Voyage to Arcturus

by David Lindsay

  "Tydomin," muttered Oceaxe, in a vexed, frightened voice. She immediately moved away from Maskull and stood up.

  The newcomer was of middle height, very slight and graceful. She was no longer quite young. Her face wore the composure of a woman who knows her way about the world. It was intensely pale, and under its quiescence there just was a glimpse of something strange and dangerous. It was curiously alluring, though not exactly beautiful. Her hair was clustering and boyish, reaching only to the neck. It was of a strange indigo colour. She was quaintly attired in a tunic and breeches, pieced together from the square, blue-green plates of some reptile. Her small, ivory-white breasts were exposed. Her sorb was black and sad - rather contemplative.

  Without once glancing up at Oceaxe and Maskull, she quietly glided straight toward Crimtyphon's corpse. When she arrived within a few feet of it, she stopped and looked down, with arms folded.

  Oceaxe drew Maskull a little away, and whispered, "It's Crimtyphon's other wife, who lives under Disscourn. She's a most dangerous woman. Be careful what you say. If she asks you to do anything, refuse it outright."

  "The poor soul looks harmless enough."

  "Yes, she does - but the poor soul is quite capable of swallowing up Krag himself… Now, play the man."

  The murmur of their voices seemed to attract Tydomin's notice, for she now slowly turned her eyes toward them.

  "Who killed him?" she demanded.

  Her voice was so soft, low, and refined, that Maskull hardly was able to catch the words. The sounds, however, lingered in his ears, and curiously enough seemed to grow stronger, instead of fainter.

  Oceaxe whispered, "Don't say a word, leave it all to me." Then she swung her body around to face Tydomin squarely, and said aloud, "I killed him."

  Tydomin's words by this time were ringing in Maskull's head like an actual physical sound. There was no question of being able to ignore them; he had to make an open confession of his act, whatever the consequences might be. Quietly taking Oceaxe by the shoulder and putting her behind him, he said in a low, but perfectly distinct voice, "It was I that killed Crimtyphon."

  Oceaxe looked both haughty and frightened. "Maskull says that so as to shield me, as he thinks. I require no shield, Maskull. I killed him, Tydomin."

  "I believe you, Oceaxe. You did murder him. Not with your own strength, for you brought this man along for the purpose."

  Maskull took a couple of steps toward Tydomin. "It's of little consequence who killed him, for he's better dead than alive, in my opinion. Still, I did it. Oceaxe had no hand in the affair."

  Tydomin appeared not to hear him - she looked beyond him at Oceaxe musingly. "When you murdered him, didn't it occur to you that I would come here, to find out?"

  "I never once thought of you," replied Oceaxe, with an angry laugh. "Do you really imagine that I carry your image with me wherever I go?"

  "If someone were to murder your lover here, what would you do?"

  "Lying hypocrite!" Oceaxe spat out. "You never were in love with Crimtyphon. You always hated me, and now you think it an excellent opportunity to make it good… now that Crimtyphon's gone… For we both know he would have made a footstool of you, if I had asked him. He worshiped me, but he laughed at you. He thought you ugly."

  Tydomin flashed a quick, gentle smile at Maskull. "Is it necessary for you to listen to all this?"

  Without question, and feeling it the right thing to do, he walked away out of earshot.

  Tydomin approached Oceaxe. "Perhaps because my beauty fades and I'm no longer young, I needed him all the more."

  Oceaxe gave a kind of snarl. "Well, he's dead, and that's the end of it. What are you going to do now, Tydomin?"

  The other woman smiled faintly and rather pathetically. "There's nothing left to do, except mourn the dead. You won't grudge me that last office?"

  "Do you want to stay here?" demanded Oceaxe suspiciously.

  "Yes, Oceaxe dear, I wish to be alone."

  "Then what is to become of us?"

  "I thought that you and your lover - what is his name?"

  "Maskull."

  "I thought that perhaps you two would go to Disscourn, and spend Blodsombre at my home."

  Oceaxe called out aloud to Maskull, "Will you come with me now to Disscourn?"

  "If you wish," returned Maskull.

