A Love Worth Living

by Skylar Kade

  When they finally left the museum, it was early afternoon. The lines of tension that had lined her face less than a week before had relaxed, like a burden had been lifted from her shoulders.

  “What now?” Her stomach growled in answer.

  He laughed. “I guess we’re eating. Are you okay with a hot dog?” He pointed to a small food cart parked at the bottom of the museum’s stairs. “It’s not gourmet, but I firmly believe it’s part of the DC experience.”

  She patted her belly. “Stomach of steel. Bring on the mystery meat.”

  As they stood in line, Carrie twitched and shifted to take in everything around them. He loved her curiosity, her desire to make sense of the world. Hell, it turned him on to watch her process everything.

  When it was their turn to order, he asked for two dogs and a soft pretzel.

  “Make it three dogs, and two bottles of water,” Carrie chimed in, handing the man a twenty as she did so.

  He turned to argue, until he saw the look on her face. “Okay. Thank you for lunch. I’m buying dinner, though.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Men.”

  He put his hands up in defense. “I’m all for equitable division of date spending, if it makes you happy.” She frowned when he said “date” but didn’t say anything, so he continued. “I’m just glad you’ve found your appetite.”

  She said nothing, instead taking her change, one hot dog and a water bottle. He happily grabbed the rest.

  When he turned to ask if she wanted ketchup or mustard, she’d started walking toward the nearest intersection. He watched as she approached a man sitting on the corner, guitar on his lap and change filling the empty case. Carrie held out the hot dog and water bottle and left the man with a flash of smile.

  When she returned to his side, she grimaced. “I don’t want to hear about enabling people, or any of that cra—”

  He couldn’t help but kiss her.

  He lost himself in the sweetness of her mouth and let her kindness suffuse every molecule of his being.

  A woman considerate of others, without pity or judgment, had the will to survive. They still had things to tackle, demons to expose and handle, but some of the oppressive fear for her lifted.

  Now he needed to build her up so much she wouldn’t backslide, no matter what horrible atrocities she had to witness as part of her work. If he could uncover the root of her issues, that would be even better.

  When he broke off the kiss, he rested his forehead against hers and tried to remember how to breathe.

  “That was…”

  “Yeah.” His brain had short-circuited and was incapable of a more intelligent response. “Shall we walk and eat, or would you like to sit?”

  Thankfully, she opted for the former. Exertion would be a welcome reprieve, since all he could think of was bringing her so much pleasure she’d get drunk on it. Every day since his first taste of her body had been rough. In comparison, a few more hours were nothing.

  Chapter Twelve

  After walking down to the Washington Monument, and then beyond to the Lincoln Memorial, they boarded the Metro, weary but satisfied. They’d caught the beginning of afternoon rush hour, and once again had to cram into a little spot on one of the cars.

  This time Carrie didn’t panic going underground. Instead she sank against him and laced their fingers together, strumming her thumb against his waistband in an unconscious show of her anticipation—he hoped.

  That’s your qualified professional opinion, so it has to be right, his subconscious chided.

  Regardless of why, he liked the feel of her fingers on him.

  After changing to the line that would take them to their Crystal City stop, they were lucky enough to claim a seat from a departing couple. Carrie rested her head on his shoulder and he slung his arm around her, as comfortable as if they’d been snuggling up for years.

  As the train announcer called for the next stop, inspiration struck him. With a jerk, he pulled her from her seat. “One more stop before we get home. It’ll be fun—promise.”

  He expected resistance. Instead, she smiled and excitement glimmered in her eyes. This would be exhilarating.

  “Where are we going?” She didn’t much like surprises, but David hadn’t yet led her astray. She’d had no clue a day of aimless wandering could be so fulfilling.

  He tugged her along, and they exited the car in a swarm of teenagers and mothers with children in tow. The sign read Pentagon City, and she cocked her head. “We’re going to a shopping mall?”

  A roguish smile sent her heart thundering. “It’s a surprise.” He led her through the crowd of travelers, up the escalator, and through the doors that separated the Metro from the food court.

  He’d taken her to a mall. If he wanted to go shopping, he was with the wrong girl. Her entire wardrobe, comprised largely of duplicates of the clothes she found most functional, was purchased online—no stores, no changing rooms, no great surge of humanity.

  She’d bide her time and trust him, but if he stepped foot into a clothing store, she’d protest. Though the thought of helping him pick out clothes did hold some appeal. She’d have an excuse to run her hands along his body, stroking across the fabric and tugging at hemlines to see how things fit. Thoughts of his body perked her up.

  Once inside, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and led her to another escalator, then another, up to the third floor. She leaned over the glass railing to marvel at the masses of people milling around below.

  After Grace died, she’d hated shopping, always faced with mothers and their children having a day out together. By the time that particular ache had faded enough so she didn’t have panic attacks in public, she’d already discovered the benefits of online shopping. Though it still ached to see happy families, the pain wasn’t prohibitive. Now she regretted avoiding malls for so long—this was a perfect anthropological microcosm!

  She wanted to pull out her phone and record her observations, but David tugged her along toward one end of the floor.

