A Taste For Kandy

by Rhian Cahill

***

  Parker knew Kandy was looking for him. He had to smile at the turned tables. Now he was avoiding her.

  He had no intention of continuing, but he wanted them to have time to talk and that wasn’t going to happen behind the ice slide or in the back corridor at work.

  They needed more than five minutes to hash this out. And they definitely needed more than five minutes to find out if Kandy was carrying his baby. His chest tightened.

  More than anything he wanted to give her what her heart desired most, but when he thought about his future, about having a family, a wife, he thought of Kandy.

  He’d always thought of Kandy.

  He hadn’t lied to her yesterday. It had always been her. He’d had two semi-serious relationships in his life, but by the time he began working at Frosty’s Snowmen fulltime he was seeing Kandy every day and remembering all the reasons why he’d been so infatuated at fifteen. And each day had been a discovery of more reasons to fall further, deeper.

  “Hey, Parker.”

  He turned to find Mike, one of his mechanics, heading his way. “What’s up?”

  Mike grinned. “I hear you’re doing the boss lady.”

  Before Parker blinked, he had Mike against the wall, a forearm pressed to his throat. “Don’t talk about her that way,” he growled.

  “Whoa. Okay. Sorry man. I didn’t know.” Mike held up his hands.

  Parker took a breath and eased back, lowered his arm and stepped away.

  “Sorry. Sorry,” Mike muttered.

  Gathering his wits, Parker asked, “Where’d you hear that?”

  “They were talking about it in the locker room this morning. And at lunch. Someone saw you two together the other day.”

  Parker grunted. That had to be when Derrick had come looking for the truck keys. “Who was talking?”

  “Everyone.” Mike had the grace to look ashamed. “I’m sorry. I’d have shut it down if I’d thought…”

  “Thought what? That she deserved some respect?”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  Fuck. If this got back to Kandy she’d pull away. She’d have the perfect excuse to end anything between them.

  He scrubbed a hand down his face. He was caught between a rock and a hard place and didn’t have the first clue how to get her to see them as more than a one-night stand. To see the potential of them as a couple. To see him.

  He glanced at Mike. “Look, sorry I pinned you to the wall just… Don’t talk about Kandy like that. No woman deserves that disrespect, no matter the situation.”

  “Right. Of course.” Mike turned away. Turned back. “I should get to work.”

  “Yeah.” Parker sighed. “You should.”

  When Mike left and he was alone in the corridor Parker leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He hadn’t slept last night. Plans had kept ricocheting around his mind, devised and discarded, worst case scenarios flashing like preview trailers at a movie theatre.

  The conclusion he’d come to this morning was that he couldn’t let her go. The problem was that he’d never really had her in the first place.

  ***

  Kandy covered another yawn and wondered when the day would be over. She needed the clarity a good sleep would bring. She’d always known what she wanted — who she wanted — and gone after it with single-mindedness. Grammy called her stubborn. Kandy thought that was a pot-calling-kettle-black statement if ever there was one.

  Her usual determination might explain lying to Parker. She wanted a family — a baby — and decided in the heat of the moment that she could have one. Last night she’d rerun the night of the Christmas party over and over. From the second she’d left home to the second she’d returned and discovered something she hadn’t known before.

  She liked Parker. Liked him. It was a mind-blowing insight.

  Of course now that she’d tricked him into maybe getting her pregnant she couldn’t do anything about her feelings. And she couldn’t trust his, no matter how sincere he appeared or how badly she wanted to believe him.

  God. That stupid lie had fucked up everything. She’d be lucky if he still talked to her after the dust settled. She couldn’t stand this up and down, back and forth any longer. They needed to know now if she was pregnant.

  Pulling her phone from her pocket she searched her contacts for Parker’s number and hit the message button.

  Meet me at my place at lunchtime. We need to do the test.

  She could do it on her own, except the thought brought her close to tears. She wanted Parker beside her when she found out. It was selfish and probably an unreasonable expectation, but right now she didn’t care. She needed him with her for this.

