I groan but Lex just laughs. He stands with his usual grace and offers me a hand. When he pulls me up a tiny thrill shoots through me. I'm never going to get used to that feeling. I don't want to. I expect him to kiss me but he doesn't. Instead, I get a warm smile and a gentle squeeze of my hand. Whatever he saw in the window seems to have freaked him out.
"By the way," I say as we walk toward the house, to my delight still holding hands, "how did you manage to get clothes from my room without anyone noticing?"
"Oh," is all he says in response. He rubs the back of his neck in that cute, nervous way of his. "Actually, Mattie got them for me."
"Why?" I ask stopping. I don't want to be the jealous type, but damn.
"I asked her to. I figured it would be less odd for her to be in your room than me. She could say you were letting her borrow something. That's why she was here earlier."
"Okay, but why did you ask her and not one of the maids?" I ask letting go of his hand.
"I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that you weren't home," he pleads.
I fold my arms across my chest. "Anders said everyone has to do what I say now."
I can't help but note the bratty tone in my voice. Lex raises his eyebrows and gives me an incredulous look. "Well," I say slowly when Lex doesn't respond, "I think what he meant is that I'm supposed to be treated more like the "lady of the house" than its prisoner."
Lex bites his bottom lip, his eyes shining with amusement. I suddenly feel completely foolish and I want to crawl into bed for the next year. "Ah," he says nodding. "I did hear that order go out. Not exactly how you remember it, but some version. I hate to say this, but in my experience the staff likes to talk and I don't think your newfound freedom extends to staying out all night with a member of said staff. Or any guy for that matter."
Lex gives me a sexy smirk and takes my hand again. It's funny how a simple touch can set me completely at ease. "Why, Mr. Monroe. The things you insinuate," I say in my best imitation of a noble Englishwoman.
Lex laughs softly. When we reach the kitchen door he bows deeply and kisses the back of my hand. "M'lady."
I curtsy and can't help but giggle. Lex pulls me close to him.
"You are so beautiful when you laugh," he whispers huskily into my ear.
My breath goes shallow. "And when I'm not laughing?" I whisper.
Instead of answering, he tilts his head presses his lips to mine. It's barely a kiss but there is so much meaning and heat in it. I pull away before it can deepen. I don't really want to, but we've run out of time.
"I would say see ya later," I sigh, "but who knows when I'll be free. Magda seemed pretty intent on filling up my schedule for the rest of my natural life."
Lex rubs the pad of his thumb across my lips before giving me another gentle kiss.
"Don't worry. I'll find you," he says with another sexy smirk.
I let go of his hand and turn to reach for the doorknob. When I look back, he's gone. A goofy smile spreads across my face. Lex has given me a lot to think about, but all I can concentrate on is how good it felt to fall asleep in Lex's arms and wake up in his bed.
It's Sunday, Thelma's day off, so I expect to find the kitchen empty. I head straight for the fridge intent on getting something in my stomach before I have to deal with whatever having an assistant entails.
"Evan. You look well."
I freeze and turn around. Anders is sitting at the kitchen island. I must have walked straight past him without noticing. His cold gaze sends a chill through me as his eyes slide from my damp, freshly washed hair tied in a topknot, down to my sandals.
"I'm surprised you're up so early," he says smirking.
I shrug and pretend to rifle through the fridge. I suddenly feel too guilty to eat but I figure I should put up a front. Besides, I would probably regret not eating later. I shut the refrigerator door and opt for one of the pastries laid out under a glass cloche on the counter.
"I can't stay and chitchat. I have to meet someone," I say brightly and turn to leave.
"I know. I'm taking you to the airport to pick her up."
I turn back to look at him. "Oh," is all I can manage. Anders smiles in a way that doesn't reach his eyes.
I give an exaggerated sigh. I really don't want to go back to the days where he silently loathed me. "Look, about last night..."