  "Go first, Oceaxe. I must question your friend about Crimtyphon's death. I won't keep him."

  "Why don't you question me, rather?" demanded Oceaxe, looking up sharply.

  Tydomin gave the shadow of a smile. "We know each other too well."

  "Play no tricks!" said Oceaxe, and she turned to go.

  "Surely you must be dreaming," said Tydomin. "That's the way - unless you want to walk over the cliffside."

  The path Oceaxe had chosen led across the isthmus. The direction which Tydomin proposed for her was over the edge of the precipice, into empty space.

  "Shaping! I must be mad," cried Oceaxe, with a laugh. And she obediently followed the other's finger.

  She walked straight on toward the edge of the abyss, twenty paces away. Maskull pulled his beard around, and wondered what she was doing. Tydomin remained standing with outstretched finger, watching her. Without hesitation, without slackening her step once, Oceaxe strolled on - and when she had reached the extreme end of the land she still took one more step.

  Maskull saw her limbs wrench as she stumbled over the edge. Her body disappeared, and as it did so an awful shriek sounded.

  Disillusionment had come to her an instant too late. He tore himself out of his stupor, rushed to the edge of the cliff, threw himself on the ground recklessly, and looked over… Oceaxe had vanished.

  He continued staring wildly down for several minutes, and then began to sob. Tydomin came up to him, and he got to his feet.

  The blood kept rushing to his face and leaving it again. It was some time before he could speak at all. Then he brought out the words with difficulty. "You shall pay for this, Tydomin. But first I want to hear why you did it."

  "Hadn't I cause?" she asked, standing with downcast eyes.

  "Was it pure fiendishness?"

  "It was for Crimtyphon's sake."

  "She had nothing to do with that death. I told you so."

  "You are loyal to her, and I'm loyal to him."

  "Loyal? You've made a terrible blunder. She wasn't my mistress. I killed Crimtyphon for quite another reason. She had absolutely no part in it."

  "Wasn't she your lover?" asked Tydomin slowly.

  "You've made a terrible mistake," repeated Maskull. "I killed him because he was a wild beast. She was as innocent of his death as you are."

  Tydomin's face took on a hard look. "So you are guilty of two deaths."

  There was a dreadful silence.

  "Why couldn't you believe me?" asked Maskull, who was pale and sweating painfully.

  "Who gave you the right to kill him?" demanded Tydomin sternly.

  He said nothing, and perhaps did not hear her question.

  She sighed two or three times and began to stir restlessly. "Since you murdered him, you must help me bury him."

  "What's to be done? This is a most fearful crime."

  "You art a most fearful man. Why did you come here, to do all this? What are we to you?"

  "Unfortunately you are right."

  Another pause ensued.

  "It's no use standing here," said Tydomin. "Nothing can be done. You must come with me."

  "Come with you? Where to?"

  "To Disscourn. There's a burning lake on the far side of it. He always wished to be cast there after death. We can do that after Blodsombre - in the meantime we must take him home."

  "You're a callous, heartless woman. Why should he be buried when that poor girl must remain unburied?"

  "You know that's out of the question," replied Tydomin quietly.

  Maskull's eyes roamed about agitatedly, apparently seeing nothing.

  "We must do something," she continued. "I
shall go. You can't wish to stay here alone?"

  "No, I couldn't stay here - and why should I want to? You want me to carry the corpse?"

  "He can't carry himself, and you murdered him. Perhaps it will ease your mind to carry it."

  "Ease my mind?" said Maskull, rather stupidly.

  "There's only one relief for remorse, and that's voluntary pain."

  "And have you no remorse?" he asked, fixing her with a heavy eye.

  "These crimes are yours, Maskull," she said in a low but incisive voice.

  They walked over to Crimtyphon's body, and Maskull hoisted it on to his shoulders. It weighed heavier than he had thought. Tydomin did not offer to assist him to adjust the ghastly burden.