  Her finger hovered over the send button when the sound of footsteps rushing towards her had her head snapping up.

  “What the fuck is going on, Kandy, have you lost your mind?” Jack’s voice echoed off the corridor’s cement walls as he charged closer. “You make a habit of hooking up with —”

  “Don’t finish that.” Out of nowhere, Parker stood between her and Jack, blocking her from any further verbal attack.

  “Parker,” Jack snarled. She couldn’t see Jack, but Kandy could tell by the sound of his voice that his jaw was clenched and he was speaking through his teeth.

  While she wasn’t afraid of Jack, she was glad Parker stood between them. She rested her forehead on Parker’s back. She didn’t have the energy to deal with this right now.

  “Jack.” Parker held his ground, protected her with his body, one arm curved around her to keep her behind him.

  “This is between me and Kandy,” Jack growled.

  “Actually, Jack, this has nothing to do with you.”

  “You fucking work for us,” Jack yelled, his anger and frustration getting away from him. “The situation is a lawyer’s paradise. Boss sexually harasses —”

  “Enough.” Parker took a step forward pulling Kandy with him. “Not another word, Jack. Not one or you’ll be eating out of the other side of your head.”

  “What the hell is going on?”

  Great. Just what they needed. She peered around Parker’s shoulder to see Chris running down the corridor and he was not alone. Elle, Leah and Frank followed him. Brilliant. Jack’s yelling had drawn a crowd.

  “Nothing’s going on,” Parker answered. “Jack is under the impression he gets a say in Kandy’s life. I’m just reminding him that what she does in her personal time has nothing to do with him or Frosty’s Snowmen.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Jack,” Elle’s stern voice entered the conversation. “Parker is right.”

  “Not when she’s fucking —” The sound of flesh hitting flesh cut off Jack’s words.

  Kandy hadn’t seen Parker move, hadn’t felt it even though she was pressed against him. Jack apparently hadn’t seen him move either, because he rocked back on his feet and almost lost his footing. She wasn’t sure who gasped and, to be honest, she didn’t care. She only needed to see if Parker was okay. That was one bone-crunching punch.

  “Are you okay?” she asked as she slid around him and grabbed his hand to inspect any damage.

  “What the fuck, Kandy?”

  She glanced over her shoulder at Jack. “What?”

  “He punched me and you’re asking if he’s okay?”

  It took her a moment. She was tired after weeks of interrupted sleep and there was so much going on in her head she found focusing a struggle. But finally the current situation solidified and she turned to face Jack. “I don’t care if you’re okay.”

  “What?” Jack looked confused and hurt by her admission.

  “You just spoke to me like I’m a piece of…of…I don’t know what, but I do know that you had no right to question me on my life choices. We work together. I think of you as family. But so help me God, if you ever come at me like that again, you’ll want to guard your head and I’m not referring to the one on your shoulders.”

  Jack opened his mouth to speak, but Kandy didn�
��t wait to hear what he had to say. She spun around, grabbed Parker’s non-punching hand and pulled him down the corridor.

  “We’re out of here. Find someone to cover us both for the rest of the day, Jack,” she yelled as she stalked away.

  God. She was wide-awake now, energy thumping through her veins, making her heart pound and her breath fast.

  “Slow down, K.”

  “No.”

  “Okay.” Parker chuckled. “We’ll leave your car here. You’re not driving while you’re mainlining adrenaline.”

  “Fine. Whatever.” She didn’t care. The objective was to get away from here. How that happened didn’t matter.

  ***

  Parker waited outside Kandy’s bathroom door. Sweat beaded on his skin, but it had nothing to do with the hot summer day. She was in there peeing on a stick.

  Fuck.

  His level of desire for either result bamboozled him. He didn’t understand how he could want something and not want it with equal ferocity. His emotions were a tangled mess of knotted threads that he couldn’t seem to unravel.