Anders throws his hands up and gives me a smile that rivals Jack Nicholson in The Shining. "It's forgotten." He stands and leaves the room without another word. With a sick feeling in my stomach I follow.
Chapter Sixteen
We're back to tense silence. The airport is only about sixty miles outside of Price, but it might as well be a thousand. As hard as I try to focus on the passing scenery, it's too difficult to ignore the tension and anger that radiates off Anders. I can't take the silence anymore. I have to say something.
"Anders," I start without looking at him, "I'm sorry about last night. I was drunk and mad and I shouldn't have danced with you like that."
I glance at him out of the corner of my eye; his jaw is still tight but his eyes have softened a bit. I figure he's not going to say anything, so I'm surprised when he speaks.
"I told you, it's forgotten," he replies. Instead of sounding angry he just sounds defeated.
"Clearly not," I sigh.
Anders relaxes his grip on the steering wheel and glances at me before fixing his eyes on the road.
"You really don't remember, do you?" he asks after a few more miles roll by.
I turn in my seat to look at him. "What are you talking about?"
My frustration gives way to curiosity. He can't be talking about last night, because I remember everything in perfectly clear HD quality, despite the copious amounts of gin and jungle juice. I feel myself begin to blush as the memory of Lex's room comes to mind. I quickly push the thought away.
Anders glances at me. "We've met before. When we were a lot younger."
I shake my head unable to comprehend what he's saying. The car begins slowing and Anders pulls into a rest stop. He parks, shuts the engine off, and turns to face me. His face is tight, but his eyes are earnest. I can see the transparency of his thoughts as he struggles to work them out.
"For as long as I can remember," he begins, "I've lived at the Price estate. We lived there when my father worked for your grandmother. After he died, I didn't have anyone else. So, she took care of me. At least, she let me stay there."
He gives me a second to take in what he just said before continuing.
"The summer after he died was the first time I met you. I had just turned ten and you must have been about seven. You came with your mother every Sunday. They would make you sit through tea before letting you free on the grounds. That first day, we met by the lake."
Anders smiles to himself. I'm too stunned to speak; if I weren't completely paralyzed with shock, I would be bolting from the car right about now. Instead, I stay put, my full attention on Anders. Clearly he's insane, but I need to be rational and hear him out.
"What are you thinking?" he asks, taking in the baffled expression on my face.
"Honestly," I say even though my mouth is completely dry, "I have no memory of any of that. My mother never mentioned taking me there. Until now, my only memory of Magda is when she showed up, unannounced, to my tenth birthday, got into a huge fight with my mom, and stormed out."
I start to smile at the thought but stop short. It just now set in that there won't be anymore birthday parties with my parents. There won't be any more lopsided cakes that still taste amazing or foreign language dictionaries to roll my eyes at. I take a deep breath and will the memories away, push them deep below the surface where I can ignore them.
"How do I know you're not making this up?" I demand. I'm not in the mood to play games. Lex can dodge my questions all he wants, but Anders is weaker and I won't give in easily.
"You don't," Anders says simply, "but I have no reason to lie to you. I just want you to understand."
"Understand what?" I ask through gritted teeth.
"Just, please let me finish?" Anders pleads.
"Fine." I wrap my arms around myself and wait for him to continue.
"I was a mess. No one would give me any answers about what had happened to my father. I was alone. Magda provided for me, but a well-trained staff became my family. That's why Thelma and I are close, she was the only mom I had."
A chill runs through me as he recounts an all too familiar story.
"When you found me that day, at the lake, I didn't want anything to do with you. To ten year old me, you were just some annoying kid. The next Sunday I tried to hide from you, but you found me. It didn't matter where I hid or how clever I thought I was being, you always managed to find me. Eventually, it became a sort of game. I would hide and you would find me, and then we would go on some elaborate adventure that you would make up."
I watch as Anders' eyes light up with a smile. "You were good at that, making up stories and characters, roles for us to play. You told me that Anders was a stupid name, so you called me Max and decided that I was a world renowned dragon slayer and violinist."