  “But this is prime people-watching! It’s not work, I swear—just professional curiosity.”

  Her demand was met with a laugh and a squeeze. “After we do this, you can have whatever you want.”

  Butterflies leaped to life in her chest—anything she wanted? Including him? The heat of his attention thawed parts of herself she’d tried so hard to keep contained.

  He’d made her wait so long that lust had thoroughly smashed through a good portion of her mental barriers. But she’d decided earlier, at the museum, to call it a loss. She would redirect her energy to shoring up the rest of her defenses.

  She’d give him an inch—only because it served her current needs—but that mile was hers. And no one would breach it.

  They stopped in front of a clothing store at the very end of the long walkway. “I don’t get it,” she said.

  “Then close your eyes.”

  Curious, but trusting, she obeyed. As soon as her eyes shut, he spun her halfway around.

  “Open.”

  She faced an arcade. Excitement bubbled to her lips. “Video games? You’re going down!”

  He wrapped his arms around her waist. “Wanna bet?”

  “Always.” With a laugh, she snagged his hand and pulled him into the arcade.

  After they got change, David let her pick the first game. No question—she headed for her favorite racing simulator and hoped they hadn’t changed too much in the years since she’d played.

  They sat in adjoining machines and chose their cars on the screen. As their virtual selves sat at the starting line, David leaned closer to her. “Bet you I’ll win.”

  She snorted. “Not going to happen.”

  “Bet you a kiss I’ll win.”

  Her stomach fluttered. The countdown began and she slammed on the gas pedal when it hit zero. “You’re on!”

  Three hard-racing minutes later, she crossed the finish line a mere second ahead of David. She whooped with joy and did a little dance in
her seat.

  From the corner of her eye, she saw David turn his to face her. She reined in her joy and looked over at him.

  “Okay, Care, you won. What do you want?”

  His smile was infectious. She closed the distance and planted a long, hard kiss on his mouth.

  When they parted, it took her a moment to catch her breath. “Again?”

  They spent almost an hour playing games and making silly little wagers. He kissed her and they laughed more than Carrie could ever remember doing. With every kiss she hoped she wasn’t setting herself up for irreparable emotional damage.

  David held up their last six quarters. “We have enough for one more game.” He leaned in until their noses almost touched. “Do your worst, Care.”

  She’d saved this one for the end.

  Smirk in place, she led him over to a zombie shooting game and picked up the red-plastic gun. David grabbed the blue one and they waited for the game to start.

  The opening scene had just begun when David’s low voice rasped over her. “If I win, I get to kiss you when we go home…everywhere.”

  She almost dropped her gun. As she waited for her wits to reassemble, she got head-shot and lost one life.

  With a growl, she revived and edged closer to David. Two could play that game.

  When she was hip-to-hip, shoulder-to-shoulder with him, she tilted her head in his direction. “Well, maybe if I win, that’s what I’ll make you do anyway.”

  A groan rumbled from his throat.

  They hit a safe spot in the game, and she shifted so her breast rubbed against his arm. A whole day’s worth of lust—a week, if she was honest—converted her naughty thoughts into words. “Or maybe it would be my chance to make you come with my mouth.”

  Her words shocked her, but she couldn’t be embarrassed—she was having too much fun watching David fumble to hold his gun, especially when his reactions were coupled in her mind with the vivid images her words evoked.

  He was the only man she wanted to lick and taste all over. Just the thought of taking him into her mouth was enough to turn her on…again.

  The gun was tugged from her hands before she could start shooting in the next round, and David marched her out of the arcade. He looked around for a minute, then headed for a small white booth on the other side of the walkway.

  He pushed her inside and pulled the curtain shut behind him before he yanked her onto his lap and pulled her to his lips.

  She gasped, surprised at how much his manhandling aroused her.

  Her mind narrowed its focus to his touch and she soaked in every point of contact between their bodies. Fireworks went off behind her eyes, one after the other, bright lights flashing in her mind.

  “Damn it, maybe the arcade wasn’t a good idea.”

  She froze, worried about his reaction. Had she done something wrong?

  She started to apologize but she didn’t get the chance to utter a syllable before David’s kiss stole her breath once more.

  His groan vibrated through her. “Home. Now.”

  She could only nod, her head resting against his.

  A mechanical buzzing caught her attention and she turned to see the screen behind them fill with five photos of them in various stages of joining together, Photo Strip, $3 scrolled along the bottom.

  Carrie cringed in embarrassment. She’d completely lost control of herself.

  “Oh God, yes.” David maneuvered around Carrie to reach for his wallet. Before she could protest, he’d fed three singles into the machine, and a strip of glossy paper spit out by the far wall of their booth. She snagged it and stared at the five little pictures of her and David consumed by each other.

  They looked hot in print, but she suspected that the evening ahead would put those photos to shame.

  The pictures slid from her fingers, and David studied them, then her.

  “You’re beautiful.” He held the images up to her eye level. “Look at all that passion.”

