hasn�
��t been the same without you.”

  She turned serious. “What do you mean the lab hasn’t been the same? What’s wrong with it?”

  “No—nothing is wrong. The atmosphere in the lab is what I meant. The overall mood is a little low when you’re not there.” Fumbling even more with his words, his usual confidence was no where to be found.

  She waited—started to respond and then dismissed him once more. Again, it upset me but what bothered me even more was the way Ethan was acting, like he had never seen a pretty girl. He glanced at her often while the Managing Director of CORE introduced Jay Mason.

  “I’d like to allow Jay to recount the amazing journey where he was lost at sea and struggled to survive, knowing he had to get back to his family here at CORE.” Everyone cheered except for Nasani whose eyes I caught in mid-roll.

  As Joseph stepped to the microphone, he spoke soft and clear. His shoulders were back and his head was high. The expression on his face was enthusiastic and his eyes were electric blue. Above all else he was sincere; even though he was lying.

  He recounted the whole ordeal—me falling over, and him stopping Ethan from diving in. At this, Ethan reminded me that he was willing to dive in. I assured him I knew that fact. Then he repeated it to Nasani who ignored him.

  Joseph then told an amazing tale of how he was rescued by an orca. It was an impossible account to believe but his audience bought the entire thing. The orca allowed him to swim on her back; she took him to an old decrepit fishing boat whose nets had just been cast. She became entangled in the nets.

  The crowd gasped. He had them on the edge of their seats as he said, “And there she was, trying to save my life while risking her own.”

  The fictional fisherman heard his cries for help and assumed she was trying to eat him. He explained how orcas are wrongly referred to as ‘killer whales’ even though they did not hunt humans. The men were frightened by the orca and could not understand Joseph’s pleas because they spoke Burmese. Which happened to be one of only three languages Joseph claimed to not know; the other two being Gujarati and Yoruba.

  The orca tangled her massive body further in their nets. Finally, they were able to drag her on board and to Joseph’s horror; they were going to kill her. He recounted fighting with the men, punching the captain square in the nose and cutting the orca free. He was held captive on their vessel for weeks until he was able to prove his worth by helping the fisherman develop a safer more effective fishing pod that they could use instead of dangerous nets.

  I laughed. Nasani laughed. Ethan was captivated with Joseph’s lie.

  Jay Mason, Top Researcher at Coastal Oceanic Research Expeditions then finished his tall tale by asking for donations to, ‘The Orca Awareness Fund’, that he had set up in honor of his imaginary hero.

  I wondered if sea horses were an endangered species and if they were, would he have spun the story differently in order to raise money to protect them as well. All joking aside, he was charming and brilliant. The media hung on his every word and in no time there were people pulling out their wallets and writing checks made payable to The OAF.

  How could this delightful man be the same person who called my neighbors by that horrible name? I watched him calmly raise his arm and wave to the crowd as photographers captured the moment on film. That photo would no doubt appear beside every news headline for at least a week.

  Then a reporter shouted. “Are we going to hear from Seraphin Shedd?”

  The crowd was silent and Joseph deferred the question to the Managing Director. She took the microphone, explaining that the interview was only with Jay Mason but assured the reporters that Ms. Shedd was doing remarkably well and had returned to work.

  I took that as my cue to leave, sneaking past the back of the stage and onto the boardwalk. Keeping Ethan’s hat pulled down over my face, the only thing I could see were my own feet.

  Then I saw another pair of feet, felt arms wrap around me and lift me off the ground. Next thing I knew I had been tackled off the boardwalk and into the water.

  Joseph’s face was just inches from mine. He held me tight as we freely sank in the Gulf of Maine. We landed on a rocky shelf covered in algae that was slick to the touch. Neither one of us had transformed. Ethan’s hat floated to the water’s surface. My hair swirled around our faces. Fish swam by, curious. The sunlight flickered nearly 20 feet above. Below, the Gulf continued to drop to further depths; a dark ravine sprawled next to us.

  So now what? I thought, wondering if he could hear me.

  You can be quite stubborn at times Seraphin. Admit it. I heard his voice.

  You can be quite cruel at times Joseph. Admit that.

  I was wrong and I apologize.

  Apparently, he could hear my thoughts. Tell that to my neighbors.

  I’ve searched so long for you Seraphin and I don’t want to lose you because of some stupid word.