I swear my heart stops beating when he says that. "You're fucking with me, right?"
Anders brow creases. "What? Evan, I..."
"No. Max was my imaginary friend. I don't know how you found it out or what kind of joke this is or ..." I trail off. My hands start to shake and I'm near hysterics. The car is off, but the lights begin to flicker and glow.
"Evan, stop. I'm not making this up." His words tumble out in a rush and it takes all of my willpower not to jump out of the car and run away. "We played games and we had fun, you were the only bright spot in my life back then. And then one day you came and you were so upset. I had to come and find you, and you were sitting by the fountain in the front of the house. You were crying and you looked like you hadn't slept in days. I tried to get you to tell me what was wrong, but you just kept crying."
I freeze. All the color drains from my face and my breath goes shallow. "I remember," I whisper, turning my wide-eyed gaze to Anders. "Go on."
He takes a shaky breath. "Finally, you told me. You had been having these nightmares and you were scared. You were so scared. I promised you that I would protect you, that I wouldn't let anyone hurt you. Then your mom came and took you away and I didn't see you again, not for a long time."
I close my eyes and let the memories flood back to me. I don't remember the dreams so much as I remember the feeling of terror that I lived with until my parents took me to see doctor after doctor, each one prescribing some exercise to clear my mind before bed or some new intensive therapy. Finally, they prescribed me medication. It left me in a haze and that time period is still blurry to me. I remember asking my mom when I would see Max again. She told me he wasn't real, that he was imaginary and I needed to grow up and forget about him. So I did.
"Anders, I went through a lot that year. I must have just blocked that whole summer out. I'm sorry." I wipe the hot tears away with my palm. The idea is unsettling, but it makes sense. What he says adds up with what I went through, mostly.
"Don't apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for. It's just...when you never came back I was so worried about you. I thought maybe, you really had..."
He pauses and rubs the back of his neck in a very Lex gesture.
"Anyway," he continues, "eventually I found out you were okay, but I never stopped caring about you, wondering how you were. That's why, when I started officially working for Magda, I jumped at the chance to be assigned to you."
I have no idea what to say to that. On one hand, it's really sweet. On the other hand, it's kind of creepy that he's harbored feelings for me after all this time. Then again, hadn't Lex said almost the same thing? My mind is buzzing with all the new information I've taken on today and I can't manage to sort myself out.
I bite down on my bottom lip and try to find the right words. "Anders, I know you don't seem to like him very much, but I'm with Lex. I..."
Anders scoffs and shakes his head. "Evan, it's not like that. I just wanted to protect you, like I promised. But I failed."
"You haven't failed anything," I say shaking my head incredulously, "I'm fine."
"No," he breathes, his voice barely above a whisper, "I was assigned to you and your parents. I was supposed to guard you all, keep you safe. That night, I was behind you. I saw the accident happen. By the time I got to your car, it was too late for your parents, but I was able to pull you out. You were unconscious when the paramedics got there. I left before you woke up. After that, Magda gave me a leave of absence and I didn't see you again until the day by the lake."
My chest is so tight I can barely breathe. Tears are streaming down my face but I can hardly feel them. In fact, my entire body is numb. He has it all wrong: I remember waiting on the side of the road. I remember the rain and the flashing lights and the blood. Metal on metal on pavement. The shrill buzz of Anders' cellphone makes me jump.
"Shit," Anders curses, "I have to take this."
Without waiting for a response from me, he opens the door and hops out of the car. I watch as he paces back and forth, the crease in his brow deepening as he speaks rapidly with whoever is on the other end. I wipe the remaining tears from my cheeks and try to compose myself. After a few minutes Anders gets back in the car.
"We're going back," he says gruffly. I can see the line of communication between us shut down completely.
"What? Why?"
Anders sighs and throws the car into drive. He makes a U-turn and we're on our way back to Price.
"Anders, what the fuck is going on?"
"Apparently, your assistant never showed." Anders curses and hits the gas.