  She crossed the isthmus, followed by Maskull. Their path lay through sunshine and shadow. Branchspell was blazing in a cloudless sky, the heat was insufferable - streams of sweat coursed down his face, and the corpse seemed to grow heavier and heavier. Tydomin always walked in front of him. His eyes were fastened in an unseeing stare on her white, womanish calves; he looked neither to right nor left. His features grew sullen. At the end of ten minutes he suddenly allowed his burden to slip off his shoulders on to the ground, where it lay sprawled every which way. He called out to Tydomin.

  She quickly looked around.

  "Come here. It has just occurred to me" - he laughed - "why should I be carrying this corpse - and why should I be following you at all? What surprises me is, why this has never struck me before."

  She at once came back to him. "I suppose you're tired, Maskull. Let us sit down. Perhaps you have come a long way this morning?"

  "Oh, it's not tiredness, but a sudden gleam of sense. Do you know of any reason why I should be acting as your porter?" He laughed again, but nevertheless sat down on the ground beside her.

  Tydomin neither looked at him nor answered. Her head was half bent, so as to face the northern sky, where the Alppain light was still glowing. Maskull followed her gaze, and also watched the glow for a moment or two in silence.

  "Why don't you speak?" he asked at last.

  "What does that light suggest to you, Maskull?"

  "I'm not speaking of that light."

  "Doesn't it suggest anything at all?"

  "Perhaps it doesn't. What does it matter?"

  "Not sacrifice?"

  Maskull grew sullen again. "Sacrifice of what? What do you mean?"

  "Hasn't it entered your head yet," said Tydomin, looking straight in front of her, and speaking in her delicate, hard manner, "that this adventure of yours will scarcely come to an end until you have made some sort of sacrifice?"

  He returned no answer, and she said nothing more. In a few minutes' time Maskull got up of his own accord, and irreverently, and almost angrily, threw Crimtyphon's corpse over his shoulder again.

  "How far do we have to go?" he asked in a surly tone.

  "An hour's walk."

  "Lead on."

  "Still, this isn't the sacrifice I mean," said Tydomin quietly, as she went on in front.

  Almost immediately they reached more difficult ground. They had to pass from peak to peak, as from island to island. In some cases they were able to stride or jump across, but in others they had to make use of rude bridges of fallen timber. It appeared to be a frequented path. Underneath were the black, impenetrable abysses - on the surface were the glaring sunshine, the gay, painted rocks, the chaotic tangle of strange plants. There were countless reptiles and insects. The latter were thicker built than those of Earth - consequently still more disgusting, and some of them were of enormous size. One monstrous insect, as large as a horse, stood right in the centre of their path without budging. It was armour-plated, had jaws like scimitars, and underneath its body was a forest of legs. Tydomin gave one malignant look at it, and sent it crashing into the gulf.

  "What have I to offer, except my life?" Maskull suddenly broke out. "And what good is that? It won't bring that poor girl back into the world."

  "Sacrifice is not for utility. It's a penalty which we pay."

  "I know that."

  "The point is whether you can go on enjoying life, after what has happened."

  She waited for Maskull to come even with her.

  "Perhaps you imagine I'm not man enough - you imagine that because I allowed poor Oceaxe to die for me - "

  "She did die for you," said Tydomin, in a quiet, emphatic voice.

  "That would be a second blunder of yours," returned Maskull, just as firmly. "I was not in love with Oceaxe, and I'm not in love with life."

  "Your life is not required."

  "Then I don't understand what you want, or what you are speaking about."

  "It's not for me to ask a sacrifice from you, Maskull. That would be compliance on your part, but not sacrifice. You must wait until you feel there's nothing else for you to do."

  "It's all very mysterious."

  The conversation was abruptly cut short by a prolonged and frightful crashing, roaring sound, coming from a short distance ahead. It was accompanied by a violent oscillation of the ground on which they stood. They looked up, startled, just in time to witness the final disappearance of a huge mass of forest land, not two hundred yards in front of them. Several acres of trees, plants, rocks, and soil, with all its teeming animal life, vanished before their eyes, like a magic story. The new chasm was cut, as if by a knife. Beyond its farther edge the Alppain glow burned blue just over the horizon.

  "Now we shall have to make a detour," said Tydomin, halting.