  His thumb stroked the final image, where she’d rested her forehead against his to catch her breath. She studied it further, marveling at the pure love on his face. It shouted from every line of his expression, from the little dazed smile on his lips as he looked at her.

  They looked happy, content. Like two people with a future together.

  “Home sounds like a great idea,” she said around the lump in her throat. She’d never had a place she wanted to call home more—or a person she wanted to share it with…until now.

  Chapter Thirteen

  She would have sworn under oath the Metro cars didn’t move faster than ten miles per hour as they crawled the two stops to Crystal City.

  At last the doors opened to their stop and she and David burst through. Electricity arced between them and set her nerves alight as if he were already touching her, tasting her.

  A shiver worked through her body, scalp to soles. This would put their first night together to shame.

  They speed-walked the two blocks to their building.

  Once in the elevator, she expected him to cage her against the wall and lay a sanity-stealing kiss on her. Instead, he pushed her to one corner and took the other.

  He preempted her question. “I can’t, Carrie. You rip my control to shreds. Just stay there.”

  Goose bumps rose across her skin—she knew exactly how he felt. While he wasn’t guarded with his emotions, part of her relaxed, knowing he was as tangled up as she was.

  The doors parted—an invitation, a dare.

  She forged into their hallway and felt his starving eyes rake over every inch of her body. Just friends, she chanted. Nothing more. If only she knew for sure that would be enough for her.

  He juggled his keys, thrust one at the lock and they were inside.

  She’d barely opened her mouth to speak when she found herself with her back to the door. David yanked his shirt over his head before he reached for hers. She hadn’t had time to appreciate his body enough before. Hell, hours might not be enough. She seared every second onto her memory.

  The strong lines of his torso and the coarse trail of hair running down his chest and diving into his pants tempted her. Her shirt briefly blocked the view as David pulled it over her head, then he was up close.

  Any time he touched her, innocent or not, she couldn’t think. And if she had trusted him any less, being this vulnerable would have driven her crazy.

  His lips latched on to her neck to nibble and suck, until her thighs squeezed together in empty agony. “I need you.”

  “I know, Care, I promise. Trust me.”

  I do, she screamed, but the words lodged in her throat. That would stay her secret, for now. She trusted him with her body, no question, but that didn’t present much of a risk, did it?

  Scooped up against his chest, she nuzzled against the bare skin and inhaled as if she could indelibly mark him on her soul. She’d never again be able to breathe without remembering the smell of him, clean and reassuring. She ached to have him inside her.

  He carried her across his condo to the bedroom—exactly where she wanted to be. She fell to the bed, cushioned by his hands, and trapped by his body. David reached between them to pull off the rest of her clothes. Each brush of his fingers teased her.

  In the span of a breath, his clothes fell to the floor beside hers.

  “Need you.” His words skated over her nipples and hardened them to aching peaks.

  “Now?”

  “Now.” He groaned, fingers exploring the slick heat between her legs. Her eyes sank closed to absorb every movement of his body and store them away for a cold, lonely night after he’d moved on.

  When David sheathed himself in a condom and set the head of his cock against her opening, all her worries fled. Her hips twitched up, taking the first inch of him.

  “We have all night, Care. No need to rush.”

  “Need you now.” Wrapping her legs around his back, she squeezed, desperate for him to fill her and chase away the darkness. She let her body do the
begging, kissing his arms and nibbling his chest until he cursed and sank into her.

  His hands never stopped. He touched her everywhere, fingers electric and as painful as they were pleasurable, because this was anything but fucking. Every thrust tore at her heart. He was making love to her, and she couldn’t take it.

  Carrie squeezed her eyes shut so she couldn’t see the truth his impassioned face was broadcasting. She stopped moving and hoped he’d finish soon so she could reassemble the walls he’d smashed through.

  And he did, or rather he pulled out, paused, then settled onto the bed next to her, stroking her arm until she looked at him.

  With false bravado she cocked her eyebrow and waited. In response, he gathered her into his arms, but said nothing.

  She couldn’t see beyond his chest. She focused on his nipple, the barely golden skin, the hair scattered across his chest. She counted the follicles in an attempt to lose herself in the mindless task.

  Better than losing herself in him.

  Betrayal—by him, by herself—crawled up her throat until she spoke. “That wasn’t fucking.”

  “Well, it depends how you—”

  “Yes, literally it was, sure. But you were… You—” She blushed and tried to find her way around the words without handing him a part of herself.

  Astute as ever, David picked up on her thoughts. “Ah, I see.”

  He turned her over onto her stomach, yanked her hips backwards and waited at her still-needy entrance. “Is this more what you had in mind?”

  Even as her body reached for him, her mind rejected it. His movements were cold, dispassionate. Even his body felt less alive against her, like he was a machine instead of a man.

  She shook her head against the gray duvet and reached out for something solid. He grabbed her hands and locked them against her lower back, holding them in place with his body.

  He curved over her back, so warm against her skin. “I will never…ever… just fuck you, Carrie. You deserve better. Always.”

  She broke his hold, rose from the bed, snatched her underwear from the floor and put them back on, needing a physical barrier to shore up her mental ones.