  The door behind him opened and he spun around.

  She looked so uncertain, so lost, standing in the doorway. He strode forward, pulled her into his arms and held her. “And?”

  “We have to wait a few minutes,” she murmured into his chest.

  “Okay.” He drew in a deep breath and tightened his grip. “No matter what, I’m here.”

  She nodded, but didn’t speak.

  Parker had no idea how long they stayed that way, her seeking comfort, him delivering, but when she moved to pull out of his arms, he didn’t release her. “Can we look together?” he asked. Whatever the result was, it affected them both.

  Leaning her head back, she gazed up at him with troubled eyes. “Whatever happens, Parker I want you to know how sorry I am.”

  “I’m getting tired of hearing you say that,” he said with a grimace. She still didn’t get it. “Nothing would have stopped me being with you. If you hadn’t lied, if I didn’t have any way of protecting you from this, I wouldn’t have been able to resist you. I want to make you happy. Give you whatever it is you want.”

  She stared at him, her gaze searching his, her face a mask of disbelief. With a small shake of her head, she murmured, “We should check.”

  He knew it would be pointless to push. The only way to convince her of his sincerity was to show her any way he could. And that meant supporting her. Parker slipped his hand in hers. “Lead the way.”

  Kandy’s shoulders were hunched, her head tipped down a fraction, and he wanted more than anything to see her smile. His own spirits were low too, the magnitude of what they were about to discover weighing down his mood.

  Entering the bathroom, she moved to stand in front of the counter, her eyes glued to his in the mirror. As if by mutual agreement, they lowered their gazes to the counter.

  Negative.

  Kandy wasn’t pregnant.

  They weren’t going to have a baby together.

  “Oh God,” Kandy whispered.

  Her hand trembled in his so he slipped an arm around her shoulders and tucked her against his side. In the next moment a sob broke free and her knees went out from under her. He held her up by pressing her into his side harder. Getting his other arm around her, Parker took her weight and steered them out of the bathroom.

  He bypassed the living room, figuring it would be better to stretch out on her bed. He didn’t bother to pull the covers back when he laid them down. Lying on his side, he kept his arms around her, her front pressed to his and held her. There was no use offering words of sympathy or comfort. Right now all she needed was to know he was here with her — for her.

  Every sob that rattled her body drove a knife through his chest. He wanted to take her pain away, wanted to make everything better. Offer her the option of trying again. Except they weren’t a couple. Not really. He didn’t have the right to grant her all her wishes in spite of his deep desire to do so.

  Instead he held her close, blocked out his own disappointment and hoped she didn’t shut him out once she’d spent all her grief.

  ***

  Kandy did something she’d never done before: called in sick when she wasn’t.

  It seemed her newfound skill for lying had no bounds.

  She also switched off her phone, closed all the blinds, and didn’t answer the buzzer.

  Facing the world was beyond her. After convincing Parker she was okay, and pushing him out the door this morning, she’d curled up on her couch and stared sightlessly at the wall.

  She thought a lot about the last few weeks, about how she felt whenever she thought about Jack and Elle, her less sharp but no less appalling jealously of Chris and Leah. And then there was Parker.

  God, Parker.

  He’d never been anything but nice to her and she’d repaid him with a lie and then the horrible stress and trauma of wondering, finding out.

  All for nothing.

  Her behaviour was reprehensible and she didn’t know how he could stand to look at her. Then he’d held her all night, let her cry her eyes out on his chest. God, she’d been a selfish bitch.

  Not once had she asked how he felt about the situation. Not once did she even consider his feelings in any of this.

  She wanted to go back to the Christmas party and take it all back.

  The lie sat heavy in her chest. No. No more lying.

  What she wanted was a do-over of their night, and this time she wouldn’t lie. This time she’d tell him they needed to use a condom and she’d open herself to everything that he offered and see where it took them.

  If only she could.