"God dammit, slow down," I demand when Anders hits seventy. He eases off the gas, but just barely. "What, did she miss her flight?"
"Uh, no. She boarded the flight," Anders says through a clenched jaw. "But, she either didn't make it to the airport or she took off."
"Took off? Why would she do that?"
"I don't know. Look, let's just get you back."
I try to get more info about what's going on, but Anders shuts down any of my attempts to question him. He takes call after call on a headset but most of it is jargon I don't really understand and I quickly find myself just tuning him out. When we finally get back to the estate I barely wait for the car to stop before getting out. I need to get away from Anders so I can figure everything out. Between him and Lex I'm completely overwhelmed.
"Evan," Anders calls after me as I pound up the steps. I stop and turn back to look at him. "I'm sorry..."
"Look," I say holding out my hand to stop him. "I just need some time. We'll talk later."
Without a second glance I turn and run the rest of the way up the steps and into the house, nearly smacking into Mattie in the process.
"Woah. In a hurry are we?" she asks with a smirk. When she takes in my expression her smirk fades. "Evan, are you okay?"
I press my eyes closed to stop the onset of tears. "I don't know."
"What's wrong?" Mattie asks hesitantly placing her hand on my shoulder.
I can't even begin to answer that question. All I want to do is go upstairs, lock myself in my sitting room, and get lost in an endless stream of vinyl. That's what I would have done, normally, but this recent series of events has me reconsidering. Why relinquish when I can take control?
I take a deep breath and numb myself to my worries. "Forget it. Mattie, do you wanna go shopping?"
An hour later, we're elbow deep in racks of Price's overpriced finest. Mattie appears to be in her element; for the first time since I met her, she actually looks happy.
"I didn't take you for such a fashionista," I comment taking in her threadbare blue sweater and grey tweed skirt.
"Just because I can't afford nice clothes, doesn't mean I don't have a taste for nice clothes." She gives me a smirk and waltzes away with a stack of dresses in her arms. I had promised her
free reign on my, but really Magda's, credit card and she's been all too happy to take me up on my offer.
As I sift through a rack of fifties style full skirted dresses I feel some of my tension melt away. It feels good, just to be out in the world doing something normal instead of spending hours sorting through junk in people's basements or wallowing in my room pondering the meaning of my existence.
I make my own selections and head off to join Mattie in the dressing rooms. She's busy trying on clothes at lightning speed and giving the sales lady a hard time, sending her to get different colors and sizes. I find an empty room and go to work trying on a slew of pinks and greens and pale blues. After about fifteen minutes, I'm starting to get frustrated.
The clothes are nice, and they're definitely expensive, but they don't seem to do it for me. The lightweight fabrics in every shade of pastel and primary colors are too reminiscent of what I would have worn B.P.: Before Price. Back then I would have been happy to wear clothes like this because it would have made my mom happy. Now it seems pointless to try and keep up the façade. If it weren't for Madga and her stupid expectations of me, I would probably spend the rest of my days, at least in high school, in yoga pants and t-shirts.
I push aside the negative feelings and get to work choosing outfits that I know would be fitting of Duchess Kate Herself. Even though I'm worried about my would-be assistant and her unexplained disappearance, I'm anxious to use the opportunity to prove to Magda that I can take care of myself and that I don't need a babysitter to keep me in line.
The rest of the afternoon passes by in a blur of boutiques and triple digit price tags. It turns out that Price has a lot of stores, but little variation in the style of clothing they sell. Even the sales ladies seem to take after one another. I'm beginning to get creeped out by the sameness of it all. Mattie seems oblivious; she's consumed by the thrill of the hunt.
Around three we decide to take a break, so I take her to my usual coffee shop. Mattie takes her coffee black. I'm mildly impressed but not enough to skip a heavy dose of cream and mocha. We settle down at a table in the corner so that we can watch people come and go without being noticed.
Evan Elemental (The Evan Elemental Series) Page 14