  Maskull caught hold of her with his third hand. "Listen to me, while I try to describe what I'm feeling. When I saw that landslip, everything I have heard about the last destruction of the world came into my mind. It seemed to me as if I were actually witnessing it, and that the world were really falling to pieces. Then, where the land was, we now have this empty, awful gulf - that's to say, nothing - and it seems to me as if our life will come to the same condition, where there was something there will be nothing. But that terrible blue glare on the opposite side is exactly like the eye of fate. It accuses us, and demands what we have made of our life, which is no more. At the same time, it is grand and joyful. The joy consists in this - that it is in our power to give freely what will later on be taken from us by force."

  Tydomin watched him attentively. "Then your feeling is that your life is worthless, and you make a present of it to the first one who asks?"

  "No, it goes beyond that. I feel that the only thing worth living for is to be so magnanimous that fate itself will be astonished at us. Understand me. It isn't cynicism, or bitterness, or despair, but heroism… It's hard to explain."

  "Now you shall hear what sacrifice I offer you, Maskull. It's a heavy one, but that's what you seem to wish."

  "That is so. In my present mood it can't be too heavy."

  "Then, if you are in earnest, resign your body to me. Now that Crimtyphon's dead, I'm tired of being a woman."

  "I fail to comprehend."

  "Listen, then. I wish to start a new existence in your body. I wish to be a male. I see it isn't worth while being a woman. I mean to dedicate my own body to Crimtyphon. I shall tie his body and mine together, and give them a common funeral in the burning lake. That's the sacrifice I offer you. As I said, it's a hard one."

  "So you do ask me to die. Though how you can make use of my body is difficult to understand."

  "No, I don't ask you to die. You will go on living."

  "How is it possible without a body?"

  Tydomin gazed at him earnestly. "There are many such beings, even in your world. There you call them spirits, apparitions, phantoms. They are in reality living wills, deprived of material bodies, always longing to act and enjoy, but quite unable to do so. Are you noble-minded enough to accept such a state, do you think?"

  "If it's possible, I accept it," replied Maskull quietly. "Not in spite of its heaviness, but because of it. But how is it possible?"

  "Undoubtedly there are very many things possible in our w
orld of which you have no conception. Now let us wait till we get home. I don't hold you to your word, for unless it's a free sacrifice I will have nothing to do with it."

  "I am not a man who speaks lightly. If you can perform this miracle, you have my consent, once for all."

  "Then we'll leave it like that for the present," said Tydomin sadly.

  They proceeded on their way. Owing to the subsidence, Tydomin seemed rather doubtful at first as to the right road, but by making a long divergence they eventually got around to the other side of the newly formed chasm. A little later on, in a narrow copse crowning a miniature, insulated peak, they fell in with a man. He was resting himself against a tree, and looked tired, overheated, and despondent. He was young. His beardless expression bore an expression of unusual sincerity, and in other respects he seemed a hardy, hardworking youth, of an intellectual type. His hair was thick, short, and flaxen. He possessed neither a sorb nor a third arm - so presumably he was not a native of Ifdawn. His forehead, however, was disfigured by what looked like a haphazard assortment of eyes, eight in number, of different sizes and shapes. They went in pairs, and whenever two were in use, it was indicated by a peculiar shining - the rest remained dull, until their turn came. In addition to the upper eyes he had the two lower ones, but they were vacant and lifeless. This extraordinary battery of eyes, alternatively alive and dead, gave the young man an appearance of almost alarming mental activity. He was wearing nothing but a sort of skin kilt. Maskull seemed somehow to recognise the face, though he had certainly never set eyes on it before.

  Tydomin suggested to him to set down the corpse, and both sat down to rest in the shade.

  "Question him, Maskull," she said, rather carelessly, jerking her head toward the stranger.

  Maskull sighed and asked aloud, from his seat on the ground, "What's your name, and where do you come from?"

  The man studied him for a few moments, first with one pair of eyes, then with another, then with a third. He next turned his attention to Tydomin, who occupied him a still longer time. He replied at last, in a dry, manly, nervous voice. "I am Digrung. I have arrived here from Matterplay." His colour kept changing, and Maskull suddenly realised of whom he reminded him. It was of Joiwind.