  Her shame and disgust hadn’t diminished with the negative test. It had multiplied because Parker didn’t need to go through it with her. She could have spared him the drama and upheaval. Instead, her selfishness had put his emotions through the ringer. He’d punched Jack for God’s sake.

  She had no idea what would happen at work. Just one more thing she couldn’t face right now.

  Curling up, she tucked the blanket under her chin in spite of the blistering heat radiating in from outside, and closed her eyes.

  If she slept long enough, maybe the disaster that was her life would miraculously disappear.

  ***

  Parker stormed into the office and headed straight for Jack. “Where is she?” he demanded.

  Jack took a step back and assumed a fighting stance. “If you’re going to throw a punch at me again, don’t expect me not to hit back.”

  “I’m not here to fight. Where’s Kandy?” She wasn’t at work, wouldn’t answer her phone or door, and Parker was going out of his mind wondering if she was all right.

  “All I know is she called in sick this morning.” Jack’s posture relaxed. Marginally.

  “She’s not with you?” Chris asked.

  Parker’s gaze bounced between his two bosses trying to decide whether they were covering for Kandy or really didn’t know where she was. Decided it was the latter. “Goddamn mother–.” He shoved his fingers through his hair and yanked.

  She was avoiding him. He’d known it, pushed it aside in the hope that he was wrong, but he should have listened to his gut and found a way inside her building so he could bang directly on her door instead of repeatedly pressing the buzzer.

  He’d stupidly left earlier when she assured him she was okay, and it hadn’t been until he’d gone home, showered and headed out again that he remembered she’d left her car at work yesterday when he’d taken her home.

  “Who has spare keys to her place?” he asked.

  Jack and Chris exchanged glances before Chris answered. “We both do.”

  “I need them.” At the pointed look they gave him, he added, “Or one of you needs to go check on her.”

  “I’m sure she’s fine…” Chris trailed off when Parker shook his head.

  “No. She’s not. I knew I shouldn’t have left her this morning.” It was more than he wanted to
reveal and he wouldn’t tell them the whole story. It was up to Kandy to decide if they should know the emotional blow she’d received yesterday, but he had to convince them to go see her. “She was upset last night. She gave the excuse of us needing to get ready for work today to get me out the door, but she’s not here!”

  “You spent the night at her place?” Jack asked, his brow furrowed with lines of confusion. “She’s never…” Jack’s gaze turned speculative.

  “Can we not worry about that now? I’m worried about K. Please,” he pleaded. “Someone needs to either let me into her apartment or go in and check.”

  Chris walked over, a set of keys in his hand. “I’ll drive.”

  Parker followed the two men outside, taking his own car because he’d already told his father he wouldn’t be back today. He was too distracted to work safely. Whatever they found at Kandy’s apartment, he needed time to get his head together.

  When they pulled up outside Kandy’s building, he couldn’t wait in his car. He needed to be close to make sure she was okay. With everything he had, he hoped that she was just taking some time to herself.

  Whether she was hiding from him, the situation, or the whole world he didn’t know. He’d deal with whichever it was when the time came. For now he only needed to know that she’d gone incommunicado by choice.

  When they reached Kandy’s door, Parker took a deep breath and leaned on the wall beside it. “I’ll wait here.”

  Jack eyed him and Chris shook his head. Chris knocked on the door and they waited. He knocked again. Waited.

  “She’s not answering. Open it,” Jack ordered.

  Chris slid a key in the lock and turned. He pushed the door open, but didn’t go in.

  “What are you waiting for?” Parker growled. He was so close to his objective that his body vibrated with tension and he clenched his fists to focus on something other than charging inside Kandy’s apartment.

  “After you,” Jack said, sweeping his arm out.

  Parker didn’t know why they were letting him go in, but he wasn’t about to argue. Launching off the wall he sprinted through the doorway.

  He spotted her on the couch, curled up under a blanket, sound asleep.

  To find her sleeping peacefully instead of one of the million nightmare scenarios he’d imagined…