  It’s not about the word Joseph. It’s the way you treated them, like they are beneath us when their only wish is to be treated as equals.

  But they’re not equals.

  Says who? Your father? The man who tried to have you killed. The man who killed your brother? If anything, you should be against every belief he possesses.

  His face turned somber.

  You owe them an apology.

  I know. I promise I’ll set things right. For now though, I need you with me. He held my hands and my gaze.

  There are too many unanswered questions. I confessed my reluctance.

  It was hard to believe that I, Seraphin Shedd, was sitting under that much water having a perfectly average conversation, feeling calm. All those years of panic and anxiety seemed so preventable. Had I known, perhaps I could have lived 18 years with less fear. Sure my father and grandmother, along with the entire neighborhood, spent their lives trying to look after me, but were their efforts as successful as they would have hoped? My father was so overbearing that he might have caused more pain than not.

  He was listening to my thoughts. When I tried to listen to his, I heard nothing.

  Can you teach me how this works? Why is it that I can only hear the things you want me to hear but you can hear all my thoughts?

  I can block. He answered.

  Can you teach me how to do the same? I asked.

  I’m not sure I want to, I kind of like hearing you—unfiltered. Though, it’s probably safer seeing how anyone in a 5-mile radius can hone in on your thoughts as well.

  I agreed with him.

  He went on to explain how the telepathic communication that merpeople use is different than that of other marine animals. We have the ability to hear the voice and feel the emotions of another while underwater, where other animals can only receive signals indicating an emotional state.

  While Joseph was not able to identify all emotions on land, he was able to sense if a person or animal intended harm. Nature had embedded instincts in him; like a rabbit that could feel a fox stalking or a bear who knew hunters were near—Joseph was programmed to detect danger in any person or animal. I was not—it was disappointing.

  We stayed beneath the surface for most of the afternoon. He helped me learn to focus and block my thoughts. I was grateful he could no longer hear my thoughts when he proceeded to remove his shirt; twisting it around his wrist. His body was incredible and I tried not to stare.

  I want you to see. His hand lifted my chin and my eyes traveled back to his body. Then he showed me how he transformed. A layer of silver scales emerged from near his ankles and his feet grew into a caudal fin with blue highlights. The scales moved up his legs, sliding tight over the shorts he wore. Small gills emerged near his hips. He floated over the dark drop-off. I sat crossed legged on the edge; his eyes were level to mine. It’s your turn now.

  To my surprise he grabbed the bottom of my oversized green MOLE shirt—revealing my tank top underneath. I raised my arms and let him slip it over my head. The look he gave me was intense. Pulling me close, he carried me like a child. My legs ben
t over his arm as I gripped his neck. He carried me into the open water, far from the safety of the algae covered shelf.

  You have to want it Seraphin. Do you want it? Or should I drop you and make you want it?

  My arms tightened around his neck, fearful of his threat. I knew what he meant but I put more meaning behind his words. Did I want it? This life? At that moment, my answer was yes. The water was comforting as were Joseph’s arms. However, what lay ahead of that moment was so uncertain. Where was this life going to take me and could I live up to the expectations, whatever they may be?

  You have to feel it; crave it; deep within yourself. He urged.

  The only thing I was certain of is that I wanted to share that moment with Joseph and be like he was—strong and confident. I held on to that thought. I do want it. I let him hear me.

  Then do it. Make yourself into the magnificent mermaid you were born to be.

  I turned to him and our eyes locked—those incredible eyes. Butterflies fluttered through me and my heart raced. I wanted it more than anything. Very slowly, I began to transform. We both watched, as my feet grew long and thin, transparent and sparkling into a lovely purplish-blue caudal fin. As the silvery scales emerged, Joseph continued to hold me near. It wasn’t until my gills formed that he finally let go.

  That was the happiest I had felt in a very long time. So sure of myself in the new form—I twirled with excitement and together we laughed.

  HEADS UP—INCOMING. I heard Nasani. Her voice sounded panicked. There was a disturbance above. Joseph darted in front of me and pushed towards the surface. There was a large splash and he came face to face with Ethan. I watched as his scales retracted and once again his shorts and legs were visible. Ethan’s thoughts were not readable but the expression on his face said more than words could possibly convey.

  He saw me, and my tail. I tried to make my scales go back but it was too late.